Studying the loose strand on the cuff of her jeans, her high-top canvas sneakers, anything besides the situation she's currently in. Anxious jean clad thighs swinging closed, then open, closed, and open...

fiddling with her fingers and moving her head stiffly to the beat. She doesn't know this song, or any of the ones they've played so far. Filthy lines and offbeat rhythms, a genre Tzuyu was not interested in. Her ears are buzzing and the smell of the room is starting to linger in her airways. Hard to breathe, hard to see under all the smog.

Tzuyu could be studying right now. It's all she really does, study. She'd rather take a second final than be here, surrounded by senseless drunkards. Why did Chaeyoung drag her into this again? Right. Her only friend, Chaeyoung. 

-

"Come on, lighten up a bit. We'll have fun, I promise."

Chaeyoung crosses her fingers, her heart, but Tzuyu doesn't give in,

"Why can't we go home now? I'm tired Chaeyoung-ah."

The latter rolls her eyes, exiting the car and opening the door for her best friend.

"Chivalrous. Still hate you for bringing me here."

Tzuyu relies on first impression always, and the house screamed nothing but trouble. She's trembling and she's not sure if it's because of the bass of the music that's blasting inside or how hard her heart is beating against her chest.

Chaeyoung tugs at her sleeve, dragging her to the front door. Knock #1. Nobody answers.

"Will you look at that, nobody's home now let's go-"

"Shut up, Tzuyu-yah."

Knock #2. Still, no response.

Chaeyoung grows extremely impatient, Tzuyu is just relieved. Chaeyoung wants to wipe the smug look painted on Tzuyu's face clean, hell she'll kick the door off it's hinges if she needs to, so screw knocking, 

KICK, BANG, YELL, #1

"DOORS OPEN!" from the other side of the door.

-

Tzuyu is about fed up with Chaeyoung, having promised her a "fun night" when she isn't even spending the night with her. She rises from the couch, an indent caved in the cushion, had she been sitting there for such a long time. 

"Chaeyoung?"

Tzuyu called out. 

"Chaeyoung I'm leaving if you don't answer me right n-"

Chaeyoung, leaned against the kitchen counter with a drink at hand, talking to some pixie-cut jock who's twice her height. Again, Tzuyu was promised a fun night, yet here she is watching her bestfriend being wooed by some elder. Must she remind herself that they're both still in highsch-

Highschool. 16 years old. 

*Why is Chaeyoung drinking?*

She approaches Chaeyoung, calling her name. The older one doesn't even glance at her.

She yanks the drink out of Chaeyoung's hand,

"Yah! Tzuyu-yah give it b-"

Tzuyu turns around and (purposely) spills the beverage on the Pixie's hair,

"How's that for your cut, oppa."

The guests all turn their heads to see Jungyeon, drenched in beer and a glimpse of blurred chestnut-locks, dashing out of the house. The door slams shut and the room is silent.

"Jungyeon-ah, I'm so sorry I"

"Just leave, Chaeyoung."

"N-no wait I didn't do that, it was my friend"

"She's your friend huh? Tell her she's a grade A jackass. No wonder she has no friends."

-
Tzuyu met Chaeyoung in elementary when the two were only in 3rd grade, both prepped in their school uniforms, clad in plaid with backpack straps. 

Tzuyu suffered from Aspergers Syndrome, a class of autism not rare in the country. It wasn't as severe, doctors analyzed that her condition wouldn't affect her learning process, which was a relief to her family but what worried them most were the words "social skills."

"Ok and Chou Tzuyu, are you new here?"

The teacher abruptly asked in the midst of role call,

"Erm, no. I transferred from the special Ed class.."

Her voice softened at the end of her sentence, she didn't want the other students to find her weird. It was just her first day.

"Oh. Sit next to Chaeyoung please. Chaeyoung, raise your hand"

The smallest of the class raised her head, evident of "bed-head" had she just awoken from deep sleep on her table. Wiping the drool on the side of her cheek,

"Here!" She shot her arm into the air.

