Chapter 5

Deconstruct

“PICKIN’ UP SPEED, RUNNIN’ OUTTA TIME-”

“Sa Ra! We have intruders! In. My. House!”

Hee Na peeked out from behind the kitchen counter and squinted at the people in her living. Never had her house been so noisy before. Never had she housed ten grown adults in her house as well.

When N had declared that they were going to see more and more of the idols, she didn’t expect it to happen every other day! For the past month, Hee Na’s mornings were graced by five smiling faces (and one nonchalant) that left her drained of energy. What more could she have expected of the overbearing leader.

She whimpered as she continued peeking out at the men. They had completely taken over the living room. N, Hongbin and Ravi were lounging on the sofa. N was casually reading a book he found on the coffee table. Ravi was busy scribbling in his notepad. Hee Na figured it he was composing again. Ken and Hyuk were sitting on the wooden floor leaning against the opposite end of the coffee table, way too close to the television, singing horribly along to the opening theme song of Beyblade. It was a new obsession introduced to them by none other than Su Hyeon.

Hongbin was seated between the leader and the rapper, legs drawn up and arms wrapped loosely around them, linked loosely at the wrists. He was giggling along to the cringe-worthy cover the real mangnae and the fake mangnae were singing. Next to the sofa, seated on the one seater, was Leo. He was playing with Nico, smiling and cooing at the German Shepherd who wholeheartedly responded in likeness. He had made a beeline for the canine the moment Sa Ra let them in from the small balcony she had found them crammed in. She didn’t get why they insisted on unexpectedly appearing in the small balcony and scaring the living daylights out of her when the front door was a much an easier and a more civilised mode of entry.  

She felt a little peeved at the way her pet had willingly strutted away from her and into the warm, welcoming hands of the intruders but there wasn’t anything she could do about it; he was stupid mutt who couldn’t distinguish between friend and foe. Hee Na thanked her stars that she was fortunate enough to be residing in one of the safest neighbourhoods in Seoul for her dog was certainly hopeless when it came to strangers.

She was too busy sulking over the temporary loss of her canine companion to realize that there were eyes on her. It was only when the hand that was Nico’s ear stopped moving that her eyes flickered up to the owner of said hand.

There was a pair of sharp feline eyes glued onto her.

Despite knowing that Leo wouldn’t harm anymore without reason (most of the time), Hee Na still couldn’t help but shrink away under his gaze. She caught the subtle amusement dancing in his eyes which, for some peculiar reason, offended her. This gave her a kind of strength and she huffed, face still half-hidden behind the kitchen counter, and held her gaze steady at the older man.

How dare he find my misery amusing?

She made the resolve of being the last one to break eye contact no matter what, but plans changed when she heard a firm reprimand from somewhere above her, “Will you please stop staring so creepily at them already? It’s been a frickin’ month! Why can’t you be normal people, Hee Na?”

The moment the words were spoken, Leo’s eyes fluttered away from hers in a haughty manner that made Hee Na feel awfully childish for getting pulled into an impromptu staring match.  Huffing, she turned around and slumped to the ground, leaning against the cool steel surface of the kitchen counter behind her.  

She pouted and poked at the cold marble floor when she felt a different pair of eyes on her, and she looked up to see Sa Ra’s gaze still fixated on her; apparently she was expecting an answer. She stayed silent for a while, dropping her graze to the other’s milky calves before mumbling, “I’d tell you if I knew…”

Sa Ra responded with a chuckle and handed her a cup of steaming hot tea. “Idiot,” she heard the other mutter.

“Yes, yes. And this idiot now has to hide in her kitchen and watch helplessly as her morning TV time is hogged by two man-children watching Bayblade… On my television. In my own house. Tell me, Sa Ra, was I always this pathetic?” she sniffled and jutted her lower lip at the other and whimpered.

“I’m terribly sorry if you feel that way. Although, if you ask me, it’s our leader to blame. Ever since he hogged the television back home to watch his stupid home shopping, we haven’t exactly had the leisure to watch what we prefer.”

Hee Na sat frozen in terror, hers eyes bulging, still set on Sa Ra who was trying her hardest not to laugh at the other’s face.

Slowly, the visual’s face drifted into her line of vision, taking up space right next to Sa Ra. His handsome face adorned a friendly smile, causing his dimples to indent his cheeks.

Awkwardly, Hee Na pulled her bottom lip back in until it was secured between her teeth. Her eyes nervously danced around the expanse of the kitchen, trying and failing to appear normal.

“Do you not want us here?”

Hee Na’s eyes shot up at the handsome man and her insides twisted as she took in the latter’s face. Hongbin’s voice had come out as a husky whisper laced with slight discomfort and disappointment. His lips were set in a thin line, accentuating his sharp, square jawline. His large, adorable eyes were devoid of their usual sparkle, coupled with the crinkle of his brows gave him the appearance of a child after a particularly harsh reprimand.

