giftwrapped idiots

written by lglms

a. cue: chanyeol a.k.a. the beta wolf;

Being Park Chanyeol is hard— and quite enjoyable at times, too— if you ask him because not only is he ing gorgeous with an oozing appeal that could leave girls drooling like a herd of pugs, nope; he is also, no doubt, stinking rich and popular. In fact, you can call him the Alpha Male... if, and only if, you don't know or recognize Oh Sehun.

Because— you— Sehun's the God, he's just the sidekick!

No matter, though, he would muse. Who cares if he's second on the rank? He still has the ladies bending over desks for him when he wants to, has them willingly blow his more-than-average when he feels like it.

So, somehow, being Park Chanyeol is great, too. Oh, yes, it is.

However, it only really is if you disregard the fact that the Alpha male is a who couldn't stop obsessessing over the school swot and— my, my— and who better be the audience but Park Chanyeol, himself?— and, and—

Well, no. It's not so great. At all.

b. cue: sehun a.k.a. the one who needs to clean his ;

Oh Sehun, to him, is a brother.

They practically watched each other grow up, bathe together, snuck cookies from cookie jars that are prohibited from them and compared each other's sizes annually— a ritual they're now used to.

And, in his honest opinion, Sehun's an arrogant git. He's obnoxious, snobby and the type who likes to complain about even the smallest of things. He bathes himself with the obvious attention that people award him, sneering and scowling at the things that displeases him, and wants to be always on top.

Chanyeol is very fond of him, that's for sure, because both growing up with no siblings, they both found the brother they wanted but never had. They share each other's secrets and opinions, and lends a hand at problems.

The downside of it, however, is dealing with Sehun's growing obsession of Jung Soojung— and never seeming to just shut the up about it.

"Hey, guess what happened?" Sehun asks after climbing up on his veranda, his infamous scowl present.

He's just grabbed a bowl of nachos and salsa downstairs so Chanyeol is displeased to realize that there's a tirade coming on. Bloody . "What?" he drawls with a frown, staring at his food with longing.

"Soojung ing ran my foot over!" Sehun exclaims, his voice high. "That ."

"Uh huh," he can only reply, at the first taste of the dip.

"And did you see what she's wearing today?" he asks again, pacing in front of him as he slouches at the bean bag, busy on eating.

"Didn't check."

"Well, you should've," Sehun answers, his jaw jutting out, "because it's ing horrendous. It looked like it was made by a blind Sunday school teacher."

"Right," he murmurs, dipping another nacho and placing it on the flat of his tongue.

Sehun grumbles. "And that hair— Jesus ing Christ! Her hair!"

"What of it?"

"It looks like Mr. Lee's chest hair, that's what!" he cries out, throwing his hands up and sputtering something intellegible. "Anymore flip of that and I'll shave it off her."

"Sure, you will," Chanyeol absentmindedly says back, nodding as well. "But you gotta admit, she's pretty."

Of course, she is, and Chanyeol knows that Sehun knows that; then again, Sehun has a for a brain. He'd rather spend the night off running around the neighborhood than admit that he likes the girl. "I—yeah," he mumbles rather thoughtfully, but clears his throat and jabs once more, "whatever. Anyway, how was your day?"

At this, Chanyeol perks up, actually getting thrilled to tell him that—

"Wait! Hold the up, mate. I just remembered something." He watches as Sehun contemplates, his grin falling into a frown— and steadily becoming a frown at what his friend says next: "Right! And, have you seen her talking to Jongin? That ing wench, thinking she's so gorgeous and smart with—"

Yep. Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

Sehun, to him, is also a bloody ing fool.

c. cue: soojung a.k.a. sehun's first wank;

Librarian, that's what people call her. The Librarian.

She has chestnut hair, she has chocolate-brown eyes, she has pouty lips and a brain that could— or better yet, continues to— par the greatness that is Oh Sehun, the latter being the reason why the said male doesn't like her.

Some other examples would probably be because of her righteousness, snarkiness and bravery. She doesn't back down from the insults that Sehun throws her, in fact, she triples the intensity of her comebacks that would often leave him flustered in humiliation, his jaw slack and hands curling into fists. Often times, however, she gives him the cold shoulders, knowing that it annoys him even more because he feels insulted for being ignored, a feat that either makes him even more irrational and childish: jabbing more insults by questioning her mentality or her appeal— or, well, the lack there of, as Sehun says.

Either way, no matter what Sehun does, it is pretty evident to Chanyeol that his friend is having a liking to the school swot. It's not that hard to put two and two together, anyway.

He wasn't stupid enough to not notice the lingering looks Sehun and Soojung would steal at each other, the that creeps between them everytime they argue until their throats are raw, nor the smiles they would share when they thought that nobody was looking. Oh, and the "accidental" brushes and insults? Feh. To him, it was more of an ongoing .

He's got to admit, though, watching it play out for years is too ing troublesome that he felt like pulling his hair out in frustration.

Why can't those two just ing shag like rabbits on heat?! It's not like anyone would judge!

"Chanyeol."

Speak of the devil. "Why, Soojung, it's nice to have been graced by your presence," he cooes, a little annoyed as he watches the girl who was sitting on his lap a moment ago walk away from them. "How may I help you, your Holyness?"

She is still watching the skimpy clad girl descend away from them, a frown plastering on her lips, before saying, "Can I ask you a favor?" She looks back down at him, her hands on her hips and her posture oozing with unperturbed swottiness.

"It's not like I have any other choice," he replies, shrugging nonchalantly and ignoring the glare that she gives him. "Well? Do ask away."

Soojung takes a deep breath. "It's about your pathetic excuse of a friend."

"Why am I not surprised?" he snorts, shaking his head and leaning his elbows at the table in front of him, chin in his knuckles. "But, oh, do tell."

Once again, she ignores his mockery, and settles with, "Tell him to stay away from me," as if it's too ing easy, making him almost laugh on his spot.

But, he doesn't; she is, after all, their Student President. "I'm beginning to doubt your intelligence, Ms. Jung," is what he replies, instead, eyes fluttering repeatedly, "because as far as anyone has looked into it, I have no control of Sehun. I am merely his friend, as you've put it."

She grits her teeth. "I don't have time for your—"

He cuts her off with a chuckle. "But so am I— have time, I mean." Chanyeol sighs after, leaning up to her as she stands rigid at their sudden proximity. "You see, Ms. President, I'm already bombarded with an earful from Sehun, so, if you're as generous as I've hoped you are, be a darling and not ask me about disciplining my friend."

Soojung blinks. "Earful of what?"

His audacity to chuckle had Soojung frowning even deeper. "You'll be surprised of what you'll learn."

Her face turns into the shade of puce. "Quit stalling, Chanyeol! I don't have time for this nor time for him. Just relay him my message."

"I'm not stalling, per se." He shakes his head, feigning disappointment. "And if you're affected of his existence, why not just tell him about it personally than actually waste time asking me a favor that anyone would likely pass up?"

Having seen her walk away from him, seething, would probably be the cherry on top of his week.

d. almost— but not quite;

For Soojung to learn his friend's deal or not, devouring Sehun's continous complaints is starting to grate his patience— and interrupt what little sleep he could get.

"Chanyeol!"

"What the—" he shoots up in bed, grabbing the baseball bat that is leaning on the side of his bed, and is about to swing it towards the intruder just as the light flicks on. Momentarily becoming blind, he loses his grip on the metal to rub his eyes, letting out another curse.

Someone in front of him snorts. "It's me, you . No need to get violent."

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