Legitimately, Minseok has no authority over Luhan. No say in their last minute dinner dates, no word in where they would shop for shoes, and definitely not the house he bought when the lingering flashbacks of their Caribbean honeymoon wore off. In Luhan’s defense, when the question arose over dinner at a neighbor’s house, Minseok would admit he enjoyed it to an extent.

 

“Minseok, I thought you were all about independence and stuff,” Baekhyun mumbles over the rim of his wine glass.

 

“I am, but Luhan and I are like one embodiment,” Minseok says with a soft laugh.

 

And it’s true, they are one embodiment, one being, one entity with two heads and a gigantic heart. College was the platform in which they collided, simply molding and fusing to each other’s body and habits like magnets who had the ability to long. Arguments were fickle things, one time things that occur over where the ironing board went, or where was the cereal when it was told to be bought. They had started with a crash and have been sailing peacefully with no waves in their relationship.

 

“I’m sure your sons would love to hear how baba and daddy are always attached at the hip,” Baekhyun snickers, eyebrows wiggling playfully.

 

Except one.

 

Minseok sputters an incoherent hiss over his noodles. He cranes his head over to glance at all three of his sons playing with toy cars while the other couple’s kids watch uninterestedly. Minseok’s eldest, Jongdae, feels like being a big kid and attempts to climb on the couch with Jongin and Yifan, who were both going into the fourth grade soon; but they were still third graders, so Yifan shoves his abnormally long leg into first grader Jongdae’s face. Jongin sprawls out on the other half of the couch to oversee everything from a half-lidded view.

 

“They are never going to hear anything of the sort, anytime soon,” Minseok says defiantly.

 

Tao and Sehun, Minseok’s four year-old twins, don’t twitch when Jongdae comes tumbling into their backs. Luhan glances at his husband with an amused snicker because he’s got that look in his eyes, and Baekhyun and Yixing haven’t seen “the look” before.

 

“Tell him to apologize,” states Minseok, staring hard at the other couple.

 

“What?” Yixing blinks confusedly.

 

“Tell Yifan to apologize, he just pushed Jongdae!” He squawks.

 

Baekhyun just waves a flippant hand across the table before reaching for the wine bottle, peeking behind Minseok. Jongdae seems to find it as some kind of game and quickly scrambles across the carpet to climb back up. The other boy doesn’t bat an eyelash and pushes at a giddy Jongdae’s shoulder again.

 

“Jongdae doesn’t have a problem with it,” Baekhyun hums. “They’re just playing Minseok, they’re fine-”

 

“Absolutely not!”

 

Minseok stands abruptly from his chair and marches across the threshold to loom over a bored Yifan, playing footsie with Jongdae; except Jongdae is using his face.

 

Luhan bites at his lip and turns away from the scene, grinning wide into his bowl of fried rice.

 

Luhan has absolutely no control in parenting their lovely three children, and even before they took them in from the adoption center Minseok has made it clear. The petite Korean was the one to choose the color of their room, the one to choose which preschool, elementary, middle, and high school they would attend, and he is always the one to teach the morals of humanity - “Zitao, you’re very intimidating, don’t be afraid to use that in your favor when you’re in trouble”, “Sehun, when you ask someone for something you have to be cute, they’ll give you freebies”, “Jongdae, if anyone bumps you on accident don’t say sorry, yell assault and you’ll have instant friends”.

 

Okay, so Minseok has questionable methods of parenting and Luhan should be concerned, should be offended by the lack of fatherly presence he has to offer. But their sons are all a bit empty in the head to some extent and often don’t take after Minseok’s “educated lullabies”. Luhan enjoys the trouble he causes; besides, he can berate him later in the evening.

 

“Yifan, apologize to Jongdae right now,” Minseok commands.

 

The boy just looks up at the adult before resuming his fight against a Jongdae monkey trying to climb his way up his legs.

 

“But he likes it,” Yifan states, reaching a hand to pat the younger’s head. Jongdae just squeaks happily, as if it were some acceptance by the secret club’s leader, and claws his way up to plop beside Yifan.

 

“No, he does not! How dare you go around pushing little boys around! Don’t your parents teach you better?!”