However, there was something else there too. Something fickle that rose dangerously close to the surface before retreated into the depths. Much a she tried, she couldn’t discern it.

Automatically and almost immediately, she shook her head and stammered out, “N-No, no. I-”

“Is that so?! Well, in that case, can you make me a cup of mocha?” Hongbin’s face broke into a shameless grin as he ended the sentence with a short, light-hearted chuckle. Hee Na blinks dumbly at the visual and switching her gaze to her friend who was biting her lip, face scrunched up in an attempt to not chortle at the moment.

Damn that man’s acting skill…

When the realization finally settled on her that she had been tricked, her lips twitched, threatening to tear into an amused smirk. Instead she continued to put up her unassuming mien.

Deciding to comply with Hongbin’s request, she made a move to get up but froze when a hand was laid upon her crown. Before she had the opportunity to see who the owner of the hand was, a light shove sent her tumbling on her hands and knees, since she was balancing herself on the balls of her feet.

Quickly settling herself on her heels, she whipped her head up to glare at the familiar pair of feline eyes. The vocalist’s face was the usual deadpan except for the dim amusement that could’ve gone unnoticed to anyone not looking for it. The man’s soft, pink lips parted and his silky voice formulated a single word;

“Latte.”

And just like that, he bit into a cookie that he managed to find in one of the many cupboards in the kitchen and walked away without another word. Hongbin chuckled at his hyung’s actions and he too left and plopped back in his spot on the couch.

Hee Na was left staring at the empty space where Leo had once been, scowling at the incredulity of the situation. Anyone in her position would’ve been peeved at the treatment but after five odd weeks of being prodded and poked in her sides to demand beverages, she sort of gave up on fighting it.

What she couldn’t understand was how shy vocalist Jung Taekwoon could be so blasé with his skin ship? Not just him, the awkward visual had managed to pull her into conversations and there were times when eternally timid Ravi had made small talk with her, albeit the awkwardness whenever the exchange took place.

She figured with her reserved attitude, they’d stay away from trying to get along with her which was something she would’ve been comfortable with. For as much as she loved VIXX, she wouldn’t know what to do if she were to known them on such a casual and personal basis.

She was still blinking at the air above the kitchen counter, no coherent thought running across her brain, when the requests started pouring in.

“Make it two lattes!” N drawled from his seat in the couch, before wetting a finger to flip a page in the book he was reading.

“Me too, noona!” Hyuk’s voice boomed, followed by a sharp smack.

“YAH! I said for me too, didn’t I!” the younger main vocal whined obnoxiously over the mangnae’s snickering.

“Um, a cup of green tea for me, then” the rapper’s dry, husky voice resounded from across the room, sounding a little muffle as he uttered the words absentmindedly from around the pencil he was chewing as he stared intently at the lyrics on his notepad.

Hee Na bit her lip and squinted at Sa Ra who was simply sipping away at her cup of black coffee, looking as innocent as possible but ultimately was betrayed by the amusement dancing in her eyes.

Heaving a sigh, Hee Na got up to her knees when Sa Ra spoke, “If that’s the case, let’s move to the bistro, shall we?” She offered her perfect business woman smile to which agreements were heard from the assembly. Turning to her friend, she requested, “Wake the others, will you?”

x-------x

Sa Ra sighed in exasperation and ‘tsk-ed’ to herself. “Hee Na, stop being so unreasonable already. It’s just one dish. One more and you’ll be free of him forever.”

She held her breath and waited for a reply. She tried to keep the anxiety from showing in her face and seeping into her words. Anything to stop this situation from escalating and getting even messier.

Hee Na was leaning against the table of a six seater booth just in front of the bar counter, next to the booth where the six idols sat stiff from the tense hanging thick in the bistro. The raven haired woman had her arms crossed and her chest rose and fell all too slowly to be normal. It almost hurt to look at her directly. Perhaps it was the rage but every feature on her pretty face was accentuated into prominence. It was like staring at a marble statue. One that inspired fear and terror. Her lips were set the way they usually were on her face. Her eyebrows were drawn together in the slightest frown, almost going undetected if someone was to take a peek at the woman.

But her eyes… Sa Ra drew a breath as slowly as possible in order to calm herself. Staring at the other’s dark orbs was like staring into the eyes of the Gorgon Medusa herself. Sa Ra felt like she was turning into stone under the heated gaze of her friend but if that were true, she figured it would happen slowly. She would have to watch helplessly as her limbs and body turned to stone in an excruciatingly slow pace. The darkness coiling inside her brown eyes certainly no joke

Call her crazy but to Sa Ra, there was a sense of thrill whenever something ticked Hee Na off and she wouldn’t be sated by some measly rant or annoyance. She saw the true beauty that Hee Na was when something got under skin long and deep enough to twist and get the flame burning high and scorching hot. It was then that Sa Ra would sit back and enjoy as seethed quietly, setting the atmosphere on fire with her mere presence, splintering the air to fickle shards with a single sharp glance.

