The rain still poured steadily into the night, tapping softly on Mark’s window. The sound of it soothed him as he finished his shower. He relished in the warm water as each drop fell along his pale skin, tracing the paths of his lines and curves. He let the water run though his blonde hair and drip down the long planes of his neck before he finally shut it off. 

He exited the bathroom, digging his toes into the soft carpet of his bedroom as he padded to his dresser. He lit the candles that sat on top and around the room before returning, running his fingers over the various oils he owned and pondering on which he should wear. He stopped when his fingers brushed across a vanilla almond scent he was given as a gift. He would use that one tonight. It was Jackson’s favorite. 

Mark padded across his carpet once more, before sitting on the black and gold satin sheets that were tangled across his king sized bed. Still wet, he poured the oil into the palms of his hands before warming them and dragging his oil covered fingers across the pecs of his chest and the flat surface of his abs. He rubbed the oil along his calves, sharp hips, and over the curve of his and thighs. The touch reminded him of a touch he missed so much. The thought of his absent lover occupied his mind as he oiled his other leg and between his toes, over his shoulder and down the dip of his spine. 

The vision of his hand began to blur as he worked. A stronger and more masculine hand took over his mind’s eye. He gave a soft smile at his little illusion. He didn’t need to imagine anymore, though. His Jackson was home now.

The blonde then grabbed a towel to rub the excess oil from his wet body, the cloth rough although it glided smoothly along his skin. His mind was filled with Jackson once more and the feeling of his calloused hands as they ran across his skin and through his hair. He missed that touch. He missed the feeling of the man’s strong thighs in between his own quivering pair and as he passed his towel over his skin, Mark drowned in nostalgia and in the need to feel those fingers again. 

Sighing at his silliness, he tossed the towel into his woven laundry bin.

He must be going crazy if even his towel was bringing back memories. He laughed at his fear of losing his sanity as he finally began to sift through his closet. If Jackson’s driving him crazy, he’s not quite sure if he minds. 

The boy continues to filter through his clothes as he searched for something to wear. He ran his fingers through his wet hair, enjoying the drops of water that ran down his fingers as he tried to decide. 

He knew that he wanted to continue to feel all the sensations that he does now. He also wants Jackson to feel them as well. He wants Jackson's blood to run hot as the man caresses his skin through his clothes. He wants the man to feel the fabrics that he’s covered in and be reminded of him and Mark wanted to swim in the feeling of Jackson too. 

He let his mind run with the possibilities until his eyes fell on a cream colored, oversized sweater. It was the same color of Mark’s skin according to Jackson and to Mark it always felt like Jackson was holding him when he wore that sweater. It embodied what they both missed. It was perfect.   

He pulled the sweater from his closet and tossed it on his bed, a pair of soft black leggings following after. He opted out for jeans. He wanted to be soft and smooth under Jackson’s fingers tonight – with or without his clothes. He skipped his underwear draw altogether sitting in front of his mirror instead. 

He began to styled his blonde hair in soft bangs and free of gel. Mark wasn’t trying to be fierce or forceful, so there was no makeup, or no eyeliner. He didn’t need that tonight. He wanted Jackson’s presence to be the thing that made him feel beautiful tonight. 

As he searched his reflection once more he thought of the last time he was in his room with Jackson, and waiting for him. He closed his eyes, letting his mind remember the sight of his smile and the taste of wine on his lips as they kissed. He could just feel the ghosts of his hands as they squeezed and searched. Mark smiled, that towel had nothing on the real thing. 

He laughed at himself as he stretched his spine and shook his blonde hair, thinking he should start getting dressed now. He put the leggings on first, finding them strange on his skin since he’s used to wearing jeans, then put on the sweater. He grinned at his reflection, finding the way he drowned in the sweater comical. The man was still pleased, though as he crooked his neck to further expose the long column of his throat and the deep dip of his collarbones. He knew that Jackson would like it. The man had a thing for his neck and he loved leaving hickeys behind to show a job well done. 

