Chanyeol's foot comes into contact with something warm and solid when he stretches out, still half-asleep. “Sorry,” he mumbles instinctively.

 

His eyelids slowly crack open, and he’s greeted with the sight of Joonmyun’s face soft in sleep and bathed in a golden light seeping through his bedroom curtains. Joonmyun looks like a dream, the kind that hurts the most after waking up.

 

Chanyeol wonders drowsily if Joonmyun is only a mirage because there’s no way for anyone to look that beautiful just by existing. He half-expects for his hand to pass right through when he rests his fingers on Joonmyun’s cheek. It feels like a small miracle when Joonmyun doesn’t dissolve under his touch.

 

Chanyeol’s hand passes from Joonmyun’s cheek to his chin, and he brushes the pad of his thumb over his bottom lip. Joonmyun’s mouth parts open automatically, allowing Chanyeol an unbearably intimate glimpse of white enamel shining in the darkness of his mouth.

 

“I’m so sorry, hyung,” Chanyeol murmurs, swallowing the tepid taste of cotton in his mouth.

 

“Stop….Apologizing….” Joonmyun croaks, his eyes still closed.

 

“How long have you been awake, hyung?!”

 

Ignoring his question, Joonmyun opens one eye to glare at Chanyeol. “Weren’t you supposed to sleep on the couch?”

 

“Huh. How did I end up here? I must have started sleepwalking again.”

 

“Back to your own comfy bed? How convenient.”

 

“I don’t know, but at least I’m here safe with you! One time I almost sleepwalked down the stairs.”

 

“How are you such a hazard to yourself,” Joonmyun groans.

 

“Good thing I’ve got you here to protect me, hyung!”

 

“Yeah okay.”

 

Chanyeol grins. Joonmyun is unexpectedly, but adorably passive-aggressive first thing in the morning. “Wanna get up?” he suggests.

 

“No.”

 

“Okay then, you can keep sleeping for however long you like, and I’ll get out of bed.”

 

“No,” Joonmyun refuses again. “You’ll hurt yourself if you leave this bed.”

 

“Don’t be silly, hyung. And how are you gonna stop me?”

 

Joonmyun grunts and rolls himself until he’s sprawled on top of Chanyeol, trapping him under the sheets. This isn’t so bad, Chanyeol decides. He wouldn’t mind staying in bed, blanketed by Joonmyun’s solid warmth a little longer.

 

Chanyeol tries to make conversation, but Joonmyun only answers in low, raspy mumbles that hardly resemble language. Eventually, Chanyeol gives up talking to him and focuses instead on remembering the texture and temperature of his skin.

 

Joonmyun shifts and frowns when he feels something hard digging into his thigh. He reaches down instinctively to grab it. Chanyeol gasps and shudders, jerking away from Joonmyun.

 

“I’m gonna get out of bed now, if you don’t mind,” Chanyeol grimaces.

 

A jolt of pain digs into Joonmyun’s temple and he closes his eyes to chase sleep again. It’s too early in the morning to make sense out of everything that happened over the past several hours, or what's happening right now. He drifts in and out of consciousness, waking up to the indistinct noise of running water and the low hum of a hair dryer before falling back asleep.

 

Even when Joonmyun is finally awake, it takes him some time to gather the momentum to haul himself out of bed. For a few minutes, he just stares at the black ink splotches on Chanyeol’s bedsheets. The sight of the dark stains is strangely endearing. Joonmyun’s mind reconstructs the image of Chanyeol drawing in bed and accidentally spilling ink from the tip of his cheap fountain pen he never quite got the hang of using.

 

Chanyeol is stirring boiling water into his instant oatmeal when Joonmyun finally emerges from the bedroom wearing one of Chanyeol's old t-shirts from high school.

 

“Good morning,” Joonmyun yawns, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Didn't want to wear the same clothes again. Hope you don't mind.”

 

“I don't!” Chanyeol says a little too quickly. “It looks good on you,” he adds softly.

 

Joonmyun makes a noncommittal little grunt and sits down cross-legged next to Chanyeol. He careens in his seat, leaning forward until he’s folded in half to rest his forehead against the coffee table.

 

“Are you okay, hyung?! Can I get you something to eat?

 

“I’ll have coffee.”

 

“Sorry hyung, I don’t drink coffee.”

 

Joonmyun lifts his head from the table to stare at Chanyeol in bewilderment. “You are really something else. Don’t tell me that you’re a morning person, too.”

 

“As a matter of fact, I am,” Chanyeol says proudly.

 

“You’re a monster.”

 

“I’ve been told.” Chanyeol grins, waggling his eyebrows, and Joonmyun gives him a good shove before burying his face in his arms.

