f i n a l



 

 

She is beautiful.

Taehyung has seen his fair share of pretty women over the years—whether it be on men’s magazines or on television—but he is sure that the petite woman who walks into his hospital wing is the most beautiful woman he has ever laid his eyes on. Her eyes are large, and her irises are the prettiest shade of brown he’s seen. Her skin is like milk, and her cheeks are a rosy pink. Her nose is cute, like a button, and Taehyung feels his heartbeat accelerate. 

 

She looks nervous and shy, taking an uncertain step into the door, gazing fleetingly at each patient until her eyes land on him. Her face lights up a bit, a small smile forming on her pink lips as she walks towards him. In her hand she’s carrying something that looks like a lunch box, which is pastel blue and petite, just like her. 

 

She sets the lunch box down by his bedside table, and sits herself down on a stool. She folds her hands neatly on her lap, and doesn’t say a word for a minute or two. He notices how pale her ivory skin is. “… May I help you?” Taehyung finally asks, after what seems like eternity.

 

The woman snaps her head up, her eyes wide like that of a startled bunny, and Taehyung feels a smile creeping up on his lips. But it soon fades away when Taehyung realizes that the woman’s eyes are b with tears. 

 

Taehyung feels quite perplexed at those tears welling in the woman’s beautiful eyes, and doesn’t know how to react as she wipes them away roughly with her sleeve. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—I didn’t want to leave a horrible impression.” The woman stammers. “I’m your new caretaker, Bae Joohyun.” 

 

“Caretaker? I never requested for one.” Taehyung frowns. He has no guardian—his parents passed away when he was eighteen, and his siblings are still in middle school. He distinctly remembers telling the hospital that he has no need for someone to help him eat, dress, and wash.

 

The woman seems put off by his frown, but she gives him a small smile. “I know you won’t remember, but I’m a good friend of yours. Your siblings asked me to help you, because they couldn’t make it because of school.” 

 

Taehyung suddenly feels like when he realizes that she is one of the few people he cannot remember after his accident. Hell, he even remembers the cashier at the seven-eleven across his old home and the old security officer who always ate salt ramen for lunch. He feels a pang of guilt when he sees how hurt she looks, and tells himself not to be a . “I’m sorry.” 

 

“Don’t be. There’s no need to feel guilty about it.” Joohyun pulls a tight smile. “I prepared a lunch for you to start off the day—it’s japchae, fried chicken, rice and egg rolls. I’ll leave my number with you—just text me if you need anything,” 

 

Taehyung is surprised—Joohyun must have known him very well, as the lunch she prepared contains all of his favorite foods. He reaches for the lunchbox as Joohyun stands up, and Taehyung realizes she’s about to leave.

 

“Wait.” His voice comes out like a hoarse crackle, and Taehyung’s face reddens. Joohyun suppresses a little giggle, and Taehyung feels his ears heaten up. “Um, I’d like to talk a bit. You know, about stuff before this,” Taehyung points to his head, “happened.”

 

Joohyun complies and sits herself down on the stool as Taehyung opens his lunchbox. The japchae looks delicious, and Taehyung realizes that Joohyun hasn’t included any carrots, his one pet peeve when it comes to food. “No carrots.” 

 

It’s more of a statement than a question, but Joohyun answers anyway. “You hate carrots.”

 

It’s more of a statement than an answer.. 

 

“Yeah…” Taehyung murmurs, unable to take his eyes off of her.  

 

After he scarfs down the delicious meal, he faces Joohyun, who has patiently been waiting for him to finish. “Thank you. It was amazing.” 

 

“No problem.” Joohyun smiles. “Feel free to ask me for anything.” 

 

“So,” Taehyung starts, trying to break the ice. “What sort of work do you do?” 

 

“I own a café.” Joohyun replies, fiddling with her fingers. “It’s not too far from here, actually. It’s on the other side of the main road.” 

 

Taehyung nods. There’s something tugging at the back of his mind, and he remembers a name— albeit fleetingly, but he still remembers it. “Is it called the Velvet Café by any chance?” 

 

Joohyun’s eyes widen. “Yes. How did you know?”

 

“I’m not sure. I just vaguely remember really liking the place.” Taehyung confesses. Joohyun nods with a lop-sided smile, but to Taehyung, she seems defeated. 

