hola! yes i’m still alive and i’m so sorry for updating just now ><  actually this chapter was finished 2 or 3 months ago but i didn’t have the courage to post this because damn too much word vomit. I felt so bad for making you guys wait, but the thought that this chapter would just disappoint you took over me so… yeah huhuhu T.T

btw i’ve started writing the last chapter. i can’t promise to upload it soon but i promise to finish this sequel. i’ve been losing my motivation to write for a while, i hope i get it back soon.

keep your expectations low and happy reading! and happy fasting to my muslim readers~~~~ <3

(this is the unedited version. i’ll fix the mistakes later, i promise)

“Good morning, everyone. I’m Byun Baekhyun, a new trainee, and I—”

“Hi, Baekhyun! My name is Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol.”

“Yah, hyung, let this new guy talk first.”

“Guys, shut up.”

Baekhyun chuckled. “And I hope we all can get along well.”

Baekhyun takes a shaky breath upon arriving at his destination, one hand still gripping his steering wheel tight. The tiny pieces of snow are drizzling outside, piling up to form a blanket of white on any flat surfaces. It is probably the last snowfall this winter, he thinks, and his mind unconsciously wanders to the time when a certain tall man gave him a piggyback ride to SM Entertainment building in one midnight after he clumsily slipped on the snow and sprained his right ankle on their way from a small eatery nearby. And before he can help it, his memory takes him to another winter day when the same tall man wordlessly took off his winter coat and scarf only to put them on him because, apparently, he was not wearing a proper set of clothes for winter.

Tsk, memories.

Heaving out a sigh, Baekhyun puts his forehead on the steering wheel and closes his eyes. He is supposed to leave his car, get inside the building, and be with Kyungsoo—as simple as that—but there is just this small voice at the back of his head that is holding him back from doing so.

Probably because it has been long, around eight years or so, since he last set his foot in the building that contains tons of unforgettable memories.

The sandy brown haired man was once at this point of being broken beyond repair after the disbandment of EXO and his separation with Chanyeol, so he did not need any reminder of those painful turns of life events, one of them being SM Entertainment building, if he wanted to move on. For the past years, he has been literally staying far from SM Entertainment building, rejecting every single invitation from his friends and juniors to come to that company, in hope to fully heal his wounds and start anew. To some people, it is actually considered rude to always say no whenever you are invited to a meet up by people who are close to you, but thankfully most of Baekhyun’s friends understood, or maybe sort of had a guess about what had happened to him, so they just let him reject but never stopped their invitations.

He did want to completely forget the past and be someone with a new heart, but he would be a fool to say he succeeded.

Mending your broken heart after losing the tie with your dearest friends and letting your greatest love go is not a walk in the park, but nobody needs to know that, right?

Does he miss Chanyeol? He always tells himself no, but deep inside his heart he knows he misses him terribly. Yes, even after all these years. Does Chanyeol miss him, too? He does not want to know.

This morning, though, he made an exception in his routine of avoiding SM Entertainment building. Kyungsoo, who told him on the phone yesterday that he would have a vocal practice tonight for his upcoming musical, is turning older in less than an hour, and it has been ages since they celebrated his birthday together. Thus, here Baekhyun is.

Come on, Baekhyun. You can do this.

He always passes by this building whenever he is in Seoul, intentionally or not—like picking up or dropping Kyungsoo off a few cafés away after or before their meetings, but to really be inside the building again… this is going to be his first time after so long. It seems like Heaven has been siding with him to forget his sad ending love story because never once has he caught a glimpse of Chanyeol since that day he fully blocked the taller man from his life, while in fact—according to Kyungsoo—the composer often paid a visit just to see the rookies of SM Entertainment.

Come on, Baekhyun. There’s nothing to be worried about inside.

After some prep talk, slowly, with another deep breath, he steps out of his vehicle and locks it.

