A/N: this is more a drabble more than anything.  I wrote this when I was writing "Dance with Me" but didn't post it because of all the spoilers about the JonginxIU relationship in this.  I miss Sehun in 'Dance with Me' so I had to post this!

This story is dedicated to all of those with that first crush/one-side love that will never become anything more and a reminder that there is someone else out there looking our way even if we don't realise it :)

 “What’s so good about Jongin anyway?”  Sehun had asked her, as they sat on the floor of the practice room.  Ara gave him a glare.  Sehun really had no filter and said what he wanted when he wanted.

But she thought about it for a moment before returning a soft, “I don’t know” back to him.  She pursed her lips in thought.

“How can you not know?”  Sehun looked at her, unable to comprehend her answer.  It was like she wasn’t capable of answering the most simple question. 

“Is it because he’s good looking?” 

She shook her head and she could feel her hair sticking onto her face.  Ara had just finished a quite exhausting dance routine and beads of sweat were still running down her face.

“Because he’s good at dancing?”

Again, she shook her head.

“Because that’s why most of the girls like him.”

He had persisted with more questions.  Did Sehun not know how cruel he was being?  She had thought.  She was frustrated at him, but even more so at herself.   She also didn’t know why she got angry and started shouting at Sehun.

“Because when I was alone, he was the one who stood by my side and never gave up on me!  And he sees me for more than what I look like!”

Why was even she explaining herself to Sehun?  Before waiting for what Sehun had to say, she picked up her things and left the practice room. 

Sehun was a such a brat sometimes, Ara thought.  Why couldn’t he just leave her alone?  And why does he always mention Jongin around her?  It was like he enjoyed poking at her vulnerable spot.

“Hey Ara!”  She could hear Sehun calling after her from behind and then footsteps coming closer to her.

He had rested a hand on her shoulder.  “I didn’t mean to upset you.  I’m sorry.”

She looked up and saw his apologetic face.  She hated when people looked at her like that.  It was like if she didn’t accept his apology, she would look like the bad guy.

At the same time, she saw Jongin and his girlfriend, Jieun walk pass the far corridor, talking happily with each other.  She had been able to stand Jongin having no interest in herself, but seeing him with another girl, that just pierced a dagger through her heart every time she saw them together.  It felt suffocating.  Because it reminded her that Jongin would never like someone like her. 

And to make matters worse, Jieun was also in the same group of trainees she was in.   Ara couldn’t make her out as the villian because she had gotten to know Jieun.  And she knew Jieun wasn’t a bad girl.  She wasn’t fake; in fact she was actually really nice and treated Ara like a genuine friend, unlike the other trainees in the group.

When Ara had been busy in her own thoughts, Sehun had noticed the distressed look on her face, or he had felt bad for what he said earlier but he quickly changed the topic.  “Ara, are you hungry?”

To be honest, she wasn’t really but she didn’t want to stay in the building any longer.  So she nodded at Sehun.

“Let’s go to the ramyun shop down the road then. I’m craving some noodles at the moment.”

As they walked down the street, Ara wondered if things would have been different if she hadn’t known Jongin for so long.

Jongin was her childhood friend.  Her parents and his parents had been good friends and that was how she got to met Jongin.  Jongin was pretty much a typical 8 year old boy to Ara at the time.  He was messy, always covered in dirt or bruises and always seemed to find himself in trouble.  But they somehow got along.  Jongin would always convince her to join him in with his little pranks and she would always be complaining to him that it was a bad idea, yet she would always end up following him anyways.

Ara had been brought up strictly with her mother always making sure she was well-mannered and basically didn’t let her do anything that would make for trouble.  So when she played together with Jongin, it gave her a sense of freedom and excitement, something she never had before. 

But it wasn’t until the fifth grade, she realised she liked Jongin more than a friend.  They lived in the same neighbourhood so when Jongin was playing basketball with his friends, she would wait for him before they went home together.  As she watched him play that one day, she found herself staring at him, her heart twisting and turning, like her heart was the soccer ball being kicked around.  Every time Jongin turned her way during the game and smiled at her, she knew she was doomed.  Even his smiles were giving her butterflies.

But Ara wasn’t an idiot, she knew that Jongin didn’t see her the same way.  Jongin treated her like a little sister, he took good care of her, but there was nothing more.  And Ara didn’t mind at the time, because Jongin was still by her side.  And she had thought that was enough.  She could stand being in a one-sided love. 

When Jongin began becoming interested in dancing and even planned to audition for an entertainment company, Ara could feel that Jongin was beginning to disappear from her life.  And she didn’t want that to happen.  And so she went to audition for the same company he did as well.  Her dancing skills were hopeless and her singing skills were average, but she supposed she had the look they wanted because she managed to get into the company.

Sehun broke her out of her daze. 

“Have you tried the curry ramyun?  I wonder if it’s too hot or not.” 

Ara shook her head. 

“Ji—I mean one of my friends told me the curry ramyun is really good here.”  Sehun said, stumbling over his words.  Ara knew Sehun was going to say Jieun’s name.  She knew that Sehun and her were good friends. 

She originally thought that Jieun and Sehun