 

“If you have the time, you should definitely visit.” Joohyun says while keeping her head down. Her voice is a mere tremor and Taehyung is scared that she might break. 

 

Taehyung doesn’t know why he does it, but he instinctively reaches over and grabs her hand, massaging it with his thumb gently. Joohyun freezes up, and stiffly looks up at him, slightly ajar. Taehyung doesn’t know why, but he feels secure holding her hand, which is ridiculous because he is the one comforting her. He can feel her hand tremble, but her small hand is warm and he continues to massage it gently.

 

They sit like that quietly for a few minutes, until Joohyun withdraws her hand carefully from his grip. “Is there anything you want to talk about, before your accident.” Her words are heavy, like lead. 

 

“Well, I’m wondering how close we were.” Taehyung admits straightforwardly. 

 

Joohyun’s posture is tense, and for a while she does not answer. She merely keeps her back straight and gazes at the floor. Taehyung waits for her. 

 

“I guess you could say we were pretty close.” Joohyun finally admits. “We did a lot of stuff together. Watch movies, eat out, go drinking, play video games, hang out over the holidays with some other friends. Just normal friend stuff, I guess.” 

 

Taehyung remembers hanging out with a lot of girls in the past—girls are much more easier to befriend than guys. Jungkook tells him that it’s his good-looking face (Jungkook grumbles that he hates to admit it) that attracts all the attention, but Taehyung doesn’t mind. Friends are fun. “Sounds like we had a blast.”

Joohyun looks wistful, her eyes staring out into the distance, focusing on something that Taehyung knows is something he had taken part in, but can’t remember. 

 

Taehyung suddenly feels awful. 

 

 

 

 

“Say, what type of person was I?” Taehyung asks suddenly, as Joohyun dresses him in a new hospital gown. It’s been a few days since Joohyun has been taking care of him, but they’ve never really delved into the past. 

 

The various people who visited him—Jungkook, Namjoon, Jimin, Seokjin, Hoseok, Yoongi, Wheein, Hwasa, Soo Jung, Jinri, Yuju, Shinbi, Baekhyun, Bogum… they all tell him who he was. A police officer who trained to become a marine. He’s apparently already a marine captain, too. But they don’t tell him what his personality and traits were. Or are. It feels strange using the present tense for the time period before his accident.

 

Joohyun thinks for a few seconds. “You are a multi-faceted, amazing person who knows how to cheer people up and say all the right things. You’re a great singer, a talented dancer, and always hard-working and sacrificing for others.” 

 

 

 

 

 

When Joohyun comes back the next week, the nurse in charge of Taehyung’s daily medications is with him, joking about a new Kpop group with terrible fashion. Her name is Sujeong, and Taehyung enjoys her company. She’s funny and understanding, two qualities that he has always found important in a person. 

 

Joohyun awkwardly bows to Sujeong, while the nurse merely smiles back, before giving Taehyung a fist bump and then leaving. “You two must be very close.” Joohyun curtly comments with an almost undetectable frown, and for some odd reason, Taehyung enjoys it. 

 

“I mean, she sees my when she quite literally punches a syringe into my skin everyday. Would be strange if we didn’t start talking.” Taehyung shrugs. Joohyun rolls her eyes, but Taehyung can tell that she’s loosened up a lot more than the first time around. 

 

She has the same cute lunch box with her, but she has brought another bag of goods with her. Taehyung gingerly opens the bag, and brightens up when he recognizes the peanut butter chocolate fudge and ice chocolate drink. “Isn’t this Seungwan’s special? The girl at the counter?” 

 

He catches himself too late—in his excitement, he forgets that he still hasn’t remembered Joohyun. 

 

“Yes.” Joohyun stoically replies. “Yes, it is.” 

 

Taehyung tries to cheer her up, thinking of ways to tell her that the only reason why he remembers Seungwan is purely because of the chocolate fudge desert. He truly doesn’t remember anything else about her. And as he ponders whether he should reach out and grab her hand again, he notices the ring on her finger. 

 

 

 

 

“Why?” Joohyun is hysterically sobbing against Seulgi as the younger girl tries to console the older, but not even Seulgi’s kind, soft words are enough to keep her calm. The Café is past business hours, but the four girls part-time working at the café stay for Joohyun’s sake. 

 

Seungwan looks down guiltily, while Yeri is simply lost. 