After the small show he put on, Mark decided to finally call the man that he’s been thinking of so much to let him know that he’s on his way. He dialed the number, a smile spreading on his face as a raspy voice answered on the first ring. 

“Markie,” the voice questioned.

“Yeah,” Mark whispered in return. He noticed his voice was softer than he expected. It was like the sound of Jackson's voice knocked the wind out of him. It made him feel smaller and more delicate – and he liked it.

“Hey babe,” the other breathed into the phone, “You’re still coming over?”

Mark smiled at the question. He could tell that the man was tired. Jackson had just flown in, but he still could hear the excitement in his tired voice at the thought of seeing him and it made Mark’s heart swell. Jackson had missed him too.  

“Yeah boo, I’m still coming,” Mark answered.

Mark could hear the other’s raspy voice give out tired sighs as the man moved around on the other end of the phone.

“Sit tight,” Jackson said with a tired grunt, “I’m on my way.”

“Stay right where you are,” Mark said with a sultry voice, “I’m coming to you.”

“Oh yeah,” Jackson questioned, his voice dropping a few octaves as well.

Yeah, I’ll be there in a few.”

“Wait how,” Jackson ask, his voice rising again in confusion, “I thought your car was in the shop.”

“I’ll call a cab,” Mark shrugged. It didn’t matter how he got there, just as long as he got there. 

“No you won’t,” Jackson ordered, “I’m coming to get you.”

“Don’t waste the energy, Jackson,” Mark smiled before letting his voice drop once more, “I need you to use that energy elsewhere. Don’t worry, I’ll get there.”

Jackson deep voice rumbled in a chuckle over the receiver and Mark smiled softly at the sound. He’s missed that laugh. He wanted to see that smile. He needed to melt into those smiling eyes as they shown through the flickering candlelight and into his own.

“If you’re sure Markie than I’m ok with it,” Jackson sounded and broke Mark from his thoughts, “I just want you here with me, Mark.”

Once more Mark felt soft and weak because of Jackson’s voice – his words. He whispered to him, “As do I, Jacks. I promise that I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

“I’ll be waiting, baby.”

“Then I won’t make you wait for long,” Mark smiled as he stood and blew out the candles in his room, “I’ll be there soon.”

 “Ok,” Jackson sighed out and Mark can hear the relief in his voice, “Be safe. Bye baby.”

“Kay,” Mark said, “Bye boo.”

Mark hung up with a heavy heart. He was so near, but so far. However anything was better than the miles and oceans that separated them before. He brought the phone to his ear once more, this time determined to close the gap, and dialed for a cab. With the reassurance of five minuets he waited. 

He checked himself over once more, eyes traveling over his shining eyes and straight nose, down to his thick lips and attractive smile. During the time that Jackson was gone, Mark would do this often. He would take in his features and wonder if Jackson missed them as much as he missed the fencer’s wide, innocent eyes and cute boyish smile. However before his thoughts could drift too far he was disturbed by a phone call from the cab driver telling him he was down stairs. 

Mark jumped with sudden urgency. The time was here. He was going to see the man he missed again. 

The boy rushed down the steps and into his leather ankle boots, dragging a matching jacket from his closet and an umbrella from a basket nearby. Bursting from the door, he ran out into the fall rain with his umbrella still folded in his rush. He pulled the door open to the back seat and snuggled inside. 

I didn’t make you wait too long did I,” Mark had asked the driver, but the question was for Jackson. Their time apart was long enough. He didn’t want his tardiness to make it longer.

“No,” the man said as he turned and gave Mark a bright smile that caused his eyes to disappear behind his high cheeks. The driver then placed his arm along the back of the passenger seat, “So where you’re headed?”

Mark could feel a light pink dust across his cheeks as he gave Jackson’s address to the man. 

