Xia found Kris sitting in his apartment by himself on the floor after he let her in by telling her the passcode to the front door. It was her first time being at his apartment. His apartment has a gorgeous view of the city – thanks to the floor to ceiling glass windows at one corner of the apartment.

His interior designer really went all out, Xia thought as she walked through the luxurious apartment to get to him, who was sitting on the sofa lined up against one glass wall. Kris was unaware of her presence as he kept staring at the floor. His face remained blank but she couldn’t help think that he looked like an adorable kid who was left alone in the house.

“Kris?” she stood in front of him and whispered, quite unsure of what she was supposed to do.

He looked up at her after breaking eye contact from the staring contest with the floor, “Xia,” he spoke in a voice just above a whisper and his shoulders rose as he took in deep breath. His hand reached out to grasp hers.

“Are you all right?”

He smiled, “I'm not sure.”

She sat down beside him. Of all the time she had known him ever since he walked through her garden’s gate, he had always been someone who is closed off. It is true that he was the one who tried to initiate the relationship, but deep down, she knew that he never tells someone everything about himself, maybe his own mother will know everything about him but she couldn’t tell anything since she has never met the woman apart from a few times she heard about her from him.

“Tell me,” she gripped his hand, “I’m all ears – not as your lawyer but also a girlfriend.”

“I feel so conflicted,” he muttered, “what if the kid is mine?”

He took in a deep breath.

“Everyone will hate me. It was never my intention,” his eyes were transfixed on the ground as he spoke.

“Why do you care?”

“It’ll upset the people who supported me wholeheartedly,” he sighed, “they have always thought I am such a good guy but…” his voice tailed off and didn’t continue.

She held onto his hand, tighter this time, “You know, I think it’s best to leave everything up to the higher powers.”

“Higher powers?”

“Gods,” she laughed, in an attempt to lighten up the mood, and then placed her arms around his shoulders, hoping that it would give him a sense of hope, “Don’t worry,” she pulled him in closer, placing his head on her shoulder and patting his head, “everything will be fine.” She planted a soft kiss onto his head, landing herself amongst the tuft of hair.

~

The next day, Xia stood in the maternity ward of the hospital, in front of a glass wall separating her and Kris from the rows and rows of babies in blankets in their little incubators, all swaddled in either pink or blue fleece blankets.

“Which baby are you looking for?” one of the nurses asked a helpful question.

“Oh!” Xia stammered as she tried to give an answer. Kris cut in and spoke his ex-girlfriend’s name.

The helpful nurse smiled and informed them that they could not come in contact with the baby since the child was premature, however it was possible for her to show the baby’s incubator to them. She walked back into the room and stood beside an incubator, where the baby was swathed in a blue blanket. It was a boy.

Xia was staring at the baby for a long time until she felt a firm hold on her right hand. She turned to her right and saw Kris doing the same thing as her, staring at the baby. “That could be my son…” he asked in a shaken whisper, “right?” She tightened his hold, trying to send comfort through telepathic messages. She tried to come up with something to comfort him but nothing sounded right.

Meanwhile, she caught sight of a small crowd in the corner – it was a small crowd of news reporter, scurrying towards them with their camera and microphones. Xia immediately tugged Kris’s hand. He turned to look at her in a dazed expression, she then dashed away from the glass wall, trying to reach the nearest escape she could possibly find.

Once she was sure she was out of the reporters’ sight, in the escape staircase area of the hospital, Xia heaved a sigh as she waited for the reporters to walk past them.

It really was not easy being his lawyer, and his secret girlfriend.

~

“When is the DNA test result coming out?” Zitao asked as he flipped through pages and pages of a case file furiously.

The atmosphere in the meeting room was heavy and dramatic. Nobody expected that the baby could turn out to be a premature baby. The arrival of the boy pushed the presentation of documents and the claims that Xia and Zitao team would like to make. Everyone in the team, who are just Xia and Zitao, felt stressed out and tense. They had already consumed a pot of coffee, several nut bars they snuck in, and it was only 11am in the office.

Zitao had already stared at the ceiling in desperation, twice, which was very un-lawyer-like for the slightest bit. Xia was not faring better. She was on verge of collapsing from stress and anxiety. She had not been sleeping well and she had been waking up in the middle of night, scrabbling for something on the bedside table while muttering things related to Kris’ case.

“When’s the court meeting date?” Zitao asked, essentially cutting off Xia’s trail of thought. She was thinking about food, unnecessarily. She looked at him with bleary eyes. Zitao had serious dark circles under his eyes.

Xia took a sip of coffee from the mug beside her, “in two weeks.” Coffee tasted wonderfully refreshing despite the bitter taste.

“When will the kid go through DNA testing?”  

“As soon as the kid is healthy enough. The kid is still in incubator. Mother refused to do any DNA testing until the kid is well enough.”

Zitao huffed, “Fair enough.” He paused for a while. “I am so sick of this case, honestly. It’s seriously going nowhere. All we are doing is increasing the tabloid sales and leveraging ourselves into the media spotlight. I’m so sick of the reporters swarming around us whenever we’re out of the courtroom. We will release a press release, goddammit.”

