3:42AM. Kyungsoo couldn't sleep, the faint tick of his clock echoing through the room as he stared at the ceiling, his gaze going in and out of focus as he tried to shut off his mind. Tried to allow himself to sleep, to get rid of the haunting images and sounds, his swollen eyes unable to cry anymore as he gripped at his sheets. He didn't want to remember anymore, he just wanted to forget.

But to forget, then he'd have to let go. How could he let go? How could he delete their messages from his phone, how could he take each small picture down from his walls, or ignore that empty seat that seemed to scream at him during the school day. How could he do that without betraying Chanyeol's memory? He knew that the older boy would hate him for acting this way, would yell at him to stop torturing himself by opening up their old conversations, but he did so anyway. Taking the small phone from its place beside the bed and turning the screen on, almost wincing as the light shined into his eyes, having been in the dark for too long.  

Within seconds he was able to focus on the picture, feeling his heart throb slightly at the sight of his and Chanyeols faces squished into the small screen, the elders boys large smile making Kyungsoo's eyes water slightly. But he couldn't cry anymore that night, no matter the longing in his chest, but the pain was all the same. To know that Chanyeol wouldn’t smile any more, that he would not cry anymore, or laugh or call out Kyungsoo’s name. To know that his best friend was lost to him, to everyone, for the rest of time.

Biting his lip the boy unlocked the phone, his thumb sliding over the screen as he located the small envelope, tapping it once to open his messages even though he knew he shouldn’t. Knew that it would just cause him pain, that it would bring back that all too familiar feeling of a fist clutching his heart and squeezing tightly.

It didn’t stop him and he scrolled up, higher and higher up, reading the words that had been exchanged between him and the only male he would have ever entrusted his life to.

Yeol: Soo, remember, be there at eight!

Me: Yes, I remember.

Yeol: You better! I can’t wait to see you tonight!
Me: Whatever.
Me: Yeol, where are you?
Me: Hello?
Me: - I just… you better be ok!
Me: You’re really gone… how can you be gone…
Me: I never got to see your play Chanyeol… I wish I had gone to those rehearsals now…

Me: I miss you, school isn’t the same without you.

 Me: He went free… he took you from me and isn’t going to jail… I need you Yeol…

Me: I can’t stop crying Yeol… Why did it have to be you?

The last message had been sent just four hours ago and yet Kyungsoo’s throat began to ache, his sobs being suppressed as his thumbs trembled over the small keyboard, typing a quick message and hitting send, breath shuddering for a moment.

Me: I miss you so much Yeol... I miss your laugh the most...

Kyungsoo shook his head, fist rubbing at his eyes as he turned off his phones screen, throwing it back onto his bed as a harsh sob wracked through his body. Yet, no tears slipping from his eyes, just dry sobs. His body curling in on itself as he tried his best to calm down.
He would never get a reply. Chanyeol would never reply to his messages again, and in only a few weeks his phone would no longer receive them. All Kyungsoo had left was unmoving pictures, a few videos, and the letters that the giant had casually given to him as they passed one another in the halls.
"It's not fair." The boy rasped, grasping his blankets and pulling it over his head as he tried to calm himself. Fingers digging in on his palms before he shot up from his bed.
He had to visit Chanyeol, in the only way he could.
The boy swallowed hard, running his trembling fingers through his hair before forcing his thin body off the bed, missing the warmth immediately after. His legs bare and torso loosely covered with a shirt that his late boyfriend had given him. Honestly Kyungsoo didn't care how he looked, not that he had cared much before, yet it seemed that it had only gone down hill. His hair greasy and a mess, clothes never changed, as he did nothing but lay about in them, and skin sickly white.
It would have concerned his friends if they had bothered to visit him after a while. Yet they had given up. And Kyungsoo didn't blame them.
They were hurting too.
Shaking his head the boy grabbed sweatpants, jerking them on over his boxers before sliding a thick sweatshirt over the t-shirt he was wearing. The warmth being the first thing he had enjoyed in a while.
Yet he didn't focus on it for long, as the moment he adjusted to the warmth he was tugging his sneakers on and taking off, wanting to get out before his mother realized he left his room. He only wanted Yeol.
He didn't want his mothers over used and empty words, or his sisters concerned gaze.
He wanted to be alone with the giant.
A small puff of air slipped past the males lips as he glanced around the street, hesitating when he realized he had left his phone behind before shaking his head and starting on his way down the street. His head hung low as he focused on each step.
One step closer to what was left of Chanyeol.
One step closer to having yet another break down.
Yet he wanted it, needed it. Needed to know it was real.
Because sometimes he almost convinced himself that he'd get another text message.
That Chanyeol would appear at his bed room door, scolding him for shutting himself in for so long.
After all, his squishy boy needed sunlight.
Kyungsoo's lips twitched into a bitter smile, eyes tearing up as he his heel, entering the graveyard that loomed before him.
It was empty, they always were.
Kyungsoo wondered if people ever actually visited their loved ones. Or if he was the only one.
His eyes scanned the headstones, reading the names as he walked towards the one he had memorized. He knew every spot, every chip that they delivery men had caused.
He could repeat the inscription upon it in his sleep, Park Chanyeol, Beloved Son, Brother, and Friend. Lost too soon.
And before he knew it his eyes were reading the exact same lines on a pale gray slab of stone, and he let out a small cry, dropping to his knees as tears flowed freely down his cheeks once more.
Kyungsoo noting in surprise that he seemed to have an endless amount of tears.

A/N
So that's the prologue! Next will be Jongin & Soo
And yeah, haha. I hope you all liked it
Because honestly I wrote most of this last year
And was never satisfied
- virjinki