“Joanna?”……Joanna?”

I heard my name being called, but since I was half awake, I didn’t respond to it and tried to fall back asleep. 

“Joanna!”

I heard my name being called again and it really started to bug me.  Why would anyone want to wake me up on a ing Saturday morning……….unless!

“Joanna wake up or you will be late for your University’s orientation.” My mom yelled.

My eyes immediately popped open to what she has said.  I see my mom in my room digging in my closet, probably trying to find clothes for me to wear at my orientation. I am 18 years old! I am too old to be having my mom dress me up for occasions.   

However, she was right! Today is my first day of college and I really didn’t want to be late for it. My dream is to be a makeup and fashion artist for the performing arts, so I enrolled in a performing arts university.  The university is called “University of the Performing Arts” (UPA).  It is known to be the most competitive performing arts school in LA.  What I was most excited for is to meet new people……And hopefully, more open minded people.

“Did you sleep well honey?” Asked my mom.

“I slept alright, but I’m extremely nervous. Mom, I’m really not good at meeting new people. I don’t want to embarrass myself” I gave a worried expression to my mom however, she responded with a rather confused look.

“Don’t be silly dear! You did fine meeting new people in your first day of high school.  It will be the same principle when you go for your first day of college.”

“Mom! People in college are different.” I yelled as my face started to turn from tan to red because of how frustrated I became.

“How they are different?” Chuckled my mom.

“Well……Umm they are older?”

“Joanna just go down stairs and eat your breakfast. I will pick out your clothes for you”

“No! I am old enough to dress myself! I will figure out what to wear!”

“Fine fine, just hurry up or your father will be angry…..you know how he is.”

I watched my mother leave my room and I got up from my bed.  The first thing I did was look up at the mirror. I looked into my almost shaped eyes and was in great relief that I slept well enough to not have any dark circles under them.  I looked into my wooden closet to find what to wear to orientation.  I honestly didn’t want to stand out, and be the center of attention, so I choose to play it safe and simple. I picked out a simple black dress and some black ballet flats.  I also planned to put my hair up in a high bun to show off my cheekbones that everyone would compliment me on.  Once I planned my outfit out, I headed to the shower.

 

~30 min later~

I walked downstairs with my hair done and my clothes on. I see both my mom and dad. My dad in the dining room dressing nice in a turquoise stripped button down shirt and black dress pants. His jet black hair shining more than ever combed to the side.  I see my mom in the kitchen pouring coffee in her mug.  She wore a bright orange dress that brought out her dark complexion and white high heels.  She decided to wear her thick long curly hair out.  My mom heard my footsteps and turned around to see me with an unamused look on her face. I was extremely uninterested in what she was about to say.

“You are going to such a creative university and that’s the outfit you come up with? You finally had the opportunity to prove yourself to me that you can dress for yourself, but you end up dressing like you are going to church. I can’t believe…..”

“Valencia please! The poor girl isn’t going to learn how to be independent if you keep dissing her choices.” Snapped my dad. He was right. My mom should let me be.

“Jin, I’m just doing the best for her, she isn’t going to make any friends if she is going to look like plain jane.” Yelled back my mother.  I can see her face started to get red from frustration though it was less noticeable because of her brown complexion.

“Please! Joanna is Blasian, she is unique by default.”

He was right though, it’s not every day you will see a Blasain, so I will automatically stand out with my ambiguous features. My skin is tan.  My eyes look more western, but they are almond shaped and have a less prominent eyelid crease.  My hair is thick and wavy, like a mixture of both my mom and dad’s hair.

My mom was appalled at my dad’s comment since she doesn’t like it when people bring race into situations. She just watched my dad with an annoyed look which I know means that she is going to have a talk with him when I’m not around. My dad is really going to get it.

My dad just continued sipping his coffee. He was on his laptop reading the Chinese news.  Even though he left China twenty five years ago, he is still interested in what’s happening over there.  He suddenly closed his laptop and looked at me.

“Are you ready to leave? Have you packed your bags yet” He asked.

“Yes, I just have to put my bags in the SUV.”

 

~30 minutes later~

My mom dad and I were in the SUV, my dad being the driver.  30 minutes had passed and I really have to use the bathroom. Even though UPA is only 45 minutes away from my house, I don’t think I can hold it any longer.

