Summer, 2007, Age 14

 

Wind rustling through the trees. Water flowing down a creek. Sunlight, reaching through any breaks in the leaves it could find, creating dancing shadows on the rocks beneath our feet. I would never forget these things. Her light brown hair, falling freely from her ponytail, something she hadn't been able to do ever since she tried cutting her own hair. The smattering of freckles, dusted across her slightly upturned nose. Blushing cheeks and light brown eyes. Pink lips and braces on her teeth. I would never forget her.

She turned to me with a smile and said, “It's such a nice day out,” throwing her head back so the sun could find her perfect face. Not wasting a moment, I brought the camera hanging around my neck up to my eye to take her picture. She didn't notice, and I was glad she didn't because she usually got mad when I tried taking pictures of her. Suddenly she jumped up, feet splashing out of the cool water, and shouted, “Follow me, Yoongi! There's something I want to show you.”

If she had told me to jump off a bridge, as long as I were with her, I would do it. I felt so strongly about this girl it nearly knocked me to the ground. We had met when we were eight. She had just moved into town—her mom was a nurse, her dad a doctor—because her dad found a better paying position. By some mistake in the school's system, she was put into my class, despite it being full. I thank my lucky stars for this everyday. I'll never forget when she walked in, head down, face then completely covered in freckles, bangs covering her forehead, crooked teeth, a pink dress that was slightly too big. The first person she made eye contact with when she looked up was me. Her large, nearly golden, eyes looked so scared, so I smiled at her. I knew what it was like to be new; I had moved to this Oregon town from Korea when I was five. She smiled back, and I could almost physically see the relief roll off her.

“Class, I would like to introduce you to our newest student. She has just moved here from South Carolina. Everyone, this is Adelaide Bellamy.”

I remember hearing her name and thinking, No name will ever be more beautiful than this one. I was so distracted in my thoughts I almost missed the soft, tiny voice coming from the front of the class.

“Um, actually, Mrs. Gonzalez, would it be okay if they all just called me Addie?”

“Oh, of course, sweetheart,” our teacher cooed. “Now, let's see here, who would be willing to share their desk with our Addie?”

I nearly toppled my desk trying to get the teacher's attention. “Mrs. Gonzalez, I'll share my desk!”

“Is that okay with you, Addie? Yoongi is a very nice boy. He won't bite,” our teacher said, laughing at herself.

Addie smiled at me, “Sure, Mrs. Gonzalez, I don't mind sitting next to him.”

And for the past six years we have been inseperable.

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

“Yoongi, are you coming?”

I was pulled out of my walk down memory lane by Addie's clear voice. She was standing a few feet away from me, waiting for me to follow her. I had a tendency to get lost in my thoughts, particularly if they pertained to her or I was behind my camera. God, she looked so cute. She was wearing an oversized, holey T-shirt and paint-covered jean shorts, her hair was stuck to her forehead and neck with sweat, but she just looked so beautiful it hurt.

I smiled at her, then stood up, letting my camera fall back down to hang from my neck, and said, “I'm coming, I'm coming, calm down.”

“Well! I've been trying to get your attention for the past two minutes. Do you have a TV in your head or something?” She poked the middle of my forehead when I reached her and added, “You're always getting lost in there.”

“Oh, yeah, I have a huge, flat-screen up there. It really comes in handy when my parents are yelling at me,” I said, laughing.

We were walking farther down the creek than I had been before. The water was a lot lower here and the trees on either side were thicker, causing the temperature to noticeably drop but because it was summer it was still fairly warm.

“Someone's done some exploring,” I said as we walked along. Addie was in front of me, teetering on rocks and splashing in what water she could. Her back was turned to me, so I snuck another picture.

She turned around, an amused look on her face and said, “Well, when you're helping your parents at the store or playing basketball I need something to do. Besides, this place is like... a refuge for me. Whenever my parents start arguing I just ride my bike here and hang out for awhile.”

The atmosphere grew less lighthearted when she said this. For the past year or so, Addie's parents had been arguing more than usual. She never said anything, but I knew it bothered her a lot. I went to her house at least three times a week and every time I was there, her parents fought. Lately, she had been asking to come over in place of me going to her house. She wanted to get away from their fights. I wanted to help her, to take her away from there. I wanted her to feel comfortable at home, instead of awkward and unwelcome and unhappy, but what could a 14-year-old kid do?

All I knew was that she needed me, and I'd always be there. No matter what.