 

“You’re taking me to Starbucks later.”

 

“Of course, babe.”

 

The words come off Chanyeol’s tongue so easily that it takes them both by surprise. Luckily, Joonmyun’s face is hidden in his elbow so that Chanyeol can’t see the sudden rush of heat to his cheeks.

 

“You have a car, right?” Joonmyun asks.

 

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

 

“So you can drive us to the park today?”

 

“Well, the thing is….” Chanyeol begins hesitantly, as though he’s picking his words with caution. “I did, but my car isn’t available for use right now.”

 

“You crashed your car, didn’t you.”

 

“It’s just being serviced at the moment!” Chanyeol says indignantly. “I don’t know why you have so little faith in me, hyung. Don’t you have a car?”

 

“I do, but I let Sehun borrow it on the weekend since he works out of town.”

 

“You trust him that much?”

 

“He pays for gas,” Joonmyun says simply.

 

“I see. We could just take a bus,” Chanyeol suggests.

 

A fleeting grimace passes over Joonmyun’s face, but Chanyeol doesn’t miss it. “What’s the matter, hyung? Don’t like public transit?”

 

“I’m okay with public transit, it’s just that every time I get on a city bus, people try to hit on me. They stand too close, or they try to ask me out and it makes me kind of uncomfortable.”

 

“Nobody’s gonna get close to you if I’m around,” Chanyeol promises solemnly. “You should maybe change your shirt though.”

 

“Why?”

 

Chanyeol doesn’t want to tell him that it’s because Joonmyun looks irresistible in a loose old t-shirt and messy hair.

 

“I’m going to take you somewhere nice for brunch,” he makes as an excuse. “Since we're going on a date and all.”

 

“Oh. Okay. I almost forgot that we’re dating now,” Joonmyun says, absentmindedly smoothing down the crumpled hair at the back of his head.

 

“Jeez, hyung. How do you think your boyfriend feels about you saying something like that?”

 

Chanyeol’s tone is light, teasing. But for some reason, it suddenly strikes him that pretending to be Joonmyun’s boyfriend is coming to him more naturally than dating Seohyun ever did.

“People must be going home for fall break,” Chanyeol comments, glancing at the suitcases squeezed against their knees on the bus. “Are you going home, hyung?”

 

“I’m still here, aren’t I?”

 

Nobody besides Chanyeol would laugh at half of Joonmyun's jokes, but it fills him with a strange kind of satisfaction when Chanyeol laughs at his half-assed attempts at humor.

 

The bus comes to a sudden halt, and everyone on it lurches and knocks into each other.

 

“I always take up way too much room on buses,” Chanyeol says apologetically. “I apologize in advance for how many times I’m gonna bump into you, hyung.”

 

Joonmyun can tell that Chanyeol’s long legs are cramped and that he’s trying his best not to accidentally elbow the person sitting next to him. “It’s okay,” Joonmyun says, linking his arm through Chanyeol’s elbow and pulling him closer. He rests his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder and whispers into his ear, “You can invade my space any time.”

 

“Godammit, why are you so good at this?”

 

“Good at what?” Joonmyun asks innocently.

 

“Being all couple-y and . It’s not fair.”

 

“In time, you’ll learn.”

 

“I always feel like everyone else has had relationships where they know exactly what to do like it’s a ing rom-com, but I’ve never been with anyone I could bring myself to do sappy with.”

 

“Chanyeol, not everyone experiences romantic attraction. You don’t have to force yourself to like it if it’s not your kind of thing.”

 

“But the thing is, hyung, I love that . I want to be in a cute relationship where we can hold hands and fawn over each other, but I just haven’t—”

 

“You haven’t met the right person yet?”

 

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

 

As the bus approaches their stop, Joonmyun reaches for Chanyeol’s clenched fist, fitting his fingers in the grooves between his raised knuckles. His small palm barely covers the top of Chanyeol’s fist.

 

“You can hold my hand, Chanyeol. As practice for when you meet the right person.”

 

Despite Joonmyun’s offer, Chanyeol doesn’t hold onto his hand when they’re walking side by side towards the park. Which is understandable, since they’re only pretending to date. Joonmyun knows better than to get his hopes up too high. But for some reason, Chanyeol keeps colliding into Joonmyun when they’re walking next to each other, bumping and jostling him gently almost like it’s intentional. Joonmyun decides that Chanyeol is just really bad at walking in a straight line.

 

“You know what would be cool?” Chanyeol announces out of nowhere.

 

“What?”

 

“If I could get a park named after me.”

 

“Oh?” Joonmyun says politely, even though he can feel the bad joke coming from a mile away.

 

“Yeah. I would call it the Chanyeol Park. Or maybe the Park Park.”