The sight of Zitao puffing in anger had Xia laughing. It felt so long since she last laughed heartily. “Zitao, everything will be over soon.”

“It’d better be!” Zitao gritted through his teeth, “I’m also getting very annoyed by Kris Wu’s love-struck puppy eyes in the conference room too.”

Xia was shocked at his claim, “He what?”

“Xia, don’t play dumb,” Zitao spoke knowingly, “He fancies you. It’s written all over his face. His eyes are always on you since day 1. He just couldn’t tear his eyes away.” He shook his head as he flipped over a page, “So unprofessional.” Zitao muttered.

Xia could feel that her face was really red. It was unexpected. She thought that this work place romance was discreet but it seemed like that was not the point. Zitao’s claim came as a surprise but Xia decided to not counter it and kept on with her work.

The court date just could not come.

~

It was the court date. Xia woke up early in her room back in her family house. She did not sleep in her city apartment on purpose. Her instincts said that she should sleep back in her family house and have a relaxing drive to the courtroom instead of cooping herself in the city apartment and feel anxious with the ticking seconds.

Aunty Zhao looked at Xia pacing up and down in the kitchen and slightly shook her head. “I saw that,” Xia smiled and muttered as she continued pacing up and down.

“Little Miss Tang,” Aunty Zhao went to grasp her shoulders and guided her towards the dining table, “you have to relax a little. It will turn out fine. You prepared so much for it.”

Xia sighed and agreed with Aunty Zhao as she sat at the table. A bowl of porridge was already waiting for her. “Thank you, Aunty,” she hugged the old woman and inhaled her scent. Aunty Zhao always smelled like food and it always makes her feel happy and content.

“Don’t forget to take the herbal soup I made to calm down your nerves, okay?” Aunty Zhao told her before slipping on her hat and went down to the garden that needed tendering. The thought of the garden made Xia think of Kris immediately. It had been some time since the garden had been tended to ever since Kris left. The grass needed cutting and some of the veggie patches needed weeding. She thought about the worry free times when things were simpler.

When Xia reached the court building, Zitao was already there, frantically barking into his mobile.

“What’s your friend is saying?” Xia asked Zitao, remembering that Zitao said that one of the staff from the laboratory that the baby’s DNA was sent to was someone he knew. So, Xia thought that they could know the result sooner and prepare for things if, even though god forbids, the result turned out to be disadvantageous for them.

Zitao held up his hand and stopped her while he continued his conversation on the phone. A few minutes later – “Unbelievable.” He sighed, “I thought I could rely on the guy I know but as luck may have it, he moved to a different lab to work on forensics.”

“So, we don’t know the answer yet?” Xia questioned as she eyed the entrance door. People had started filing into the building. A lot of people knew that today would probably be the last day that the case was ongoing – media people, fans, curious souls; everyone was there - except Kris.

Zitao shook his head and took a sip from a recyclable cup he was holding. It was probably some strong tea to calm his nerves – a habit of Zitao that Xia had learned. “We’ll have to wait until the judge opens the envelope of the result. It’s very confidential.” He stood beside her and started to murmur things. “Oh no…” he whined, “I don’t like the way the other lawyer is smiling, Xia. He looks way too confident.”

“Zitao,” Xia in a breath to calm her strumming nerves, “let’s just forget about things for now. We did our best,” she heaved out a sigh, “let’s hand over our destinies to the hands of god, or whoever is above us.”

Zitao stared at the direction Xia was staring, “you’re right. We’ll just perform our best in the courtroom. I’ll see you inside, Tang Xia.”

Xia watched Zitao confidently walking into the courtroom. She kept checking her watch as she waited for Kris. ‘Xia can you come down to the underground parking lot?’ Kris sent her a message and Xia immediately hurried downstairs. The trial was about to start and Kris could not afford to be late. It would make him seen in a negative light.

Kris was wearing an all black suit with silver accessories here and there. He kept everything minimal but he still looked smart and put-together. Xia had to hold herself from walking into his arms and slumped against him because she honestly felt tired and exhausted from everything. He smiled feebly, “So, this is it…”

“This is it…”

“Xia, I…” Kris started and reached for her hand. Xia was worried that they were in public space but she was relieved that not many people frequent the underground car park since there are plenty of spaces in the compound above. She accepted his hand and held it in hers. “If things go wrong, you still be by my side, won’t you?”

Xia tried to flash him an encouraging smile, “Even if the world is against you, I’ll still stand by your side,” she squeezed his hand.

This is it. 

~

[Author's monologue:] I know what you'd be thinking, 'Wow. You're such an author who left this story on backburn for weeks.' 

I am back! For now. I'm just kidding. I am back. I kept putting off to update since I felt like my written works had been extremely mediocre. If I am going to let anyone read it, I should give them the best version I come up with, right? 

Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed this update. If you would like to, please leave a comment down below and tell me you liked it. Comments make me write faster. /whispers/ let me know! 

See you around!