I’ve always been a good flyer. In fact, I don’t mind long flights. The hours spent in this space tended to seed my writing and gave me time to things I would rarely have time to do. But when the flight attendant announced, “We are now preparing to land, please fasten your seatbelts,” my heart began to race as I prepared myself to a different culture that I would have to adapt to again. More importantly, I prepared for this godforsaken love triangle that I ran away from.

It was hard to leave but for some reason, it’s even more difficult to come home. A majority of myself sees Seattle as my home. It’s where I’ve felt the most at home as well as where I was able to spread my wings and experience the world on my own. Despite having an apartment prepared for me to live independently, it won’t compare to the freedom I felt in Seattle.

Looking back, I was running away from the problems that I refused to address. My questions regarding what I wanted from life, who I wanted to love, and how I could be happy with myself. At the time, the solution seemed to be moving myself to a new environment and hoping for the answers to come. But as the brakes of the airplane kicked in, I realized that none of these questions had been answered. My time away had only put off the problems I needed to address at home.

When I left, Hanbin refused to send me off. We settled for a quick meeting the day before and that was it. I could understand why… He was hoping for an answer to his confession but I still hadn’t sorted out my feelings for both him and Bobby. Bobby was more hopeful. He came to the airport with me and my parents, hoping for some romantic confession that he cooked up in his imagination but it didn’t happen. So imagine my surprise when I saw one of them waiting for me at the airport with my parents… Hanbin.

Despite all the pain I’ve caused him, he still sent an earnest smile my way and I couldn’t help but smile back. I hadn’t expected either of them to be there. We tried to keep in contact as much as possible but eventually, the time difference caught up to us and our constant conversations dwindled from nightly to weekly, biweekly, monthly... down to once every few months if we had time.

Deep down, I knew that they were both waiting for me. I teased them for it. Insisting that they live their lives and get girlfriends followed by them consistently came up with excuses not to. Whether they were too busy, too focused on school, or too focused on their careers, there was always something. But I knew the real reason.

After greeting my parents, it was Hanbin’s turn. “Hey, Jiyoon,” he said sweetly. The physical changes were drastic but his kind and gentle smile never faded, only the baby fat around his cheeks.

“Hey.” I smiled as he pulled me in for a hug.

There was a time when all three of us were the same height. Eventually, puberty hit me and I towered over the two of them but they eventually caught up. It’s obvious that I lost this race as Hanbin had now grown a head taller than me, making me wonder if Bobby had grown this much as well. “Where’s Bobby?” I asked while we waited for my luggage to come around.

“He couldn’t make it,” Hanbin said blankly.

“It’s been a while since we’ve all talked… you guys are still friends, right?” I said, concerned that I had somehow managed to dissolve their close friendship.

“Of course we are!” Hanbin assured me with his usual smile, “You know how he is sometimes… moody. It’s been hard without you around.” He said while giving me a side hug.

“What do you mean?” I asked, trying not to sound upset.

“You were always our leader,” he nudged me, “without you around… the two of us on our own, it’s just not the same. But now that you’re back, it should go back to how things were.”

Leaving the airport, it suddenly felt more real. The cityscape had changed so much from when I left. As much as I missed being home with my family and friends, I never missed it enough to leave Seattle. Leaving my parents no option but to come visit me during the holidays. Seeing everything made me uneasy. I had grown up in this city but I had never felt so foreign to a place before.

A/N: I want to thank everyone for reading this story up to this point. If I'm being honest, this story probably has the most planning behind it as I try to really develop my writing style and the complexity of my plots so please bare with me. But again, thanks!