“Oh! Yoongi! We're almost there, come on!” Addie's sudden outburst startled me. Lost in my thoughts again, I thought to myself with a small smile. She grabbed my wrist and we started running toward wherever or whatever it was Addie so badly wanted me to see. I didn't know what it was, and I didn't care. Her small hand on my wrist was all the assurance I needed.

We ran through the creek like that for a few minutes. I wasn't focusing on my labored breaths or the sweat dripping down my back or my white shirt sticking to my skin, all I could think about was the fact that she was holding my wrist. Finally, she stopped running and turned around to face me.

I glanced around, not seeing anything out of the ordinary and asked, “Um... is this it?”

“No, dummy! Just close your eyes.” She was looking at me expectantly, so I did as I was told. Then, she took both of my hands—she was holding both of my hands!—and started pulling me forward. I cheated and peeked. She was walking backwards and smiling. I hadn't seen her this happy and free for a few weeks now. But then... she was trying to maneuver around a wobbly rock which was also covered in wet moss. One misstep and... she was falling. Her hands disconnected from mine and with almost otherworldly speed I was at her side, rescuing her from hitting her head on one of the numerous stones. I twisted around to make sure I landed on the ground instead of her while also making sure my camera didn't get damaged, and ended up hitting my side on sharp rock and then hitting my head on another, thankfully flatter, rock. I groaned in pain, but I was also incredibly relieved Addie didn't get hurt. The last thing I remembered of that day was Addie rushing to me with huge tears in her golden-brown eyes. Her small hands were covering . Before everything went black I tried reaching out to her, to tell her I was okay, but I was too late and she was too far away.

 

 

 

I honestly used to think that if I ever woke up in a hospital room, it would be like how it is in the movies. My mom would be sleeping with her head on my bed while holding my unmoving hand, my dad would be sitting on a chair in the corner, elbows resting on his knees, head in his hands.

I suppose that's what I get for thinking.

Almost instantly after opening my eyes for the first time in who knows how long, Addie was jumping on my bed and hugging me around my neck while saying, “Oh my god, Yoongi, I am so glad you're okay. Oh my god, it's all my fault.” I tried squirming away from her—not because I didn't want her hugging me, but because her knee was on my IV cord—but she wouldn't let go. Aside from her nearly pulling my IV out in her excitement, Addie pulled my call light out of the wall, causing an emergency alarm to ring throughout the hallway my room was in and the nurses to come running, only to see a 14-year-old boy being straddled by a 14-year-old girl.

My eyes met the nurse's as she ran in, thinking I was dying. I was so embarrassed I wished I really was dying.

“Excuse me, what's going on here?” she asked, angrily. “Yoongi, you're supposed to be resting, peacefully. As in...” she motioned at Addie and I, “none of... this.”

I glared up at Addie, silently signaling her to get the hell off me before my parents also came rushing in and witnessing what appeared to be their son losing his ity. Addie awkwardly dismounted me, keeping her head down. I knew she was trying to look remorseful, but I could see her smiling through her sheet of hair; the nurse, however, could not.

“That was definitely not what it looked like,” I said, attempting to defuse the situation. “This is my friend Addie. She was there with me when I fell and she was just glad to see I was doing okay.”

My nurse laughed. “I know who she is, sweetie. She's been here everyday, almost all day, for the past 8 days.”

“Oh, right...” I said before realizing... “Wait, I was out for 8 days!?”

“You were,” Addie said, finally lifting her head. “It was really scary.”

“But you're awake now, and that's what matters,” my nurse added before asking if there was anything I needed and then quietly exiting the room.

After the nurse left, there was an awkward silence, which was almost tangible. I couldn't imagine what I would do if Addie fell and hit her head, and then was passed out for 8 days straight. I'd feel so helpless and scared and...

Addie was crying. Sobbing, actually.

“Addie... are you okay?” I asked, my voice sounding husky with emotion. It killed me to see her cry.

“Oh, Yoongi,” she said, and then threw her arms around my neck and continued crying without a word for about ten minutes. All I could do was hold her and rub her heaving, small back with my hands. She smelled like vanilla and honey. Her soft hair was falling all over my face. It smelled like coconut. My lips were pressed against the bare skin of one of her arms. I would stay here forever if I could.

Finally, she pulled away from me, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She looked so beautiful, even after crying. The tears in her eyes amplified their amber color. Her face was flushed. Without thinking, I reached out to help her wipe away some of the tears. She looked surprised when my hand made contact with her wet face, but then she smiled gratefully, making my heart soar.

Through sniffles and small sobs, Addie managed to say, while looking down at her feet, “I'm just... I'm so sorry, Yoongi. It should have been me who fell... It should be me in that hospital bed. Will you ever be able to forgive me?”