 

“Shut the up.” He’s laughing, but it’s mostly at Chanyeol’s sheer dumbness.

 

“Watch your language, hyung, there are kids around here,” Chanyeol warns.

 

They find a tiny decorative koi pond just past the playground, but Joonmyun restrains Chanyeol when he tries to get too close.

 

“What’s the matter, hyung?” Chanyeol laughs.

 

“You said that you wanted to go fishing. You can’t go fishing here.”

 

“I don’t even have any equipment with me!”

 

“You don’t need any more than your hands to go fishing.”

 

“Do you go fishing with your bare hands, hyung? That’s raw as .”

 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Chanyeol.”

 

Joonmyun tries to stare poker-faced at Chanyeol, but there’s that slow reveal of teeth that always makes Joonmyun’s heart stop and he ends up smiling too.

 

They sit by the edge of the pond, watching the fish swim around. Chanyeol keeps a polite distance between them, shifting when Joonmyun’s hand wanders too close to his knee. Soon enough, Joonmyun gets the message and keeps his hands to himself. He can’t help but feel a little bit disappointed, especially since Chanyeol had been so physically affectionate with him the night before.

 

Sunlight reflects from the tiny ripples of pond water, burning dark flecks into Chanyeol's vision. He blinks and looks instead at Joonmyun, who's staring at the sky while playing with blades of grass between his fingers. The sight of Joonmyun is somehow both soothing and exciting to Chanyeol at the same time—especially when he notices little things about Joonmyun he's never seen before, like the tiny scar on his eyebrow and the notes of red in Joonmyun's hair.

 

A fuzzy black caterpillar crawls by, and Chanyeol scoops it up in his hands and offers it to Joonmyun like he just knows that it’ll freak him out. Joonmyun yelps and scrambles away from Chanyeol, scraping his elbow against a rock and smearing grass stains onto his palms in the process.

 

“Put that down, Chanyeol!”

 

“Why, hyung?” Chanyeol teases. “It’s so cute! It looks like one of your eyebrows.”

 

“Stay away from me, Chanyeol….”

 

He tries to back away, but Chanyeol follows him. He picks up the bristly caterpillar between his thumb and forefinger and drops it onto Joonmyun’s head. Joonmyun pales and his entire body goes stiff. There’s terror in his eyes when he feels the caterpillar crawling towards his hairline and onto his forehead.

 

“Chanyeol….please….” he begs, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

“Stay still, hyung.”

 

With one hand on Joonmyun’s shoulder for comfort, Chanyeol plucks the caterpillar off of Joonmyun’s skin and releases it onto the grass. He’s about to tease Joonmyun for being chicken hearted when he realizes that Joonmyun is actually shaken.

 

“I’m sorry, hyung,” he murmurs, gathering Joonmyun into his arms. “I was just trying to tease you. I didn’t realize that I took it too far.”

 

“It’s fine, Chanyeol.”

 

Joonmyun rubs his elbow, which still stings from where the skin was scraped away. He applies more pressure to keep it from bleeding too much.

 

“Godammit, and you got hurt, too. Is your elbow okay?” Chanyeol asks worriedly.

 

“It’s just a scratch, I’ll wash it when I get home. It’s no big deal. You probably have worse injuries from playing football.”

 

“Yeah, but still. You got hurt because I was dumb, I can’t help but feel bad. Can I give you a kiss to make it better?”

 

“I’m not a kid, Chanyeol. And really, it’s okay, it doesn’t even hurt that much.”

 

“Can I give you a kiss to make me feel better?”

 

“Oh. Um, in that case, sure.”

 

Chanyeol tilts Joonmyun’s chin up and closes his eyes, and before Joonmyun realizes what’s happening, he’s tasting the cinnamon gum Chanyeol had been chewing on in the bus. Chanyeol’s tongue slips into his mouth, and Joonmyun’s jaw goes slack. Chanyeol’s hands are shy, nervous as they smooth over the nape of Joonmyun’s neck and slide into his hair. And then Joonmyun feels the tip of Chanyeol’s tongue tracing the ridges at the roof of his mouth.

 

“What the was that?” Joonmyun asks, gasping for breath.

 

“I told you I was gonna kiss you, hyung.”

 

“You didn’t say it would be that kind of kiss!”

 

“Do I need to specify?”

 

Joonmyun just grumbles under his breath and tries to stand up. His knees crack, like an old man’s. “I’m going back to the playground, Chanyeol. You can find me on the swings if you need me.”

 

“Wait, hyung,” Chanyeol laughs, still sitting on the grass. “People will think you’re weird.”

 

He ignores him and continues walking towards the playground without a glance back in Chanyeol’s direction.