Looking up at what is presented before him, he feels the corners of his lips turn upward in a small smile. Standing elegantly tall a few meters in front of him is the well-known SM Entertainment building, a place that took a big part in making him who he is—who he was. That building is a place where millions things happened to him back then—things that caused him to laugh and shed tears, things that taught him about no pain no gain. Once being a part of SM Entertainment, one can safely say that it is a place where the friendships between trainees do not always end up in them debuting together in a group like how they have dreamt, a place where lack of sleep is not accepted as the reason of one’s mistake in practicing, a place where one can open numerous doors of chances to have a big name in the showbiz as long as they are willing to sacrifice in the process.

However, unknown to many, Baekhyun still sees it as a place where stolen kisses and calming hugs in the corridors or practice room from a certain someone in his former group could mean a lot to him. He never said it out loud, even when still in EXO, that those little things were like his holy source of energy to go through an entire tiring day when the group was still kicking.

Baekhyun, stop it. You’re here for Kyungsoo.

Not wanting to be drowning in another sea of mind-numbingly painful memories, he quickly shakes his head and lowers his view to the entrance of the building. It does not take long before he finds himself arching his brows in amusement at some groups of new faces crowding in front of the blurred glass doors of the company with big-lensed cameras in their hands.

Some things just never change.

There are at least about twelve girls with no sign of needing warmth on their faces standing there despite the chilly January night plus the falling snow, and although the disbandment of EXO was a long time ago, he still knows what those teenagers want—a glimpse of their favorite idols coming in or out of the building, or better if they could have some interaction with them and snap some candid photos that can make the international fans go havoc.

He understands this very well; he used to be their target too after all. He still has his own fans tailing him on some occasions, of course, but at least it is not as troublesome as what he had to go through during his EXO days.

His small eyes then catch a small group of what seems like junior high school girls squinting their eyes at him, studying him from head to toe, before one of them whispers something to her group, probably wondering about his identity. The only girl with glasses in that small group then turns around to the older-looking girls behind her, and from what it looks she is probably asking them about him as well. Those girls then start asking each other, stealing glances at him, some of them even getting their phones and checking him back and forth. It seems like his mouth mask and beanie are doing great job in disguising himself.

Choosing to ignore those fans and just focus on his initial intention of coming to SM Entertainment building, he ducks his head low and walks straight to the doors. He can hear the noises behind him—loud whispers, muffled squeals, and the shutters of cameras—but he does not even spare them a glance. He is here only for Kyungsoo.

On his way to this building earlier, he convinced himself that this visit to SM Entertainment would give no effect to him, that he would act like what he had been doing all this time. He convinced himself that he would feel nothing anymore—at the thought of EXO, at the thought of Chanyeol. He convinced himself that he was ready.

Controlling his mind to think that he is doing completely good is becoming easier day by day, but would his heart let that illusion last long?

Upon reaching the doors, however, he cannot help the nostalgic feeling that is unceremoniously tripping him into the memories of his idol days.

His effort to forget everything for the past decade has just turned into ashes. Everything suddenly comes pricking at his heart in a nanosecond.

It cannot be stopped; it is uncontrollable.

Chanting in his head that he is stronger than himself in the past, he quickly bottles up his wandering thoughts and raises his hand to press the button on the intercom machine… only to have the doors opened from the inside already. He does not have the time to recover from the mild shock of hearing the beeping sound of the doors as he sees who is coming outside.

The shock only feels doubled.

This must be a dream! No no no!

For a moment, he cannot hear anything other than the sound of his thumping heart, of his inward denial of what is happening… simply because that person before him is Chanyeol.

Park Chanyeol.

It is him, someone wearing a navy blue knitted sweater who used to be the man of his dreams, yet also the one he has been avoiding at all costs the most for years.

It is him, now with an armful of a sleepy, very healthy-looking little girl in cute pink Hello Kitty themed winter jacket.

It is him, and he is looking back at him with the same amount of surprise in his round eyes, seemingly recognizing who he is even without him removing his mouth mask and cap.

In a heartbeat, Baekhyun can hear the heated argument between his brain and heart. The former wants to just pretend they are strangers without memories and greet Chanyeol in a very normal way without regarding the obvious changes between them, but his heart is screaming that he needs to give it a chance to heal for real by stopping to be a masochist and simply interacting with the taller man the way they used to, something he always refused to do in the past years.