Oh, the storms would lay at her feet in worship for, in Sa Ra’s opinion, Hee Na was the human embodiment of Wrath itself.

Much as she adored and admired this side of Hee Na, she did not fancy being on the receiving end of it. Sa Ra had to get Hee Na to do what was important for the time being. She had to make the other see sense. Caving to the other’s rage was not an option. Whatever gets burnt in this row can be rebuilt when the time was right and emotions weren’t raging.  This was their professional dignity they were talking about.

When Hee Na spoke, her voice came out soft, clear and eerily beautiful, the kind used to whisper sweet nothings to one’s lover. The kind that sent one into a drowsy trance. The kind used to sing lullabies to a child. It sent chills down Sa Ra’s spine and she realized that Hee Na was pissed to the point that she wouldn’t hesitate before setting their joint establishment on fire.

“I don’t care if I’m being unreasonable. I’m not doing it,” there was sense of finality in her words that set something off in Sa Ra. Something which she struggled to contain but did nonetheless. It was tense enough to have one crazy lady in the house, two would just make things worse.

“Hee Na, just this once. Like I said, you don’t have to do it ever again,”

“I’m sorry, aren’t we done with the contract anyway? Why must I slave for that ungrateful swine again?” There was a slight change in Hee Na’s tone which peaked the hope in Sa Ra. It meant that the former was still willing to listening to logic. Now all she had to do was manipulated the words and soon the other would be willing to do what must be done.

“Yeah, but he didn’t like the recipe for the last one, remember? So he requested another one, claiming that he’d pay for this one instead,” she willed her voice to be as soothing as possible in an attempt to calm the raging woman in front of her.

“That wasn’t in the contract,” came the curt reply and Sa Ra fought harder to keep herself from lashing out.

Instead she heaved a sigh which didn’t go unnoticed by Hee Na from the way her eyes turned to sharp slits, and explained once again, “Yeah, but he is our employer and if we don’t do as he requests or we won’t be paid.”

Hee Na chuckled dryly. It was almost like she was mocking the other. “Okay, requests? I don’t know how you see him but ‘requesting’ is the last thing he does. We never agreed to create another recipe for him if he were to reject any of the previous ones. Let me remind you, he never rejected any of my recipes before. He can’t just ‘request’ another one and expect one.”

Something snapped in Sa Ra and she walked over till she was standing just before the bar counter and she seethed dangerously at the other, “The contract says three recipes-”

“Which we provided-”

“WHICH-” Sa Ra’s voice rose and stopped herself before taking a deep breath and continuing in a quieter tone, “Which he doesn’t seem satisfied with. Now all we have to do is provide him with another. Why is that so hard for you, huh? What possible reason do you have to be so stubbornly against it? And it better not be something as immature as not liking him. Our job is not to ‘like’-”

“Don’t you dare call my reasons immature, Sa Ra. You wouldn’t know what it is like to give him one of my creation when he doesn’t even respect the effort I put into it-”

“And you don’t think I don’t get that?!” It was too late. Sa Ra couldn’t stop herself anymore. “There’s only one way your efforts are going to be recognized and respected; through money. And if that means that you’re gonna have to wrack your brain for another creation, then so be it.”

“I’d rather my work go unrecognized than in the hands of that man.”

“Well, that’s too bad because he wants one in the next two days. Now you will stop being so childish and come up with something that he will approve of,” Sa Ra wanted to cringe at the tone of her own voice but she couldn’t help it. She had to get things moving. All of this was part of work after all.

Hee Na lips were pursed in a tight line. Any time now.

 “You know why he’s doing this, don’t you?!” Hee Na voice was trembling from trying to keep herself from bursting and causing unneeded damage but she was doing a better job than Sa Ra at least.

“I don’t care. His being petty is something beneath us. I’d rather not have the two of us be brought down to his level by acknowledging it.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one giving him the recipes-”

“He owns a bakery! Of course, I can’t lend my skills for this! Desserts are your forte! Hee Na, this is getting ridiculous-”

Hee Na’s face twisted into incredulity and she lashed out, “Ridiculous?! Do you even know why I’m so against this?! It’s not because he is being so unreasonable! This is my passion, Sa Ra! I refuse to let anyone belittle it! Especially after all that I had to-” She stopped short when her voice began to crack and dropped her head between her shoulders.

Everything was silent was a few moments but deafening at the same time. Sa Ra was hyperaware of the six men seated on the booth next the one Hee Na was leaning against. She was sorry that they had to witness something like this and made a mental note to apologize to them later. Now that Sa Ra was angered as well, her patience dropped significantly and she was annoyed beyond reason over the fact that they had spent so much time arguing when they could’ve gotten to work much earlier.

