I’m frustrated right now, really really frustrated and I hate myself to the moon and back. I have pinched myself and punched myself and even slapped myself but I’m still stupid. Why am I a big stupid and a loser? 

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I’ve been chanting that for a thousand times today and a million times for the past few weeks and a billion times for the days to come.  Ugh, stupid Taehyung and stupid me. We’re both stupid but I’m more stupid. Ugh. STUPID ME T.T

 

~~~°°°

Taehyung and I have been dating for seven years now and still counting. Back in high school, we we’re both each other’s first loves and first in everything so our relationship was envied by others and was treasured by us. It’s funny how we used to tease and to annoy each other just to get the other’s attention. We were the dog and cat, Tom and Jerry, in our classroom and ironically, we end up being together. People used to tease us, saying things like “We knew you like each other” or “You used to fight, now I’m not used in seeing the two of you being lovey-dovey, I just want to throw up” but we never mind them; instead, we became more lovey-dovey to annoy them.

 

Our confession was unplanned. During our Junior Prom, while we we’re dancing with our respective partners, me and Yunah, my partner, were laughing when suddenly Taehyung drag me outside, shouting at me and end up confessing to me. With a blushing face, I confessed, too. And we never returned to the Hall where the dance is held after that, instead, we stayed outside, in the garden with a fountain beside it, and hearing the music lightly, we had our last dance, we we’re each other’s last dances.

 

It’s funny how people reacted when Taehyung and I went to school together the next day, holding each other’s hands. They look like someone who saw a ghost with mouth gaping and eyes wide open. There were even a couple of girls who fainted, they can’t believe that we’re together for real but we just laugh it off, after all, we don’t need to pretend to hate each other and annoy each other because the truth is, we like each other to the point of doing the most evil way to get your crush’s attention and it’s a good feeling that we both confessed and admit our own feelings. Ahh, it’s nice to be in love.

 

We graduated in high school and went to the same university. I took up Engineering while Taehyung took up Psychology. Even though our buildings were on different ends, we still manage to eat lunch together and we also met amazing people who became our group of friends. Rapmon-hyung and Jin-hyung were my classmates in Math and when the three of us became group mates one time, we started to hang out together. I remembered how we spent an overnight in our house just to solve 20 items, finding what is x? J-hope hyung and Suga-hyung were Taehyung’s classmates with almost all his subjects so the three of them became close and ended up being friends. I remembered how I became jealous of the two and even asked them for a fist-fight. I also remembered how Taehyung laugh his off when I did that, while J-hope and Suga looked at me, dumbfounded. Taehyung ruffled my hair along with “Aigoo, my Jiminie is jealous? And how can you win with this two? You’re so cute~” and kissed me. I felt embarrassed at that, especially when J-hope and Suga realized what the matter was and burst into laughter. I remembered how I pouted that time and punched him lightly in the chest while he giggled. Jungkook was the last one to be added in the group. The six of us were eating happily in the cafeteria one day when suddenly, Jungkook went to our table and kissed Suga. We were all frozen, just staring at their connected lips. We were just brought back to reality when we heard a slight movement behind him and we saw a girl fainted with a couple of her friends assisting her. Jungkook got a black eye that day.

 

We graduated in our respective courses and got a stable job. After 18 months of working, Taehyung proposed to me. We were having a dinner date when he suddenly blurted out the word ‘wedding’ and I feel so happy that I wanted to say yes right away but then, I decline his proposal, saying I have to saved money and that I’m still happy with our current relationship. I’m still not ready to settle down. Taehyung accepted my answer and smiled, saying “I understand. I’ll wait until you’re ready” while squeezing my hand. “Thank you” was my response.

 

~~~°°°

But now, I’m frustrated. I want to break things and hurt myself for being stupid because after that, Taehyung didn’t mention wedding again and it seems that he’s enjoying what we are right now. It’s been a year but Taehyung didn’t propose to me again and thinking about that makes me want to cry. I want to settle down now but it seems as if the roles are switch and he’s the one who doesn’t want to settle down while I’m the one who’s desperate to do so TTTTT.TTTTT

For the past six months, I have hinted Taehyung of wanting to settle down but it seems as if he’s dumb and insensitive that he can’t even get the signal I’m giving him.

