It was about year when Yoongi started lying to himself...

„So..tell me...did you love someone before?“ Kook asked his hyung. Yoongi only smiled. But it was sad smile on his face.

„Well...yeah, I did,“ Yoongi nodded, „but it's been long time ago...“

„And how it was? Were you together?“

„Yes, we were...and we were happy.“

„Then what happend to you?“

„It's a long story so...“

„But I want to hear it, Yoongi-hyung.“

„His name was Kim NamJoon. I loved him a lot...maybe too much for my own good. And it seemed like he loved me the same way as I. All the time I thought that he was a fire...and I was only a book with a lot of pages for him. But it wasn't like that. He cared about me a lot, he just didn't show it,“ Yoongi looked down at his feet, „you know...he was my first lover, my first boy. Everything was wonderful and I was happy. But he was ill...very ill. Not physically but mentally...and I recognized when he started...with selfharm. He looked very strong and gentle but...he wasn't strong. Yes, he cared about me, he protected me...he was dominant. But sometimes, he couldn't take it anymore. I found out after year of our relationship. I didn't know what to do. I was in shock and I cried...I talk with him a lot about it afterwards. He told me how much he was ill...how much he was scared of losing his friends...me,“ Kook placed his hand on Yoongis cheek and wiped away his tears.

„But it was me who lost someone...who lost him.“

„I'm sorry hyung...“ Kook whispered and placed soft kiss on Yoongi lips, „I wouldn't ask you again.“

It was about year from NamJoon death. And even Yoongi was with Kook, somenting went off. And Yoongi lied about it to himself.

No. He didn't love NamJoon.

He didn't.

„Not anymore,“ he lied again.