She opened to say something but snapped it shut when Hee Na lifted her head. The look she wore was like a punch in Sa Ra’s gut. Hee Na’s features were calmer now, almost deadpan. The storm in her eyes had subsided but still very much present. There was also a sort of resignation in those dark orbs. Hee Na wasn’t one to back away from a fight. Her pride always strived to win, Sa Ra was sure of it. It was one of the things that the two women had in common.

Without a word, she walked over to one of the chairs near the bar counter, her footsteps not too fast nor too slow, nor too light or heavy. She picked up the bag and slung it over her shoulder while the other one undid the black apron around her waist.

Sa Ra watched her every move, expecting an explanation from the other but got nothing. It was only when Hee Na was halfway towards the door, the apron still being untied, that Sa Ra strode out from behind the counter and demanded,

“Where are you going?”

Hee Na stopped and after a moment’s lapse, spun on her heels. “You want another recipe. I’ll get you another recipe,” the words came out devoid of any emotion and Sa Ra’s gut twisted painfully, leaving her nauseated. Hee Na waited for the other to say anything. When she was convinced of the contrary, she turned around, yanked the apron off her waist in one smooth, graceful pull and threw it into one of the booth seats on her way out.

Sa Ra watched as the other disappeared beyond the glass wall and stood rooted in place until the final swing of the door before it shut completely. Huffing loudly, she walked towards the booth Hee Na stood against previously, plopped down on the seat and covered her face in her hands, supporting the elbows on her lap.

There was a bit of shuffling and Sa Ra was brought to the realization that the idols were still present. She quickly straightened up to find the hyung line had seated themselves on the chairs placed in front of the bar counter. Next to her on the seat of the adjacent booth were the mangnae line. Sa Ra would have laughed at the way the group always managed to sit according to their ages if she weren’t feeling so drained of energy.

She caught the tanned leader flashing a comforting smile and returned it before letting out a small laugh and rubbed her temples. “I’m sorry. I wish you guys didn’t have to see that. It must have been awkward, I’m sure.”

“That’s okay. Stuff like this is bound to happen. It’s just another way of getting to know you girls,” Hongbin reassured and beamed at her, his eyes turning into happy crescents and soft dimples making an appearance. A smile automatically made its way across Sa Ra’s face and she felt her spirits lift a tad bit.

“But, noona, will you guys be okay? What happened before seemed… intense,” the mangnae blinked, looking unintentionally cute as he did so. It reminded her of Hee Na from this morning.

Sa Ra heaved a sigh before nodding in the affirmative. “We’ll be fine. We’ve had worse fallouts but managed to patch things up pretty quick. If that were not possible, then we’d never be able to come this far. We’ll talk it out tonight after dinner and things will go back to the way they always were,” she finished with her trademark smile which she knew made anyone’s worry fly away, as her father put it. She was extremely thankful that these six men were so worried for them so it was up to her to them to rest.

“Are you okay?” the younger main vocal asked, eyes wide and concerned, voice sweet as always.

She thought for a while before shaking her head, “Normally, the one who listen to me rant all the time is Hee Na but she isn’t here right now so…” Sa Ra looked away pouting and swinging her legs back and forth like a child.

“Well, I don’t know how good Hee Na is as a listener but maybe you can give us a try? You’ve got twelve ears to rant to anyway. So how about it?” She stared back at the leader who was sporting an encouraging, before looking away and scratching the side of her neck hesitantly.

As much as she wanted to vent out her feelings, she didn’t want them to get to know Hee Na in such a light, seeing as how she was the crux of the problem. But she also knew that if she didn’t find a means of catharsis, it would just blow up later and create a bigger mess than it already was.

“Look, you guys should know that Hee Na is not always like that. Of all the emotions she has control over, she has the least control over her anger. She gets annoyed a lot, yes, but rarely ever angry. She gets the most angry when her pride is hurt and her skills and knowledge is underestimated. Which is what kind of happened today.

When we first opened, about two years or so ago, we decided we’d sell our recipes to other establishments as a way to get some quick cash. One of our first client/employer was the owner of Chloé. The famous pastry house?”

She cocked her head back on mild surprise, watching as each of them shake their head. “Seriously? Not even you?” she addressed incredulously to Ken.

“He munches on candy and sweet bread most of the time. We get cakes and desserts directly from the managers most of the time,” Hongbin drawled, his chin pressed on the edge of the wooden bench, creasing the creamy skin.

“Oh… Well, anyway, the owner asked us for three of Hee Na’s creation that he would buy off of us. Hee Na hates him because all he cares for is profit when all Hee Na cares about is cooking and baking. He never really understood all that she put in when she created each of those dishes. Seeing how talented Hee Na, he asked her to come work for him to which she flatly rejected. He, then, resorted to grossly ‘wooing’, as he called it, into getting her to accept the offer. He still does it, occasionally dropping by creating a nuisance”

She nodded when she saw N pulling a disgusted face and heard Hyuk make a gagging noise at the back of his throat.

