I live in the days where Donald Trump has been elected President of the United States, Mexico, and South Africa for the past 7 years, where Kanye West has become the ambassador for the United Nations and the governor of the state of Massachusetts, and where all of East Asia is combating in a 5-year long war over music. , huh?

My name's Lee Namu. As a senior in college, I don't have the time to...you know, get involved in the whole warfare thingy. I need to get my edu-ma-cation on so I can make my own company that sells the discounted version of Honey Nut Cheerios, only it'll have 759 kilograms of sugar, 90% more sodium than Canada Dry, and will have the writing on the box entirely in a secret writing so the people in America won't understand it and not read the labels and eventually develop major diabetes and cancer and die. But that's irrelevant.

I have this really awesome friend named Kaiya, who said her name was Japanese, but she doesn't even know what it means. She's a bit emo, and she strangely agrees with all my ideas, espicially my idea of my own cereal company. But she's obsessed with this one band. She says they're called EXO. I've heard their music and I think it's...okay. Some say they're the reason for the war in East Asia. I dunno how I could like them after hearing that...