He was hurt. He was hurt and everything was his fault. He didn’t mean to, but he should have known the elder’s limits. He should have helped him instead of barking orders.

Everyone had been a bit stressed while practicing for Gayo Daejun, but it seemed like Jimin was the one with the most stress. He would be oversensitive, always lashing out at someone and then regret it right after but not apologizing for his irritation was still clear. He would only let out a big tensed sigh and return to what he was doing, leaving s a bit shocked.

This made his lover – Namjoon – worried over the younger. He tried to get him to talk when they were alone (which happened once every blue moon), but the younger wouldn’t budge. He would wave a hand in the air and give a shake of his head, implying that he was ‘fine’ when everyone knew he obviously wasn’t. This led to the older getting fed up over the smaller male’s behavior. He understood that it was hard to practice to some new choreography on a short notice, but the orange haired male wasn’t alone in this, everyone felt exactly the same as him. He shouldn’t yell at anyone when they were already on the edge, everyone were shocked when he even yelled at Yoongi. 

It had been a grueling dance practice with new moves and new mistakes, a heavy sheen of sweat apparent on their bodies when Jimin had found someone to lash out at. The older had practically collapsed down as soon as they got a break but the younger hadn’t been satisfied with that and reprimanded the mint haired male about being too lazy, even though everyone in the room knew that he second oldest had been at the studio until dawn. The small male had such a fire in his eyes and words were sharp, the older could do nothing but gape at him, shocked about the other’s attitude.

That was when Namjoon had enough. He grabbed Jimin by the arm as he pulled the shorter male with him out towards the hallway. The door slammed behind them as he pushed Jimin against the wall and demanded and explanation as to why he behaved like this. All he got in return was a snort and a “I’m sorry for not wanting us to embarrass ourselves in front of everyone.” Namjoon had been taken aback by his sentence but controlled his feelings so he wouldn’t say something he’d regret afterwards.

“So you think that we’re not good enough? Is that what you’re saying?”

The younger avoided his eyes and ran a hand through his already messy hair.

“That’s not what I said.”

“But you meant it.”

When he got no response, Namjoon let out a heavy breath and pulled back the pink strands that wouldn’t stay out of his face. He shook his head, disappointed in his boyfriend. He’d never thought that Jimin would feel like this over his own group.

“Just because you’re embarrassed of us doesn’t mean that you should make everyone feel bad.”

And with that he walked right in to the dance studio, ignoring the calls of his name and yells about him misunderstanding everything.

That was yesterday and Jimin refused to walk back in, to embarrassed and sad to make an appearance. Yesterday was bad but today was worse. God, Jimin really regretted it this time. 

Everyone was practicing a hard move, careful not to make a mistake as to not get the orange haired male’s wrath on them. Everyone had mastered the move but Namjoon. He couldn’t concentrate, not after yesterdays events, he just wasn’t in his right mind. Jimin had become more and more frustrated when he saw that Namjoon just couldn’t get the technique to get the dance move right. He let out an angry growl and yelled at the older to get it together, formalities long forgotten. He had yelled and yelled until he pushed the older to his limit. He had barked at him to do the dance move accurately and with a lot more power this time around, and it ended badly. Really bad. 

Namjoon had stepped wrong on his foot and twisted it, immediately falling down to the floor at the immense pain that went through his body. He let out a pained groan and desperately held his ankle as the members flocked around him, inspecting the damage.

Everyone but Jimin. He froze in shock. He couldn’t move and his heart dropped to his stomach. His breath came out labored, and eyes stinging with tears. He had caused this. It was his fault. His brows furrowed as panic and worry painted over his features. He could see some of the members giving him disappointed and angry looks. All he could do was whimper and turn away from the scene.

What did he do now? What will happen with Namjoon?

It wasn’t until he heard the manager telling everyone that he would help their leader to the hospital that his body seemed to start moving. He immediately turned around and begged to come with them, he wouldn’t take no as an answer. He begged and yelled (something he seemed to do a lot lately) until finally, their manager relented and gave him the permission to come with them. He immediately ran to the van as Namjoon was being helped by the oldest.

Jimin turned towards his lover as soon as he was in the car and apologized. The petite male didn’t seem to hear anything over his loud beating heart and over his cries. Tears were freely running down his pink tinted cheeks as he grabbed Namjoon and kept apologizing over and over again. He only panicked further when the older let out a pained hiss, a groan quickly following as Jimin had accidentally grabbed the injured ankle. The manager tried to calm him down so he didn’t cause anymore trouble, but it seemed like Jimin was too far gone.

He was now in the waiting room, worriedly gnawing on his bottom lip as he kept his head down, hands curled up into small fists on his lap. It was his fault Namjoon was hurt. His head kept repeating this sentence over and over again, slowly bringing him into madness. He was restless, his right leg wouldn’t stop bouncing up and down in nervousness as he could do nothing but wait. 

Their manager was right next to him, his large hand like a heavy weight on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. He kept murmuring soothing sentences to the younger but Jimin didn’t hear them. He tuned everything out as he was in his own dark world as he hoped that the injury was nothing big, but his mind seemed to like playing tricks on him as he couldn’t help but imagine his lover in huge amounts of pain- what if something was broken? What if he would have problem with walking his whole life onwards from now? How would Jimin live with the guilt knowing it was him who caused this?

He shook his head for the nth time that evening, trying to get the scary thoughts out of his head. He tried thinking happy and positive thoughts but it did little to no help. He looked up at the ceiling as he let out a frustrated sigh. Why is it taking so long?

Suddenly, a doctor cam towards them and called out the older’s name. Their manager sprung up to find out about Namjoon’s situation. Jimin didn’t dare move from his spot, he didn’t want to hear any bad news if the doctor had any.

He gave a confused tilt of his head, nervous hope filling his heart as he saw the manager’s shoulders slump down in relief as he gave a nod of his head. He waited patiently as the doctor left and for the manager to stand in front of him before he asked the older about the leader. 

“He has a sprained ankle. Not too much damage, and he will be fine and walk perfectly well in a few weeks or so.” 

Jimin let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and asked for the older’s room number. He ran towards the room as soon as he got his answer and practically slammed into the door to get into the room, and there he was. He was awake and fine, he was smiling slightly but most of all he was fine.

Jimin let out a choked whimper as he scrambled to the older’s side and almost suffocated him in the hug that he gave the taller.

Again, he couldn’t stop saying sorry but slowly calmed down as he felt a soothing large hand on his back, drawing patterns and the low murmur of  'It’s okay, i’m fine,’ over and over again.

He drew back and gave a kiss to the older’s lips, murmuring a last apology against them before giving the older some space. 

He leaned in to hand that was caressing his cheek and closed his eyes before parting his lips.

“I didn’t mean what I said.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

A laugh.

“I know.”

And a smile.