Tzuyu faced the floor as she walked to her new permanent seat.

"The name's Chaeyoung"
The bob-cut cutie asked. She extended an arm at the foreigner, but she gets no reply. The girl looks surprised, almost puzzled,

"Let me guess, you aren't Korean, huh? And you're from "special Ed"..."

The foreigner blushed, she didn't want anybody to know...
She nodded her head nervously, fiddling with her fingers underneath the desk.

"You're cool!"

Chaeyoung exclaimed. Her eyes were bright and happy, a smile plastered on her face that put the stars and the sun to shame.

-

Quickly they became friends, and reality was that they were both all they had. Tzuyu's mom didn't expect to see a student in uniform at their door, had it only been 2 weeks that her daughter had been in school.

"Are you Tzuyu's friend?"
Mrs.Chou asked, confusion clearly in her tone.

"Yes, yes I am! Son Chaeyoung, pleasure to meet you!"

Tzuyu's mother raised an eyebrow at the child. She takes her in and before she can go running upstairs to see her new friend, her mother asks to speak with her.

"You do realize that Tzuyu isn't exactly...normal, right?"

Chaeyoung tilts her head,

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Ah. Chaeyoung-ah, my daughter suffers from Aspergers. It won't affect her academically just...socially."

" burgers? You're real funny Ms.Chou. Now I know where Tzuyu got her sense of humor from. Good talk! But I think Tzuyu is waiting for me."

Chaeyoung rushes up the stairs,
And she can't help it but Tzuyu's mother smiles, ear-to-ear. Maybe she doesn't have to worry about Tzuyu too much, not with this kid around. 

-
Tzuyu ran the entire way to their apartment, heaving as she burst through the door. Rushing to the bathroom, she bent over the porcelain throne and coughed up everything inside of her. The guilt, regret, the sub she ate for lunch just a few hours ago. Everything spewed out of her and she wasn't sure why she felt this way, why she felt so hollow inside yet so burdened, it's what she had been feeling like for the past weeks. No, months. Scratch that, years.

Chaeyoung takes Tzuyu wherever she goes, and Tzuyu can't bear to see Chaeyoung with anybody else. Especially when she is alone, as she had been just a few minutes ago. Tzuyu doesn't know what it is but she's felt it since their encounter and throughout, she feels like she's being weighed down. 

Growing up together, entering maturity and riding the ups and downs of life together, Tzuyu's mindset began to...shape itself. She was Chaeyoung's little puppet and every time she had to watch her with somebody else she could feel the strings on her limbs tug and pull, sharp, unexpected movements. She's empty whenever Chaeyoung isn't around or out of sight, but she feels burdened in her presence.

And when Chaeyoung can't sleep in the cold winter nights, she's "more than welcome" to sleep in Tzuyu's bed. Her skin feels to be in flames when she's in her embrace, or brushing up against her other slightly. Tzuyu has no damn clue what a "relationship" is because every being she's claimed to have "feelings" for has never returned it,

Nothing was ever mutual besides the "relationship" she held with Chaeyoung and her family. "I love you" was something so foreign to her, something she could only say to her family and so when Chaeyoung told her she loved her, she had a change of perspective and saw Chaeyoung no longer as a "friend" but family. 

So why did Tzuyu feel such feelings for "family"? Because she never felt like this around her parents, her siblings, all else. Her parents made Tzuyu feel secure and wanted, so did Chaeyoung. But the way her own mother would hold her tight was a different feeling, it was Chaeyoung's touch that put the other's to shame.

Tzuyu limped weakly against the wall, and usually she never felt this way but she cried. Her mind was racing and she'd turned to Chaeyoung for help but she wasn't brain-dead, Chaeyoung isn't present and she wants nothing to do with Tzuyu at the moment. At least that's what Tzuyu thinks.

Chaeyoung enters the apartment and sees Tzuyu's sneakers beside the door. The apartment is still dark, untouched. 

"Tzuyu-yah, we need to talk."

