in some ways, it's better that the group has gone through this.

the members, the seven of you, the brothers that you've made along the way -

they all teach you different things as you go, as you grow up together.

jaebum has taught you what it's really like to be a leader, what it's like to be stressed out beyond relief but still being able to have fun and be courageous regardless. he's an older brother that you never had but have always wanted, and you've found that even in the darkest of times, jaebum is one of the few people that can pull you out of it, can see right through you even if nothing is seemingly wrong; even if nothing that the others do or say can help your spirit.

bambam and yugyeom have taught you what it's like to be young and reckless, to be bubbly and bright no matter what the occasion. they've taught you that smiles can mean the world to anyone, that hard work pays off in many ways, and that showing affection does not mean showing weakness. they're like younger brothers that you have never had, and even in the darkest of times, they are one of the only people that can get you to genuinely smile when you are down.

(yugyeom has also taught you what it's like to be a brat, and is a prime example on how not to treat your elders - but it's all in fondness, so you let it slip. for now, anyway).

both jinyoung and youngjae have taught you that being loud does not mean being heard. they've taught you that regardless of what you think about yourself, or about how others see you, you are you, and that is the most important, priceless thing that you can be.

and mark is -

well, mark has taught you everything that all of the other members have taught you combined, and much more. maybe in different ways, maybe in a different light, but regardless, he's taught you the most out of all of the boys.

mark's taught you what it's like to be genuinely, infactuately in love; what it's like to be cuddled around someone in the cold, feeling their heart beat against yours, the protective hold they have around you to be blissful and frightening at the same time. he's taught you that sometimes love means war, and that sometimes silence is the best hinderess. he's taught you that relying on someone does not mean giving up your life for them, he's taught you that you're not alone in this world, he's taught you -

(they've all taught you that life doesn't work out the way that you plan it to sometimes, and that friends are a home away from home that you need to keep close to you. after all, if you don't do something to save yourself, then who will?)

these six people, these six that used to be strangers a few years ago, are now the world to you.

and even with all of the bull that's been thrown your direction lately -

you wouldn't have it any other way.

~

four, three, two, one...

you step out onto the stage, hearing chants of the crowd, can feel the adreneline bursting off of you, can feel the light hearted feeling run through your body as you guide your way along with the others down the stage -

you're at home here.

on this stage, it doesn't matter who you are. it doesn't matter what you've been through.

it only matters where you are now, and that you've achieved your dream.

you've made it.

you've made it.

~

the title track 'i like you' starts up in the background of the stage, and as the crowd gets louder and louder as the music goes on, your body picks up on the cheorgraphy as if it's a second nature to you -

which, you suppose it is. late nights and early mornings in the studio pay off, and have to, because the industry is clawing at anything that they can take, and you all need to be on your best behavior, on your best manners, on your best leveled head at all times.

there is no time for mistakes.

but as you're manuvering your way through jaebum and jinyoung, your eyes start to latch onto a seemingly firm body, one that falls down onto the hard, cold ground as you stutter and stare at shock at what just happened.

you're used to falling. everyone does, at some point. but this, this is not usual.

the music doesn't stop, but you do. you walk forward, forgetting the next couple of steps (they can yell at you all that they want later, you're doing this for him. for you. for all of you.)

the air around you stills, and you can tell that the others have caught along to what is happening. six bodies surround the other, less awake, more damaged member, and as you help lift him off of the ground, you feel your heart shatter in your hands.

mark feels like barely anything. his weight seemed to have dropped previously, and all signs showed towards being concerned but - with the damn schedule, and with how distant the two of you have been lately, you haven't bothered asking him about it.

how could you be so stupid?

this isn't the time for being self depreciative. mark is all that matters, and as the six of you rush him into the backstage and the manager calls for a paramedic, all that you can do is blame it on yourself.

if you would've been paying more attention, then -

if you would've actually asked like a good friend does, then -

if you would've listened while you had the chance to, then -

stop.

your gaze fixates on the door that mark has just been pushed through. an iv stuck in his right arm, a breathing mask covering half of his beautiful, tear stained face (why couldn't you've just asked, shown more concern, my god), his eyes closed half way, his hair matted to his forehead -

all that you can do is sit, and wait.

~

and waiting you do.

it takes about three hours for the doctors to make it back into the waiting room - three hours of complete nothingness, of feeling like your world has dropped out from below your feet (which yes, you know how dramatic that sounds. but mark is your world, and if he falls, then you follow shortly behind).

it's three hours of cluelessness, of being thrown into hugs with the other members, being locked in all of them all at once; you don't mind. they're there for you, and you're there for them, and that's all that you need to say in this situation.

it's three hours of helplessness, of hoping that mark is okay, hoping that this won't be the end of you, the end of him, the end of got7.

the words are blurring together, but you hear 'mark' and 'okay', and you feel the blood circulating through your body again, can feel the pressure lifted off your shoulders, and suddenly - you can breathe.

the next thing that you know, you're all in mark's hospital room.

you take one look at him, and decide that you're going to help fix him.

you do not care how long it takes, or how powerless it might seem sometimes - you are going to get him back to the person that he once was.

mark. your mark.

you feel like bundling him up in blankets, cocooning yourself beside him, and staying there forever.

jaebum comes back into the room, saying something about 'malnourished', and 'iron levels low', and 'alcohol intake high'.

you don't want to listen.

but you do, because it's mark, and let's face it, you'd do anything for him. you would do anything if it meant to keep him safe and protected, no matter what.

no matter what.

~

a few days later, and you're still sitting in the hospital room. you haven't been there everyday all of the time, as the managers and the members have practically begged and forced you to go home at least once or twice.

you're alone this time. jaebum, jinyoung, youngjae, bambam and yugyeom have all resorted to staying in the dorm, since it's late, and they were here earlier.

so were you. you've been here, holding mark's hand, watching the way that his stomach falls in and out, hearing the heart monitor continuously 'beep, beep'.

it's informing you that he's still alive. keeping you attached to your life line, in both the best and worst ways.

and when his eyes suddenly open, not by that much but by a twinge of a centimeter, your hand nearly falls out of his.

his gaze lands on you, and you're unsure of yourself again.

his eyes light up in recognition, of a seeming look of happiness, and you put your hand more firmly in his.

"hyung,"

and his façade just breaks.

you're not one for formalities and honorifics among the group. you've always been respectful, always been more talk than actual bite, and usually korean is not the language that you naturally fall into when you talk to him - but this time, despite him only being awake for a few seconds, you can see the barely there smile, can see the wound up tears lacing in his eyes, can feel his hand push against yours slightly in a careful brush.

you climb into the bed with him, his body pushed to the side, yours careful not to jostle too much of anything near you. you curl up beside him, hand still in hand, and when he puts his head onto your chest, ever so carefully -

you feel whole again.