Sehun’s extremely unlucky. A lot of people say that about themselves, but Sehun knows in his case, it’s not an exaggeration. Every single day, there will always be proof that he is a living, walking magnet for catastrophe. When he walks into a restaurant, he doesn’t leave without accidentally spilling water on somebody or maybe breaking a plate or two. A movie theatre means spilled popcorn or sitting on a wet seat. A bike ride brings flat tires or skinned knees. It’s simply a fact.

It’s honestly a surprise to Sehun that he even has friends, since he tends to inadvertently bring misfortune to everyone around him. That’s why he’s grateful to his friends for putting up with him, but sometimes he finds himself even more unlucky to have made friends with them in the first place.

It’s not an exaggeration by any means. Sometimes they just end up putting Sehun in an awful position, which usually involves a cute girl or guy witnessing the horrifying spectacle. Sehun on his own is already bad enough. But add his friends and a hottie into the equation and, well, you got yourself a disaster.

-

Surprisingly, Sehun’s been trouble-free for nearly a whole month. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s winter and he usually just holes himself in his bedroom watching Netflix with a mug of hot cocoa, but still, it’s an accomplishment.

He mulls over this achievement of his, now shrouded in an air of near panic because what if it’s the calm before the storm?

After all, Sehun’s currently with his friends and that’s never a good sign. They’re all seated in a booth at the new retro diner next to their university. Jongin, his roommate, is blatantly and quite loudly checking out the group of girls sitting at the table next to them. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are fighting over who has the better dish - they both ordered essentially the same burger with slight variations in toppings. Sehun finds that this describes his friends pretty well, with Jongin being and interested in anything attractive but not actually doing anything about it, and Baekhyun and Chanyeol finding the most mundane things entertaining.

Sehun’s used to this excess amount of dumb, but the people in this diner are not, and so he resorts to sticking his earbuds in and scooching as far away as possible without falling off his seat.

Too immersed in trying to pick out a fry that he accidentally dropped in the pile of ketchup, Sehun doesn’t notice the entrance of a group of attractive boys which draws the attention of nearly every single girl in the room. And Jongin, of course.

“Hot damn,” Jongin whistles, “Sehun, Sehun, Sehuuuuun, I think I just saw an angel.”

“Guys. I just remembered something,” Baekhyun snaps his fingers. Chanyeol’s the only one who’s even remotely paying attention. “I got tickets to Reloaded’s first concert!”

Disappointed by the lack of response, Baekhyun jumps on his closest victim, which is, of course, Sehun. His first method of attack is poking the boy, who retaliates with a soggy fry. Frowning, Baekhyun yanks out Sehun’s earbuds.

Chanyeol puts a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Um, Baek, maybe you shouldn’t-”

“You did not just do that.” Sehun faces Baekhyun with a murderous glint in his eyes, face terrifyingly expressionless.

“Oh, I think I just did,” Baekhyun smugly responds.

Growling, Sehun searches for anything to throw at the grinning, little elf. His earbuds and precious fries are definitely out of question, and Jongin’s out of arm's reach, so he settles with a threat, “You want me to send everyone that picture of you dancing to SNSD in nothing but a-”

“I got tickets to Reloaded!” Baekhyun smoothly cuts him off.

“Wait, really?” Sehun forgets all about his previous revenge plans. He barely stops himself from squealing because hanging out with these dorks is public embarrassment enough.

Reloaded is Sehun’s favourite band, to say the least. He stumbled upon them when he was browsing Soundcloud with Jongin and the instrumentals were already gold, but what won Sehun over was the genuine, vulnerable sound of the singing. Soon enough, Sehun had fallen head over heels for, well, a voice. A good eighty percent of his phone is made up of Reloaded’s songs. They aren’t well-known and sometimes make covers of other artists, but they already have a pretty solid fanbase which led to their announcement of an upcoming, free concert. The downside is that the ticket-holders are chosen through a lucky draw, which obviously isn’t Sehun’s strong suit.

What made everyone even more excited for the concert was the fact that Reloaded never shared their real identities. They preferred to keep their personal life private and away from the spotlight. Sehun’s not sure what spurred them to decide to show their faces now. He’s not complaining, though. It’ll be interesting to match a face to a voice, but the mystery isn’t the main reason why he’s such a big fan.

“How did you get your hands on them?” Sehun asks, Baekhyun’s prior antics long forgotten.

“I know some people,” Baekhyun answers and pulls out the tickets to fan himself. He always had a knack for the dramatics. “Paid them some cash and these babies were all mine.”

“Did I ever tell you how much I love you - Wait,” Sehun blinks, and blinks again. “Don’t tell me you only have three tickets.”

“What?” Jongin finally turns his attention away from his eye-candies. “Who’s not going then?”

After a long beat of the guys holding a four-way staring contest, Chanyeol meekly raises his hand. “I mean, I’m not as big of a fan as you guys are-”

“No!” Baekhyun slaps Chanyeol’s hand down. “You can’t back out of this.”

“So it’s just between you and me, then,” Sehun narrows his eyes at Jongin, who attempts to growl back, only managing to sound like he’s in pain. “Just warning you, golden boy, I’ll do anything to get my hands on that ticket.”

