Miracles In December:

I can remember the moment I met her, the moment my life changed forever. It at first seemed like any other day. Thinking about it now, if I was given the chance to change it all, to make it so I never met her or loved her, would I do it? It would spare me of the pain I had been feeling inside day after day. If only I hadn't loved her, if only I had stayed away.

It had all started when Junmyeon wanted to bring his younger sister for a visit. If I were to regret one thing, it would be for not meeting her sooner. I can't even remember where I was during all those other times when she visited. The universe sure had a strange way of bringing us together. Or maybe it was the universe actually trying to keep us apart, to spare me of my pain, to spare her the burden of knowing me. If only I hadn't fought it.

I had been in a big rush to leave so I could go to the studio and record a song I had been working on for the past couple of weeks. I could hear her entering and everyone suddenly becoming so thrilled to see her as if her presence was the warm sun shining on the darkest part of the world.

"Soojin! It's so great to see you again!" I could hear Baekhyun cheer with delight.

"It's been too long!" I heard Jongin happily chuckle as I threw on my long winter jacket. "Where has this big brother of yours been hiding you?"

I couldn't understand what they all loved about her so much. What was it about her that made them go from bored to excited and ready to take on the world? Why did they laugh so much around her, avert all their attention to her? Why was she so special?

I left my room in a rush, stuffing a blank CD that was put into a case in my coat pocket then pacing down the hall. I tried to remain invisible as I entered the kitchen, not having time for chatting nor did I want to feel like I was intruding on the guys catching up on life with Soojin.

"Have any of you heard from them?" I heard her ask. I saw the guys all shake their heads.

"Not for a while. I don't think they want to talk to us anymore." Sehun replied.

"Well, Luhan and I still keep in contact sometimes." Yixing spoke up. "So I've heard from one. I guess that's good news for you, right?"

"Of course it is. I miss them so much."

I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and just when I was taking a quick sip before attempting to quietly make my way out, I was being called by Sehun to come say hi to Soojin.

"I don't think you've ever formally met Chanyeol, Soojin." Junmyeon nudged her shoulder. She noticed my rushing and shyly shrugged before replying.

"It's okay, I don't want to bother him." Her small voice was so fragile but beautiful. It was more beautiful than any music that has ever hit my ears. I gulped down my water and put on the cap, trying not to laugh at the fact that I found it cute how I was the one who didn't want to bother her or the guys with my seemingly not very polite rushing to get out of the house. She was the one who didn't want to bother me. Was she sweet? Was that why they all seemed to love her so much? Or was it because of how cutely shy she looked when she blushed or crossed her arms protectively over her chest as I stepped closer to her, as if to shield herself from me?

"No no, I'm on my way out right now. Don't worry about me." I smiled politely. She seemed so small and intimidated by how I towered over her as if I were some wolf standing in front of a baby bunny. "I'm Chanyeol by the way."

"Kim Soojin." She said shyly, ducking her head down after briefly arching her neck to look up at me.

"I think Soojin has a crush." Sehun teased, the apples of her cheeks flushing a light shade of pink, as did mine.

"Nonsense, my sister can do way better than Chanyeol." Junmyeon wrapped his arm around her shoulder, a moon smile appearing on his face with a hint of playfulness behind it directed at me.

"You're going to regret that when I get back." I pointed my finger at him which made him and a few of the others laugh. I turned towards Soojin and said a simple, "I'll see you around some time."

"Yeah, see you around." She politely smiled before I passed her to take my leave.

It seemed as if I noticed her around all the time after that. Junmyeon would bring her over all the time to spend time with the others, making me wonder if it was really his idea or hers. I would keep my distance, which didn't seem to matter since she avoided me anyway. I would sit on the couch near her and notice her moving away, scooting closer to Sehun or Minseok or whoever was next to her at the time.

I began to try breaking down my own barrier because of her avoidance of me. Did she not like me? What could it possibly be about me that would turn her off so much? I wasn't going to lie, it upset me for whatever reason it was I did not understand yet.

I, however, was somehow absolutely fascinated by her. The way she laughed, the way her beautiful long-wavy and dark hair fell down her back, how she even brought a smile to my face when she walked into the room. My favorite moments were when we would go out as a group, me observing her as she interacted with the others. She would occasionally catch my stares for a few moments before clearing awkwardly and going back to her other conversation. When we walked down the streets, she threw her heart out to every stray animal she saw, then would cry and cry when she was forced to leave them. I could even remember a time when we were all out at dinner together and it was her turn to pay for dessert. When we left the restaurant to go find a place for sweets, she had wandered off just to give all her money to a single mother and her three young kids so they could get whatever they wanted for dinner. I was the only one who saw it because my attention never left her. She ended up lying when she returned, saying she forgot to bring money which had Junmyeon paying. I could finally understand why everyone loved her so much. I found her to be the most caring person I had ever had the pleasure of being in presence of. If it were possible for angels to walk the earth, then I knew she was one for sure.

