She remembered how cold her blood ran when she received the call to inform her to head to the hospital immediately, that James got crashed by a door and was in operation. For a second, the image of losing James flashed and she had to hold back her tears as she hailed the cab, silently praying for the man’s safety. The RP members and their manager were there, as well as Eric and Brad who gave Amber a comforting embrace as soon as they spotted her. The sigh of relief that was supposed to be heaved when Moon told her the door only got James’ left shoulder and wrist got hitched in as she felt a wave of nausea came crashing when he went on to tell her that the doctors had just come out a while ago to inform them that it will be an eight hour long surgery as they had to reconnect James’ wrist since he refused to have prosthetic attached.

                The severity and implications of both the accident and surgery gradually dawned on Amber and made themselves home as she sat on the floor facing the double doors that had her man at the other side. There were so many questions running through her head, questions to RP’s manager, to Moon and Sooyoon, to the doctors, to anyone there who would listen to her. But she could not find her strength nor her voice, so she opted to stare at the bright “OPERATION” light that seemed to be mocking her instead.

“Don’t worry Am, James’ gonna be alright. Some rehab and the tiger’s gonna be back kickin’,” Brad gave a small squeeze on Amber’s shoulder, handing her some hot chocolate and bread while Eric made himself home beside her.

“Yeah, Am. RP needs our bassist asap or else there’s no new album y’know,” Sooyoon quipped from the other side of the bench he was resting on, trying his best to reassure her.

The situation put a smile on Amber’s face, everyone was worried sick yet they comforted her the best they could.

“I really appreciate this, guys. But really, we know this is not gonna turn out pretty. His wrist was to get cut off. I know we’ll all be by his side, I’m just, I’m worried how he’s gonna take this.” She gave another helpless smile and silence took place of the conversation.

-

It felt like an eternity when the lights finally went off and the doctors emerged from the double doors. The brunette scrambled to her feet and chuckled a little when Eric oww-ed at how numb his legs turned out to be after sitting down for so long. The group moved to the ward they were told after a brief explanation from the doctors and was relieved to find an intact James laying peacefully on the bed.

The room had only contained Amber as she insisted to stay when James finally gained consciousness. The girl stirred awake upon the slight movement and pressed for doctor as she uttered a silent prayer to thank God. When the doctor gave an okay and the rest of the nurses cleared out of the room, Amber scurried back to James’ side.

“Hey you, how are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been hit by a door?” James smiled at the girl who had pressed a kiss on his cheek and was currently combing through his hair gently.

“Not funny.” Amber swatted at James’ good hand that attempted to pinch her scrunched nose.

“Hey, at least I’m alive you know, could have been worse.”

“I know.. it’s just, could have been better too, you know.”

“Like if you curl up next to me, that’d definitely be better,” James had a eating grin for someone who had just woken up from anesthetic and suffered an almost broken wrist.

Amber had always been amazed at how James had always managed to look at the bright side of everything and through that, taught her to be a better version of herself too. She could only shook her head at her man’s logic, kicking off her shoes and attaching herself right onto James’ right side, arms splayed on his broad chest.

“Comfortable, aren’t ya?” Amber did not have to raise her head to know James had a teasing smile on his face as he asked the rhetorical question.

“Just really really glad you’re alive and breathing. Doesn’t hurt that my boyfriend has a hot bod too right?” Amber met eyes with the tall brunette as she spoke, pressing herself into him and taking a deep sniff of hospital mixed James, smiling up at the man. She meant what she said, being able to curl up next to James and feel the ups and downs of his chest with every breath he took had suddenly felt luxurious given the thought that she might have lost him just earlier in the day.

“Yes baby girl. Now get some shut eye. I don’t have to look at the clock to be able to tell it’s been a long day.” James was gentle when he coaxed Amber to sleep, good thumb brushing his love’s arm as he pressed a tight lipped kiss on her head.

-

                It was hard for Amber to pinpoint the emotion that ran through her every time she was with James watching him rehabilitate. For one, it pained her to see how much he had to go through, how hard he was pushing himself in order to recover yet she could not shoulder the burden and the pain with him. She felt helpless, only able to offer her companion and comfort, but even then, James would smile his gentle smile and tell her it was the best he could ever ask for. And her heart would swell with so much pride, at how James took this so well, how he would clench his teeth to give every exercise an extra go, how her man gave his very best in this long road of rehab. But sometimes, Amber felt mad for him. Blood boiled and fists tightened so much at how unfair the accident was. Like what AOE had said, “how can you compensate for the future of a musician who knows nothing except music?”, not that James only ever knows music, no amount or form of compensation would suffice for this hardship.

                She knew it was not always sunshine and flowers after James started his rehab. There were days he was gloomy and downright depressed that rehab was taking too long and far too painful to go on, that his left hand at times did not feel like his at all, that he was dragging the band down with his injury and inability to play the bass guitar despite their announced comeback. He would stare long and hard at his left hand, or sometimes at the wall, and Amber knew it had to be agonizing, for such an athletic musician soul to not be able to do anything he was used to, to have to watch his left hand not cooperating despite being sewn back.

Amber stayed right by his side through the lowest, always encouraging and supporting her love with all that she could. And through this all, James had never once lose his temper over his predicament, nor want to give up and quit altogether. This was what made Amber felt even more sorry to the man she was currently watching, going through his daily rehab again. This teddy bear of a bassist had such big heart and faith in God that he never blamed or complained his fate, merely filled his fair share of gloom and carried on with his rehabilitation. He had looked at the accident with such a non-victim perspective and treated the different kinds of pain that came with the rehab with such perseverance, determined to be back to his bass guitar as soon as he could.

                Her train of thought was cut short as James dropped himself down next to her, gulping water and wiping away the sweat that had gathered at his forehead. It was one of those down days, Amber noted, with the lack of sound coming from her teddy bear.

                “You did great, big llama. I’m proud of you.” She beamed at him, giving his lips a peck.

                James visibly cheered up at the peck, grinning boyishly back at the brunette, thanking her with a small squeeze on their linked hands. Though by the years the girl had known him, Amber knew by the grin that the cloud was still hovering over James, still threatening to rain on his parade.

                “Hey, give me your left hand.” Amber had let go of their linked hands and instead stretched her left palm out asking for said hand. James had looked at her quizzically but complied nonetheless.

                “Now close your eyes.”

                Amber nodded with content as her tall bassist boyfriend fluttered his eyes closed obediently. She could not help but leaned up and pressed another kiss to his lips.

                “This is for being so good.” At that, she received a half snort half grin.

                “You can feel me holding your hand right?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Okay cool.”

                Amber proceeded to smooth her right palm over James’ left palm, lightly tracing the healing stitches before going back to the palm and began to write on it.

                “Can you feel it?”

A/N: not completed yet! ^^