“Right back at you, noodle face."

Baekhyun claps his hands. “Alright! So! I have an idea.”

“That’s never a good sign,” Chanyeol whispers warningly.

“Go over to that table of guys that Jongin’s been drooling over and get one of their numbers. If you succeed, the ticket’s yours.”

Sehun looks around the diner and notices the group of guys, at last. They’re all cute, but none appear to be his type. He shrugs and accepts the dare easily enough. It’s no big deal embarrassing himself and there’s no one to impress here anyway. Jongin, on the other hand, pales considerably.

“C’mon, Baek,” Jongin chuckles nervously, “What will you even gain from this?”

“Sweet, sweet entertainment,” Baekhyun sings out with a sadistic grin, “You know I love watching my friends make fools of themselves.”

“Whatever, if Jongin’s not going to do it, then I will,” Sehun cuts in. He ignores Baekhyun’s gleeful giggle, takes one last sip of his drink and stands up. Sehun strides confidently over to the targets.

He stops in front of their table, causing two of them to look up. Oh, so that’s the angel Jongin was talking about. Fair skin, big eyes, oddly charming. The other one staring at him is all cheekbones and curled lips like he’s in on a joke that no one else knows. Clearing his throat, Sehun prepares to get it over with as quickly as possible, but he’s stopped by Cheekbones’ chuckle followed by a whispered, “Oh, this is gonna be good.”

You’re a man on a mission, Sehun. Nothing can stop you.

“Can we help you?” A kind voice asks.

Nothing can stop him, nothing but a pair of really sparkly eyes, Sehun realizes once he turns to face the speaker. It makes sense that he hasn’t seen his face since Sparkly Eyes’s back is facing Sehun’s table. He’s reduced to silence as he takes in the long eyelashes, faint smile, and eventual conclusion that , he’s exactly my type.

“I, uh - sure?” Smooth, real smooth.

A beat passes, and Sehun belatedly realizes that they’re waiting for him to elaborate just as Jongin’s Angel cuts in, not unkindly, “So what do you need help with?”

“Um, right,” Sehun barely suppresses a cringe. The awkward is getting too much, even for him. “Can I get your number?”

“Who are you asking that to?” Cheekbones raises an eyebrow with a smirk that reminds Sehun of Baekhyun.

“I’m-” Sehun glances around the table. He ends up looking in Sparkly Eyes’ direction and saying, “I don’t know your name?”

“Oh my god, what a surprise!” Cheekbones throws his hands up in the air. “Of course, everyone always aims for Luhan. Of course.”

Luhan. Sehun files that name away for further contemplation and daydreams since, after this mess-in-the-making, he probably won’t see Luhan ever again.

Luhan’s hiding his face behind his soda while Jongin’s Angel raises his hand to get Sehun’s attention. “Well, I guess if you’re going to go and court our friend, you’d have to at least know our names. I’m Kyungsoo. Don’t mind Jongdae, and yeah, that over there is Luhan.”

Jongdae says sympathetically, “You seem nice. So I’m just warning you, don’t be sad when Luhan rejects you. He rejects everybo-”

“It doesn’t have to be your real number,” Sehun blurts out. All three heads shoot up to stare at him. Do it for the ticket, man, do it for the ticket. “Just seven digits is fine, I’m not going to call it anyway.”

“Wait, did you just... “ Jongdae raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “Did this guy just ask out Luhan and reject him at the same time?”

At this point, Sehun can’t even bring himself to see Luhan’s reaction and focuses his attention on the other two. Their non-existent relationship is doomed anyway. “You see, my friends at that table dared me to come over here to get one of your numbers in exchange for a concert ticket. So think of it as doing a favour and just write seven random digits down, please.”

Silence follows. Jongdae’s mouth drops open, face scrunched like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or be offended.

Finally, Luhan speaks up, “You must really want that ticket, huh.”

Sehun dares to detect amusement in his voice. He also realizes how nice Luhan’s voice sounds, all soft and sincere. Without hesitation, Luhan scribbles down some digits on a napkin.

A normal person will take the napkin, thank Luhan politely, and attempt to forget this entire embarrassing exchange all for a concert ticket. But being Sehun, that isn’t how things go down. As he reaches for the napkin, he manages to knock over a can of soda, and with Sehun watching in horror, it spills onto Luhan’s lap. Along with the last bit of Sehun’s pride.

“Oh no, that’s his favourite pair of jeans,” whispers Kyungsoo. Jongdae just bursts out laughing.

“, oh god, I’m sorry,” Sehun apologizes repeatedly. He grabs a few other napkins, and along with the one Luhan handed him, he tries to pat down the liquid to make it dry faster. Some part of Sehun’s brain has undoubtedly shut down at the moment to make him think this is logical.

Soon, that part of his brain wakes up and he comes to the realization in growing dread that he’s patting not only Luhan’s probably designer jeans, but also Luhan’s crotch underneath it. And Luhan himself is not doing anything about it. He’s not saying anything, not moving away, nothing.