“After the last recipe, she finally thought she was going to be rid of him until I got a call this morning saying that he wasn’t happy with the one she sent. He said he wouldn’t pay for any of the recipes if we don’t come up with a new one.

“Now I know that what he is demanding for is not in the contract but I can’t let her efforts go to waste after all that she had to slave through. Which she completely refuses to understand. She says she’d rather not have the money if it means wasting her talent on him one more time. I want people to see how talented she is. How talented we are together. And that won’t happen if we don’t have funds to help us.”

Sa Ra finished with a heavy and slumped her shoulders, eyebrows crinkling in misery. Even as she let it all the words gush out, she still couldn’t figure out what it was that had made her friend so upset. They all sat in silence for a while when a voice spoke that made Sa Ra’s heart skip a beat.

“Sa Ra-sshi, would you give your heart to someone who you knew wouldn’t treat it well?”

Sa Ra sat in a stupor, shocked and delectably overwhelmed as the honey sweet sound drifted out of those plush, pink lips, into her ears and made heart madly patter against her chest. His sharp eyes were warm and compassionate, almost turned upwards in a soft eye smile.

It took a while for her to compose herself and answer but she did, “Of- of course not.”

The stoic main vocal nodded before continuing, “Why did you decide to open up a bistro?”

“I’ve always wanted to have a place of mine where I don’t have to take orders from anyone. Be my own boss. I decided on a bistro because culinary is a one of the few arts where one can use their own style and experiment with different elements and style of food.”

“What if one day you have to sell this place and later you come back and find a shabby ramyun joint in its place? How would you feel?”

“Hey! Don’t diss ramyun joints! They’re… really… nice…,” the loud main vocal trailed off as he shrunk away from the glaring gaze Leo was burning into him. He turned away and petulantly pulled at the sleeves of his T-shirt.

Leo turned back to Sa Ra and repeated, “How would you feel?”

“We-Well, I would definitely feel-” The words stopped short in , choking her as realization dawned on her. Her body crumbled as she buried her face in her hands and leaned forward to rest her forehead on her lap. “Oh, no… No, no, no, no…”

“Now you know how she is feeling,” he sighed in finality, shifting slightly in his seat.

“OH! As expected from my Woonie!” N seized the other in a bone-crushing hug and proceeded to fling his head back and forth. The leader stopped his action when he heard something that might have been a combination between a high-pitched wail and laughter.

The six men stared in fright as Sa Ra’s body silently quaked. The fingers that were once covering her face were now slowly carding through her hair and in a flash, she straightened up, her silky hair flying in an arc and slapping Ravi right in the face.

“I’m such an idiot! Why couldn’t I understand it before?!” she whipped her head around wildly looking at the men, making Hongbin flinch back in fright, afraid of suffering the same fate as the rapper. “And you know what’s worse, she is much more emotionally invested in what she does, so she must be feeling like… like…,”

Suddenly she slapped her hands to face and the sharp smack made N, Hongbin and Ravi wince. Hyuk slapped his hand over his mouth so as to stop himself from bursting out in laughter. Ken simply continued to gawk at the woman in shock, somehow managing to make his nose look bigger and more prominent. “Oh, God… how could I talk to her like that? After all that she had to go through to get here. That was what she was trying to tell me. What kind of a friend am I?!”

Sa Ra let out a pained wail before breaking into sobs.

x------x

Ravi blinked blankly at the unfamiliar ceiling, trying and failing to come up with an appropriate greeting for the hundredth time. Sitting up, he rotated his neck to get rid of the kinks and sighed pulling the sheets up to his chin and burying it in the soft material.

It had been some couple of hours ago when he had left the members and Sa Ra who had just finished weeping like a child. Despite all that happened that morning, the rapper couldn’t shake the feeling of drowsiness and had quietly timidly asked if he could nap for a bit in Sa Ra’s apartment to which the latter replied in the affirmative.

It was only when the door opened that he remembered that the house was not empty. Where would Hee Na go after such a serious row but to the comfort and familiarity of her own home. 

As the door swung open, Ravi, in his experience with disgruntled women, was expecting a flame spewing dragon or the mighty Godzilla itself. However, when he was met with Hee Na’s pleasantly curious face, he felt his cheeks heat up, humiliated that he thought so ill of the other.

The woman had let him in when he had stated his reason for his visit (he thanks the Gods a thousand times for being able to get the words out without stuttering even once) and led him to Su Hyeon and Shin Mi’s bedroom which had a bigger bed and a better aircon.

Nodding in response as Hee Na bid him a good nap, the rapper laid his head on the soft pillows and clocked out within seconds only to awaken a couple hours later to the view of the baby blue ceiling.

