Forget Me Not.

Lian visits Yixing at the hospital with a different bouquet of flowers, each day, hoping she could convey her true feelings.

Genre: Romance/ Slight Angst

Word Count: 5992

 

 

Loud footsteps echoed through the dimly-lit wards, the patients seemed to be sound asleep and the nurses hustled around, gearing up for a new day. Lian walked by the rooms, mentally counting her steps while she tried her best to not make a sound, but the empty corridors made it impossible and her heels weren’t exactly noiseless. Her hands were wrapped securely around a bouquet of fresh flowers, coated with a film of dew, and her glassy orbs wandered around, throwing occasional glances and smiles at the warm and friendly nursing staff. Some of them seemed to recognize her, for she was a frequent visitor.

 

Lian’s smile grew wider when she reached the Special Observation room, her footsteps coming to a halt in front of the familiar room. The monitors beeped in an oddly rhythmic manner when she stepped in through the sliding door, stealing a quick glance at the digital clock that hung on the wall. She was right on time, yet again.

 

This had become a part of her daily routine- she would wake up early in the morning, make a quick stop at the local florist’s, before making her way here, at the hospital. And she’d always arrive exactly at the crack of dawn, not a second early, nor late.

 

“Good Morning, Yixing,” she beamed, settling the flowers inside a large glass jar, after discarding the wilted ones from the previous day. “I brought Yarrows today, they were quite hard to find,” she chuckled. “They bring in good health apparently,” she cleared , “and everlasting love.”

 

“I got some books to read to you,” she exclaimed, settling down on her usual spot next to his bed. Her gaze slowly trained towards his peaceful, sleeping figure, chest rising steadily with each beep of the ventilator. The clear liquid in the bag, dripped in to his vein, at a steady pace, nourishing him as he lay in his deep stupor.

 

“Or I could simply talk. You don’t find me boring, do you?” She smiled softly, tracing the outline of his sharp nose with her fingers, but not touching him. “In any case, you don’t have a choice for I love to talk.” Her smile faltered slightly when she glanced at him, she took in a deep breath. Today was just like any other day; she was going to spend the next few hours of her day, accompanying him as he slept soundly, away from the world.

 

“I think you need a shave,” she remarked, tracing her fingers through his unshaven chin. “I’ll ask the nurses today. Perhaps, I could shave it myself, you wouldn’t mind, would you?”

She smiled to herself, “I guess not.”

 

He still looked handsome, she thought, even though he hadn’t been groomed for days. His resting face appeared peaceful, quite unlike the expression his face usually bore whenever he saw her. She knew he detested her; she had been nothing but a pest in his life, who had taken her slight crush on him to another level. And despite his repeated rejections, she had refused to yield. But that had been a few years back; she had been an aimless teenager, who didn’t know what to do of her new-found feelings. And Yixing had been up and about, like any other living being.

 

The accident had been quite unfortunate, it had been unforeseen and nobody’s fault. She remembered the day she learnt the news from a grave Mrs. Zhang, who happened to be her neighbor. She hadn’t seen him in months, and that was the first she had heard of him in months.

 

Yixing had long moved out of his parents’ house, which gave her lesser chances of bumping into him. She wondered if she had been the reason behind his sudden shifting-out, or maybe he wished to become independent. Besides, his relationship with his girlfriend had also turned quite serious, according to what she had seen, and she suspected if they wished to live together.

 

She had accepted her fate, she had been shut out of his life and she knew it was all her fault. She had decided to keep her distance, but his grave accident left her with no choice. She wasn’t going to stay away while he lay on a hospital bed, battling for his life. She had visited him the first week, standing outside the door, hiding from his mother and his girlfriend. She had overheard their conversation with the doctor. He was in a coma, and there was nothing they could do. The words failed to sink in, it was as if she had been living in her nightmare and there was no way to get out.

 

She didn’t know what to do; she felt rather helpless. She had visited him the subsequent weeks, observing him from outside his room. She felt as if her mere presence would disturb his peace. But months later, his girlfriend and his parents seemed to have gotten tired, they limited their visits to once per month and she thought of it as an incredible opportunity for her to spend some time with him. This was her only chance to convey whatever was on her mind, uninhibitedly. And when Yixing woke up, she was certain he would, he'd never know that she was there, watching him as he slept.

 

Until then, she would visit him with a bouquet of flowers- different flowers each day, ones which could help her convey her true feelings. She didn’t know what it was, but she simply adored flowers. It was as if each blooming petal conveyed a message, something which even the deepest words couldn’t. She felt as if they held more meaning than words, such was their beauty.

“I wish you’d wake up soon, Yixing,” she muttered softly. “I’m afraid people might forget about you and move on with their lives.”

 

“You aren’t someone who’s meant to be forgotten. You’re the brightest person I know. Just a simple smile from you can ease my mind and your charming dimple, of course.

I remember I was so awestruck the first time I saw you smile, I went to my room and pressed my finger deep into my cheek, thinking that maybe I’d get one too,” she chuckled. “That obviously never happened. And I am stuck with same silly, lopsided smile I’ve grown with.”

“But that has never stopped me, has it?” she sighed. “My mother always told me that I should smile, even when I’m not happy, because it tricks us into believing that we’re happy.”

She paused momentarily, as she thought of her mother. “My mother was always ambitious…she’s doing quite well now.” Her breath hitched slightly. “Her new family is quite nice too; they treat me very well…”

“But sometimes I feel I don’t belong with them, Yixing. And that isn’t because I intended to stay close to you and your house, don’t get me wrong,” she chortled. “I was really immature back then.”

 

She fidgeted with the hem of her skirt. “I don’t think I should say anything more…I’m certain it brings back unpleasant memories.”

