Minseok thinks it’s a little bit too quiet for a christmas morning of a certain wide-eyed boy who was extremely excited for Christmas ever since a week ago. Finishing his breakfast, Minseok knocks on Kyungsoo’s bedroom door.

“Soo? You’re up?,” minseok quietly asks after knocking the door exactly three times; the way kyungsoo wants his door to be knocked.

Instead of an answer, minseok hears a quiet sound of rustling and someone blowing their nose. He sighs, kyungsoo must be at it again. He opens the door to find kyungsoo is still on his bed, laptop on and he’s dabbing his eyes into some tissue. As a nice friend he is, minseok rushes over to kyungsoo’s side.

“oh kyungsoo…” he hugs kyungsoo and rubs the smaller boy’s back in a soothing matter. Kyungsoo’s sniffling muffled in minseok’s shirt.

“’m sorry. I’m just… I missed him so much” kyungsoo tries to say between his breath.

The elder flickers his eyes to the laptop screen and he’s not surprised to see kim jongin’s twitter account there. And other tabs that probably have kim jongin’s social media accounts up.

It’s always like this.

When the semester ends, December comes, Christmas knocks on the door, or even new year celebration being the hype in the campus, kyungsoo would lock himself in his room for a couple hours and then he would open his door, smiling like he did not just cry his eyes out until they turn red.

Kyungsoo always misses jongin, always. It doesn’t matter that it’s been two years since they broke up on the first semester of college. Minseok was there. He was right beside kyungsoo when the boy texted jongin, telling him how much he missed him but he couldn’t handle the fact that they couldn’t be together, telling him how much he wished jongin would just be right by his side, not in some foreign country five thousand miles away.

It was a tough choice, and it was probably the most stupid decision kyungsoo ever made in his whole life. He’s the one who wanted a break up, but after all this time, he keeps missing jongin. On every special day, he’d open jongin’s twitter and scroll down until he finds their old conversations; smiling through the tears that he’s trying so hard to keep on bay.

When kyungsoo’s breath finally even, minseok mumbles, “maybe you could try to call him?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, “no hyung, he told me last month that I bothered him when I chat him on LINE”

“soo, I just want you to be happy, okay?” minseok is no longer hugging kyungsoo, he cups the younger boy’s face in his hand. Kyungsoo’s lip wobbles and he looks so pathetic like this.

“thank you, hyung.” Kyungsoo balls his hand into fish and rubs his tears away. Minseok can’t help but to think how much this small boy deserve someone who can make him happy.

“c’mon, let’s get ready for the day. We will have Christmas dinner with the boys later. Better be prepared, alright chef?”

Kyungsoo smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes

Minseok ruffles his junior’s bed hair for one last time before retreating back to his own business. He sighs when he finally closes kyungsoo’s bedroom door. On his way to his bedroom, he grabs his phone on the phone counter to send a LINE chat to certain someone.

[minseokie-hyung] He cried in his room this morning PM 8.23

[minseokie-hyung] He opened your twitter again btw PM 8.23

It only takes seconds for minseok to see little R alphabet beside his chats to see that his messages has been read.

[kim jongin] im sorry hyung… AM 8.25

[kim jongin] its very hard on me too AM 8.25

[kim jongin] i miss him so much you hve no idea AM 8.27

 

---

 

It’s not that Kyungsoo doesn’t try. He does try to move on. But it never works. He’s not the kind of person who tries hooking up with every person who comes to him. No. he’s a bit reserved, but he doesn’t limit himself only to his circle of friends. Contradictory to most of people know, kyungsoo has a lot of admirers. There is this senior in college called kris who’s been dancing around kyungsoo helplessly. He even calls kyungsoo baby penguin which makes minseok rolls his eyes. But this tall guy never has the guts to ask kyungsoo out even though he’s been having lunch with kyungsoo for a month now. There’s also a poker faced junior called sehun. He doesn’t wear his heart on the sleeve, but everyone can see how desperate he is to get kyungsoo’s attention; start from trying to help kyungsoo bringing his stuff, buying him coffee and whatnot.

And kyungsoo is not a who just sits there and enjoys the attention. He tries to return the favor but minseok knows it doesn’t work. It just doesn’t because kyungsoo’s heart is already jongin’s.

Christmas this year, minseok was hoping, wishing, that at least, kyungsoo would smile, happy, being the cheerful little munchkin he is. So it saddens him to see kyungsoo this morning; missing jongin and he can’t do anything to it.

When the clock hits fifteen minutes to ten in the morning and minseok is all ready for the day, kyungsoo is still nowhere to be found. He knocks on kyungsoo’s door again and when the third time he does that he hasn’t heard anything, he opens the door only to see kyungsoo fast asleep on his bed, curling like a ball, jongin’s high school jersey clutched tightly to his chest.

He lets kyungsoo sleep for a couple more minutes because he knows, during special days like this is the moment where kyungsoo need more time for himself.

[minseokie-hyung] He misses you very much too PM 9.49 R