“Daddy. Home,” the little girl whines in her cute sleepy voice after realizing that she has been stuck in that spot for a few seconds, burying her face more in the crook of Chanyeol’s neck. “Sleep.”

Daddy?

As if on cue, out comes a gorgeous woman clad in branded winter clothes whose face Baekhyun knows very, very well, carrying a medium-sized yellow baby bag organizer over her shoulder. Despite the late hour, the lack of makeup, and her messy bun, her natural beauty is still blinding.

It is Dasom, the one he gave his world to.

Probably sensing her appearance, the little girl turns to her and gives a cute pout. “Mommy. Home.”

With a lump in his throat and shaky breaths, Baekhyun’s eyes move to look at those three—at Chanyeol who is still staring at him intensely, at Dasom who has her head tilted in question at the sight of him, at the adorable little girl in Chanyeol’s arms, trying to connect the dots, before he lets out an inaudible gasp behind his mouth mask and feels his eyes sting in cruel realization.

Daddy.

So, she isn’t…

Everything he heard back then was false. The rumors were false.

What he believed was false.

“Baekhyun?”

His heart unexpectedly skips a beat at the deep baritone voice calling his name.

Dasom takes a step closer, her brows rising. One second later, her rosy lips split in a big smile, and Baekhyun can hear the sound of numerous shutter buttons pressed furiously behind him, definitely from the fangirls. “Baekhyun oppa? Is that really you?”

No! No no no! This sudden attack planned by Fate is too much for him. Why now?

It has been years after Chanyeol’s marriage, so he thought it was over—that everything he felt for Chanyeol was almost over; he thought he was doing well and it would not hurt anymore—that meeting Chanyeol face to face or hearing his voice would not hurt that much anymore, but what is happening to his poor little heart right now is a clear indication that he is really still not over him.

Who is he kidding?

Baekhyun is feels so out of place; these three people in front of him look so good together.

Can’t you see the perfect family Chanyeol has?

Blinded by his overwhelming emotions, Baekhyun ducks his head and takes a step to his right before slipping into the building, walking past the family without even uttering a word to them. He is pretending he never knew the parents, never even talked to them before. With moist eyes, he just keeps on moving his not so long legs straight into the waiting elevator, continuously pressing the close button and ignoring Dasom who is calling his name again and again.

He cannot let them see his tears.

He cannot let Chanyeol see that he still can get very emotional at their encounter because the giant will figure out that he actually has feelings that he is trying to hide. All this time, he has been building up an image of a strong Byun Baekhyun who can do well without a certain Park Chanyeol in his life. He cannot ruin that now, can he?

Hastily rubbing his pooling tears away, he pretends that he cannot hear how he little voice in his head is telling him that this accidental encounter is the door to so many meetings with Chanyeol in the future. He does not give a about that right now; he just wants to be as far as possible from his ex-lover who already has a child from his marriage with Dasom.

God, this is too much.

“Chanyeol, do you think our debut will be successful?”

“Wha—of course! We will be the best rookie group this year! As long as everyone in the group does their best, I’m one hundred percent sure that we—”

“I’m so nervous. I’m actually afraid that I’ll make a mistake during our showcase tomor—”

“Baek, hush. Don’t jinx it. You’ll do great tomorrow, okay? Now go to your room and sleep. We have to wake up super early tomorrow.”

“But—”

“Believe in yourself like I believe in you. Can you do that for me?”

“But I—”

“You’re not alone tomorrow. I’ll be with you.”

“I—Okay. Goodnight, Chanyeol.”

“Night, Baek. Sleep tight.”

“Baek? Baekhyun?”

The said man jumps in his seat, blinking innocently. “Uh, what?”

“Okay, you weren’t listening,” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, flicking through the channels again. It is Saturday night and he has no schedule, so without second thought, he invited Baekhyun over to binge watch some DVDs or just spend the night karaoke-ing with him in his luxurious apartment. On his birthday three weeks ago, Baekhyun told him that he had stopped going on overseas trips, deciding to just settle back down in Seoul again, so these days the actor does not have to match their schedules too often to have a quality time with his best friend.