Things changed when she came over again for another movie night. I had decided to stay so I could see her and maybe have an actual conversation with her, instead of just observing like I usually did.

"You're never here for movie night." Junmyeon mumbled while he munched on some of the popcorn the moment he pulled it out of the microwave. "You always hate the movie choices we make."

"Yeah well I don't have anything else planned for tonight, so I figured I could hang out here." I shrugged it off. I was actually supposed to go to the studio but I had cancelled it so I could be here, but he didn't need to know that.

"Soojin will be here though. That won't bother you, will it?"

"Why would it bother me?" I smiled casually, as if I had no idea what he was talking about.

"I don't know." Junmyeon tossed another handful of popcorn in his mouth. "We were all under the impression you didn't like her that much."

"That's not true. She was avoiding me first." I pouted, glancing down at my feet as I attempted to lean against the counter.

"Well, maybe you could take the time tonight to try getting to know each other better."

That was exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted her to get to know me better, to show her I wasn't that bad.

Yixing entered with Soojin, announcing to the entire house she was now here. Everyone stampeded into the room, making me surprised they didn't trample her upon her entry. They all turned into little kids all wanting her attention. Kyungsoo even lifted her into the air and spun her around as he hugged her tightly, Minseok doing the same right after. For whatever reason, I felt inferior in her presence. She was more of a happy virus than I could ever be.

Everyone decided on romantic movies, I figured Soojin or Junmyeon chose this time. Junmyeon handed out bowls of the popcorn for everyone and Jongin brought out blankets for anyone who wanted them. I sat next to Soojin on the couch and before I could let her scoot away, I spoke to her.

"You've been visiting a lot more lately." I don't know why but I couldn't think of anything else to say. I'm not one to get nervous especially around a girl, so why was this different? Why was I so fascinated by her? Why was she more than perfect in my eyes? Was it her beauty, kindness? Both?

"Does that bother you?" She asked but did not look at me, her voice turning into a whisper since the first movie had started.

"Not at all. The other guys don't seem to mind it either." I waited a moment before nudging myself slightly closer to her. She tried to move away but I reached out and gently grabbed her hand to stop her. "It's okay. I don't hate you, if that's what you're thinking."

"No," She seemed to blush by the way she turned her face away from me so I wouldn't see it, which wouldn't matter since we were in a dark room anyway, the only light emitting from the tv. "I don't think that."

"Good." I gave her a sincere smile, and when she smiled back that was when I realized how much I liked her. Just being around her made me feel good and happy in ways I couldn't explain. It was like being in the presence of the most pure being in the world. My heart fluttered when she finally put herself close to me, close enough for our knees to touch.

We both put our concentration on the movie, just to see the two leads admit their feelings for each other then passionately kiss. I stiffened as I felt her hand tighten around mine. It had felt so natural that I forgot I was still holding her hand in mine. They just seemed to mold so perfectly together. I slowly turned to face her and imagined kissing her like in the movie, wondering if she was thinking the same for me. It took me a moment to realize I was actually doing it. I carefully leaned in, placing my other hand on her cheek. I gently put my lips against hers. She at first felt so hesitant. Maybe it was because we were in a room full of other people. I don't know. When I felt her starting to move her lips against mine, I had completely forgotten there were others in the room. All I could feel myself caring about was being with her.

"Looks like someone needs to get a room." Kyungsoo's teasing voice following a few laughs and clapping. Soojin broke the kiss and slouched back on the couch, me being close enough to see her normally pale-colorless cheeks go from the light pink to full-on red in the low light.

"I'm sorry." I whispered into her ear, "You can rest on my shoulder if you want."

"It's okay." She was reluctant at first but after another few minutes, when everyone stopped teasing us and focused on the movie again, I felt her nudge closer and rest her head on my shoulder, her hand still entwined with mine in between us. We would whisper some small talk to each other while watching a couple more movies until we fell asleep, me awaking to see both pairs of our hands entwined, her head still on my shoulder with my cheek on top of her own head, and a blanket that I'm sure Jongin eventually laid over us in the night.

I became consumed with wanting to see her after that night even though she wanted to go back to avoiding me like the plague. I fought through and began talking to her every chance I got, always asking if we could hang out alone sometime, but she always declined. I eventually asked why she didn't like me, but it was the exact opposite she said. She did like me, which was apparently the problem. "I like you, but I shouldn't." For the longest time I didn't know what that meant.