Sehun raises his hands and back up. “I, oh my god, I’m so sorry-”

“Yeah, I know, you said that, like, twenty times already,” Luhan says dryly. Kyungsoo snorts.

“Right, so, uh, thanks for this.” Sehun holds up the soggy napkins. “Yeah, I. I’m just gonna go now.”

Sehun’s face is burning when he manages to stride with as much dignity as he can out of the diner. He knows he ditched his friends but that’s what they deserve, those life-ruiners. He remembers hearing their laughter in the background when he - oh god, Sehun doesn’t even want to think about it. He tries to force out the fresh memory of Luhan’s impressive poker-face when Sehun pressed down on his crotch with the promise of Reloaded’s ticket to cheer him up. But all he can think of is four words.

Best first impression ever.

-

In the following two weeks, Sehun manages to shove Luhan to the back of his mind and focus solely on university and his part-time job as a retail worker. But the sparkly eyes are still there, in traces. They’re in the napkin with blurred numbers sitting in his desk drawer, in that deer plushie on his bed that strangely reminds him of Luhan, and in the ticket to Reloaded he had done pretty much everything for.

Sehun takes it all in stride. He has learned to roll with the punches thrown by his little curse, and knows that the best way to get over his embarrassing situation is to focus on the happier things.

So he finds himself at the convenience store twenty minutes away from his dorm. He had stumbled upon this gem when he was searching for a place that sold cheap food and as every university student knows, convenience stores are their best friends. What makes this convenience store special, however, is the strange-flavoured lollipops by the cash registers.

Sehun has always had a sweet tooth and adored lollipops above all other candies. It quickly became his pick-me-up. He hasn’t had a chance to treat himself to one after the Luhan incident. He had planned his time to fit in Reloaded’s concert.

Right as he walks into the convenience store, his eyes narrow in on the beanie-sporting person standing in front of the lollipop stand. When Sehun warily walks closer, his jaw drops when he realizes the person had taken the last lollipop.

“Seriously, man?” Sehun groans, “The last one?”

The stranger turns around with a questioning look, and Sehun nearly lets out a squeak because it’s, “Luhan?”

“Oh, hey, it’s you! You remember me?” Luhan breaks out into a grin. Now that both of them are standing side-by-side, Sehun notices that Luhan is actually shorter than him. He’d be feeling smug about it, too, if it weren’t for the fact that Luhan probably thinks he’s a huge weirdo. Most of the people in his life already think he’s a huge weirdo, but Luhan’s different. He has really sparkly eyes, for one. It’s like there are fireflies trapped in his orbs.

The fireflies in his eyes dim for a second when he asks, “I’m so sorry, but what was your name again?”

Sehun starts crying internally. Outwardly, Sehun smiles somewhat awkwardly, “It’s Oh Sehun.”

“Right! Oh Sehun, It’s great to see you again,” Luhan says politely. Sehun bets it’s actually not that great to run into the person who ruined your favourite pair of jeans and touched your crotch at the same time.

Sehun saves Luhan the trouble of grasping for words and says abruptly, “I, uh, I have to go. I would say it’s nice to see you again but it’s not, not really.”

“Oh,” Luhan blinks, smile disappearing. “Wait-”

Sehun doesn’t stay to hear what the shorter says and immediately makes a hasty escape. He can hear Luhan calling after him, but no amounts of that sweet voice singing his name like a siren luring its victim to his death would make him turn back.

Great. Now he thinks I’m rude, on top of being a creep. And I don’t even have my lollipop to cheer me up. ing great.

Sehun slaps both hands on his cheeks, snapping himself out of it. It’ll be fine. I’ll just never come back here again.

-

But come back, he does.

A stressful week crammed with essays and overdue assignments later, Sehun finds himself sneaking into the convenience store dressed like he’s going to rob Burger King in an all-black outfit complete with a black cap pulled down low to shield his eyes. It’s not his fault he can’t live without his regular supply of sugar. Sehun convinces himself that there is no way Luhan would be back here exactly a week later at the same time. In fact, Luhan will probably avoid coming here on Wednesdays, if he even comes at all.

Run in, grab the lollipop, pay that probably confused and slightly scared cashier, and get out. Easy.

The first thing he does after he enters is to check the premise. For once in his life, the universe has looked upon him favourably and he sees no sign of Luhan. He relaxes at once and makes his way comfortably to the lollipop stand, ignoring all the strange looks strangers are giving him. Sehun has long become immune to judgement from strangers.

But a metre away, Sehun can tell that the lollipop stand is empty. Again. Who keeps buying my lollipops? I thought I was the only one who knew about them.

Sighing, Sehun takes off his hat and runs an irritated hand through his hair. Just as he turns around to leave, the cashier glances up from her counter and lights up, calling out his name.

“Oh Sehun?” After Sehun turns around, the girl grins and holds out a lollipop. “This is for you.”

“Wait, seriously?” Sehun walks up to the cashier, confused, “Do you guys store the lollipops behind the counter now, or…”

“No, someone came in here a short while ago and bought this lollipop. He told me to give it to an Oh Sehun and gave me a description that matched you.” She falters, “But I didn’t recognize you at first, with your, um, outfit.”

