As he said, I didn't turn my television on. He knows exactly what I'm felling if I saw his gossips on tv.

After he left for Japan, all I can do was just looking up the calendar. Now just 28 days I had for this fake relationship.

"Just confess to him," that what was Sherine saying when I was asking what should I do now.

"Is that easy for you?" I asked her back.

"Oh my God, Rika. For what I seeing now, this is just too obvious that you have a feeling for him,"

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are!"

I just sighed and lay my body to her bed. I was in her dorm now. It just too hard for me to spend my all time just by myself. I need a brain for this situation, and I don't think I can believe my own brain.

"Come on, Rika. Those jealousy faces you have, that blushing cheeks, those messages, and from what I seeing too, I think he has a feeling for you too!"

I smirked. "I don't think, so. It is just an acting, Sherine. If you said this is real, you can see how he did that act too good with that Yoona girl,"

"That's different, Rika,"

"What-oh-so-different, Sherine? This is just an agreement too, just like that cf shooting and stuffs,"

"But this is not for business,"

"This is for a business, but not for money,"

"You know that!"

"I knew it, this is not for money, but hello, he got the advantages from this, right? I mean, not all the happiness you get from the money, and from this relationship-business thing, he got my caring and else. I mean, this is the same with that television stuff,"

"Ah gosh!!! You are so stubborn!!"

I sighed.

"Then what will you do?? Just keep it alone? Keep seeing on him and act and you don't want him to know about this?? And you just want to hurt yourself alone??"

"It's not like that, Sherine,"

"It will be like that if you don't do that confession thing!"

I stood up now.

"I better go home," I said and walked to the door.

Sherine followed me. "Rika, I know that it would be not easy to say love to anyone, but it better for you to do it. If he has the same feeling, it will be good for you two. But if he doesn't have the same feeling, it would be better for you, so you can move on and forget those things you have with him,"

"I will think about it," I nodded.

"Remember one thing, Rika. Don't think too much, or you will lose your best opportunity,"

I smiled to her as I waved my hand. "Bye, Sherine,"

***

I was laying on my bed now. I can't sleep. My mind just flying up upon my head. I wanted to catch that minds and try to puzzled it. But it was just too hard for me to understand what I want now.

I was not a person that easily confessing about my feeling. I mean, this is just too hard for me to say about what's on my mind to others, and specially for my feeling.

Suddenly my phone was ringing.

One message.

I was hoping this was not him, but that name appeared on my screen.

"I know you are still up, go to bed, Rika-chan. I miss you, already!"

I sighed. My chest was hurt now. Why he has to be like this? Acted perfectly to be my lover? I mean, if he doesn't have a feeling for me, just don't do this, don't make it looked to be too perfect.

I felt my eyes tearing now.

Oh my God, Rika. Please not now.

My phone rang again.

Him again.

"Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you're sleeping already. Sorry for bothering you. Once again, I miss you,"

I hate him now.

Why it has to be too hard for me to hate him for doing this??

I held my tears. I saw my messager notification.

Sherine.

"Just do your best now, Rika. While you're seeking for the best time to confess. Just stay away from regretting,"

I sighed.

Okay, I'm doing my best now.

I typed my message to him.

"I'm missing you badly, here. That's why I'm still up this too late at night,"

I sent that to him.

I just need a second to get the reply. How technology made it easier to communicate with other people from other country.

"That's why I'm loving you, now. Sleep, my Rika,"

How good he acted, right?

I was happy by what he acted. As much as I felt bad by it. It felt that he distracted me too much, as much as I was so happy by what he did.

He's my guilty pleasure yet my pleasant distraction.