My Diary,Topic 4

Date:One year after my mum's death.

Weather:Fine

Dear Diary,

One year has passed.Since the day Mum died,since the day I went to the orphanage.Well, what happened during the pass 1 year was making new firends in the orphanage and living a new life there.Although I still can't really accept the fact that Mum has gone and will never come back,I trusted Sister Maria and the other nuns to raise me up,like how my Mum wanted me to be.

During that 1 year,there are still many nights I couldn't sllep,thinking of Mum.And the same thing would happen again.Those sleeping closest to me,KyuJong and HyunJoong would wake up and console me.KyuJong's hankerchief and HyunJoong's bear was all I need to stop crying almost every night.Sometimes the kind and observant HyoYeon would wake up too,and pat me to sleep,like a big sister.

I have opened up now.I listened diligently to Sister Maria when she was giving us lessons in the afternoon,I go out to play with them at night.The most noise I will make was crying in the past,but now,it has became laughing.I became alot braver and cheerful.And thats how I made friends now with alot more people.The closer ones were YoungSaeng and JungMin.If you wonder why they are guys,its because they are KyuJong's buddies.That's how I know them and became friends.

Although I have opened up alot but,unlike HyunJoong who has started to talk and speak long ago,I still could not open my mouth and speak.Something inside me made me afraid to do so.

Today,is the death anniversary of my mother.I didn't know it until later.After lunch,the Ahjumma who I met last year came again.I could recognise her.I sat on the bench with HyunJoong and KyuJong when she approached us.When she smiled at us,HyunJoong realised it was someone he knew and ran to hug her again.After she released herself from his hug,she came closer to me.

"Hello dear,do you remember me?I'm that Ahjmma" she smiled.

I simply just nodded my head.

"Ok,we will go see your Mum today." she smiled warmly again.

I didn't know what she meant.

"Did Mum became alive again?Can I really meet her again?" I thought.

She held my hand and brought me out of the orphange and led me into a car.HyunJoong tagged along since he kept holding that Ahjumma's hand.Who exactly was that Ahjumma?I don't know.I didn't bother to ask though.Soon,we reached a place.I didn't know where it is then.But it was the cemetry.

That Ahjuma led me to a tombstone.On the tombstone,there was my mother's picture.She was smiling.Now I believe,that she would never return,like how I thought a while ago.

"Dear,its your Mum's death anniversary,it was one year already." she said to me.

I understood what she was saying immediately and tears immediately formed in my eyes.HynJoong stood there rooted while that Ahjumma patted on my shoulder before putting down a boquet of flower on behalf of me.i looked into the eyes of my mother in the picture.Although she was smiling,I got a feeling she was telling me something important through.

When I looked again,and since she was smiling so warmly,I guess all she wanted to say to me was "Be happy,live a happy life.I love you dear".It was all written in her smile that I could see it clearly and understand it properly.I would also want to convey my message to her then...I thought.But it seemed like I really talked to her.Although I didn't say it out loud,it was from my heart.I know,she heard it.

"Mum,I promise I will be a person with a pretty heart, a person who is selfless. I think of mother who used to share my dreams and brush my hair,read stories to me and sing lullabies till I sleep.Though I may make wrong and hurtful choices,I know you would silently watch over me from above.
 Now I understand you,mother and the meaning of your silent prayers for me.My heart is still small,but I will give more love to others,like how you gave all to me.I don't know if  I can do better without holding your hand,but I will try my best.I’m afraid that I will still lack but I’ll be a wise daughter of yours, a proud daughter no matter where I go.I’ll keep the love of your wishes,I’ll show endless love and I’ll have a warm heart. I miss you, Mum.I really love you,Mum."

That was what I thought deep in my heart.I know Mum heard it.I started to cry the more I thought of my mum,I started to cry even more when I thought about my promise to her just now.Will I fufil it? I don't know.But I will try my best to do so.

"I love you,Mum" were my last words to her before I left the cemetry.I then realised I said that out loud.It was the first time I spoke since Mum died.HyunJoong was surprised while Ahjumma gave me a tissue and helped cleaned away my tears.The more she cleaned,the more tears would come out.I really missed my Mum.While HyunJoong was just standing there saying "Don't cry,Don't cry" as Ahjumma wiped away my tears.I finally stopped crying and we left the cemetry.

We reached the orphanage and spent the rest of the night quiet.Until at night,when I was in my bed,I cried again.The same thing happens.A few words,a blue bear,a hankerchief,some pats till I slept.

Mum,I miss you,I love you.Thank you.
 

Your best friend,

SoMin

Hi guys,sorry to change it into HyunMin,Hope you don't mind.Just continue to imagine the girl you are imagining if you insist but since I'm a Pkisser,and readers are,n I made the poster/banner,I just changed it.If you found out,I used SNSD's 'Dear Mom' but changed a little.Sorry,if you are angry,forgive me please.Sorry for all the mistakes you find and Thx for reading.Remember to SUBSCRIBE and COMMENT!