 

Joonmyun smiles at the toddler on the swing next to his. She nods solemnly back at him and then leaps off the swing, brushing the mulch off her knees before running to the jungle gym instead. He watches as children scamper around him, letting his mind wander aimlessly.

 

It's been long enough that Joonmyun wonders if Chanyeol left the park without him when he he sees out of the corner of his eye someone settle onto the neighboring swing.

 

“Hot dog?” Chanyeol offers. He has several bundles of tinfoil in his arms with a handful of red and yellow packets balanced on top.

 

“Just how many did you get?”

 

Chanyeol frowns as he counts, “One….two….four….seven!”

 

“And how many were you planning on eating?”

 

“I can eat an indefinite amount of hot dogs, hyung. I was gonna grab three for each of us, but seven is a nicer number than six.”

 

“A nicer number.”

 

“Yeah, it's all prime and . Besides, good things come in sevens.”

 

“I haven't heard that one before,” Joonmyun chuckles as he grabs the top three hot dogs from Chanyeol's pile.

 

“Have you heard of Pleiades, the Seven Sisters?”

 

“I don’t think so. Tell me about it.”

 

Chanyeol's posture suddenly changes—he leans forward in excitement and looks directly at Joonmyun. The wild grin that appears is alarming and adorable in equal measures.

 

“It's a cluster of stars that you can see from just about every inhabitable place on Earth. They're called the Seven Sisters because of Greek mythology and , but most people only see six of them. It's been used as an eye test, and some people can see even up to twenty stars!”

 

“Oh, that's really cool.”

 

“Yeah!” Chanyeol agrees enthusiastically. “The Seven Sisters have been used for centuries as a timekeeping and navigation tool since it's relatively visible to the eye.”

 

He goes on to explain how to find the star cluster relative to other constellations Joonmyun vaguely recognizes. Joonmyun nods and makes noises of interest, even though Chanyeol loses him after “make a V next to Orion.”

 

More than anything, Joonmyun is following the barely contained excitement in Chanyeol's voice and the passion shining in his eyes. He's not even aware of how broadly he's grinning until he feels his cheeks start to pinch.

 

Suddenly shy, Chanyeol apologizes, “I got a little too excited there, I didn't mean to bore you with my nerd talk.”

 

“I don't mind. Tell me more,” Joonmyun says genuinely. He doesn't understand all of it, but he adores watching Chanyeol gush about things that matter to him. “What's your favorite constellation?”

 

Chanyeol takes a deep inhale and flashes Joonmyun that utterly disarming grin before continuing.

 

“It's not exactly a constellation, but when my dad let me use his telescope for the first time on my 11th birthday, the first thing I identified on my own was the planet Jupiter. So I'd say that Jupiter is pretty special to me.”

 

“Do you have your own telescope now, or do you still use your dad's?”

 

“I've got my own now, of course! But usually I use the ones that the school owns. Have you ever been to our school's observatory, hyung?”

 

“I haven't actually.”

 

“There's this bigass telescope in the middle of the physics building that's powerful as hell. We're not allowed to use it without permission, but it's the coolest ing thing. We could go take a look at it, if you want! I mean, only if you're interested, I don't want to make you bored or anything….”

 

“I'd love to,” Joonmyun says with a genuine smile.

 

Chanyeol grins back at him with a hotdog stuffed in each cheek. “Thanks, hyung. I'm not used to anyone actually wanting to listen to me ramble about my nerd hobbies.”

 

A swarm of pint sized children crosses into their path when they're walking towards the gate of the playground.

 

“Aren't they cute, Chanyeol?” Joonmyun asks, and he waits expectantly for Chanyeol to make a comment.

 

“Yeah, I guess….They're small, like thumbs.”

 

“Thumbs? That doesn't make them sound cute at all.”

 

“Yeah, kids aren't really my thing, hyung.”

 

“Is it because of your size, Chanyeol?”

 

“No, no, it's not my height that intimidates them or anything. I'm actually more scared of kids than they are of me.”

 

Joonmyun nods sagely. “I'm tutoring a class of elementary students downtown, but they're a sweet bunch of kids. I think you would like them if you met them.”

 

Chanyeol is about to insist that he really doesn't care for children, but something about Joonmyun's hopeful expression makes him change his mind.

 

“I'd love to, hyung.”

 

They aren’t lucky enough to get seats this time, so Chanyeol is holding onto an overhead strap with one hand and Joonmyun's waist with his other hand. It's crowded on the bus, but Joonmyun feels safe nestled in the crook of Chanyeol's arm.

 

“Hyung!” Chanyeol suddenly cries out.

 

“What's the matter, Chanyeol?”

 

“I just realized I never took you to brunch.”

