Can I survive this plan of mine? I mean, it’s suicidal if you’ll realize what this is all about. I know she doesn’t see me more than a friend but hey, come to think of it. After all this bond we’ve shared, I guess everyone will say that she’s too numb to not see how I feel about her. Those heartfelt acts, warm gestures, and numerous letters—I’m sure they made a hint of something—that one thing I’ve been keeping since we became close to each other. But not all can fully realize what something is unless you pound it in their heads, right? Maybe she’s one of those; but I silently wish that she isn’t. Heck, I don’t even know if this feeling can be named as love or just infatuation. Saying that you love someone is a hard thing to do. Especially when you’re too confused and carried away by what you thought it is. Although infatuation can’t be the label either. It’s not just a simple crush that much I know. I’m stuck between seeing her purely as a friend or as a special someone whom I think I can’t run away from. No matter how hard I try to push myself away from her, I still end up doing otherwise. Like a boomerang, I always go back to where I came from—but in this case, it’s not where I came from—it’s where I think I should be. Maybe we can be best friends for now. But who knows one day, in another time and in another place, we can be more than that.

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