He could not be more grateful for that resolution. He could not be more grateful knowing Baekhyun has stopped running away.

However, being observant as always, he has already detected that something is off with his best friend since the moment the latter stepped into his living place tonight, and he knows that he should confront him as soon as possible. This is not the broken Baekhyun he knows; this is something… worse. “What were you thinking about?”

The slightly taller man flashes him a small smile that is merely a slight pull of the corners of his lips. “Nothing.”

So fake. “Nothing, my ,” Kyungsoo settles on a rerun of KBS Music Bank and leaves for the kitchen, gathering all the food supply needed for their movie night. Once done, he claims his previous spot again at the other end of the couch Baekhyun is sitting in and does not wait long to start his interrogation, a big bowl of salted popcorn placed in the gap between their thighs. “You know you can’t lie to me, Byun Baekhyun. Come on, spill. It’s no use to hide things from me.”

“It’s really nothing, Soo,” Baekhyun grabs a handful of the popcorn made by his best friend and stuffed them into his mouth. He moans in exaggerated bliss. “Wow, why can’t you be my wife? I’d love to taste this whenever we watch a movie together.”

“Baekhyun, look at me.”

“Ugh, seriously. This is heaven.”

“Baekhyun.”

“You should teach me—”

“Byun Baekhyun!”

Realizing he has no room to escape from the elephant in the room, Baekhyun just lets out a sigh and slumps against the backrest in defeat. He clears his throat, eyes gazing up to the ceiling. “I met Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol. As expected. Kyungsoo mutes the television to give the other his full attention. “Yeah. You told me that already when we were celebrating my birthday, which was last week. You met Chanyeol, Dasom, and her niece—”

The actor’s eyes widen as he is slowly processing where their conversation might be going. God, don’t tell me…

“Yeah. I met her niece, too. She called him daddy. Remember when I nonchalantly told you a rumor about them having a baby on an online forum? Remember how I told you I also thought that she was just Dasom’s newborn niece because I was confident that Chanyeol was still in love with me? It was so ing stupid and naïve of me to believe that the birth of his daughter was just a cheap rumor.”

Kyungsoo is not dense; he is actually pretty skillful in reading between the lines. This time, too, he knows that Baekhyun’s far too casual tone is hiding his true feelings. He is sure of it, but his best friend does not like to be seen as a weak man when it comes to heartache, so he is waiting for the signal from his best friend to comfort him and take the sadness away.

That is why when the first tear makes its grand appearance on Baekhyun’s cheek which is quickly followed by the rest, Kyungsoo instantly pulls him in a tight embrace. Fallen bowl of popcorns and cans of coke be damned.

“He has a child, Soo” Baekhyun closes his eyes, a sad smile growing as more fresh tears keeps falling. “He has a very adorable little girl from his marriage with Dasom. His own daughter. Their daughter.”

“Baek,” Kyungsoo can feel his own eyes getting moist as well. This is the moment he has been dreading the most for the past few years, the moment Baekhyun realizes the bitter truth about Chanyeol. He remembers how he himself choked on his lemonade and was frozen in his seat for a good ten minutes after the news of Heejin’s existence was delivered through an evening showbiz news program.

He knows for a fact that after a disbandment of an idol group wherein any of the members chooses to not pursue a career in the showbiz anymore, public would not really be interested in that member’s ordinary, post-retirement live anymore. And just like that, Dasom’s marriage life was hardly reported in mass media, leaving people in the dark about her progress with Chanyeol. Weeks after their marriage, people seemed to have forgotten about her and her husband.

That day, however, Dasom was once again caught by cameras going out of Chanyeol’s apartment in the morning, looking beautiful as always despite her casual clothes and the absence of makeup, a tiny bundle of newborn baby in her slender arms.

It caused a big fuss in an instant, with fans demanding some clarification and reporters buzzing in front of the entrance of Chanyeol’s apartment building, since no one had seen it coming for they barely caught a sight of that ex-member of SISTAR lately. Surprisingly, though, no one really talked about it the next day two days. The dating scandal of a new rising actor with a girl group member was considered more interesting by everyone.