 

“Excuse me! I can hear you!” Baekhyun screeches across the room.

 

Minseok glares down at the cuddling pair before plucking Jongdae up under the armpits, fitting him onto the jut of his hip.

 

“Daddy doesn’t want you playing with mean boys, okay?” Minseok coos, gently bouncing the boy. Jongdae squirms in discomfort, completely dismissing his father’s words, eager to get back to the ever cool Yifan.

 

At the dining table Yixing fights a seething Baekhyun from storming over to smack the doting parent upside the head.

 

“How dare you accuse my baby of anything!” Baekhyun screams, held back with hands around his wrists. “You’re the one who teaches a preschooler how to seduce his way into an extra cookie!”

 

Minseok whips his head around to glare at the other. “Sehun is a natural, I will not suppress his nature!”

 

Baekhyun manages to slip away from a distressed Yixing - Luhan just grins with a tipsy tilt of his lips and rests his cheek in his palm, staring at the other with a casual, “So, how’d you meet your lover, hm?” - and march over to Minseok. In the same motion Jongdae pries his father’s arms from his waist and drops down with a huff, returning to an open armed Yifan.

 

The two adults stare each other down, hands on hips, before a fire of poor parenting accusations are let loose.

 

“You feed your children vegan-only products, don’t you think that’s restrictive? I mean who even likes fortified non-dairy yogurt,” Minseok hisses.

 

“At least it’s better than letting Sehun bribe the teacher to give him a mountain of cookies!”

 

“I’m teaching him how to be aggressive! Unlike your Jongin, look at him!”

 

Everyone glances at the sleepy boy flopped over the armrest, arm extended and the rest of his body twisted oddly; he blinks slowly before rubbing his exposed tummy and rolling off the furniture. He trudges into Yixing’s arms with an offended whine, curling up in his warmth and complaining how his other daddy is noisy.

 

“What’s wrong with him!” Baekhyun squints.

 

“All he does is sleep; everytime we come over his head is in his bowl, or if we take the kids out he sleeps on the bench!”

 

“He’s a growing boy, he needs all the rest he can get! Luhan tells me you sing-” Baekhyun curls his fingers in quotation marks, “to Tao all night long. And it’s not even real songs for children!”

 

“The Economist is very intriguing when it’s my voice- Do you want to hear? Look, I memorized April 18th’s issue: when the oil price crashed last year-”

 

Luhan lamented the disappearance of all his subscriptions one morning, and now he just laughs at their fate.

 

Minseok is cut off by a burst of laughter from Baekhyun, a succinct breath of ha.

 

“You know, what if he isn’t interested in economics, Minseok?” Baekhyun sneers. “You should do things that revolve around his natural abilities, like Yifan here; he’s actually good at basketball.”

 

Yifan glances up from making funny faces with Jongdae, curious at the mention of his name. The younger boy tugs at Yifan’s shirt to beg for his attention once more and Yifan complies, silently taking his baby fat into his fingers and squishing his face.

 

“Yifan is just tall, idiot,” Minseok huffs. “Just because he can block the ball without jumping doesn’t mean he has any skill. Jongdae here, is actually smart unlike both of your children. He’s memorized his multiplication table, has great argumentative skills, and he colors inside the lines!”

 

Baekhyun snorts and opens his mouth to find another retort, but Minseok beats him to it.

 

“Jongdae gets to skip a grade,” he continues smugly.

 

A silence falls over the household, even Tao and Sehun have settled for the Play-Doh instead of Hot Wheels. It was Baekhyun’s pride and dream to have his kids be at the top of their class at the very least, and Minseok’s sunshine of a kid Jongdae sets a prime example of what Jongin and Yifan will never be. Baekhyun subtly glances at the coloring sheet taped to the wall, a disastrous mess of an orange penguin colored by Jongin two years ago. He clenches his teeth.

 

Later that evening when Luhan decided it was time to leave, Minseok sits on the toilet seat cover with a soft huff. Luhan sweeps a cotton pad doused in alcohol across his cheekbone, earning him a shocked yelp.

 

“This is what you get for provoking Baekhyun, love,” Luhan hums amusedly.

 

“But I didn’t think he would punch me!”