 

~~~°°°

 

My first hint was on Rapmon-hyung and Jin-hyung’s wedding, after seven months of Taehyung’s proposal.

“I didn’t know they will end up together.” I said to Taehyung, who was seated beside me as Jin-hyung was walking down the aisle while Rapmon-hyung was waiting for him.

“Me neither.”

“I want our wedding to be like this, too, like a fairytale.” Hoping he would get what I want, I look at him expectantly but was disappointed when he answered “Fairytale? Not bad, you look like a princess, Jiminie” and did not say anything afterwards. I just want to punch him in the face. 

 

The second one was when Suga-hyung asked our help in proposing to Jungkook, two months later after the wedding. They argued a lot in college, and Suga-hyung treated Jungkook coldly after the cafeteria’s incident but in the end, they fell in love with each other and now, they were following Rapmon-hyung and Jin-hyung’s path.

“Now, only Hobi-hyung and we were not married.” I laugh, and nudge him on the shoulder. Please, please, please....

“Yeah” And he just laugh with me. ///3

 

I gave him other hints when Hobi-hyung, after a month of Suga-hyung’s proposal, met Jiyah. The two of them were officemates and out of all of them, they were the only single in the office so they became the main victim in teasing. Jiyah, one time, brought her little sister on our double date and we were really fond of the kid. “Kids are so cute, I want to have one too.” I commented, Hobi-hyung and Jiyah laugh inwardly, maybe they get what was my intention but he answered “I can be your baby Jiminie!” Ugh, I’m going crazy ://///////

 

~~~°°°

 

But now, I am really pissed off and I just want to settle down already so after planning all the things that should be done, I contacted all of them, Rapmon-hyung, Jin-hyung, Suga-hyung, Jungkookie, Hobi-hyung and Jiyah to help me with this.

We went to Sky Hotel, where our Junior Prom was held and where we became a couple and sets up the table in the garden. I already contacted the hotel’s management and rent the whole garden for this event. I realize that if he’s not going to propose, then I will.

The seven of us work hand in hand in making the place beautiful, of course with the help of other people. I also contacted designers to design the place and requested the hotel to prepare foods for us. Taehyung is still in the hospital, his shift will end two hours from now.

There are also musicians to serenade us. I just want this night to be perfect.

When it’s thirty minutes before Taehyung’s shift ends, I called him. “Hey, can you please drop by in Sky Hotel? I have an important thing to tell you.” And without waiting for his answer, I hang up.

The six waited for him outside to guide him to me, while in blind folds while I wait for him in the garden. When I saw him, I motion to the musicians to start the music. Jungkookie unfolded his blindfold and when his vision adjusted to the surroundings, his eyes turn wide and his hands went up to his mouth.

“What’s this?”

I knelt in front of him and held up a red box with a ring inside it.

“I’ve been frustrated with you these past months because you just can’t understand the hints so now, I will be the one to propose because I can’t wait to be married to you. Marry me”

Taehyung’s eyes soften and he looked away.

“Sorry, Jiminie.....”

I feel my heart aches when he told me that, tears threatening to fall. I looked down and let the tears fall. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..... But I am the one who should propose to you.”

Stunned, I look up and he smiles at me brightly. He raises his right hand and the music changes. He help me stand up and his hands wrap around my waist while my hands found its way to his neck.

“I know you’ll do this one day... I get all your hints, I’m a Psychologist remember?” He told me, chuckling.

My eyes turned wide and I hit him on the arm. “Then why didn’t you propose to me?”

“I want to tease you and I want to make sure that you’re really ready to settle down.” He smiled to me and I smiled back.

He looked at me and started counting down.

“5”

“4”

“3”

“2”

“1”

I looked up to the sky to see fireworks above with the words, “Jiminie, will you marry me?”

“When did you prepare this?” 

“I already told everybody my plan and when you called them asking for help, they also contacted me. Everybody knew, except you.”

I looked around and all of them, including the musicians and the designers, have the same guilt in their eyes.

“So, you also contacted all of them?”

“Yes, even the hotel management knew.”

“How dare you!” And I punched him lightly. He just laughed.

Rapmon-hyung and Jin-hyung smiled at me while Jungkookie and Suga-hyung held their thumbs up sign at us. Hobi-hyung is busy wiping Jiyah’s tears but still smiled at us.

“So......?”

“So?” I mimicked.

“What’s your answer?”

“Is that even needed to ask? Of course YES!!”

And we kissed each other as the music plays and everybody cheers for us. 

 

Stupid Taehyung but a more stupid Jimin.

 

 --------

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