The rapper sighed once again and ripped the sheets off of himself and stood up. He gave up on trying to formulate a greeting. It was already public information that the Ravi was shy in front of strangers so who is to blame him if he can’t hold a proper conversation with another person. Besides, there was already someone worse at social interaction than him just beyond the door.

After making the bed and swiping his hand one last time to smoothen the creases on the sheet, Ravi turned around and twisted the door knob and pulled it open. Walking out, he rubbed the remnants of sleep from his and closed the door behind him.

He didn’t have time to look up when a piercing cry rang through the living room, and almost like a chain reaction, it urged an unmanly screech to rip through his own throat. The rapper stumbled back, clutching his chest as he leaned against the closed door and wheezed, “What?! What is… What?! What?! WHAT?!"

By the time his frantic eyes searched for the source of the cry, Hee Na had already doubled over in a fit of cough, having choked on her saliva when she saw the rapper emerge from the bedroom.

Concern etching his man-ish features immediately, he stepped forward, intending to ask her about her wellbeing when the other straightened to face him, face twisted in discomfort, shoulders shaking as the last bouts of cough passed past her covered mouth.

“I’m-I’m sorry. I forgot you were in here,” she apologized letting out a short laugh before one last cough slipped past her lips. All could Ravi could do was laugh back in incredulity. The two almost immediately descended into awkward silence as Ravi shifted his weight from foot to foot. From his periphery, he spied the woman palming her thighs, getting rid of the accumulated sweat in them.

“Um… I really am sorry,” her voice came out softer than when he heard it in the bistro that morning and his head whipped up, ready to dismiss the unneeded apology.

“No, that’s fine! Things tend to past one’s mind, I get it. It has happened to me as well so I know how you feel,” he ended quickly and pursed his thin lips and nodded stiffly.

“And also for this morning…”

“Hey, stuffs happens, man. Besides, Sa Ra already apologized for it.”

“Ah, she did, did she?” the rapper bit his lip as he watched Hee Na’s brows knit together as pain flashed across her face. She bit her lips and absentmindedly drummed her forefinger on the marble countertop.

“You okay?” Ravi inched closer cautiously and took a seat in one of the stools opposite to the kitchen island that extended off the main countertop where the stove was placed.

Hee Na responded a second too late, revealing the contradiction in her words and her feelings. She inhaled and tipped her head back, running her hands over her face before she said, “I’m okay. I’m trying to come up with something to give that guy but I’ve come up with squat.”

She bit her lip placing her hands on her hips and stared intensely at the numerous cookbooks laid open on the countertop. Ravi followed her gaze to the pictures of many tarts, cakes, pies and whatnots on the glossy pages. He tried pronouncing the complicated names but soon gave up.

“And you don’t want to do it because you hate the guy,” Ravi froze, screwing his lips shut biting his lip as the words carelessly slipped out before he could stop them. He wanted to kick himself for his stupidity. Even without glancing up, he could tell that Hee Na’s eyes were bearing into his head. “Sa Ra told us the whole deal. Sorry.”

The ensuing silence was too much to bear and just before Ravi could ramble out something stupid, Hee Na spoke up, “I wish it was just that,” her voice was much nearer to him and he looked up to see that she had taken a seat on another seat on the other side of the island.

“If I hated the man so much, I wouldn’t have given him the other two recipes. What really hurt was that Sa Ra refused to listen to me. If only she listened to me and understood, I would’ve gladly come up with a new creation because I’d be doing it it for her, not him.”

Ravi kept his gaze steady on her, listening to her every word. When she was done, there was that familiar pained look that her face scrunched up into. Slowly, she closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip and sighed through her nose. Ravi felt compelled to say something. Anything.

“I get what you’re feeling,” he started slowly, running his thumbs through stack of pages on the closest cookbook. He paused to make sure he had her full attention before he continued, “When Taekwoonie-hyung and I… When we compose, it’s like we’re taking out part of ourselves and weaving it in between the words. Listening to our songs, thus, becomes a way of knowing us, as individuals, better.

“I had come to realize this only when Taekwoon-hyung and I had started our subunit. While we were practicing for Beautiful Lair, he told me that his songs are a representative of how he would be as a boyfriend. The one who would put his lover before himself, no matter how painful it may be. Always the one who loved more, felt more than the other. He said that if he were to break up with his lover, he would be the only one still stuck in that time when they were still together and in love. And he would mind it.

“I had also come to realize just how precious my compositions were. They were little parts of me, almost like my own children. There was no way I was gonna give it to someone who would appreciate it. There were times when I had to compose for someone and I was so reluctant to give them my work that I write an entire new but worse piece just so I wouldn’t part with the other one.” He let out a short, embarrassed laugh to which Hee Na smiled in return. “So, I guess you can say that I know how you feel.”

