“You did what?” Soeun almost dropped the plate she arranged for their dinner.

Junho ignored her question and continued to play with Junwoo. He realised her eyes were still on him, staring at him like a hungry predator and ready to consume his soul. He sighed. “You heard me.”

“You left your very important meeting with a very important person only to return Po to Junie?”

“You heard me.” Junho repeated his answer indifferently. “I did return to his hotel to continue my presentation but they’re already left.”

He expected a laud roar from her but surprisingly she fell into eerie silent. He peeked at her from the corner of his eyes and saw her staring pensively at him. He left Junwoo to play alone in the living room and walked towards the kitchen to face her. “Juni was crying for Po and he refused to sleep without Po so how can I ignore the fact that Po was in my laptop bag.”

 “Why can’t you ignore it?” Soeun asked further.

“Po is very important for Juni and Juni is very important to me. I’ll do everything and anything for him…” Junho’s word stuck on his throat when she circled her arms around his waist and buried her face on his hard chest.

“You just lost your first project stupid.” She tightened her hold on him and trying very hard not to cry. Somehow she felt like she and Junwoo were a burden for Junho. “I’m sorry, you won’t fail if we are not here with you.”

Junho rested his chin on the top of her head and gently her back. “How can you know I will succeed if you guys are not here with me? I’m sure you were informed that we’re trying to acquire the land for one year but fail. Don’t worry, my father won’t be mad at me because I think he didn’t put high hope in my first project.”

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The next day they continue their holiday and visited almost all tourist spots on the island. Surprisingly, Junho didn’t feel any worried at all regarding his failure on his first project.

They wanted to sleep early that night because all of them were tired after spending most of their energy to go sightseeing. Junho went to his room and opened the drawer to take his medicines. He took all his medicines but only staring at the last bottle and contemplated to take the pill. He was dead tired and maybe he didn’t need to take the sleeping pill tonight. He closed his drawer and lay on his bed to sleep.

He was wrong when he thought his tiredness could be the best reason to have a good night sleep. The scary images started to flash in his dream again and continued to attack his sanity. He wanted to scream for help but he lost the control of his own body. His mind kept replaying the scenes that happen years ago and refused to stop.

He had to gather all his strength to get out from his own dream and finally he succeeded to open his eyes. His body was drench with cold sweat and there were traces of tears running down his cheeks. He had to stabilise his breathing to reduce the rate of his weak heart that threatening to explode. He slowly rise up to sit but then he realised there was a shadow beside his bed. He let out a loud yelp and immediately switched-on his bedside lamp.

He sighed in relief when he saw Junwoo was grinning at him. “Come here you little monster.” He called him and he immediately climbed the bed and snuggled at his body. “Did I disturb your sleep?” He was worried that maybe unconsciously he was screaming loudly in his sleep. But why Soeun was still asleep?

Junwoo shook his head and he looked at his face. His tiny hand that was holding Po, travel to his face to wipe his sweats and tears. Junho was touch by his little action and gently gathered him in his arms and hugged him tightly. They were both lying on the bed and Junho’s lips curved up a smile when he heard Junwoo humming his favourite song. The melody was out of tune and the lyrics were hard to understand but somehow, it could ease his mind. Slowly the volume of his voice started to become lower and lower until it vanished as the sign that he already got his sleep.

For the first time in his life, after years of depending with the sleeping pill every night, he finally managed to sleep soundly tonight. Weird, something that he never thought before, how could Junwoo make all his scary dreams go away?

.             

Soeun was frantically looking for his son because he was not on the bed when she woke up. She had search around the house but found no traces of him. There was only one place left to look for before she called the police. She slowly turning the door knob and opened the door of his room. There she saw her missing son sleeping soundly on the top of Junho’s chest.

She crawled on the bed carefully without making any sound to take her son off him but suddenly she was pulled by a big hand and found herself trapped beside Junho. He tightened his hold on her and brought her closer to him. Surprisingly he found no resistance on her side.    

It’s true that she had made up her mind to surrender to him. She was tired for all the pretence resistance to eliminate him from their life when her heart and feeling were aching for him.

