One Year Ago…

            When Jongin graduated and headed off to SMU, we both had the inclination that our relationship would be able to surpass absolutely anything.

            We were both wrong.

            Things had actually been going fine between us for those first few months. He and I both went to school, studied and the like, then saw each other on the weekends. The drive from our high school to SMU was only an hour max, so it wasn’t some huge hassle for Jongin to drive all the way down here to see me. He had to visit family too, so the long distance aspect of it all worked out. I would even sometimes visit him up at SMU and stay the night. We saw each other enough, still had many things in common, and all of the feelings were still there. Nothing in this world could’ve torn us apart.

            But the moment when my relationship with Jongin began to fall apart, was the day he met Krystal Jung.

            It was in the second semester of his freshman year. He had a whole new set of classes, one of them including History of Architecture. Ironic, because when he was registering for the semester I’d been the one who’d recommended that class to him because of its creative appeal. Sometimes I think back and wonder what would’ve happened between us if he hadn’t taken that class, if I hadn’t even suggested it to him at all. But what’s the point of wondering when it’s already been said and done, right?

            As far as I knew, Krystal had her eyes set on Jongin from day one. I mean, who wouldn’t? Jongin was a rare guy to come by, one who was so extraordinary and kind in so many ways. I didn’t blame her for being immensely attracted to him, but I do blame her for tearing our relationship apart.

            I wasn’t aware of who Krystal Jung was until I came to visit Jongin on his birthday. I wanted to surprise him so I hadn’t told him that I was coming. When I arrived at his dorm at around 8 PM, his usual study time, I was puzzled to find him not there.

            His roommate at the time had been none other than Oh Sehun. I’d seen him in and around a couple of times during my visits, although we never talked until that day. “Where’s Jongin?” I asked him.

            Sehun took off his earbuds and said, “Probably with Krystal Jung.”

            “Who’s she?” I asked.

            Sehun’s face turned bitter, although it seemed like he was trying to hide it. “She comes by to talk to him sometimes,” was all he said.

            “Do you know where they could be?”

            Sehun scoffed. “What do I look like? A tracking device?”

            “It’s just a question.”

            He shrugged. “Probably student lounge.”

            I had no clue where that was. Sehun must’ve realized this also as he got up with a sigh. “I’ll just go show you where it is,” he mumbled as the two of us walked out together.

            So I followed Sehun to the student lounge to find Jongin and this girl named “Krystal Jung” huddled together a little too closely to my liking on one of the couches.

            “Jongin,” I said.

            He looked up. “Joy?” A smile spread across his face as he got up and hugged me. “Hey! What are you doing here?”

            “I came to surprise you for your birthday,” I said. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Krystal give me a death stare.

            “I was just studying for History of Architecture,” Jongin said. “You were right by the way, it’s an awesome class. I’m really glad that I’m taking it.”

            “Uh huh,” I said, still eyeing Krystal. “I’m sure.”

            Jongin must’ve noticed my tension with Krystal because he then said, “This is Krystal Jung by the way, just a study buddy of mine. Krystal, this is Joy Park. My girlfriend.”

            She didn’t seem to like the title of “study buddy” in Jongin’s book, as she didn’t even bother to introduce herself in front of me.

            In all honesty, it should’ve been no surprise to see Jongin so friendly towards another girl. I was aware of his magnetism towards others. It was what made him so enjoyable to talk to and be around with.

            But from the moment I saw her, I knew that Krystal Jung wouldn’t just be some ordinary case.

            During Jongin’s birthday dinner that evening, I asked him about her.

            “She’s just a study buddy,” Jongin replied simply as he ate his pasta.

            “Yeah, a pretty study buddy,” I added. “I don’t know Jongin. I mean, I know you don’t like it when people judge and whatever but I have a bad feeling about her.”

            “Why?” Jongin asked. “She’s really nice.”

            “Is she?” I asked.

            Jongin nodded. “Helps me out and everything. Buys me food, too.”

            “That’s not being nice,” I argued. “That’s called flirting.”

            “Joy,” Jongin said, serious. “She’s nothing to me, alright? You know that you’re the only one.”

            “I guess,” I said.

            “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “She’s nothing.”

            I’d believed his words to me that evening. And perhaps, at the time, he’d meant it. But as the spring semester progressed, calls from him became more scarce. He wasn’t visiting as much as he used to. One could assume that he was busy with school, and I’d assumed that also. That is, until I visited him on Valentine’s Day weekend.

            It was expected that he and I see each other during this time of the year, so I didn’t understand why he looked so surprised to see me when I showed up at his dorm at about 10 AM that morning.

            “Joy?” he said when he opened the door. He didn’t look stressed or worn out. If anything, Jongin looked the same as when I last saw him. “I thought you weren’t coming this weekend.”

            “Why wouldn’t I?” I asked, puzzled.

            “You haven’t been replying to my texts.”

            “What?” I said. “You haven’t been replying to mine. You have been completely MIA for the past month. I thought you were busy with school. Weren’t you?”

            “Ummm not really.”

            “Then what’s been going on?”

            “I should be asking you. Because you haven’t been super active either,” Jongin said.

            “Okay I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said. “Because I do text and call you but you just don’t reply.”

            “No, you haven’t,” Jongin said. “That’s what I do to you and you don’t reply to me.”

            I was getting really confused. I was well aware of how I’ve been trying to contact Jongin but he seemed adamant on the idea that I haven’t been contacting him at all.

            “Forget it,” I said, pushing the issue aside. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”

            So with that, I made myself comfortable on Jongin’s side of the room just like I always did. He and I didn’t say anything to each other as I unpacked.

            Jongin wanted to take a shower before the two of us head off on our Valentine’s Day date. When he left the room, I noticed his phone on his bedside table.