Hee Na smiled wider, letting it reach her eyes and laughed softy, genuine and gratuitous. “Yes, yes, I suppose you do,” the clear mirth in her voice made Ravi blush up to his ear and he ducked down to hide it, pretending to examine the pictures in the littered books in front of him.

“But when it comes to making your passion your career, things are not going to be dandy all the time. You won’t get to do what you want all the time. There are times when you have to do things that you don’t really want to. It wasn’t easy for me to give away those dumber composition either because, although I didn’t put a lot of effort in it, they were still mine and part of me. However, I gave it away so that when people listen to my composition, they know who wrote it and that way I can get my name as a rapper and a member of VIXX out into the world. You just have to use these bad moments as a spring board to shoot up into the sky. Land at such a place where you don’t have to ever sell your skill short.”

“I couldn’t agree more, Ravi-sshi-”

“Ravi. Or Wonshik. The honorific just sounds weird, seeing as how we’re the same age.”

Hee Na giggled softly before agreeing, “As I was saying, I couldn’t agree more but the things is, I can’t dumb down a dish. Any slight change and it will ruin the entire dish. What’s more, he takes my recipes and put his own tacky spin to it, adding flavours and textures to it, or even completely deconstructing it to make it look more ‘gourmet’.”

She huffed and pouted at the air in front of her, her chin resting on the balls of her hands and Ravi couldn’t help but be reminded of the mangnae. Is that why he was so ready to console the woman? He made a noise of contemplation, catching her attention and she stared at him, waiting for what he had go to say.

“Well, then I guess you should make something that he absolutely cannot tamper with.”

He looked over to her and gave her a nod finality, taking in the way her brows furrowed and nose scrunched up in confusion. But then, slowly her eyes widened and her jaw slacked, mouth falling agape. Bewilderment seized the rapper as he tried to find the reason for the change in Hee Na’s expression.

If there’s a ghost, kill me now!

Ravi was convinced the girl was in need of psychiatric help when her hands flew to to muffle yet another screech. She jumped off the stool and retreated to the corner of the kitchen, eyes still on him and let another wail rip through . Ravi quickly sneaked a peek behind and heaved a sigh of relief when he found the space devoid of any phantom. He turned around only to freeze when he didn’t Hee Na where he saw her last.

Instead, he found her crouched onto the floor on the other side of the counter, looking up at him, eyes b with manic glee and gratuity.

“That’s it! All I have to do is make something that he won’t ruin! Oh, Ravi, you’re such a genius! You’re awesome!” she beamed up at him and the sheer brilliance of it urged the rapper to return one as well, although, considering how clueless he was about whatever was happening, his smile probably came out looking like a grimace.

Suddenly, just as fast she had transitioned into her manic phase, she stopped grinning, a frown replacing it and she shot up straight. He followed her movements despite himself, neck snapping upwards, now completely scared out of his mind.

“I have to get to work as soon as possible! Research! I need laptop!” she raced past the rapper, making him wince and grabbed her laptop off the coffee table and proceeded to stuff it into her ratty shoulder bag. Just as she got half of it inside, she paused, blinked for a few moments, then shook her head and continued to push her laptop into her bag.

Slinging it over her shoulder, she made her way briskly towards the door. Opening it, she stepped out but stopped short before whipping her head in Ravi’s direction, raven locks making a beautiful arc behind her.

“Kim Wonshik, I may just name my first born after you.”

“Please don’t,” the rapper choked out to which Hee Na chortled.

“Come on, I’ll fix you something to eat at Madeleine, seeing as it is past lunch time already.”

x------x

Sa Ra was wiping the cups and glasses clean, when she heard the door swing open and familiar voice filled the small bistro. She smiled as the six men trudged in and took seats at the bar counter.

“Hey!” she beamed at them. “I wasn’t expecting you guys so soon.”

“We made free time to come here. We were worried.” “Curious” “Bored”

Sa Ra let out a hearty laugh as N glared at the giant mangnae and visual and smote them with the usual neck chop. The two simply sniggered quietly, the hit seemingly not serving its purpose.

“Oh, that’s so sweet! To think that you would be worried,” she cooed, pointing to the leader who flashed her a smile, “curious,” she pointed to Hongbin who smiled his dimpled smile, trying to come off as innocent, “and bored for me,” she pointed to Hyuk who was blinking vacantly into space, completely zoned out.

“Did you guy make up?” the boisterous main asked offhandedly. He didn’t seem all too curious for an answer as he on a humungous lollipop, simultaneously trying to wrestle it away from Leo who wanted a piece of it. Finally he huffed when the candy was wrenched out of his hand only to have it back with a sizeable chunk now in the older vocalist’s mouth which worked on breaking down the mint candy to pieces.

“Oh course, we did. How could we not?” she waved her dismissively and set the dry cups back in their place.

