*****MEGHAN'S NOTE*****

Hey everyone, thanks for checking out Lost Love! It's the first fanfic I've ever written so I hope you guys enjoy it! I'll be updating as much as I can, especially since winter break is coming up now. I hope you guys like sebaek and angst!

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Sehun hated the night. The way it made his apartment seep with silence, the darkness sheathing all of his belongings in monochromatic loneliness. Plain grey sheets against plain black bedding faced a plain white ceiling. The young man’s long, colorless body lay sprawled between the clouds of soulless shades. None of it felt right. He wasn’t supposed to be this alone. His world wasn’t supposed to look so lifeless. Sehun closed his eyes and flinched as he was struck by a glimpse of the past, the vivid color striking him violently in contrast to the dullness he had gotten used to.

The image behind his lids was so breathtakingly beautiful that he felt all of the air being pushed out of his lungs until he felt as empty as the apartment that he called his home. On the inside of his lids he saw a boy as bright as the sun on the warmest of summer days. Luhan. Bronze hair swept messily across the boy’s forehead, hovering gently over his sparkling, innocent, deer-like eyes. Sehun watched helplessly, gasping for air, as the boy smiled, his face beaming down at him. The boy’s gorgeous grin molded his mouth into the shape of a perfect crescent, his eyes squinting so much that Sehun could hardly see them. Then the radiant sun lowered his head towards Sehun and the younger couldn’t help but tilt his head up in response, his lips aching for the tender contact of his kiss. But there was none.

Sehun opened his eyes. And he was alone. He was gasping for air again, and it took a moment for him to notice the warm wetness of tears sliding down his thin cheeks and recognize sound of his own sobs. Finally willing to accept his despair he rolled onto his side, folding himself into a small ball and wrapping his arms around himself tightly. Maybe if he squeezed himself together it would be easier for him to pretend that the aching hole in him didn’t exist.

Lying against the pillow that had begun to dampen with every wave of sobs, he stared unseeing through a black and white window. He made sure that he did not move because if he did he might end up touching the right side of the bed, which had been unoccupied for nearly a month now. If he did, he would finally have to accept the fact that this bed was no longer shared between him and the light of his life.

Eventually, as he did every night, Sehun succumbed to his thoughts. Of course you’re alone. You’re not good-looking, charming or smart enough for anybody. You’re cold and repel everyone away from you. You’re always sad, quiet and moody. Who would be willing to put up with you? Who would even try? Just him. Not only did you push him away, you even managed to push him towards someone else. He didn’t even care about you enough to break up with you before moving on. That’s how little you mattered to him. You should have seen it coming. After all, why would someone as perfect as him be with someone like you? He’s much too good for you. You’re not good enough for anybody. He was the best you could ever have and now he’s gone and you’re all alone. You’ll always be alone.

They were always the same thoughts over and over again, replaying relentlessly in his brain. During the day Sehun was able to drown out or at least muffle the thoughts by going to class, listening to music or cooking. But at night, right before bed when there was nothing for him to do, there was no way to drown them out. It usually took him nearly two hours every night to finally fall asleep.