No way. Sehun’s eyes widens as he reaches out to take the lollipop, thanking the cashier. No way Luhan would buy this for me. No way he’d be this nice to someone like me.

It’s only when Sehun walks out of the convenience store in a daze does he notice that it’s his least favourite lollipop flavour. Coffee. Ew. Sehun is an avid coffee-lover but putting it in lollipop form is something that should never have happened.

Still, Sehun can’t bring himself to throw it away. He unwraps the lollipop and gives it a tentative , face scrunching from the taste. But a smile sneaks its way onto his face the more he the lollipop, even though the taste worsens each time.

-

It becomes a regular thing of theirs now.

Every Wednesday after Sehun’s morning class, he stops by the convenience store. Most often than not, the lollipop stand has been refilled before he comes in, but there’s still an extra lollipop waiting for him behind the counter. Sometimes there’s a little note attached, with cute messages like, “Cheer up!” or “Smile more!” Even though Luhan has horrible taste, Sehun finds himself overjoyed each time.

Sehun hasn’t told his friends about it since he knows they’ll , or mess up whatever this is that’s going on between him and Luhan. At least, he thinks - hopes - it’s Luhan.

He wonders if he should write Luhan a note back or something, but what is there to say? Thanks for the gross-flavoured lollipops? What’s wrong with your tastebuds? Sehun’ll probably just offend the poor guy.

Sehun prefers not to know why Luhan’s doing this. He’s in the dark about why Luhan’s taking the time out of his busy schedule to brighten up Sehun’s day, and he’ll stay that way. Some people fear the unknown, but Sehun fears the truth. It’s comfortable to keep things the way they are right now, simple and easy.

He accepts the lollipops, and  keeps them in the bottom drawer of his desk because they’re too gross to stomach. The notes he tapes on his wall.

He knows Luhan will eventually stop one day. Things will return back to normal, and this will be nothing more than an unusual blip in Sehun’s grand scheme of life.

-

Turns out things aren’t that simple. Or more specifically, Sehun’s life isn’t that simple.

-

Sehun rubs his hands together to keep warm before sticking them into his coat pockets. He watches the leaves above him fly away in the wind, the beautiful fall colours having dulled long ago. He stays for a moment in the middle of the sidewalk. Reloaded playing from his earbuds exudes a melancholy feel.

Jongin had told him he invited a couple of friends over to their dorm and Sehun, not in the mood for socializing, is taking the world’s slowest ten-minute walk from the retail store he works at to his campus.

Suddenly, he feels a force hit his back roughly, sending him flying off balance. His world tilts for a second before Sehun crashes into a pile of dry leaves, pain sending stars into sight.

“Ugh…” Sehun groans and pulls himself up. Looking around, he spots a fallen bike a metre away and a leg sticking out of the pile of leaves. Worried, Sehun crouches to check if the person’s okay.

His world halts for a moment when Sehun takes in the familiar fair skin, button nose, and most of all, the really sparkly eyes that are staring right back at him.

“Sehun?” Luhan utters, face breaking into a huge grin. Sehun tries not to be too happy that Luhan remembers his name for once. He fails terribly. “Wow, what a coincidence!”

“I…” Sehun swallows hard. He tries to ignore the leaf stuck cutely in Luhan’s hair and pulls the boy to his feet. Not knowing what is acceptable to say to a person who’s been sending him lollipops for the last couple of weeks, Sehun shuffles from foot to foot.

“It’s nice to see you again!” Luhan says, eyes crinkling. “I would say I’m sorry for crashing into you with my bike, but it led to meeting you.”

“Yeah,” Sehun replies weakly. Luhan isn’t allowed to say something like that so easily with that stupid, sincere grin of his. It makes Sehun want to fall for it, for him.

“Oh!” Luhan exclaims abruptly, startling Sehun. The grin has vanished, replaced by a worried frown. Luhan reaches down into the leaves, pulling out and brushing the dirt off a guitar case. Wailing, Luhan the case. “No, Kris! What have I done to you?”

“Kris…?” Sehun mumbles in confusion.

“I, uh, that’s the name of my guitar.” Luhan holds up the guitar sheepishly. “Kris was my first guitar. We have a lot of memories together.”

“Right, Kris, it’s nice to meet you.” Sehun cringes at himself. Great going, Sehun. You just became friends with Luhan’s guitar.

Sehun steps back onto the sidewalk and wonders if it’s an appropriate time to leave. He doesn’t think he can last any longer after finding out that Luhan not only plays guitar (which is hot), but he names his instruments, too (which is weirdly cute).

“Oh, wait,” Luhan hurries to catch up to Sehun after retrieving his bike. “Sorry to bother you again, but do you know where Greendale University is? I have to meet some friends there and they gave me horrible instructions. But I know it’s around this area.”

Sehun flutters his eyes shut for a second, already regretting his decision before he says, “That’s actually my university. I live on campus.”

“Oh, do you really? That’s so convenient! Do you mind showing me?”