"Why don't you like me?" I had confronted her a few days after what seemed like the best night of my life. She could see the hurt and confusion in my eyes and I could see the sadness in hers as she forced herself to reject me.

"I do like you, Chanyeol." She muttered, not wanting to look up into my eyes.

"Then why don't you want to be with me?"

"I do want to be with you."

"So I like you and you like me. We want to be together so why are you trying to run away from me?"

"I like you, but I shouldn't." I didn't understand. What was stopping her?

"What does that mean?" I asked but she turned to walk away from me. I rushed up to her and grabbed her shoulder to make her turn and face me. "Tell me."

"I'll be going away for a while, so I shouldn't date. What would the point be?" Strangely, I understood more but understood less at the same time. I got an answer but it wasn't enough to satisfy me.

"Where will you be going?"

"I'm, going to live abroad." She bit her lip nervously. Something inside told me she was stretching the truth but I ignored it.

"When?"

"I'm not sure yet. Soon." She went to go leave again but my hand quickly moved to her wrist to pull her into my chest so I could embrace her.

"I don't care. Since when does time and distance decide if two people can be together or not?" I said as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders since she was much smaller than me. "Can't I just enjoy the time I have with you? We have each other right now in this moment, so why can't we just live in right now?"

I felt her shake slightly, signaling she was crying. She had given into her feelings for me and hugged me back tightly, crying into my chest out in the bitter cold outdoors.

"I want to spend the time I have with you." She whispered loud enough for me to hear, making me smile in content, a happy tear making its way down my cheek. This must've been why she had been visiting so much within the past half a year; so she could spend time with Junmyeon and the others while she was still here.

I loosed the hug so I could cup her face in my hands. I leaned down and kissed her, feeling her momentary hesitation before she let her worries go and kiss me back with just as much love and passion like me.

We were almost inseparable from that moment on. She was finally comfortable around me, she no longer avoided me. Whenever she came over for a visit, I was always the first one to pick her up and hug her, me being the only one with the advantage of getting to kiss her too. We soon made love every night, the moon light caressing all her perfect features along with my fingers. Making love to her always felt like the first time. Her moans were like hearing the high angels sing. It seemed as if each time was the last time for her. I knew no one could ever make me feel as complete like she made me. In her arms I didn't have to cry anymore or worry about anything. All there was, was her. We had given up our hearts and souls to each other. I couldn't go a day without telling her I loved her at least once or twice. Each time I said it was just as pure and meaningful as the first time, it was something I could say everyday until I die. She couldn't deny it either, she loved me too, and she told me just as often as I would to her.

I could recall a time just when November was coming around once again. I noticed she was getting a lot more school work than normal. When I asked, I was surprised when she so happily said that she was doing some of her classmates work for them. She didn't care about the threats they gave about what they would do to her if she didn't do it or complete it all on time. She said it didn't matter because she was more than happy to help someone when they needed it, no matter what it was. I knew they didn't need help. All they did was see how pure and sweet she was only they used it for their own selfish gain. All they did was take advantage of her. All they did was use her. All they did was hurt her. Why did she let them? Her answer was because she didn't want to hurt their feelings. She cared about everyone much more than she cared about herself. She never put herself first. She was too good for her own good...

I tried to make those kids stop but they didn't listen when she came around, her giving into their every whim just to make them happy. It frustrated me when she would tell me to stop interfering and that it was okay. She said she would be quitting school here since she would be preparing to leave soon. She said she expected the trip to come a lot sooner but for whatever reason it was postponed so she was able to stay longer. I didn't question why, I was only happy that I got more time with her.

I could remember when things changed for the worst. There was the universe once again getting in the way as if we were meant to be star-crossed. We had traveled out near the woods so I could prepare to give her my gift for our one year and a half anniversary. They had been couple rings which I wanted to save for Christmas day but she said she would be leaving around that time so I felt like now was the right time.

We walked down the dirt path, our fingers entwined. My other hand rested in my pocket, feeling the box I was ready to give her.

"I have faith in long distance relationships." I smiled contently as we walked.

"What makes you think that?" Soojin hid her frown with an amused chuckle.

"Well when you are really in love with someone, the distance won't matter. Eventually it'll change and we can be together forever."

"That is a valid point you're making, Park Chanyeol."

"I know." My cockiness was oddly something she loved about me. I was always afraid some would think I was some shallow person but I wasn't. But of course she would never think of me that way. I loved her for the way she embraced everything about me