“Oh, that’s a nice neighborhood,” the driver commented, “You live there?”

“No,” Mark answered before smiling slyly, “Not yet anyway.”

“Oh, yeah,” the man laughed as he gave a peak at his passenger before pulling off, “I’m Jaebum by the way. My friends call me JB.”

“Mark,” he answered.

“So,” Jaebum continued before giving the rear mirror a smirk for Mark to see, “From the way you’re dressed I’m guessing that you’re out to see someone special.”

Mark gave a soft smile to the window and nodded. 

Everything was really starting to sink in. He’s finally going to see Jackson again – face to face. They no longer had to speak only over the phone or through computer screens. 

It was then that Mark began to realize that being able to physically feel the other man no longer mattered so much. Instead Mark's stomach flipped at the thought of being able to hear his deep, raspy voice again without electrical interference, to see his sharp yet boyish face and it not be made of pixels but his actual skin. 

Having Jackson inside of him wasn’t so much of a desire as having Jackson beside him is now becoming. He missed being able to speak with him and not think of the time difference. He missed rubbing his shoulders as he came in from a long day of work. He missed cooking for the man when he was too exhausted to do it himself. He missed the late nights of just cuddling under satin sheets. He missed whispering dreams and futures to one another as candles burned red in the darkness, them trying to seek each other’s features out in the shadows. He truly missed all these things and now he’s finally going to have all of that back. 

“Yeah,” Mark finally whisper lowly, “Very special.” 

He’s going to have Jackson back – all of him – and it scared him just how much he’s longed for this day.

The driver peaked in the mirror to speak to Mark again but stopped short. JB frowned. The small loving smile the other man was wearing had dimmed into a contemplating frown. “What’s wrong?”

Mark didn’t answer the man straight away. Instead he stared blankly at asphalt as it whisked quickly by. His eyes followed the cars as they passed, water from the storm ricocheting from their frames as they sped by. As he watched he couldn’t help but to think that time has passed by just as rapidly. His heart was falling just as quickly. 

As he stared out into the rainy night, he wondered for a moment if Jackson was falling just as fast or has the time apart done more harm than good.

“He’s been out of the country for some time now,” Mark sighed, “We’ve only been together for eleven months and he’s been gone for four of them.”

JB hummed after Mark spoke, “Don’t worry.  Time apart only makes the heart grow fonder. If there was something special when he left, then you should be met by something even more beautiful now that you two can see each other again.”

Mark blinked away from the window and chuckled at the other’s kind and insightful words. 

“You’re quite wise,” Mark said as he turned to the window once more, “With a silver tongue like that you must have someone special too.”

“I got two,” JB smiled. He continued to explain when he saw Mark’s raised eyebrow in the rear view mirror, “I just recently became some kid’s old man.”

“Congratulations,” Mark beamed, “Boy or girl?”

“Boy, 6 months,” JB smiles, “Named him Youngjae.”

Mark sighed wistfully as he stared out the window once more, “That must be amazing.”

“It is,” JB smiled. He looked into his rear view to speak some more but once again decided against it when his eyes caught his passenger absent mindedly rubbing his lower abdomen under his sweater. 

‘That boy’s so deep in love. I wonder if he even knows it yet.’

The two continued on in silence, the lights of the city slowly gliding across the pale skin of their faces as the fall storm outside continued to rage on. Mark leaned his head on the window watching as life passed by. His mind was full of thoughts about the night ahead. He was so doubtful, yet so purely excited. He had his questions, but he still couldn’t stop his heart from beating faster as each street passed by.

“We’re getting close,” JB announces, “Just entered his part of town.”

Mark nodded to the other’s words even though he knew the other wouldn’t see the gesture. He was so close. 