Like he could say no to those goddamn firefly eyes. Sehun hates himself for caving so easily. As if to make up for his weak will, Sehun spends the rest of the ten-minute walk in silence. To his disgruntlement, Luhan doesn’t seem to mind, humming under his breath and smiling Sehun’s way every time he looks over. The only thing keeping Sehun sane is the fact that Luhan will leave him alone right after they arrive on campus.

But even that doesn’t go according to plan.

As Sehun walks back to his dorm after waving goodbye to Luhan by the bike rack, he hears light footsteps hurrying after him. A little perturbed, Sehun turns the corner to his dorm. The footsteps are still right behind him.

Stopping in front of his door, Sehun waits for the footsteps to continue past him. They don’t.

Whirling around, Sehun’s not surprised to see Luhan staring back up at him, eyes wide. Groaning, Sehun runs a hand through his hair. “I thought you were meeting up with some friends. Do you like me so much that you’re following me?”

Luhan’s mouth falls open. “Oh, no, I wasn’t-”

The door opens behind Sehun to reveal a grinning Jongin with his arm slung around Kyungsoo. Laughing, Jongin says, “Come on in, Luhan! We’ve been waiting for you.”

“Um, thanks,” Luhan nods at Jongin. He glances at Sehun before slipping past him into the dorm. At this rate, Sehun has a much higher chance at dating Kris than Luhan.

Sehun stares at Jongin in bewilderment. “These are the people you invited over? Since when did-” Sehun gestures wildly at Jongin and Kyungsoo. “-you two get so close?”

“I actually should thank you for that,” Jongin winks. Sehun in a deep breath, barely controlling himself from whacking his roommate over the head. “Because of your little spectacle, I got a chance to talk to Kyungsoo.”

Sehun shakes his head wordlessly and shoves past Jongin to get into his dorm. He doesn’t have the patience to listen to Jongin’s love story when Sehun, once again, royally screwed up in front of Luhan.

And he has a feeling it won’t be the last.

-

It is perfectly reasonable to avoid Luhan, Sehun tells himself, as he speed-walks out of the grocery store away from Luhan’s hurt eyes that Sehun can definitely feel pinned on his retreating back.

In a scenario where the guy who has suffered secondhand Sehun’s misfortune multiple times bumps into Sehun at a grocery store, it makes sense. Especially when Sehun’s dressed in his sweats with a bird’s nest for hair. Especially when Sehun’s holding a pack of condoms in his hand.

Jongin had made a deal that he’d do the laundry and the dishes for a whole month if Sehun bought the pack of condoms for him. Which was why Sehun was back in robbing-Burger-King gear and getting the hell out of the grocery store as fast as he could after he bought the first pack of condoms he grabbed in his hand. He didn’t care if it was strawberry-scented, glow-in-the dark, or extra flexible. Sehun wanted out.

In his rush, he had crashed into someone when rounding the aisle. And who else could it be but the reason why Sehun studied in the library more often than his dorm because Jongin kept inviting his “friends” over?

The package flew out of his hand and skidded before Luhan’s feet. Sehun felt himself turning into ashes and blowing away in the wind.

Luhan bent down and picked up the package, eyes skimming the label before handing it over to Sehun. He could tell Luhan was holding back a grin.

The reason why was because on the front of the package, below the label, were five letters indicating which size the condoms were meant for.

“It’s for Jongin,” was the first thing Sehun blurted out.

Luhan’s mouth had barely managed to open before Sehun sprinted out of there faster than Naruto on steroids.

That wasn’t the only time Luhan showed up in Sehun’s life without his permission. Somehow, Luhan’s always around his campus these days, wandering dangerously close to Sehun’s classes. He shows up at their dorm with Kris in tow, sometimes even when Jongin isn’t around. Jongin tries to rope Sehun into joining them for lunch or to hang out or whatever their kind does, but Sehun knows better than to willingly go along.

Sehun may be shallow, he may enjoy Luhan’s good looks, but he is not dumb. No matter how hard that is to believe.

But it seems that as usual, his wishes are being denied. The universe is set on entangling Luhan into his life.

-

There are perks to Jongin dating Luhan’s best friend, Sehun supposes. Like when Jongin finally showers daily and actually does his laundry instead of borrowing Sehun’s wardrobe. Or when he stops staying up in the middle of the night crying while watching K-dramas, and is smiling at his phone stupidly instead. But most of all, Jongin goes on dates. Which means Sehun gets the dorm all to himself.

It doesn’t matter how long Jongin’s out for or what exactly he’s doing. Sehun doesn’t care about any of that as long as Reloaded’s blasting through his room and he’s finally getting some work done. All in his pajamas, of course.

When a knock sounds on his door, Sehun assumes it’s Jongin and opens it up with a, “So did you two yet or what?” because he and his friends are and greet each other like neanderthals.

He does not expect Luhan looking more delicious than ever in a black button-down and ripped jeans, whose mouth drops open after Sehun’s opening sentence.

“Oh, Luhan, I - uh,” Sehun stutters, forgetting his vocabulary. “I didn’t know you were coming. I thought you were-”

“Jongin? Yeah, I could tell.”