Automatically she rested her head at the crook of his neck and put her arm around her son.

“Good morning.” Junho’s husky voice vibrated through her ear.

She looked up and saw he was smiling at her. She smiled back with a thin of shyness appeared on her face. “Did Junie disturb your sleep?”

“No, he did the opposite.” Junho’s smiling face slowly became sad and he turned his head to face the ceiling.

Soeun felt a tugged on her heart when she saw his sad face. It reminded her of the Lee Junho she saw when he first came to her office. She knew behind that shinning smiling face, lies something dark that unstoppably eating his heart. She wanted to share his burden and patiently waiting for him to open up at her.

“Soeun-ah, remember when we first came to the island and swimming at the sea?” Soeun nodding her head after she heard his question. “I know you were looking at me when I changing my cloths.”

“Yah! It’s not like what you’ve think! I’m not drooling on your perfect abs! I’m not a per-vert!” Soeun raised up her body a little bit to explain to him.

He smiled at her for a brief second and continued to stare at the ceiling. “I know you were looking at my scar.”

Soeun slowly lay back on his body when she sensed he was ready to tell her his story. How could anyone not notice a long surgical scar on his chest that very visible compared to his milky skin?

“I’m actually living with somebody’s heart.” Shock was clearly visible on her face but she chose to hear the rest of his story. “More precisely it belongs to my own brother. My whole existence resulted from sacrificing the life of my own brothers.”

“Brothers?”

“I actually have two more brothers in my family and I am the youngest. We were famous as the Jun brothers. My eldest brother is Lee Junsu and we call him hyung-nim. The second one is Lee Junsang and then it’s me, Lee Junho. Our family were very happy and our bonds were really strong. Hyung-nim was raised as the heir of the Lee family and his leadership was shown since his young age. Although we came from a wealthy family, our parents never fail to raise us with loves and care.”

“But then our happiness was ripped off cruelly thanks to me. I was seven years old at that time, hyung-nim was fifteen and Junsang-hyung was twelve. Every year, our parents would take us to go camping in the woods. My father already reminded us not to go near the river because of the strong current but I was so stubborn and asked my brothers to accompany me to the river. I just wanted to dip my feet in the river but the strong currents make me fall and drifting me away from the banks.”

“Hyung-nim asked Junsang-hyung to search for help then he immediately jumped into the river to save me. I thought I was going to die, I still remember the pain of breathing the water and not the air. Thankfully, hyung-nim managed to grab me and tried very hard to swim back to the riverbanks but it seemed so far to reach. Luckily we reached at a huge rock in the middle of the river and hyung-nim managed to grab a hold on it. He used all his energy to hoist me up on the rock and he tried to climb it but he has no energy left on him.”

“I can’t forget the last look he gave me before he surrendered to the strong current. As if he told me that he didn’t want to die but he was too tired to hold on. I scream calling out for him as I saw his lifeless body drifted away, I wanted to jump to save him but I was too afraid. I didn’t know what to do and crying out loud until my father found me. He also managed to found hyung-nim’s body stuck between the rocks and for the first time in my life, I saw my father wailing in agony while holding on hyung-nim’s flaccid body. He didn’t want to let him go, a few rescuers had to calm him but he still refused to let go and he even tighten his hold on him while crying. Junsang-hyung took my hand and we walked towards our father. He hugged his back and I followed him. We both joined him to cry and after a while, father let the rescuers took my hyung-nim and he hugged us tightly.”

Junho’s tears uncontrollably flowing from his eyes and he didn’t even tried to stopped it. Soeun gently wiped it away but her action seemed useless because the dam was already opened. 

“After that we tried our best to keep on living, losing our precious family member will always haunted our family forever. I can’t even get rid of the guilt for causing all this misery.”

“It’s not your fault. You’re too young…” Soeun tried to soothe him.

“It left a deep scar in me as I struggle to continue my life with the guilt. My family tried to help me by letting me doing whatever I like. They never force me to follow their path because we have Junsang-hyung as the next successor.”

“I chose to study outside Korea because living here will always remind me of hyung-nim. While studying oversea, I started to fall in love with music because it gave me a sense of peace and my family gave their full support at my passion in music. I thought everything was going to be okay, we won’t face anymore lost again but destiny was cruel to our family.”