Silence. Not until she walks past the bathroom door. Sniffles and murmurs beyond her comprehension,

"Tzuyu? Are you crying? Open the door, I know you're upset."

Tzuyu's heart is broken, because she's crying. She feels so stupid for crying, feeling absolutely hopeless. She feels so inferior next to Chaeyoung because she realizes just how much she relies on her. Her life depends on Chaeyoung and it's the truth. 

"No, I can't look you in the eyes right now.."

Chaeyoung puts her back to the door and sits on the ground.

"I'm not mad, and I'm not leaving. I order you to open this door."

Chaeyoung's tone isn't demanding, it's calm.
Tzuyu doesn't know if Chaeyoung is faking it to get her to open up, but at this point why question it?
Hesitantly turning the lock of the bathroom door, 

"Door's open."

Chaeyoung diligently creaks open the door to face a puffy-eyed, crimson-red blushed, Chou Tzuyu. It's so rare for Tzuyu to cry, because there is nothing in existence that can make Tzuyu cry. She's only seen her pour out her emotions when she moved from her family home to the apartment, but it being only a few miles apart, the agony was short-lived. And that was just Chaeyoung's luck because she knew that whatever Tzuyu goes through, she must go through, too.

"You're crying...why?"

Tzuyu breaks only into a deeper sob, how dumb she feels in front of Chaeyoung right now.

"You make me feel so stupid Chaeyoung-yah. So damn stupid, inferior. You confuse me and I'm your puppet, I know it because you test me. You were my first friend and possibly my last, why do you have to do this to me?"

Chaeyoung stares at the latter with wide-eyes,

"I-I don't get it. What are you trying to s-"

"My parents told me about "love." To share it with only family because the others don't believe in it. So why do I have that feeling for you? I love my family, but the way I love you is different. I don't know how...but you're not a friend to me or family"

Chaeyoung leans in closer to the girl,
She only continues on,

"Thing is nobody but family loved me. And if I can't call you family then I know what I have for you can't possibly be mutual and that's what's killing me. I can't see you with anybody el-"

The gap in between the two close in, Chaeyoung brushing her thumb down the sharp jawline of the latter. Their lips touch, and it's gentle. So delicate and innocent, Tzuyu melts in her touch but she doesn't know what to do, or what is happening. Chaeyoung busies herself, tangling and intertwining her fingers into the girl's locks, she feels nervous at first because Tzuyu just isn't responding. 

She disconnects from the kiss,

"Tzuyu-yah, if you feel uncomfortable about this just tell me."

Tzuyu is anything but uncomfortable right now. Guilty, regretful, yet...relieved. 

"I've been waiting for that. I just never knew what I was waiting for.."

Tzuyu softly spoke. And Chaeyoung is off into her own world.

Chaeyoung fell in love with Tzuyu for every single detail, inside-out. She loves her introverted side, her nerdy personality with a heart for science. The way her eyebrows form a crease whenever she's lost in a new book. Her soft-spoken voice and her shyness whom she knows is displayed whenever she is embarrassed. All more, even her disability. Because she knows she's alone. She knows she's different, but she never is upset about it. Chaeyoung loves how Tzuyu is so dependent on her. She breathes knowing Tzuyu can count on her and that she's the only person she can count on.

And now that she knows Tzuyu can say the same for her, she has a lot to teach her.

"I've loved you since the beginning. I don't care about your disabilities, I don't mind your personality. I love everything about you, you think you only rely on me but where would I be without you, should I apologize for keeping you on hold this whole time?"

"Don't say sorry. I've been blind, I still am...you'll teach me right? You'll allow me to see the world through your eyes, won't you?"

Tzuyu pleads the elder,

"Don't worry, I'll teach you all you there is you need to know. How about this, tip #1, eh? 

Don't ever bottle up your emotions. Some emotions can be returned, regardless of who."

Tzuyu's eyes are still puffy from all the crying, her skin's a bit pale, but what drowns that all out is her smile, it puts the stars and the sun to shame.