Sehun becomes painfully aware of the ketchup stain on the collar of his wrinkly t-shirt. Luhan hasn’t said it in a mean way, but it still stings.

Leaning against the door, or more so hiding as most of his unkempt self as he can, Sehun asks, “So what are you doing here? Jongin’s out on a date.”

Luhan says quickly, “Yeah, I know. Jongin told me to drop by to pick up the book he forgot to return. He said you’d be here.” He quickly tacks on, “Don’t close the door on me.”

“What?” Sehun blinks. “Why would I do that?”

“You just - you had that look like you’re about to bolt,” Luhan rubs the back of his neck shyly. Sehun bites the inside of his cheeks to stop from making an embarrassing sound, like a squeal. “Never mind. So, can I come in?”

“Oh, yeah,” Sehun mumbles and steps back, letting Luhan enter. A flash of guilt hits Sehun from Luhan’s words, but the embarrassment quickly overrides it.

Plopping onto his bed, Sehun opens his textbook and plugs his earbuds in to maintain his leave-me-alone image. It obviously doesn’t work when Luhan tries to make conversation by asking, “You listen to Reloaded?”

Sehun holds back a sigh and looks up. Luhan’s standing in front of his desk where his Reloaded album’s sitting, the one that Chanyeol got him for his previous birthday. Raising an eyebrow, Sehun asks, “You know them?”

“Yeah, I’m a fan,” Luhan says lightly. Sehun feels his admiration shooting up despite himself. Coughing, Sehun returns back to his work, shifting so his back is to Luhan. That seems to send the message across. The only sound Sehun hears after is the rustling of paper and the occasional twinge from the guitar.

Just as Sehun relaxes as much as he can in this scenario, Luhan calls out, amused, “You kept these?"

Sehun’s head shoots up to see Luhan leaning against his desk with his lollipop notes in hand. For some reason, Luhan had decided snooping around Sehun’s stuff without his permission is a wonderful idea. Groaning, Sehun can feel the heat rush to his cheeks. “Aren’t you supposed to be finding your book?”

“It can wait,” Luhan says absentmindedly, flipping through the slips of paper. “Oh, wow, it’s been a while since we started this, huh?”

“It’s not like I was going to throw them out,” Sehun mumbles before returning to his school work. This is the first time they acknowledged the lollipop tradition out loud, Sehun realizes belatedly.

Luhan softens, eyes gazing almost fondly at Sehun. Sehun holds his breath, a little terrified of what he had unknowingly admitted and what is to unfold after. When Luhan takes a step closer, Sehun starts to gather his books, scrambling to get his jacket and phone. “I, um, I’m gonna head over to the library.”

“Wait, Sehun,” Luhan protests. When it’s clear Sehun isn’t listening, Luhan catches onto his shoulder. His touch is light, yet halts all of Sehun’s movements.

“Why are you scared of me?”

“What?” Sehun’s eyes are fixated on the hand on his shoulder, burning through the fabric of his shirt.

Noticing where Sehun’s looking, Luhan quickly retracts his hand, placing it behind his neck instead. “Ah, sorry about that.”

“What do you mean scared?” Sehun raises his eyebrows, sounding more offended than he meant to.

“Well, you always make a hasty exit every time you come across me. And whenever I come near you or touch you, you freeze up. Like you just did now.” Luhan gestures vaguely between the two of them, making a face. “Most people don’t find me that scary, frankly.”

“You’re not going to let me leave without an answer, are you?” Sehun asks, dropping his jacket and books onto his bed. At Luhan’s firm stare, Sehun sighs, giving up. Maybe the truth will scare him away.

“How do I even begin? Okay, if you didn’t already know, I’m the unluckiest guy you’ll ever meet. You might think that day we first met, I was just nervous about asking a cute guy for his number or I had a bad day. But that’s my entire life. I always have bad days. And I’d rather not embarrass myself further in front of you, which I’m bound to do the longer I’m in your presence.” The words tumble out quickly one after the other in a steady stream that Luhan somehow breaks down into an explanation.

It takes a while to sink in, but to Sehun’s surprise, Luhan’s initial reaction is the strangest laugh Sehun’s ever heard.

“So are you saying you’re avoiding me because you’re embarrassed?” Luhan asks after he calmed down. Sehun nods slowly, and Luhan laughs again, face folding up into a million scrunched-up lines, “Then you better get over your embarrassment. I don’t mind your misfortune at all. It’s interesting. And besides, I have enough luck for us both.”

Sehun crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow, masking the fluttering in his heart. “So now you’re bragging about your good luck?”

“We’ll even each other out. And I’d rather see you smiling at me than running away.” Luhan grins and sticks out his hand. “So let’s be friends, Oh Sehun.”

Sehun stares at Luhan’s hand like it has seven fingers on it. This has got to be the strangest way to start any friendship, relationship, or what-ever ship we landed ourselves into, he thinks.

Despite his better judgment, despite the dread growing in his stomach along with something else Sehun doesn’t want to name, something stupid and dangerous, Sehun wraps his hand around Luhan’s like it’s always meant to be there.

