20 YEARS AGO

"Lee, let's end this. I want to get divorced." I look at him right in the eyes tears streaming down my face. I can see his sudden change of expression even through this rain. He was heartbroken and so was I . But it will be better this way for me and him. 

"What?! Why?! Did I do anything wrong?! Please tell me i'll make it right. seyoul don't do this to me. I beg of you." He held me ao close and so tight making both of us more soaked than we already are.

I fight my urge to hug him back and I just stand there tears still streaming down my face. I hear his sobbing making my heart tear to pieces. it hurt like hell not being able to hold him in my arms and say everything will be fine. but I can't. I can't because if I keep loving him like this he will just get hurt in the end.

"Lee, let me go." I say to his shirt since he's hugging me. 

"No, seyoul please tell me what I did wrong. Please give me an explanation of why you're doing this. Seyoul I love you so much. please don't do this." He screams as he held me tighter and tighter.

I got to do this. for the sake of his family and for the sake of him. I brace myself of what I was going to say next. I dropped a tear. And got his arms off of me and held it between mine and looked at him. taking all of his features one last time. I saw his expression of hurt,sadness and confusion. It pained me to see him like this. It hurt me even more knowing that I was the reason for this. And I know I can't do anything because I will only hurt him more if I kept loving him. 

"Lee, I never loved you. I just liked you because you were rich. Now that you made me rich as well I don't need you anymore." I looked at him and saw his expression was nothing.

He looked at me dead in the eye and saw my expression, nothing. not even a single sign of hurt was showing because I knew that if I make him see me in pain he would do anything and everything to get me back. He's still staring at me and I keep myself from looking pained or anything at all. I keep myself expressionless and wait for him to say anything.

"Seyoul, did you really? did you really just loved me for my money?" He keeps on sobbing saying this. It hurt like hell when he is asking this. I want to answer him no. and say that I didn't mean anything I said. I want to just answer him no and just explain everything to him. but I can't because it would just make him more miserable if I kept loving him.

"Y- yes, I only loved your money and not you. I was happy that you made me rich. but now I can handle myself I don't need you anymore." I look at him keeping my expressionless face .

I watched his expression as he take it all in. He was broken. He looked like he had just saw a ghost. He was speechless. He looked so hurt. If was all my fault. 

"Why?!Why do you have to hurt me like this?! Why did you bave to pretend to love me after 10 years?! Did I ever do anything to you?!" He shouted everything at me. It was fine for me because I knew that this is best for both of us.

I felt like I was the lowest of the low. I want to explain everything to him and just say that it will be alright. I can't look at him anymore. I look at the puddles of rain that is forming at our feet.

"Really? you're not even going to look at my face?" I can hear his voice rise and rise with anger and hurt. he is breathing heavily now because of anger.

I let a few tears drop while I was looking down so that he could not see me. It hurt like hell that I am hurting him like this. I prepare myself making sure that I was expressionless again.

"I will make sure to send you the papers this month and let you sign it. I will give back everything I owe to you. and I also already packed up my thing from your place. I had my things delivered to my new home right about now. I am sorry for the inconvenience I had given you."  I look at him one more time and his face had many expressions even I could not read.

"Fine, I will do what you want to do. I can't believe I ever loved anyone like you! " He says to me in the eye and he walked back to his car.

I was left alone in the pouring rain crying my heart out after he drove off. I hate myself. I hate that I didn't fight for our relationship. I hate that I had to lie to him. I hate myself and everything that I had done. Even though this was for the best I dtill want him to be mine. I still want to love him more and more. But I can't. I want to tell him that I have his child that he's supposed to be a father. but now I can't. I am the only one who only knows about this not even my family knows anything.

"You kept your word I see" I heard a familliar voice coming towards me.

"Are you happy now? are you happy that I left your son Chong Yun?! I look at him dead in the eye. shouting every last word with anger from my body.

-end of chapter 1-