“I was taking a break from my college and came back to Korea to spend a holiday with my family when I involve with an accident with Junsang-hyung. Junsang-hyung suddenly went out from our New Year’s party and the next morning he called me to fetch him from an apartment complex in Seoul. He looks so happy and his wide smile never leaves his face. Just when he’s about to tell me the reason for his happiness, our car was suddenly hit by a truck. We both suffered a major injuries, Junsang-hyung had a severe head trauma while my heart was severely damage. I don’t know what actually happen because I lost my consciousness as soon as the truck hit us.”             

Junho paused for a while as he close his eyes.  Soeun sensed his difficulties to recall what had happen. “You don’t need to tell me if it is too hard for you.” Soeun tried to calm him while gently rub his abs.

“No, I need to let it all go because I don’t think I can recall it again later.”

“Okay, just take your time. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Junho slowly opened his eyes and gazing at the love of his life. He gained his strength back after he was awarded by Soeun’s tender smile.

“When I woke up, I asked my parents about my brother. They told me my brother was suspected to have a brain death because from the preliminary diagnosis, the doctors found no activity in his brain-stem and he relied on the ventilator to breath. Whereas I’m in critical condition that only a heart transplant could save my life. My parents had to choose whether they want to give my brother more time and lose me or they send my brother away to take his heart and save my life.”

“Your parents had chosen a wise decision. Between hope and reality, if the price is the life of their son, I also will pick the same choice.” Soeun gently intervene to voice up her view.

“At first I can’t accept their decision. I’m already indebted my life with my eldest brother, why burden me more with another debt that I couldn’t bear? I lost all my will to live and refused to get help. I even refused to eat my medication so my heart started to show early signs of rejection. I almost lose my hope until my mother talk to me.”

Flashback

“Junho-ya, do you know what is the most terrible and cruellest experience for parents? It is to bury our child with our own hands. People said, the first experience will make it easier for the second one but why do I feel the opposite? It gets harder and harder to the point that I don’t think I can bear another lost. I know it is hard for you too, that’s why I can understand why you want to follow your brothers but please think about the people you will leave behind, your friends, families and… your parents. We only have you now, only you… and if I lose you too, I don’t think I can survive...”

“My mother makes me realised I can’t be selfish to think about me only. The one that affected the most is actually my own parents. Their grief is much greater than me. After thinking rationally, I finally found the purpose for me to live, that is my parents. I vowed to myself I will be a good son and always listen to them. I willing to sacrifice my love for music and focus on helping my father to manage his businesses. And now, I found another purpose in my life,” Junho make a pause again and gently pulled Soeun’s body closer to him “you and Juni.”

Soeun held her breath when her face just an inch away from Junho. She knew Junho was waiting for her answer but she was not good in voicing out her feeling. She wanted to tell him she needed him too, her life became more wonderful ever since she met Junho. Although she tried to supress her own feelings and desire, the result was fruitless. After hearing Junho’s story about himself, her love and respect to him grew exponentially. Slowly her hand travel to his cheek and she caressed it gently. She slightly lifted her body and chastely kissed his lips. She savoured the taste while Junho eagerly kissed her back.

Suddenly, the third person on the bed moved to warn them that he was in the process to wake up so they abruptly stopped kissing.

Junho’s ears turned red and Soeun laughed when she saw how cute he was when he tried to cover his ears.

Meanwhile Junwoo clearly looks confused at what had happen but he couldn’t help to smile at the happy vibe surrounding him. He immediately crawled to his mother and hugged her. Junho didn’t want to miss the group hug so he gathered both of them in his arms and they laugh heartily.

He couldn’t be any happier. For the first time in his life, he was glad that his parents chose him to live instead of his brother.

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Author's note: I read the comment's section and I know most of the readers are wondering about the mysterious delivery guy. I'm sure after reading this chapter, you guys will guess or be more confirm about the relationship between Junwoo's father and Junho. BUT I won't confirm anything yet, not until we reach the chapter that will reveal the identity of Mr mysterious delivery guy :)