Why, when something is finally starting to feel right, it turn out to be otherwise? 

You had been wondering, this the whole night that you couldn’t even take enough sleeping from thinking or more like blaming yourself… or him? A war exploded in your mind for more than 6 hours that your mind was tired to think anymore.

The fight of last night kept on repeating on its own in your memory, avoiding you from sleeping and even blink a second. Jungkook was finally there, around you. Arms holding you tightly only to say words that turned everything upside down. The mood was ruined and the night ended up fast.

Flashback

“I need you to answer this.” Jungkook said, taking steps toward you as you walked backward until your back hit the wall. You made sure that there was an arm length between the two of you. “Why?”

“If I had known, I would have told you.” You snapped. “I just used her story. That's it.” Jungkook was putting so much pressure on you, like the inspector he was. You knew that Jungkook could sense the lie in your eyes. That you was hiding something. How could you tell him what you had done?

“You aren’t being honest.” Jungkook said, narrowing his eyes. “Y/N, How could I help you when are being like this? Do you even understand what you are in?”

“No. I don’t want to understand.”

“A brother? A sister? A boyfriend? Someone who loved Hyunah so much, only would do this” Jungkook said, you looked at him with hard eyes, knowing exactly who he was talking about. "And her brother and sister don't live here."

“Jungkook, don’t come back and suspect Yugyeom.” You said, slowly. The anger was rising slowly in you.“He had always been here, for me, when you decided to end everything. I have no one but him. So, it can’t be him. It would never be him” You saw the look in his eyes, they were filled with jealousy and regret.

Jungkook was Jealous that Yugyeom could gain so much trust from you, that you relayed so much on him. That he became your life instead of him. He regretted leaving you when he wanted to hold you so bad.

Leaving was the hardest decision he had ever made. He thought he was freeing you from his love, like this. He didn’t want to be selfish and held onto you when most of the time he never was around you. It hurt him as it hurt you.

“He’s not like you.” you spat and you saw the hurt flashed in Jungkook’s eyes. “He would never betray me!”

“Y/N.” Jungkook said firmly, sending chills through your body. “I’m not talking to you as your ex, right now.” The word ex hurt both, you and him. Like a sharp pain in the chest, because a while ago, it didn’t seem like you were an ex. “I like to do my work well. So let me do it right.”

The ache in your heart was real. You looked at Jungkook who returned your gaze with a stronger one. He turned into the cold one, the inspector. You were work for him and just a work. You had always been  work. He would have never met you if it wasn't for this. The feelings that were among you, were gone a long time ago.

“Earlier…” You started, feeling your throat burning, but you couldn’t cry. You wouldn’t cry. “When you said that you were… wo-worried about me… You said you did because it was me, not work... are you changing your words now?”

You thought that the old Jungkook, your lover was back. You thought… but…

“Yeah.” Your heart shattered. He was lying too, you saw it in his eyes. “If you aren’t going to cooperate with me, then let’s end this all…”

You stayed silent, just looking at him. Deep in your eyes you were screaming for him to stop his harsh words.

“… But I have to make sure you’re okay. I will catch this stalker soon, this became so hard to continue.”  And like this, Jungkook walked outside of the door, closing it behind him with a bang.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

End of flashback.

~~

You succeeded in making Officer Lee not following you, like Jungkook had ordered him. You told him that your friend was with you and he could protect you. Officer Lee looked at you with an uneasy eyes, he didn’t let you go until you inform him about the place you were going. Orders. Jungkook should know. You thought before telling him about your destination  

As promised, Yugyeom picked you up at 8 o’clock in the morning. The way he would take at least 45 minutes’ drive. And you wondered why a few minutes seemed to be longer than the seven years you spent alone without him.

How could he? You thought still feeling the rage from the other night. You glanced at Yugyeom seeing how his expression tensed. Just by thinking where you were going, your body was trembling.

Could it really be… Before you could go any further with your thoughts, your hand made a hard contact with your left cheek. You slapped yourself hard that could leave a red mark for a little while. The sound of the slap, echoed in the closed car. Jungkook can’t be right.

“What?” Yugyeom looked at you with a shocked expression. His eyes lined over the red mark your hands left. His hand reached for your cheek, as he tried to keep his eyes on the road. “Are you crazy?”

“Yes, I think I’m.” You said, teeth clenched. Stupid, don’t even… Yugyeom would never do this to you.

“Don’t hit yourself. Your cheek is red” His thumb felt cold against your warm cheek from the heat as it started to caress where you had slapped yourself. You didn't know if it was because of the slap or because of Yugyeom's hands “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You shook your head and tried to smile. Your hand reached for his hand that was still caressing your cheek, sweetly. You gave it a squeeze assuring him that it was nothing before you removed it. “I’m just stressed…”

Yugyeom was driving to his way to where Hyunah’s corpse was lying peacefully. It was Hyunah’s annual and Yugyeom got used to visit her every year, though he got over her a long time ago. However, he felt that she was the only one who really was for him. That he couldn’t just forget her because she was gone.

Loyal. You thought. How could someone as loyal as Yugyeom would betray you so easily. There was no way he was behind all of this.

You looked at him, long enough for him to feel your gaze over his face. He met your eyes and smiled. “What?”

“Do you think she forgot me?” You hissed, tightening the grip over his hand that was still holding yours. “I’m scared, Yugyeom. That she hates me.”

Yugyeom expression hardened. His hands went cold under yours, as he broke the comfortable touch that he was giving you. You didn’t know how much his touch played magic on you until he broke it. Missing the touch of his hand, you clenched your hands together, putting them on your lap. He still gave you no answer, but his heavy breath and his slightly opened mouth.

“I sometimes wonder if you forgive me in the first place.” The words that you feared to say since Hyunah died, finally came out of your mouth. I do not believe you, Jeon Jungkook. You thought. But this feeling in your chest said otherwise.

“I’m not forgiving myself.” Yugyeom said, tightening the grip over the driving wheels. “If anyone Hyunah should never forgive, it’s me.”

~~

The view of this place, almost suffocated you whenever you saw it. The view was nice though. Trees and flowers designed the place well, alongside with the view of the sea. And the mountain shadowed the other side