 

“Why can’t he remember me? Out of all the possible people he could ever forget, why did it have to be me?” Joohyun’s cheeks are stained with the tears that brim from her eyes. The tip of her nose is red, and her hair—which she always kept combed and tidy—is a complete mess. 

 

Joohyun takes her left hand—the one with her simple, yet beautiful engagement ring—and holds it to her chest. Soon, her cries become soundless and she emits a pitiful, dying wail. She slumps to the ground, and the girls struggle to help her up. 

 

Joohyun is broken. 

 

And all the king’s horses and all the king’s men, can’t ever put her back together again. 

 

 

 

Taehyung decides that his rash, compromising actions with Joohyun are completely unacceptable. If they were good friends, they should remain so, but Taehyung should not encroach upon Joohyun’s romantic relationship. When Joohyun enters Taehyung’s private hospital room (he’s been newly relocated), this time with a sandwich set from the Café, Taehyung still can’t keep the smile off of his face.

 

Her hair has been dyed a light brown, styled into a loose, high pony tail that accentuates her cat-like featuresa. Joohyun’s blue, fuzzy sweater looks comfortable, but Taehyung is not okay with the shortness of her checkered skirt. Taehyung forgets his earlier promise to himself and immediately begins chastising Joohyun. “What is your skirt?”

 

“… A skirt?”

 

“No, I’m serious, what is this? This could be substituted for shorts, or goddamn underwear.” Taehyung growls under his breath. He sits up from his bed, takes Joohyun’s jacket, and puts it around her waist, completely covering her back. 

 

He’s satisfied, until he realizes that he has his arms encircling around her. He can feel her breath against his collar bone, and when he looks down at her and his eyes meet hers, he can feel something. 

 

A little zing. A little shiver. A little spark.

 

Taehyung wishes he could have Joohyun in his arms for the rest of the day, but he reluctantly lets go. He fails to notice the look of disappointment on Joohyun’s face, and hastily sits back down on his bed. He does notice, however, the ring on her finger once more.

 

Taehyung doesn’t have the courage to ask who gave her the ring.

 

 

 

 

Sujeong hands him a can of iced coffee. Taehyung takes it good-naturedly, and takes a sip. The cold drink soothes his throat. “How’s the caretaker one-on-one going?” Sujeong asks. 

 

“It’s great. She must have been a really close friend of mine, because she knows all of my pet peeves.” Taehyung replies, before setting the can down on his nightstand. “She’s also a really meticulous person, so she doesn’t let things slide by easily.” 

 

Sujeong laughs. “That sounds amazing, really.” 

 

Taehyung looks up at her, and gulps. He needs the answer to this question, now. “Say, Sujeong. Do you know who she is?” 

 

“Bae Joohyun, café owner, your caretaker—“

 

“No, I mean, to me. What was her relationship to me? Was it really just friendship?” Taehyung asks. 

 

Sujeong shrugs. “I don’t know. All I know is that she’s going to be married, soon.”

 

Taehyung’s heart falls with a dull thud. It hurts, and his spirits feel dampened all over. “… How do you know?”

 

“I’m just assuming from the ring on her finger.” Sujeong says, but Taehyung suspects she knows more. 

 

After that, Sujeong doesn’t answer any questions about Joohyun. Instead, she avoids them completely and turns prickly at the mention of Joohyun. After a few days, Taehyung gives up asking.

 

 

 

 

The doctor tells her not to tell Taehyung of her identity. He says that Taehyung has forgotten her identity completely, and breaking to him that she is his fiancé who he cannot remember would end up breaking him and push him off the edge. 

 

Joohyun complies.

 

 

 

 

The next time Joohyun visits, she brings a bunch of flowers with her, all contained in a vase in an extremely fresh state. Taehyung is feeling much better now, and has less problems remembering things. But he still can’t remember Joohyun.

 

Joohyun, on the other hand, seems fatigued. The bags under her eyes are growing darker, and she bruises at the slightest of things. 

 

Taehyung doesn’t want her to be his caretaker anymore. He wants her to rest.

 

Joohyun refuses. 

 

 

 

 

“What are these flowers?” Taehyung asks one day, when he notices one has begun wilting.

“They’re forget-me-nots.” Joohyun answers, as she helps him with his IV chord. “They’re found on the banks of rivers—I bought some because they were so pretty.” 

 

Taehyung smiles at that, and he looks at her. “Appropriate. I won’t ever forget you.” 