 

She remained mum for a moment, trying her best not to think about the past. “You know, I never really got the chance to apologize to you…and since I’m a coward, the only time I can is now.” She glanced at his sleeping figure which automatically brought a smile to her face.

“I’m sorry, Yixing…for being such a nuisance.”

 

She fell silent again, pondering on whatever had happened in the past. She had chased away every girl that tried to approach him in school and all of his friends he brought home from college. If anything, Yixing had been quite patient throughout all of it. He had sat her down and explained, in the kindest words, that he could never return her feelings. She could never be mad at him, but it was hard to let go of him that easily. So, she followed him everywhere he went, even after he begged her not to do so. And that was when Yixing lost his calm; he threatened to file a complaint against her. Her grandmother had to intervene and beg him not to do so. His parents were equally infuriated; they only decided to drop the case when her grandmother assured them that she’d be locked up in the house.

 

She had thrown a huge fit for the first two weeks, but by the third week she had been a little less aggravated. She made used of that time to read, and the only thing she could find was a couple of books about botany and flowers. She had picked up the most interesting one- the language of flowers. And as she started reading, she felt intrigued. The book explained the culture of giving flowers to people. Each flower signified a simple message, but somehow it seemed more meaningful. She had found something else to divert her attention into.

 

The digital clock beeped loudly, breaking her off her reverie. She scrambled on to her feet quickly.

 

“I should go, Yixing. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

 φ φ φ

 

 

“I brought roses today,” she said, placing the pale pink flowers in the glass jar. “They’ll bring you joy.” She hesitated slightly, but brought her hand forward to brush his soft hair out of his forehead.

 

“Your parents are doing okay. Your father leaves for work right on time, and your mother busies herself with the chores. I can see that they miss you, a lot.”

 

She bit her lip, eyes wandering throughout the pristine white room. She wondered why all the hospitals designed their buildings in such a way- lackluster and unappealing. It was as if they wanted to the life out of their patients by confining them in the dull, white rooms, where they were prohibited from doing anything remotely exciting. How did they expect them to get well if they were stuck in such an environment. She got up to open the windows, letting the fresh breeze in.

 

“I wish you could see this, Yixing,” she sighed in content, the mere sight of the fully-bloomed trees cheering her mind. “It’s a beautiful day in spring.” Her eyes were fixated on the view outside, admiring the valley of colorful flowers. They seemed to brighten up everything around.

 

“You know, I’ve always felt that flowers are just like us humans,” she said, still facing the window. “They bud, bloom and eventually wither. But even in their withering state, they’re beautiful.”

“Don’t you think so?” She turned towards him, her back leaning against the window. “Or am I spouting senseless things again?”

 

“I have always been told that I speak a lot,” she laughed, “and I’ve tried my best to control it. Perhaps, I should try harder…because if you can hear me, you must be cursing me.”

 

“I think the only person I stand a chance with is someone deaf.” She shook her head, making fun of herself. “Why must I be this way?” she exhaled loudly. “Your girlfriend is a perfect girl, isn’t she?”

 

“You both match well.” She took slow steps towards the other end of the room. “She’s your true counterpart, your soul-mate.”

 

“She must be devastated; I can see how much she loves you. And I know I shouldn’t say this but I’m certain that I love you more…you’ve always been a part of my life, Yixing, although I was never yours.”

 

“Miss?” She turned around to see one of the doctors on the team, smiling at her politely. She returned the smile, bowing slightly.

 

“Just a routine check-up,” the doctor briefed, checking the i.v. tube and the ventilator.

 

“Do you think he’d wake up soon?” she inquired, although she knew the answer.

 

“Still too early to say, Miss.” His face bore a sympathetic look as he faced her. “Let’s hope for the best.”

 

“But it’s been almost a year,” she whispered, trying to hide her grimness. The doctors always seemed to say the same thing; they had never assured her that Yixing would wake up. They couldn’t give her a definite answer; they always seemed to brush off her question rather vaguely. It was as if the doctors had given up their hopes too. She wished she could do something, something other than praying for his life. Had his family given up too? What would happen to him in that case? She believed her presence would make a difference, she believed he could hear her voice. She wanted him to know that he had people, willing to wait for him to get better. She wanted him to know that people missed him, and needed him to wake up. And she would talk to him until that day comes.

 

“We are doing everything we can, Miss.” The doctor smiled softly at her, before leaving the room with Yixing’s file in his hands.

 

She turned towards Yixing, who hadn’t moved from his previous position. “So, where was I?” she muttered, her dry lips. She had been distracted by the doctor’s visit; she decided not to let any bad thoughts get to her. She seemed to be a loss of words, which happened quite rarely. She settled quietly on the small chair next to his bed, observing him silently, as his chest rose every time he breathed. The healed scars on his face appeared faint, but it could still be discerned. It was going to stay with him from now on, she thought, reminding him of the horrible incident.

 

But, she could always count on a miracle, right? She had even read about such things in the news, about people who woke up from the deep sleep, years later. And some of them led a normal life, as if nothing had ever happened. She wanted it to happen to Yixing too. He deserved it; he deserved a second chance at life.

 

φ φ φ

 

The next day, she walked in holding a stalk of blue irises, with her usual bright smile that never seemed to fade. She was about to walk in to his room, when she noticed he already had visitors- his parents, and his beautiful girlfriend. She was about to turn around and walk away when Yixing’s mother called out her name.

 

“May I have a word with you, my dear?” the older lady asked. She could only nod in return. The look on the older woman’s face wasn’t something she wished to witness. She dreaded what was coming next. There might have been a reason why all of them had decided to visit him all of a sudden, when they had done nothing but ignore his presence for the last few weeks,

 

“We’ve been thinking,” she began, eyeing her warily, “it’s time to let go-“

 

“No,” she screamed, “you can’t!”

 

His mother sighed