“Mom are we almost there?! I have to use the bathroom.”

“Sweetheart wait. We are only 15 minutes away.” Said my mom.

“Just stop at the side of the road so I can pee.” I pleaded, but my mom just chuckled.

From the rear view mirror, I noticed my dad looking at me with a serious look.  His lips slightly started to move looking like he was about to speak.  I know that look.  He is going to tell me something about life or some important like he always does.

“You know Joanna, I’ve heard that creative Universities like yours have many students that you know……..are queer.  They might seem convincing telling to everyone be open minded with their bull, but do not, I repeat, do not let them force their liberal views on you.  You were not raised that way and there was a reason you were not raised that way.  It is not normal and you will not go far in life doing so, especially how society sees those people.  Yes, I know you can’t change your uality, but these people can make you confuse and think you are one of them….”

I tightly clutched my fist that were resting on my legs.  I grinded my teeth trying to keep quiet.  I turned to my mom to see her having a nonchalant expression which was a sign to me that she is confirming that what my dad said was okay.  Inside of me was about to burst.  I hate it when my dad talks badly about the LGBTQ community.  My mom doesn’t approve the community either, but she isn’t vocal about it because she assumes I’m straight so there is no reason to discuss about it. However, my dad is on another level.  He prefers me to not associate with them, he thinks I might get confused and turn into them….If only they knew I was bi.  I suppose I am glad that I am bi so that only half of me is a lie.  I can pretend not to like girls and keep on liking guys.  But hey! On the bright side, now that my parents won’t be around when I’m in college, maybe I can have the opportunity to get with some girls.

“Look! We are here! Oh wow Joanna this campus is beautiful! It’s much prettier than my campus in Missouri when I was in college.” Gasped my mom in which resulted me to immediately looked out the window.

She was right! The campus was beautiful.  I first caught my eyes on the humongous main building where part orientation will take place in.  It was great in height in width, probably 15 stories high!  It was burgundy which is a pretty color.  The rest of the campus had other buildings for the different performing programs, I was overwhelmed in how huge the campus was.  It was impossible to describe it by just seeing it once.  I was especially impressed with the bright green grass. I don’t know why but I like campuses with grass to just study on or relax on.

“Joanna look at the students! Especially the girls!  They are dressed so hip.  Oh my gosh are those the stilettos without the heel? Didn’t lady GaGa once wear those? And look at this girl’s mesh top, now that’s so hip.  Joanna these girls are making you look basic” Nagged my mom.

“Mom first, never say hip again and second, those shoes Lady Gaga worse must have costed a fortune”

“Valencia let the girl wear what she wants.  She doesn’t have to and most importantly doesn’t need to follow the crowd in this school.” Said my dad in which I partially agreed with him since I noticed he was indirectly saying not get too close to the LGBTQ students.

“Just find us a parking spot” Nagged backed my mom.

My dad looked around to find a parking spot, but unfortunately, all the parking spots that were close to the main building were all full.

“Dammit, the parking spots are full” He yelled.

“Just find a parking spot in the back” suggested my mom.

“No! It’s too far from the main building, I will sweat. I am not sweating on my daughter’s first day of college.”

“It’s not even that far from the building. We are going to be damn late! Just park all the way in the back.”

“Stop nagging me woman.  I will look for a parking spot, but there is no way in hell I am going to park in the back.  It’s too damn far and I will sweat!”

“Well maybe if you lost a few pounds and get into ing shape, maybe walking that distance wouldn’t be a problem for you!”

For God sake! My parents will not shut up! I swear they argue for every little thing.  I let out a huge sigh and took out my iphone and decide to text my best friend Gillian so that time can just past and we can finally find a parking spot so we can go to orientation.  I know for a fact that my parents will most likely argue at the orientation as well in front of peers. How embarrassing! Can this day get any worse?!

 

~An hour later~

I started freaking out in my seat.  This is atrocious! I am just a makeup and fashion artists.  No one said we are going to have to perform in front of all these students. I can’t compete with all these gifted students, especially those seven Asian boys! They look like they could kill the stage with their presence

To be continued