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L'exquisite DouleurThere were many things Kim Yeuna hated and very few things she liked. She hated the way the heat of the summer rose off the hot pavement in waves, distorting the air; and she hated the way it burned her pale skin. The light made her head pound, and the cheerful children whom ran the streets made her slender fingers twitch in irritation. She hated loud voices and people who threw their heads back in a guffaw of laughter. She hated anything that wasn’t the sound of pencil against paper or the faint rustle of book pages turning.
But most of all, Kim Yeuna hated liars.
She hated coy gestures and dishonest comity. She hated the way lips upturned into fraudulent smiles as words of venom slithered out like some cruel joke, poisoning the veins of doe eyed innocence.
Kim Yeuna found her days spent with her small nose pressed into the musty smell that emitted from the torn pages of century old textbooks, hunched over in her chair as she harshly pressed lead into paper. By the time the pencil left her cramped fingers and she leaned back in the stiff, wooden chair, pinching the bridge of her nose; it was already well past midnight.
There were also many things that Kim Yeuna regretted. She regretted the way she had lost her innocence before she had grown into herself. She regretted the way she had held Hoseok’s small hands in her own so tightly as they watched the stars together for the last time. She regretted the way that she had left and the way that she had wallowed in her sorrows all alone. She regretted tight smiles and tired eyes, and the way her once lively words now fell heavily from her lips like bricks.
But most of all, she regretted the day she had madly fell in love with dark eyes and snow pale skin. She regretted the way his mouth tasted of lust and sin and the way his deep voice whispered empty promises in her ears.
She regretted the day she met Min Yoongi
“You need to get out more,” Shinhye hovered above Yeuna, hands on her hips as a judgmental frown marred her glossy lips.
It was a Thursday afternoon. Classes had already ended for the day, but Yeuna had stayed behind to work on an unnecessary extra credit assignment to add to her already perfect 4.0 GPA.
“No, what I need to do is make sure that I study for this exam,” Yeuna bit back flatly, attention focused on the the many papers scattered on the oak desk.
Shinhye snorted, “Yeuna-ah, you’re already one of the top students in the school.”
“Yeah, and if I want to keep that position I can’t slack,” Yeuna replied pointedly.
It wasn’t an over exaggeration. Yeuna hadn’t been born into the wealthiest of families. She had spent her childhood in the the poor district of Gwanju where the pavement was cracked and the floorboard of her house creaked no matter how lithe her steps were. The white walls had splotches of grey and yellow, and the decrepit ceiling leaked during the rainy season. Despite the geriatric neighborhood that seemed to scare away people with clean clothes and fancy cars, it was a place Yeuna cherished. The air was musty and though there were many hardships, it had been a place where she could smile.
And now her family’s future rod on her graduation from on Seoul National University. She had spilt blood and sweat to get in on a scholarship, and there was no way that she could start slacking now.
“Yeuna-ah! Pleeeease come to this event with me tonight,” Shinhye whined, poking a perfectly manicured finger into her best friends slim cheek.
“Leave me alone, Shinhye.”
“Not until you agree to go.”
“I can go another time.”
“You always say that! When is the last time you did anything fun? You’re so boring.”
Ripping her eyes away from the assignment, Yeuna turned to glare at her friend. “What are you talking about? I’m always having fun. I’m a fun person.”
Shinhye gave her a pointed look. “When was the last thing you did anything that didn’t involve going to the library or studying?”
Yeuna opened , only to quickly close it again; jaws clenching in irritation. If there was one thing she hated as much as liars, it was being wrong.
“See!” Shinhye began to pout, “just this one time? Puhleeeeaase. I miss going out with you. Can’t you just spend one night out with me?”
A sigh escaped the studious girl’s pink lips. “Where do you want to go?” she practically grumbled.
Shinhye squeaked in delight. “Thank you! Thank you! It’s a surprise by the way. Be ready by eight. I’ll swing by your house to pick you up. Wear something y!”
Yeuna opened to protest, but her friend was already out the door, leaving her to scowl at thin air with the words dying in . She huffed in annoyance, muttering in a string of curses as she gathered her things.
‘This is going to be a long night’, she thought bitterly to herself before heading home.
The chilly air hit her flushed cheeks while she walked, scarf draw
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