As the taxi sped on he noticed the structures around him becoming more familiar. Mark knew this street. He sat up straighter in his seat and wiped the fog from the window, hoping to see pass the rain and to his favorite place. His eyes rake the streets as they passed, the red and orange lights of passing cars being the only thing Mark saw until JB pulled to a stop at a red light. Mark leaned to get a better look through his window and smiled at the familiar red and white stripes that hung above over-turned metal tables and chairs.  The blonde was instantly doused in nostalgia.  

Motello’s,” Mark whispered.

“Mo – what,” JB asked before looking out his window, “Oh, Motello’s. The food’s delicious there!”

“I know,” Mark smiled, “We had our first date here.”

“Oh yeah,” JB smiled as he tapped his fingers on the stirring wheel.

“Yeah,” Mark said as he smiled fondly, “It was horrible. He was a nervous wreck and I was a shy introvert. It was so awkward.”

Mark gave a happy sigh as he stared out the window once more, turning over his shoulder when the light turned green and the small diner began to fade past his sight. He never would have thought that months later he would still be with the ‘incompetent goof-ball’ he met that night. He’s smarter now, though. He held the night that he saw Jackson’s sheepish, nervous smile and held that strong yet sweaty palm as the best night of his life. 

Mark sat back with a smile. He couldn’t help but to think that things were so different now. There were no more shy glances from across dinner tables or nervous good night kisses on the cheek. His puppy was full grown now. He holds his hand with confidence now and smiles fully without modesty. A part of Mark missed those days though. Falling in love with Jackson was so much fun, but being in love with Jackson is so much better. 

Instead of butterflies in his stomach, he gets a warm feeling that generates from his very essence and spreads in his veins and through-out his entire body. Just the thought of him can bring pure happiness to his soul. Mark could feel a smile blooming on his face and he shook his head at himself, holding his face in his palm. He was so in love. Why did it take him so long to figure out that he's holding something so much stronger than longing in his heart? He turned back to the window with a smile. He decided then that he should just resign himself to his fate.

JB turned to speak to Mark again but he saw the boy staring out of the window in a daze again, a soft loving smile on his lips. JB thought briefly that the other looked beautiful like that, with the yellows of the street lights illuminating him in their glow and drops of the raging rain dripping their shadows down his peaceful face. JB thought that the person that could make the boy look so satisfied was very lucky. Then JB thought that actually, he’s quite lucky himself. Love was quite a beautiful thing.

Mark didn’t even notice the eyes on him as he continued to stare out of the window. It’s been months since he’s last seen this side of town and the need to have Jackson close was stronger than ever now that he’s seeing it again. He pulled his sweater closer into himself, seeping what warmth he could. He couldn’t help but to wish that the arms of his sweater were the arms of his lover instead. Even if they were similar they weren’t enough anymore.

How much longer, JB,” Mark asked as he looked over to the back of the driver’s seat.

“Actually, kid, we’re here.”

Mark quickly turned back to his window in disbelief to only realize that the man had been telling the truth. He was finally here. He just sat there, staring at the multistory glass mansion, stuck in his seat. 

Mark jerked back from the door when it finally opened with JB standing on the other side with Mark’s umbrella held out for him. The driver simply ignored the reaction, taking his hand into his own and helping the nervous blonde out of the car and onto the sidewalk.

“Thanks,” Mark said as he dug into his jacket and paid the man.

“It’s my job,” JB shrugged and gave the boy his umbrella. He turned to go back into his cab before he noticed that the blonde was still on the sidewalk, staring up at the glass planes and wooden panels of his lover’s house just beyond. “Go on, now.”

Mark turned, shocked that JB was still there, “Huh?”

“He’s waiting for you isn’t he,” JB questioned, “Your special someone?” 

Mark nodded, his eyes returning to the house. Jackson was waiting for him – just beyond those doors. It was so hard to believe after so long apart. To think that only a flight of steps and a pair of double glass doors were the only things that separated them now and Mark was too afraid to traverse them.