At first, Kyungsoo also assumed that the little ball of cuteness in Dasom’s arms was just her niece, like what had been narrated by the reporter, but then he accidentally met Sehun in a bubble tea shop and was given the heart-shattering truth.

The dance tutor excitedly told him she, Park Heejin, was Chanyeol’s daughter.

From that day on, never in his life had Kyungsoo tried so hard to not let the cat out of the bag whenever he was talking with Baekhyun on Skype.

Funny how Fate took a very long time for Baekhyun to clarify that Heejin was not just a niece as stated in the rumor created by the fans or media, but perhaps this is what is best for everyone. The solo singer met Chanyeol’s daughter after eight years of being drifted apart, and those years were supposed to be enough for the beautiful man to swim again on the surface and feel the sunlight.

Unfortunately, the revelation harshly sank him back to the bottom of the sea instead.

“Baek, I’m sorry I also hid the truth from you. I just… I thought… I’ve seen how you struggled to keep your happy mask on after their wedding, so I didn’t have the heart to add salt to your wound. I’ve seen how you coped with everything and still tried to go through your days just fine, so I thought it would be best to just help you feel better and move on. I’m sorry for never saying the truth. I’m—”

“You’re not at fault here,” Baekhyun forces out a weak chuckle, wiping his wet cheeks with his delicate fingers, still appreciating being in Kyungsoo’s arms. “All these years, I could’ve asked him myself about the progress of his marriage with Dasom, but I chose not to. I could’ve known the truth—everything if I wanted to, but I chose not to. I shut him out. I willed myself to never as much get curious about how he was doing. The picture of Dasom carrying Heejin in her arms was all over the internet—I even saw it, dammit—but at that moment I was too busy forgetting everything related to Chanyeol, so I didn’t ponder on it too much and just believed the headlines.”

“Her name is Park Heejin, and she is four years old.”

Not wanting to leak more, the sandy brown haired adult just closes his eyes tight and bites his lower lip hard.

Kyungsoo tightens his arms around the still shaking figure, understanding that from today on he will be seeing another Baekhyun again—the one who has completely lost and given up. Before the news, Kyungsoo also believed that Chanyeol was still into Baekhyun, but it seems like he was wrong. What made his ex-groupmate change his preference, he has no idea.

On the other hand, he is never blind and deaf when it comes to Baekhyun. All this time, just by looking into his best friend’s eyes, Kyungsoo knows that no matter how loud the beautiful singer laughs, he is still not happy, and that no matter how often he shed tears, the sadness inside him only grows yet he always tries to cover it up with his bright smile.

And now… well, Kyungsoo does not know anymore.

He was there, witnessing how Baekhyun’s infatuation on Chanyeol developed into something more worth smiling all day long for, how he often openly ignored Chanyeol’s signals for him to do some fan-services so that he would not fall deeper for the tall rapper and risk their career, and how sometimes he lost control over his gaze and smile at the sight of Chanyeol goofing around in front of their fans. He was there, always.

He knows every single thing that happened in Baekhyun’s love life; they are not best friends for nothing.

Kyungsoo saw how Baekhyun would always gravitate to Chanyeol whenever they were in the safety of their dorm, how he would seek for comfort in Chanyeol at any given time possible whenever the cameras were off, and how he would secretly do little things for Chanyeol to make the latter smile, and vice versa.

Even before hearing that his two friends finally admitted that they were in love, Kyungsoo had already been used to see them always being there for each other, through thick and thin. More often than not, they stuck with each other no matter what, even when claiming their seats in their van. Together they pulled a prank on their friends, screamed their lungs out watching horror movies Jongdae chose, even sneaking out at night to buy fried chicken for a homesick Jongin. They were so attached at the hips that sometimes Kyungsoo could not really remember if their occasional serious fight had actually happened or not.

Their pure, beautiful love was one of so many pleasant things Kyungsoo had the chance to see in this world.

Then one day, Chanyeol’s mother caused a hurricane and Baekhyun simply gave up, not even fighting for them at all. The one thing he remembers his best friend had promised would never do, he did it in the end.