I laughed without meaning to. “Forgive you?” I asked with incredulity. “Addie, there is nothing to be forgiven. I...” I paused and ran an IV'd hand through my black hair. “I took the fall because the thought of you getting hurt and doing nothing to stop it... Well, I just couldn't let that happen, okay?”

She nodded, still looking down, and asked sheepishly, “I need to work on my clumsiness, don't I?” Then, she laughed and looked up at me. She was so adorable when she laughed. Her brown eyes turned into crescent moons and her pink lips parted, revealing her turquoise blue braces covering her white teeth. She would be getting those off soon, and I knew she was dying to eat movie theater popcorn, so I had been saving some of my allowance in order to take her to the movies.

“When I get out of here, I want to go see whatever it was you were trying to show me. Please?” I exaggerated a smile and scrunched my eyes. Sometimes this got me my way with my parents, so I figured it might work on Addie too. But judging by the way she averted her eyes and shifted uncomfortably, I could tell it had failed.

“I would have told you sooner, Yoongi, but.... well, you were kind of asleep for 8 days. Our parents kind of had a discussion shortly after you got here, and they, like... Well, they don't want us going down there anymore. My parents got really mad at me and you know how badly they've been fighting lately and I don't wanna make anything worse so we should probably just do what they say. I'm really sorry, Yoongi... I wanted to show that place to you, but I guess it'll have to wait until we're older.” Addie's eyes began to well up with tears and while it bothered me that our parents weren't allowing us to go to the place that we had been going to nearly everyday for the past month, I was more upset that Addie was upset.

I shrugged nonchalantly and said, “It's okay, it's not like the creek is our only place to hang out.” I paused, remembering that Addie liked to go there while I helped my parents at their store. It looked like she remembered that too because her face clouded with disappointment. “You can come work at the store if you want. I'm sure my parents would love having you around more and my brother hates having to work there so you can just take his place,” I offered, trying to make her feel better.

She smiled. Tears were running down her face, but she was still happy. “Yeah,” Addie said, her voice weak, “I'd like that. Let's do that.”

 

 

 

….

 

 

 

So we spent the rest of the summer like that. In place of our creek visits, Addie and I worked side by side at my parent's store. Long work days turned into even longer nights. After the store closed, we would grab honeydew popsicles and go to the roof. I wasn't sure if it was possible to get closer with Addie, but those nights we talked about anything and everything. From our dreams to our fears, our weaknesses and strengths, things we hated and loved. She would gaze at the stars and I would gaze at her. Sometimes we would just lie down and look up, our hands would be inches from each other. The space between them felt electric.

One night we stayed on the roof so long we got to watch the sunrise. It was a moment that I would never forget. We had spent the last 30 minutes watching cars go by, making up stories about why they were out at 4:30 AM on a Wednesday. Without even realizing it, the world began to grow lighter, casting a pale blue filter all around us.

Then, in wonderment, Addie exclaimed, “Oh, Yoongi! The sun is rising!”

She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the edge of the roof, giggling. Her hair was in a messy bun, strands dangling in front of her eyes and trailing down her neck. She had gotten cold during the night, so I gave her the jacket I was wearing. It was so big on her that it came down to just above her knees. I had to roll up the sleeves about ten times before her hands came out.

As the sky grew ever brighter, so did Addie's smile. She turned to me and said, “I've never watched the sun rise before! I'm so excited. Are you excited?” I just looked at her, wondering what I did in my past life to get such a sweet person by my side. However, my absence of a response earned me a soft punch in the arm. “Don't ignore me,” Addie said, laughing. “Are you excited?”

“Yes, yes, I'm excited. Happy now?” I smiled my gummy, small-toothed smile at her and then gently flicked her cheek. “Now shush and watch the sunrise.”

She pouted, not satisfied with my happiness level, but turned her attention back toward the rising sun anyway. Her face melted into pure joy as the sun slowly crept over the horizon, illuminating the roofs of the other surrounding shops and houses. Everything was orange and pink and yellow. The darkness of night was fading away. The sky was changing from deep purple to lavender to light blue. It mixed with hot pinks and oranges. As beautiful as it was, I couldn't help but to think Addie was more beautiful. Her hands were clasped together over her heart, stray tears leaked down her face because she was in such awe of the morning sun. I cursed myself for not having my camera with me.

“It's so beautiful, Yoongi...” Addie whispered, eyes locked on the horizon.

Without taking my eyes off her I agreed, “Yeah, it truly is, isn't it?”