“Where is Hee Na?” Sa Ra turned to rapper who had his fixated on her, trying to ignore the looks he got from his bandmates.

“She went to clean up at home. She’s- Oh, that must be her!” Sa Ra craned her neck at the sound of the door opening for the second time that morning.

“Sa Ra! Make me some tea please!” she heard Hee Na whine as she emerged from the short walkway between the door and the counter. Nico pattered by her side, claws clicking sharply on the floor. The German shepherd made his way to his usual place and plopped his rump down, looking expectantly at his mistress who ruffled his coat in reward.

“Hey!” she piped and flashed a smile at the rapper after spotted him. Making her way behind the counter and towards the kitchen.

“Sup? Did you manage to make it?” the rapper drawled, idly fixing his cap on his head. The stared and looks he got didn’t diminish but were ignored better by the rapper. He flinched and blinked furiously in confusion when the Hee Na’s hands flew to her cheeks and smacked them rather harshly.

“Sorry, I thought I was going fall asleep. I sure did,” she sighed, completely oblivious to the incredulous faces of the six men. “It was so hard though. I had to stay up for two whole nights!” she whined leaning against the steel kitchen counter.

“You wanted to make the paste the traditional way. How could it not have been hard?” Sa Ra scoffed, handing her a cup of freshly brewed green tea. Her statement was further supported by the rapper nodding his head and making a tutting noise.

“So-so what did you make?” Hongbin interjected, looking a bit dumbfounded. He had never pegged on his friend getting so familiar with the one person they had the least contact with.

“It was-” Hee Na stopped short, before her face slowly morphed into a frown. She turned to Sa Ra and asked, “Do we have a few left? We do, don’t we?” And without even waiting for a response, she strode towards the pantry and emerged with a bamboo steamer.

Plopping it on the counter, she opened it carefully, stifling a giggle when six heads craned to see the contents in it.

“Sticky rice cakes?” N cocked his back and furrowed his eyebrows at the chef.

“They’re not just rice cakes. Wait until you get a taste of them,” the rapper drawled, eyeing the leader in mild annoyance. N simply sent him his usual face before picking one out of the box.

“They’re chocolate rice cakes stuffed with dried apricots and walnuts. There really is no prominent taste of chocolate except for a wispy foretaste. The chocolate is mostly for the soft, brownish colour,” Hee Na explained as N tore the rice cake in two and revealed the glossy apricot and pieces of walnut.

The others soon followed suit. Picking the rice cakes up, tearing them open and plopping them into their mouth. Ravi watched smugly from the side and bellowed in laughter when the members’ face as they reacted to the food.

Hongbin was the first. Throwing his body over the counter in ecstasy, hands and legs kicking and flailing around. Anyone passerby would think that the visual might be suffering a seizure.

Hyuk, next to him, followed. He took to slapping the life out of the visual, hands ceaselessly smacking against the other’s sturdy back. Every once in a while, he would inhale sharply only to let it out with a long drawn out sigh.

N shot up at the chef, eyes agleam and sparkling. He pressed his fingertips to his mouth, bouncing in seat and looked around at s, hoping one of them would put into words what he was feeling.

Ken, being the loudest one of them and also the most erted, did not disappoint. With the first bite, he let out the most obscene and loudest moan and his body swayed as his eyes scrunched close in euphoria. The moans didn’t stop or cease in continuity until the rice cake had completely disappeared in his mouth.

Leo silently munched away at the rice cakes, eyes glinting and dazed as a pretty pink flush decorated his pale cheeks. He has already devoured three of the sweet snack by the time the rest of them were done with one.

“That is… This was… You-” Ken gave up on putting words together and resorted to again.

“You did it,” Ravi’s gentle voice caught Hee Na’s attention and she turned to him and smiled, a blush dusting her cheeks. The rapper swelled with the pride as he watched the glee in the chef’s eyes and he cursed himself for not trying to get to know the latter sooner, despite occasional bursts of eccentricity.

“Yes, I did,” she nodded, dumping fists with him with a shared smirk. “And it was all because of you.”

Quirking an eyebrow, he asked, “But I still don’t know what I did.”

“It seems that you telling her to do something that cannot tampered with is what resulted in the conception of these rice cakes. It is almost impossible to deconstruct it without completely screwing up the flavour, thereby ruining the entire dish,” Sa Ra informed, laying her chin on Hee Na’s shoulder.

“And for that, thank you,” she grinned at the rapper who returned the gesture with a lop sided smile and the two high fived. The interaction was cut short when they turned to the sound of a dull thump.

N was on his feet, his fist on the countertop and a determined look in his eyes, if not partly jealous as well. “I have decided! To make up for how less we know about you guys when it is clearly not the same the other way round,” he jabbed a finger at Hee Na’s face, making the her head back in surprise, “We will have a Q and A session! What better way to get to know you ladies. I’m such a genius.”