If only that break up did not happen, everything would still be rainbows and unicorns for them.

Eyes never lie, Kyungsoo agrees, because although Baekhyun always tells him that he does not care about Chanyeol anymore, he knows his best friend knows his heart will always belong to and is still longing for the married man. That is just how deep in love his best friend was with the towering man. One thing he does not quite understand here is why Baekhyun sacrificed his own happiness by letting go of something he once said he could not live without, which surely is not the easiest task in this world.

“Be honest. Are you still in love with Chanyeol now even after knowing that he has a daughter?” Kyungsoo asks in his softest voice once the other man has stopped crying, fully aware that this is such a sensitive topic, his fingers carding through the other’s locks.

“I… Soo, I—honestly I still love him but it doesn’t really mean that I want him to be mine,” Baekhyun lets out a sigh, rubbing at his swollen eyes. “His mother will never approve of us, and now… he has a wife and a daughter. I still love Chanyeol in a sense that I’m happy to see him happy even if—”

“You can’t let go of him because deep inside you still hope that you two could be together. That’s the real problem here,” he cuts him off. He is tired of hearing the same explanation, but he cares too much about Baekhyun to leave him to handle this problem alone. “I can read you better than anyone else, Baekhyun. Stop making a fool out of yourself.”

The said man still has his head pressed on the actor’s shoulder.

“Baek, as your best friend of course I love you so much, and you have no idea how much it hurts to see you torturing yourself like this,” he tenderly kisses the other’s temple, trying to stop the tears. The pain caused by the whole fiasco seems to dig deeper than he thought it would. “Now, listen. I believe someone better will come into your life someday, give you the wonderful love you deserve, and show that it doesn’t always end in an awful heartbreak. Let Chanyeol go, because like you said, he has a wife and a daughter already. Open your heart for someone else, Byun Baekhyun. There are other fishes in the sea, you know.”

“But—”

“I know it’s not easy. Heck, moving on is not even supposed to be easy, considering how far you two have gone through, but it’s the only choice you have here.”

“I—I don’t know, Soo. I just… Everything feels so… so surreal here, like, am I in a dream? And…” Baekhyun sniffs, his cheeks getting dry. “Now that everything is clear, that I really, really stand no chance to be with—”

“Wait—damn, wait. So you’re saying that until a few seconds ago you were still hoping to get back to Chanyeol even with his status as a father?”

“—I thought you realized that I was still confused with my own feelings? I thought you knew a part of me still wanted him back but at the same time I knew I couldn’t be a home-breaker? You told me you knew me better than anyone else.”

Kyungsoo shrugs absentmindedly, releasing Baekhyun from his hug as he realizes that the latter’s tear duct has stopped producing tears. “Yeah. I just wanted a confirmation.”

“Soo, please,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “You owe me a pizza for acting dumb.”

Trust Byun Baekhyun to have mood swings in a snap.

The doe-eyed man does cannot really tell if his best friend is feeling better already, but at least he seems like it. That is all that matters to him for now.

It is in between bites of pepperoni pizza that Baekhyun promises the slightly shorter man to be completely out of love with Chanyeol as soon as possible. He promises he would try his hardest.

“Baek, here is your porridge.”

“Thanks. You should go to the dance practice now, you’re late already.”

“Do you need more blanket?”

“No—”

“Do you want me to turn on the heater, Baek?”

“No. Just go, Park Chanyeol.”

“Do you—”

“Chanyeol!”

“Okay, okay. I just… Will you be okay here in the dorm alone?”

“I’m just having a cold, not dying, you doofus.”

“But—”

“Chanyeol, trust me. Manager hyung is already on his way here to take care of me, so stop worrying.”

“…Fine. Dance practice is so not going to be fun without you, Baek. Promise me to get better soon?”

“Yes, mommy.”

Baekhyun can feel his headache coming.

He was supposed to do some grocery shopping to refill his refrigerator and overhead cabinets, maybe stocking up his toiletries as well, but when he opened his wallet to check if he brought his credit card with him, he got the shock of the day.