 

“Don't worry about it, you bought me hot dogs, remember?”

 

“Yeah, but I want to take you somewhere nice for a real meal.”

 

“Are you sure you need practice dating, Chanyeol? You seem like a pro to me.”

 

“That's because it's you I'm dating, hyung.”

 

Joonmyun is silent, and Chanyeol asks, “Was that too much, hyung? I’m sorry, I didn’t even know that I was capable of saying something so cheesy. I’m actually cringing just thinking about it. Let’s pretend that never happened.”

 

Joonmyun laughs softly and says, “I don’t mind cheesy.”

 

His answer seems to satisfy Chanyeol, who hums to himself and guides Joonmyun out of the bus with his hand on the small of Joonmyun’s back.

 

“By the way, hyung,” Chanyeol says when they’re outside their apartments. “I know we spent pretty much all day together, but I hope you wouldn’t mind hanging out with me again tomorrow.”

 

“Of course I don’t mind! I would love to spend more time with you.”

 

His heart swells with happiness, and it starts to sink in just how much he loves being around Chanyeol. His smile that takes up his entire face, the twitch of his nose when he laughs, and the way that he’s profoundly ridiculous and ridiculously profound in equal measures—Joonmyun can already anticipate the pain of missing these parts of Chanyeol.

 

“Okay, good,” Chanyeol continues excitedly, “because I signed up for a 5k tomorrow and I think it would be a lot of fun if we ran it together.”

 

“Wait, hold up,” Joonmyun laughs.

 

“It’s just for charity, so it’s not competitive! Not unless you want it to be.”

 

“Why do I have the feeling that you’ll make it competitive, Chanyeol.”

 

Chanyeol grins sheepishly and asks, “So you’ll join me, right?”

 

“I don’t know, I haven’t been training to run a 5k.”

 

“But I see you jogging all the time?”

 

“You do?”

 

Chanyeol’s eyes suddenly go wide with alarm. “I mean, I’ve seen you once or twice,” he explains. “Not all the time, that makes me sound like I’m a stalker or something. What I mean to say is that I can confirm that you have definitely exercised at least once or twice, which is more than enough preparation to run a 5k. Probably. Ah, I’m rambling again.”

 

“You’re so cute,” Joonmyun giggles, and the flustered look on Chanyeol’s face is enough to make him want to steal another kiss.

 

“You’re cuter,” Chanyeol mutters.

 

“Why don’t we continue this discussion inside?” Joonmyun suggests. “You haven’t been in my apartment in awhile.”

 

“You’re right, I haven’t! Can I see your room, hyung?”

 

Joonmyun thinks about the piles of dirty laundry littering the floor of his bedroom and decides, “Maybe next time, Chanyeol.”

 

“Wow, your apartment looks just like mine, hyung! Except that.” Chanyeol points to a mirror hanging in the foyer. “We don’t have a mirror there.”

 

“Yeah, Sehun installed it so he could do a final appearance check every time he leaves the house.”

 

“I don’t know much about Sehun, but….”

“That’s pretty much all you need to know about him.”

 

“You guys seem close.”

 

“We put up with each other,” Joonmyun shrugs. “We’ve put up with each other since we were little kids.”

 

“Damn, how long have you guys known each other?”

 

Joonmyun looks up at the ceiling as he counts back the years.

 

“About eleven years? We’ve gone to the same school since elementary school.”

 

“And now you’re at the same college. That’s actually incredible, hyung.”

 

“Speak of the devil….” Joonmyun mutters when he hears the front door creak open. “Hey Sehun, what’s up?”

 

“Sup, hyung,” Sehun drones. “Hey, Chanyeol, what are you doing here?”

 

“I was just trying to convince Joonmyun-hyung to run a 5k with me tomorrow.”

 

“Oh, the one around campus that’s for charity? I joined a team with my soccer friends.”

 

“You play soccer?” Chanyeol asks at the same time Joonmyun asks, “You have friends?”

 

Sehun narrows his eyes at Joonmyun and explains, “I’m not on the team, but I’m close with some guys on it. Have you met Jongin, hyung? He has the same last name as you, but I don’t think you guys are related. He’s gay, just like you, hyung. I’ll introduce him to you sometime.”

 

“Okay, thank you, Sehun,” Joonmyun says quickly. He grabs a few bills out of his wallet and shoves them into his roommate’s hands. “Why don’t you grab us a pizza for dinner?”

 

“Sorry,” Joonmyun apologizes when Sehun has left. “The thing about being childhood friends with Sehun is that sometimes he turns back into a child when we’re together.”

 

“Maybe that’s why you’re so good with kids,” Chanyeol suggests, “since you’ve had so much practice with Sehun.”