            Still confused about our entire argument earlier, I checked his messages. To my confusion, my thread on his phone was indeed empty. Where had all of my messages and calls gone?

            I took out my phone and tried texting him.

            Nothing popped up.

            I then tried texting myself through his phone.

            Nothing popped up either.

            I wasn’t particularly tech savvy, so I wasn’t sure how this was even possible.

            All I knew was that someone had tampered with Jongin’s phone with the intentions of cutting off any contact between him and me.

            And I had a clue as to exactly who it was.

            I didn’t tell Jongin. Or at least, not yet. I didn’t have any proof or confirmation, and all of this was only an assumption. But deep in my gut I knew it was Krystal.

            I kept my lips sealed however, because I figured that all of this would be a phase. I thought that she wouldn’t be that big of a deal, that she would find someone else to manipulate before I knew it. I mean, SMU is huge. Why Jongin out of all people?

            My assumptions were wrong when prom season came around. As far as I knew, I was planning to go to prom with friends. My date was Kim Junhoe, and it was completely platonic because he knew about my relationship with Jongin. I had just needed a date for pictures, and I told Jongin that also. He said he understood. My prom was on the same week as his finals, so I insisted that he stay at SMU to study. After prom weekend, I made the trip up to him anyways to properly tell him about how prom went and to talk about our plans for the summer. But when he saw me, he didn’t look too pleased.

            “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

            “I’m surprised you even came up here,” Jongin said. “Thought you would’ve forgotten about me.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “I saw that picture of you with Kim Junhoe at prom.”

            “Yeah, and?” I asked expectantly. “It’s just a picture. And you said you were okay with it.”

            “His hand was on your waist.”

            “So?”

            Jongin tried shrugging it off. “Whatever. Thanks for coming though.”

            “Wait,” I said, still trying to tie things in together. “I take pictures with guys all the time and for prom I told you about Junhoe and our plans. You said you were fine with it. You were never the jealous type. What would make you think that something could even possibly be up between me and Kim Junhoe?”

            Jongin didn’t say anything, which to me was saying a lot: I already knew the answer to my own question.

            “It was Krystal,” I said. “She said something to you didn’t she?”

“Joy.”

“She manipulated you into thinking that I was cheating on you, right? Krystal Jung?” I was getting angrier by the minute. “That ing did all of this.”

            “?” Jongin asked. “You mean Krystal Jung?”

            “YES KRYSTAL JUNG,” I yelled. “Who else would do this to me?!”

            “Joy calm down, okay? You’re wrong. Krystal would never do something like this.” I didn’t like how he was taking her side.

            “How can you possibly say that?” I asked. “Of course she would. She ing hates me. You know why? Because she wants to get with you.”

            Jongin’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why would she? We’re only friends.”

            I was getting sick of this. “How can you be so blind?! She’s wanted you from the day she met you. And who's the person standing in her way? Me. THAT’S WHY SHE WANTS TO GET RID OF ME!”

            “But don’t you trust me?” Jongin asked. “I said she’s not a bad person.”

            “And you don’t trust me?” I retorted. “I say she is.”

            “How can we be together if there’s no trust between us anymore?” Jongin asked.

            “You’re the one asking me that?” I asked in disbelief. “She’s the one who set me up!”

            “Krystal is a nice girl,” Jongin said, and I have no idea how many times he’s tried to convince me of that. “Maybe, I don’t know…”

            “You don’t know what?” But I already knew what was coming.

            “Maybe we…” He bit his lip. “Maybe we’re done.”

            “No,” I said. “No, we’re not. You’re still you and I’m still me. It’s just--”

            “--just what? Krystal Jung? Joy, that’s insane. And not plausible.”

            “It’s perfectly plausible,” I argued. “You’re just too blind to see it. You know what, I’m done with this . Maybe you’re right. Maybe we are done.”

“Joy.”

“NO,” I shouted. “Stay away from me.”

“Joy, I’m sorry.”

I shook my head, tears shooting out of my eyes. “You’re not sorry. You always think you’re right, even when the truth is in front of your eyes. You had a choice, and you chose her over me.”

“That’s not true,” he said, but even still I didn’t believe him.

I walked away, and he didn’t chase after me.

In that moment I already knew that we were done. Whatever trust Jongin and I had in each other was now gone, diminished. He didn’t trust me after hearing me pin this entire debacle on the girl who he thought was a saint. I didn’t trust him anymore after knowing that despite everything I said, he still didn’t fully believe me.

            A couple days later, word got around that Jongin had moved onto someone new. I didn’t even have to ask. I already knew who it was.

            I hadn’t wanted to lose him. I’d tried so hard to keep him, to have him stay with me but in the end, Krystal Jung had gotten what she wanted.

            Things weren’t easy after Jongin and I ended. For almost two years, he’d been my other half. He was the one who had encouraged me to be a better person, to do well in school and excel as high as he did. I tried meeting new guys, going on meaningless dates, but there was no one able to fill the hole in my heart.

            When I got accepted to SMU, I was hopeful. I knew that I would have to see him again eventually, and at the time I thought that perhaps things could be patched up between us. Maybe he’s not with her anymore. Maybe we’d run into each other again at a party and he’d be there to save me, just like how it happened the first time. I thought that I would always want Jongin back. He was my first love. Wherever I went, no matter how much time passes, I had believed that my heart would always go back to him no matter what.

            Now, I wasn’t so sure.

A/N: Hey guys! So just to let you guys know, I'll be "editing" this story a bit, just basically crunching in a couple of chapters together (and not having one chapter just be, say, a two minute read).

TL;DR: nothing will change story-wise. The number of chapters will just slightly change, that's all :)