His old wallet is the one in his pocket, while his brand new one that is filled with cards—credit card, identity card, you name it—is probably lying innocently on his coffee table in his living room after he moved the contents of his old wallet in it last night. How smart of him to not even check which one he brought before going out to his schedule for the day, right?

It would not cause a problem if only his old wallet had at least some cash in it which would be enough for some grocery shopping. Sadly, much to his dismay, his old wallet proudly shows a piece of five thousand won instead.

“Good job, Baekhyun. Good job,” he says to himself, giving a forlorn look at the mountain of items filling his trolley. How forgetful of him to have left his house without his new wallet? What if anything happened to him earlier and he did not have his identity card with him?

Going back home now just to retrieve his new wallet seems too much of a trouble since he is already too tired after singing at three different big events today, not to mention that the distance between his apartment and Homeplus is about twenty EXO’s songs away.

Dropping his shoulders in defeat, he starts to put the items in his trolley back to its rightful place on the shelves. A grown up man in a well-tailored black suit arranging some items back on the shelves in a supermarket, that must be a sight worth to be snickered about. That is his last concern, though. “Sorry, buddies. I’ll just come back here tomorrow and pick you guys up.”

It is when he is walking through the snacks aisle with two bags of honey butter chips in his hands that he feels his heart skip a beat before beating frantically against his chest, as if wanting to run away.

Fate’s jokes are always the cruelest.

There is a very familiar figure before him in the snacks aisle, one who has put Baekhyun through many phases. There was a phase when he used to look at that towering man and think how lucky he was to have him, there was a phase when he could not even look at him from afar or hear his name without feeling all the pain he has put him through, and now… it is a phase when he cannot even pinpoint the exact feelings he has for him. He has done his best in removing the remnants of Chanyeol in his life after the harsh revelation, but why does his heart still react like this at the mere sight of him?

Is he really still in love with him even after knowing that he is a father already?

Baekhyun mentally shakes his head no. Dammit, I can’t. I shouldn’t!

Seeing Chanyeol again makes the unpleasant memory when the tall man was in an argument with his mother come back, one that eventually led Baekhyun to conclude that it was better to put their relationship to an end. At that time, he knew he loved Chanyeol so much, but he was rational enough to realize that if he kept his relationship with Chanyeol, it would only ruin the latter’s family and, no, he did not want that. At that time, he knew that Mrs. Park being homophobic was not something that he could change overnight, just like what had happened to his own parents, so he chose to let go of Chanyeol, even though it hurt like hell.

And now, a few steps in front of him is a black haired Chanyeol in dark blue jeans and a black cardigan over a plain grey tee, crouching down and talking at eye-level with a pouting little girl he remembers as the one the taller man was carrying in his arms when they met two months ago.

Baekhyun does not know what to feel.

The passing years seem to have done nothing negative to his appearance, for he still looks breathtakingly handsome and well-built even if they have passed their youthful ages. If anything, Chanyeol gives off the impression like those cool celebrity daddies on a television program Baekhyun used to watch when he was still in EXO.

They look like they are in a small, father-and-little-daughter argument with her foot stomping every now and then and both Chanyeol’s hands enveloping the little girl’s small ones, which makes Baekhyun inwardly coo at the love in the father’s eyes, no longer remembering how alarmed he was a few seconds ago at the sight of his ex-lover.

If he were in Chanyeol’s position right now, he could not guarantee that he could stay calm like what the other is doing. Unlike Chanyeol, chances are he would have a short temper when handling kids for a long time. The tall man is known to be an expert when it comes to kids, he admits, and this scene in front of him is only an additional proof to that. He had enough years to see how much of a father material Chanyeol could be.

Baekhyun is too deep in his flashbacks concerning a certain Park Chanyeol and kids that he does not realize that the subject of his thoughts is coming toward him, hand in hand with his daughter.

“—not sold out! See, daddy? That uncle has it!”