 

“That’s true,” Joonmyun chuckles. “So what time exactly does this race take place?”

 

“I knew you’d agree to it, eventually!” Chanyeol says triumphantly, clapping his large hands on Joonmyun’s shoulders.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got nothing better to do tomorrow anyways.”

 

“Don’t worry, hyung, I promise that we’ll do something more romantic next weekend.”

 

Chanyeol chatters away about next time—where he’ll take Joonmyun for their next date and the one after that, but Joonmyun is already thinking about the end. He reminds himself that he can’t let himself get too happy or else it will hurt even more when Chanyeol wants to stop playing pretend. It’s inevitable, that Chanyeol will leave him with only the memory of what it might be like to fall in love. Joonmyun doesn’t mind, since it’s nice to play pretend sometimes.

 

“Thank you for today,” Joonmyun says quietly when Chanyeol is about to leave.

 

He hovers by Chanyeol as he’s tying his shoes, and he reaches out for a hug when Chanyeol stands up again. Chanyeol holds onto him so tightly it’s almost as if he's trying to communicate how much he doesn’t want to let go. Joonmyun doesn’t want to let go either. But when he finally pulls away, Chanyeol’s eyes are trained on Joonmyun’s face, half-lidded and flitting from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes again. Joonmyun can tell that Chanyeol has been biting his lip from the way his lower lip is shiny and red and a little more swollen-looking than usual.

 

This time Joonmyun closes his eyes first and stands on his tiptoes to bring his lips up to Chanyeol’s, steadying himself with his hands on Chanyeol’s chest. It’s tamer than their kiss from before, but Joonmyun’s heart is gulping and constricting when he feels Chanyeol’s chapped lips move gently against his. He takes a peek at the mirror hanging on the wall to watch their reflections kissing, and it’s like a reminder that they’re really here, that this is really happening. They may only be pretending to be in love, but in this moment of weakness Joonmyun lets himself believe that it’s real.

“I don’t trust guys that wear shorts that short,” Sehun mutters into Joonmyun’s ear when they’re gathered at the starting line. He looks pointedly at Chanyeol’s tiny mesh shorts that are clinging to his barely-there and exposing most of his thighs. “And why are you guys both wearing fanny packs?”

 

“They’re not fanny packs, they’re handwarmers!” Joonmyun protests. He slips his hands into the fabric sleeve strapped around his waist to demonstrate. “I wanted us to match somehow, to show, you know, team spirit. You and your soccer buddies made matching t-shirts, so Chanyeol gave me one of his handwarmers so we could match.”

 

Chanyeol had explained that as a quarterback, it’s important for him to keep his hands flexible during football games, so he wears it to keep his hands warm while he’s waiting on the sideline. Right now, Chanyeol doesn’t seem too concerned about the chilly autumn weather. He’s wearing only a tank top and his conspicuously short shorts, compared to Joonmyun’s black compression turtleneck and running tights. Joonmyun’s also has on a pair of earmuffs on top of his beanie to protect his ears from the cold, but the tip of his nose and his cheeks are already a chilly red.

 

Surprisingly, Chanyeol doesn’t talk much when they’re warming up. Despite what he said earlier, Chanyeol seems to be taking the race seriously. There’s an edge to his dark eyes that Joonmyun has never seen up close, a sharpness like hunger. When he notices Joonmyun watching him, Chanyeol lifts one of the pads from Joonmyun’s ear and says loudly, “Is everything okay, hyung?”

 

“It’s fine, Chanyeol, I can still hear you with my earmuffs on. Are you excited for the race?”

 

“I’ll try to slow down for you, hyung, so you won’t have too hard of a time keeping up. It’s only three times around campus, but we can walk the last lap if you want to.”

 

“There’s no need to hold back, Chanyeol,” Joonmyun assures him. “You can try to win if you want to, I’ll just finish the race at my own pace.”

 

“I don’t care about winning,” Chanyeol declares, but he looks relieved. “Those soccer guys are pissing me off, though. Especially that one.”

 

“Which one?” Joonmyun asks, glancing over at the horde of tall, sinewy men wearing black t-shirts with “WE’VE GOT BALLS” lettered on their chests.

 

“That one.” Chanyeol glares at the tan-skinned soccer player waving shyly at Joonmyun. “The hot one that Sehun introduced to you.”

 

“Jongin is pretty handsome, isn’t he?”

 

He’s only teasing, but Chanyeol scowls, “Yeah, I’ll admit he’s kind of good looking, but football players have more stamina.”

 

“Do they really, though?” Joonmyun asks doubtfully.

 

“I’ll show him when I win this ing race.”

 

Chanyeol’s sense of competition turns out to be one-sided when he easily passes the soccer players, who are walking the whole race, like most of the other participants.