 

“Maybe not. But you certainly won’t remember me.”  Joohyun answers instead. Her voice isn’t bitter, just lifeless.

 

Taehyung is afraid because it might be true.

 

 

 

 

Taehyung wants to watch a movie with Joohyun. Joohyun complies, and brings an array of DVDs with her the next time she visits. Taehyung flits through them with Joohyun excitedly: Pirates of the Caribbean, The Fault in Our Stars, Paper Towns, American Ultra, The Breakfast Club, and Sunny. 

 

Taehyung’s always been a freak for two genres: mushy movies, or hard-core action. Taehyung wants to watch Paper Towns. Joohyun admits that she prefers The Fault in Our Stars out of all the John Green books she’s read, but Taehyung objects. “It’s a complete tragedy. Doesn’t it make you sad?”

“Maybe their deaths at the end make it a bit Romeo-and-Juliet-esque. But it’s the confirmation of their love before they die, that Augustus makes Hazel feel like any other teenager and worth something in the world despite her cancer, that makes this story beautiful to me.”

 

“But their cancer tore them apart.” 

 

“But they knew their love for each other.” Joohyun replies, her voice level. “And Paper Towns isn’t exactly a successful love story either. It’s an angsty teenage movie about how a boy who perceives a girl the way he wants to—as a perfect myth. He assumes the girl suddenly feels attracted to him and basically stalks her across the East Coast. Hardly romantic, if you ask me.” 

 

“It’s devotion.” Taehyung protests, but Joohyun remains unconvinced.

 

The two end up watching American Ultra. Taehyung finds it ridiculous that Mike can’t remember that Phoebe cared for and loved him even before he lost his memories during the Ultra program. He vows not to let any woman he falls in love with experience the same thing. He vows not to forget Joohyun. 

 

 

 

 

The flowers are wilting away, and there are only two healthy ones left. Joohyun has brought a photo of Taehyung back when he was a marine, smiling confidently in his white uniform. “I thought you’d like it. You always said that you thought you looked best in your uniform.” Joohyun smiles. 

 

Taehyung realizes that he doesn’t care what his old self thought of Joohyun anymore—he loves her in the present. But he knows his love is unrequited, the ring on her finger is a clear reminder of it. 

 

So he decides to build up the courage to ask her. It’s his way of accepting his love for her, and letting go. “Joohyun. Are you in a relationship right now?”

Joohyun looks startled at the question, and looks at him with those wide bunny eyes. “… Yes.” 

 

“Oh.”

 

“He’s not by my side anymore, though.”

 

“… Oh.” 

 

“He left a long time ago, even when he told me he’d be by my side, remembering my love for him forever. But he’s gone now.” 

 

“I just wish, before the autumn fades and the flowers wilt away, that he’ll come back and tell me that he loves me.” Joohyun whispers weakly. 

 

 

 

 

The next week, Joohyun doesn’t show up. 

 

The doctors tell him that she’s been diagnosed with potent cancer in its late stage. 

 

Taehyung remembers. 

 

Bae Joohyun—the woman who he always visited when he was off duty for the holidays, the woman who always smiled at his cheesiest jokes, the woman who he declared his delicate, beautiful flower the day he gifted her the ring on her finger. 

 

The last petal of the wilting forget-me-not falls lifelessly to the floor, and the last flower wilts away. 

 

 

 

Sooyoung is unconsolable at the funeral. Yeri and Jungkook hold each other dearly, with the latter holding the girl in his embrace as her wet tears stain his black suit. Seulgi and Seungwan each leave a white flower on the altar, next to a bouquet of fresh forget-me-nots.

 

 

 

Taehyung reads the note again. 

 

Dear Taehyung,

 

The doctors advised me not to break it to you. They told me you were too fragile when I began taking care of you. I realized they were right. A kind, amazing man like you would surely break by the revelation that he could not recognize his own fiancé. The guilt would eat away at you. Do you remember when you asked me what type of person you were in the past? 

Taehyung, you’ve been a policeman, you’ve been a marine, and you’ve most certainly been a dream. I don’t need you to remember me anymore—I just want you to remember the love I felt for you. I want you to remember how loved you were, and how much you meant to me. 

 

Taehyung cries. He didn't kept his promise. By the time he remembered her, she had already wilted away.


a/n: went on an angst spree and this is what i came up with.
im sorry guys
this is just me rambling and being sad.