The moment Baekhyun is pulled back to reality by that cute, girly voice, Chanyeol is already standing in less than two meters away in front of him, his expression pretty much unreadable. While freaking out inside at the sudden close proximity, the beautiful man tries to interpret the look the taller man is giving him, but being away from him for so long has made him unable to do so. He is not a bit sure about what is on Chanyeol’s mind right now. Is he unhappy to see me?

When they were still in EXO, reading each other’s mind just by looking at the eyes was a piece of cake. However, starting from the day after Chanyeol gave him the CD before totally cutting ties with him, he does not think he knows the other anymore. He does not think they understand each other’s body language like they did in the past.

With that thought in mind, he suddenly feels nervous and wants to literally run away again, but his legs are not being cooperative. How should I behave now?

“Hello, uncle! May I have one bag of that?”

Baekhyun blinks twice at Chanyeol before he realizes the source of the voice is from his four years old daughter, who is pointing at the bags of honey butter chips in his arms. Lips automatically curling upwards at the sight of her blinking cutely, he then copies what her father did earlier. He bends his knees and holds one bag out between him and the little girl. “This?”

She eagerly nods at him, eyes pleading like a puppy wanting to be fed. “Yes, uncle! Daddy and I saw on the shelf that it was out of stock, but you have it!”

“Do you like it so much?”

“Mmhm!”

“Okay,” Baekhyun chuckles, placing both of the bags in her little arms, instead of just giving her one. He is not going to buy it, after all. “Here, have them all.”

The way Heejin’s eyes sparkle seeing the bags in her arms sends warmth all over Baekhyun’s chest, overwhelming him. She looks like she has just received two bags of gems, not chips, and he envies how easy she finds happiness in the simplest things. He just hopes he can do the same for himself.

“Heejin-ah, now what should you say to this uncle?”

Baekhyun turns his head to the owner of that deep, sweet voice only to see him mirroring his stance next to his daughter. He thinks he sees something akin to longing in Chanyeol’s eyes when their eyes meet, but it is gone as soon as it came.

“Ah!” Heejin’s lips spread in a cute rectangular smile, her eyes crinkling in delight. She then bends her neck to give a small bow to Baekhyun in gratefulness. “Thank you, uncle! You are very nice!”

“And you’re a very cute little girl,” Baekhyun compliments back, his hand reaching up to pat her crown gently. He just cannot help it. Shoulder length black hair, cute button nose, chubby cheeks that accentuate her pink, pouty lips, and small eyes with curled eyelashes—Heejin is too adorable for his heart to handle.

Even the way she giggles is overly cute. “Thank you, uncle! Heejin is so happy now!”

Chanyeol clears his throat. “Thank you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun curses in his head as the butterflies in his stomach flies in all directions again after years on hiatus. Damn his voice.

“Daddy knows this nice uncle?” Heejin asks innocently, looking back and forth at her father and the shorter adult.

“Heejin-ah, this… is Uncle Baekhyun,” Chanyeol looks at the said man, and now Baekhyun swears there is sadness in those round orbs. But why? “He is actually daddy’s friend.”

The four years old girl purses his lips, blinks, before she gasps. “He looks like daddy’s friend in EXO!”

“Yes. He was one of the vocalists, baby. Do you remember now?”

“Ah~” she nods in understanding before her eyes widen comically. She turns to Baekhyun, beaming, and faces her father again. “Oh! Uncle Baekhyun is the puppy one! But why is his hair not pink… ”

Baekhyun immediately gives a questioning look at Chanyeol that screams what did you show her? which just earns him a chuckle from the latter, a sincere one. His heart skips a beat at the melodious sound he missed so bad. “I often show Heejin our pictures and videos during the promotion of Love Me Right. She likes that song so much. She likes your parts the most. I also nicknamed you puppy, while Kyungsoo is owl and Jongin is chicken. It’s easier that way to help her remember.”

“Oh, I see.”

Unwanted silence comes blanketing the three of them since none of the two adults seems to be interested in striking up another topic. Thankfully, as if sensing the stiff atmosphere they are in, the four years old girl decides to eventually break the invisible ice around them. She fires Baekhyun questions about his preference on snacks, if he is a fan of sour candy and chocolate like she is, seeming enthusiastic to know more about her father’s friend despite thi