 

“I knew that there was no way that Sehun would actually run an entire five kilometers,” Joonmyun pants, moving his feet quickly to keep up with Chanyeol's longer strides. “I don't think you need to worry about losing to the soccer team.”

 

“I don't wanna lose to anyone else, either,” Chanyeol grunts. He pumps his arms harder to accelerate, and Joonmyun sighs before taking quicker steps to follow.

 

They’re ahead of the entire pack when Chanyeol looks down in surprise to find Joonmyun still by his side. “You’re still here, hyung? You’re keeping up pretty well.”

 

Joonmyun beams and runs ahead of Chanyeol, who’s breathing heavily from his full-out sprint for a head start. Chanyeol hisses when he feels a sharp, jabbing pain in his side and slows down to a jog. He watches Joonmyun shrink in the distance without even a glance back at Chanyeol.

 

“No need to hold back, hyung,” Chanyeol groans.

 

Joonmyun is waiting for him behind the finish line with a first place medal around his neck and his hands stuffed in his handwarmer. Sunlight reflects from the cheap plastic gold, making it glint tauntingly at Chanyeol.

 

“Way to go, Chanyeol!” Joonmyun cheers as he watches him stagger across the finish line. “I’m afraid there aren’t any medals for 26th place, but way to finish strong!”

 

“As long as I beat those soccer bastards,” Chanyeol wheezes, blinking the sweat out of his eyes and doubling over in exhaustion.

 

“You sure did, Chanyeol. And you looked really cool coming across the finish line just now!”

 

“Oh yeah?” Chanyeol murmurs. The corner of his mouth tilts up in a half-smile. “What can I say, your boyfriend’s a ing champion.”

 

Joonmyun takes off his medal and drapes it around Chanyeol’s neck instead. “You sure are, champ.”

 

There’s an entire table piled with post-race snacks for the runners, and Chanyeol pushes through the mob as Joonmyun waits at the outskirts of the crowd. He emerges triumphantly a few moments later with his hands full of bagels and bottles of Gatorade tucked in his elbows.

 

“Plain, blueberry, or cinnamon chip?” Chanyeol asks.

 

“I’ll take the one that you don’t want.”

 

“Come on, just choose one you like. Don’t try to be polite, hyung.”

 

“Fine, then I’ll take the one that you like the most.”

 

Chanyeol frowns and scrutinizes the bagels in his hands for a few seconds before offering Joonmyun the blueberry bagel.

 

“Joke’s on you, hyung,” he snickers when Joonmyun takes a bite. “Because the blueberry one was the one I wanted the least.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, joke’s on me,” Joonmyun agrees, as if it wasn’t his plan all along.

 

They eat in silence, standing among the crowd of participants and spectators, Chanyeol standing guard as people approach Joonmyun to congratulate him for finishing in first place. Sehun, Jongin, Yixing, Lu Han, and a few other guys he doesn’t recognize give Joonmyun high-fives, ignoring Chanyeol hovering behind him.

 

“Can I have your number, hyung?” Jongin asks shyly, holding his phone out for Joonmyun to enter his contact information.

 

“Here you go, Jongin. See you around!”

 

“See you too, hyung! And you too, Chanyeol!”

 

When Joonmyun is waving goodbye to his friends, he glances down and realizes that Chanyeol’s fingers are linked through his.

 

“How long have we been holding hands?!” Joonmyun exclaims, staring at their clasped hands in consternation.

 

“There's a lot of people around,” Chanyeol mutters. “I have to make sure I don't lose you in the crowd.”

 

“But you've been standing right next to me this entire time.”

 

“I have to make sure nobody tries to steal you away from me.”

 

“I'm all yours, Chanyeol.”

 

Joonmyun beams up at him, smiling in the way that creases his cheek and shows all his teeth. Even though it feels like they're reading from a script of what people in love are supposed to say, at the same time Chanyeol doesn't feel at all like he's putting on an act when he steals a kiss from Joonmyun's cold, flushed cheek.

The first thing Chanyeol does when he's back in his own apartment is to hang Joonmyun’s medal on the player of the year trophy he won as a starting quarterback his freshman year. He has many more trophies just like it, but they're locked up in a glass case in his parents’ basement. After a while, the glittering gold plaques and trophies start to lose meaning after they’ve accumulated behind glass walls. But for some reason, Chanyeol treasures the cheap, gaudy medal as something precious that he’s earned.

 

He tosses his clothes into the hamper and is about to start running the faucet when Chanyeol hears a knock on the door. He wraps a towel around his waist and calls out, “Gimme a second!”

 

Joonmyun immediately starts apologizing when Chanyeol greets him with only a towel around his waist. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize—I’ll go back to my apartment, I am so sorry.”