-

“He’s so nice,” Sehun bemoans, “And his eyes do this sparkly thing and it looks like there are fireflies trapped in them.” Sehun pauses, thinking. “But if I were a firefly, I wouldn’t mind being stuck in there. I’d probably see the world in his rosy, flowery perspective.”

Jongin mutters a few swear words and a hand shoots out from under the covers, blindly fumbling around until he finds Sehun’s face. He pats his mouth, and hisses, “Shhhhh,” because it’s one in the morning and Jongin regrets ever agreeing to be Sehun’s roommate. For the past few nights, all Sehun’s been doing is complaining about his Luhan problems, which consists of Luhan being too nice and friendly all the time. Yeah. Problems galore.

“But every time I see him, I just remember all the stupid things I did-”

“Shut up.”

Sehun whines, “But I agreed to be his friend.”

“Jesus,” Jongin groans into his pillow, mourning his beauty sleep. “Then don’t be.”

“But,” Jongin can hear Sehun pouting, “But I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”

Sighing, Jongin flips onto his side, pinning Sehun with a serious stare. “Feelings? How old are you, twelve? You two are adults now, no matter how hard it is to believe, so it’s not a big deal if you tell him you don’t want to see him anymore. Besides, Luhan’s a good guy. He won’t judge you on the stupid things you do. So stop worrying so much.”

“Really?” Sehun asks, biting his lip.

“Yes, Hun, really,” Jongin shuts his eyes, mouth fumbling around tired words, “I swear to god, if you don’t go and turn off the lights, I will personally skin you and hang you above the fireplace.”

“We don’t have a fireplace,” Sehun ekes out. When Jongin’s arm snakes out again, claws out and ready, Sehun jumps out of bed and flicks off the lights.

He falls back into bed with a heavy sigh, and spends the rest of the night dreaming about fireflies.

-

It’s weird how easily Luhan slips into Sehun’s life. Sehun contributes it to Luhan’s easy going nature and the way he makes people feel at ease. Luhan thinks they’re just compatible. Either way, the two of them hang out so much that Jongin’s been complaining that Sehun had stolen his friend.

And Sehun likes it. He likes spending time with Luhan, a little too much in the face of all the troubles he went through to avoid doing just that. Because Luhan makes him forget. Sehun forgets to be clumsy and unlucky and stumble his way through his day. Sehun forgets how he appears in front of Luhan because no matter what stupidity he comes up with, Luhan will always greet the younger with that trademark, warm smile of his.

That smile is the equivalent to a lollipop, Sehun thinks. He doesn’t have to wait until Wednesday to cheer up anymore.

On this particular Wednesday, Sehun’s standing in the kitchen of Luhan’s apartment, the one he shares with Jongdae. Luhan had somehow gotten the brilliant idea that baking was something they should try out and dragged Sehun into helping him make pumpkin spice pumpkin-shaped cookies that he found online because it’s pumpkin-ception, Sehun!

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Sehun starts off firmly because he has exams in two weeks and baking is really not on the top of his priorities, but grows weak when Luhan turns to look at him with that look, firefly eyes on full blast and bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly. He ends with a lame, “I don’t even know how to bake.”

“That’s fine! Neither do I!” Luhan chirps, cocking his head. Sehun suspects Luhan knows exactly what he’s doing. Squinting at the recipe on his phone, Luhan checks that they have all the ingredients. “Okay, we need to mix first. Grab four and three-quarter cups of flour and one teaspoon of baking soda.”

Sehun obediently fetches the ingredients while Luhan busies himself with preparing the rest of the mixture. It takes a while for Sehun to finish his task, but Luhan never rushes him. By the time he’s finished, Luhan rewards him with a gentle pat on his head, cooing, “Good boy.”

Before Sehun can react, Luhan’s turned away and starts stirring the mixture with a whisk, humming a melody quietly. Luhan leaves Sehun in the aftermath to touch the same spot he patted just moments ago. Sehun’s simultaneously shaken up, yet reassured by Luhan’s soft singing. Luhan’s voice stretches around him, warming him up like a comfortable, fuzzy blanket. Like an old friend he hasn’t seen in ages.

“Here, you try,” Luhan says and hands the bowl over to Sehun. Sehun somehow manages to not spill the mixture.

Leaning onto the counter with arms crossed, Luhan watches Sehun stir quietly. When Luhan wipes his hair out of his eyes and leaves a streak of flour across his forehead, Sehun’s hit with an idea.

“Ah, it’s tiring,” whines Sehun. He sets the bowl on the table.

“You big baby,” Luhan grumbles, but nevertheless reaches forward to take over.

Just as Luhan holds onto the bowl, Sehun quickly dips a finger into the mixture and smears Luhan’s cheek. At Luhan’s dropped-open mouth, Sehun can’t stop the giggles from erupting. Clutching his sides, Sehun points at Luhan’s expression. “You should have expected that.”

“I’m going to end you,” Luhan says through clenched teeth and scoops up a swirl to plant on Sehun’s chin.

The two of them stare at each other in silence, before lunging for the bowl and doing their fair share of painting each other’s faces and arms and any available skin with pumpkin-spice mix. Shrieks and laughter echo through the empty apartment, along with warnings to not break anything from Luhan, followed by a clank of cutlery dropping to the ground, courtesy of Sehun.