 

“Wait, hyung.” Chanyeol catches him by the wrist before he can turn around. “Come on in, what’s the matter?”

 

He closes the door behind them, and Joonmyun tries very hard to not stare at Chanyeol’s bare chest and arms. It’s a test of willpower, but he dreads the thought of violating Chanyeol’s trust by being by him.

 

“I was gonna ask if I could borrow your shampoo, since Sehun used up all of ours.”

 

“Sure, hyung. And if it’s more convenient, you can just take a shower in my bathroom so you don’t have to make another trip to return it.”

 

“Really?” Joonmyun asks, perking up like Chanyeol has offered him a real kindness.

 

Chanyeol likes that about Joonmyun, how he makes him feel like every little thing he does is special. Joonmyun makes him feel like he’s something special, and it’s a new feeling Chanyeol can’t get enough of.

 

“Go ahead, hyung, it’s no big deal.”

 

The burst of warm water on Joonmyun’s skin relaxes him instantly. There’s nothing like a warm shower after running in cold weather. He squirts shampoo into his palm and inhales its scent. It reminds him of Chanyeol. The soap he glides over his skin also reminds him of Chanyeol, and he’s so caught up in the intimacy of using Chanyeol’s products that he doesn’t realize that the man himself has entered the shower until the curtain is sliding back, letting hot steam escape.

 

“Hyung, are you okay?” Chanyeol asks, and Joonmyun yelps in alarm, almost slipping on the porcelain tiles.

 

“What are you doing, Chanyeol?”

 

Chanyeol slips into the shower stall and murmurs, “You were in here for a while, so I wanted to make sure you hadn’t passed out in the shower or anything.”

 

“Is that something that happens to you often?”

 

“Once or twice, yeah.”

 

“I’m surprised you’ve managed to survive living on your own.”

 

“It’s lonely, but I’m still alive. I’m not so lonely anymore though.”

 

Chanyeol pushes his bangs away from his eyes and grins indulgently at Joonmyun. His arms are slick and glistening, and his wet black hair sticks to his forehead and ears. Joonmyun’s frozen in place, his mind a static buzz. Chanyeol chuckles quietly and reaches towards Joonmyun’s face to wipe the suds off his cheeks. The way that Chanyeol’s looking down at him through his wet, dark eyelashes is enough to make Joonmyun melt. He rests his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder and his hands on Chanyeol’s smooth, contoured chest.

 

“You got impatient, didn’t you?” Joonmyun asks quietly.

 

“Hmm?” Chanyeol closes his arms around Joonmyun, pulling him closer until their wet, bodies are pressed together. He can feel Joonmyun’s heart beating faster, but he decides not to comment.

 

“You were too impatient to wait for me to finish my shower,” Joonmyun continues. “That’s why you came in.”

 

“What? Oh—yeah. Sure.”

 

For some reason, it almost feels like Joonmyun is trying to reconstruct the truth so it fits within some mental boundary of his. But for Chanyeol, any kind of boundaries between them have long since vanished.

 

“Then I should get going. I’ve used up enough of your hot water, Chanyeol.”

 

“Oh, um, okay. Do you have clean clothes?”

 

“No,” Joonmyun groans, realizing just how silly and impulsive it was for him to shower in Chanyeol’s bathroom.

 

“Then you can borrow mine, hyung. You can wear my clothes and hold my hand when I’m too scared to hold onto yours first, and you can sit in my lap, hyung, so that everyone knows that you’re mine.”

 

Joonmyun hears the sound of Chanyeol’s voice, agonized and clear, but the words that he’s saying are incomprehensible, and Joonmyun fails to notice the weight of Chanyeol’s confession to him.

 

It’s then that Chanyeol whispers, “I love you,” and the bittersweet happiness that Joonmyun feels is enough to tear him in two. He stays silent because Joonmyun knows that if he says “I love you” in return, he would actually mean every word.

 

“It’s only been a weekend,” Joonmyun mumbles eventually, looking away from the expectant expression in Chanyeol’s eyes. “You don’t say ‘I love you’ if you’ve only been dating for two days. Even if you mean it, the other person won’t believe you. Words are cheap, Chanyeol.”

 

Chanyeol’s face falls for a moment, and then he pieces a painful smile back together. “I’m so glad that we’re fake dating, hyung. Otherwise I would have learned that the hard way!”

 

“Yeah,” Joonmyun agrees.

 

The air between Joonmyun and Chanyeol is thick and heavy with opaque white steam and unspoken words. Hot water beats down on them, masking hot tears running down wet cheeks.

 

 

A/N: thanks for reading!!! please stay tuned for the next update ^^