“No!” Luhan shouts, climbing onto the counter with the bowl in hand. “We have to make cookies with this!”

“That’s not what you were saying seconds ago,” Sehun quips with a raised brow. “C’mon, put the bowl on the table. It’s not fair.”

“Truce?”

Sehun pauses. “Fine. Truce.”

Luhan eyes him suspiciously. Slowly, he sits down on the counter, legs hanging off the edge with the bowl in his lap.

Right as Luhan’s arm shoots into the bowl, Sehun swipes a streak across Luhan’s upper lip, leaving behind a cream moustache.

“Wow,” Luhan wipes it off and gives Sehun a look. “What happened to our truce?”

“You were reaching for the bowl, too, don’t even,” Sehun says, laughing.

“That almost went in my nose, Sehun.”

Quick as a flash, Sehun bops Luhan’s nose, leaving behind a white dot. It cracks him up. “Now it’s on your nose, too!”

Rolling his eyes, Luhan puts the bowl behind him and away from Sehun’s hyperactive hands. Sehun doesn’t know what prompts him to do it, but he wipes the cream off Luhan’s nose and it. It’s a quick and simple action, but Luhan suddenly freezes up. Sehun glances up to see why.

He wishes he hadn’t.

There, etched on Luhan’s face, is something Sehun’s grown very familiar with. The slight furrow between his eyebrows, the dark eyes tracing his every move. He sees it every time in the mirror when Sehun’s thinking of Luhan in his tight wifebeater and ripped skinny jeans, or anything less. It looks tamer on Luhan’s features, but nonetheless startling.

“Hey, Luhan?” Clearing his throat, Sehun asks the first thing he can think of, “What’s with the baking?”

The dark look in Luhan’s eyes subsides. Thankfully.

“I always loved baking,” Luhan says lightly. He leans back on his arms. “My mom used to let me help her bake to calm me down. It’s therapeutic.”

Something lodges in the back of Sehun’s throat. He stills.

“Is it working?” Luhan asks softly, peering into Sehun’s eyes. Sehun swallows, glancing away so he can preserve what little of reality he can. “Does it help with the stress?”

It’s not fair. Luhan can’t switch from lust to whatever that was so quickly, so easily like that. He can’t notice Sehun’s stress with the approaching exams, even though Sehun’s usually so good at keeping his panic in check. It’s just not fair.

Nudging Sehun’s arm, Luhan grins, oblivious to his distress, “Are all you uni students like this?”

Sehun’s grateful for the distraction. An attempt at returning back to normal, Sehun manages a believable grimace, “Just about.”

“Don’t you ever lose your assignments?” Luhan tilts his head slightly. It’s a habit of his, whenever he asks a question that he really wants to know the answer to. Not that Sehun pays attention to things like that. “Like, with your curse and everything. Don’t things ever go awry?”

“That’s why I plan ahead. I make schedules and backup plans just in case something screws up. See, if it’s something I can prevent, I will. Living a life like mine, I’ve grown used to things happening beyond my control.” Sehun hesitates, fearing that he’s talking too much. At Luhan’s go-on nod, Sehun continues, “At the end of the day, I’ll only beat myself over something I could have changed, but didn’t.”

“So that’s why you work so hard all the time?”

“I guess,” Sehun smiles shyly. He’s not used to someone acknowledging how hard he works to achieve the marks he received, to get to where he is.

All of a sudden, Sehun feels a warmth on his head. Luhan’s patting him again, gentle repeating over and over.

It sends warm and fuzzy butterflies to the depths of his stomach, and when Sehun glances up, he knows exactly what’s displayed on his face. Pure admiration, pure puppy love. He doesn’t know how to protect himself, but it’s okay. Even if he will always get the short stick, even if he’ll always be the losing one in their relationship, that’s okay. Because Luhan will never hurt him.

“Good job,” Luhan smiles tenderly. “I’m proud of you, Sehun.”

It’s too much. Sehun glances away, face feeling hot and flushed and everything is just too much. His heart’s beating out of his ribcage, and with Luhan’s legs barely grazing Sehun’s stomach, he notices just how small Luhan’s kitchen is.

He can’t stop thinking about what will happen if Luhan just leaned forward. Which he won’t, because Sehun is a big, fat coward, because Sehun has stepped back and broke whatever it was between them.

“We better clean up, or Jongdae will have our heads,” Sehun laughs. He’s never sounded more fake.

Sehun scoffs at himself. The one thing Luhan’s been praising him about, for trying the hardest at the things he has the power to, is a joke. The proof lies in the number of chances he let slip today and the uncountable opportunities he’ll lose in the future.

-

Sehun should have known, should have been more careful ever since he started to forget what his dorm looked like without Luhan’s guitar and clothes lying around the ground, started to feel disappointed when he went a day without hearing Luhan’s voice. He had ignored the sinking, gnawing feeling in his stomach and tightening in his chest for way too long that now, it had morphed into something bigger than he can handle.

Because he knows if there’s one area he has the least luck in, it’s love.