The blonde shrank into himself. He simply just couldn’t ignore the deep red the surrounding trees have changed into and how it was so different from the forest green they once were the last time he’s seen them. So much time has pass.  The air felt so much cooler than the warm summer breeze they once basked in and as the autumn storm continued overhead he wished he could get those four months back. 

 The driver could see the hesitation in the other’s eyes and could practically hear the boy’s mind churning. Sighing, he gave Mark’s shoulder a hard squeeze before pushing him gently up the steps, “Then don’t keep him waiting, Mark.”

Mark looked behind him shock before taking in the home once more. Then again he could also see the flickering lights of burning candles just beyond the windows. He could hear the soft music as it filtered pass the windows and to the street below. He could even smell the dinner that the man fixed inside and then it dawn on him. Jackson did all of this for him. The thought brought warmth to his heart and he wasn’t so afraid anymore. He wasn’t in this alone.  

With a deep breath Mark pressed his finger on the doorbell.  As the bell rang within the glass walls, Mark could feel his excitement returning and the doubt fading. His mind was rushed with the many memories he had in this house. He thought of the many times he stood on this porch and pressed his slender finger in the smooth groove of the doorbell. The many times he was greeted with a smile and a kiss, a strong arm wrapped firmly around his slender waist and sitting in the dip of his lower back. He thought back to the meals shared at his wooden double table, the game nights on the soft white sectional and the heated lovemaking sessions in between Jackson’s deep green sheets. Even after all this time everything still felt so comfortable.

Mark could see Jackson behind the glass as the man hurried to the door and excitement started to bubble in his chest and spread a smile across his face. Even through all his thoughts he still can’t deny that the sight of him still brings him joy. Then the fencer pulled the door opened and paused. They both did. 

Mark sighed as he took Jackson in. He was dressed in a loose fitting black button up that showed the tan skin of his chest and tight black jeans that wrapped nicely around his thick thighs. His hair, blonde, and away from him face, made his look older, yet the bright smile that blossomed on his face at the sight of Mark brought back his boyish charm. It was really him, different but still his Jackson.

Jackson eyes were shining so brightly as he watched him. The other’s smile’s so innocent and so warm. Mark could tell that the expression came straight from Jackson’s soul. No, he really wasn’t in this alone. His heart was melting in his chest from the relief and pure freedom that he felt. Mark was free to love this man and knew that Jackson loved him back.

 “Markie,” Jackson whispered.

“Hey Jacks.”

The next thing Mark knew he was being held close, Jackson’s arms wrapped around him and his umbrella open and twirling at his feet. The two stood together under the rain, their faces hidden in the crooks of each other’s throats with the heavy rain soaking them both. 

“I missed you, Markie,” Jackson whispered into his ear as he placed small and gentle pecks along Mark’s throat.

Mark breathed deep, taking in Jackson earthy scent. He basked in the warmth of his hands, the strength of his arms and the soft sweet touch of his lips and he realized that all the things that he compared Jackson to simply paled in comparison to the real thing. He really missed Jackson and damn it felt good to have him back. Before Mark knew it tears began to fall from his eyes and small sobs from his throat.

Jackson pulled the other from his shoulder and looked at him with worried eyes, “What’s wrong baby? You’re ok?”

“Yeah,” Mark nodded, “I- I just missed you. I’ve missed you so damn much.” 

Jackson laughed before pulling his Mark back to him, “I’ve missed you too, babe.”

“We better go inside, boo,” Mark laughed as well, “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

Jackson nodded as he ushered Mark through the door before yelling, “Oh, by the way, I made dinner!”

Mark raised an eyebrow, “You made dinner or did you burn dinner?”

Well,” Jackson began before showing Mark a sheepish smile that was so reminiscent of the one he gave Mark on their first date that it made him smile, “Dinner actually burned me.”  

“Huh,” Mark started before bursting out laughing, “You were cooking without a shirt on again weren’t you?”

“Whaaaaat,” Jackson said with a hand on his chest, “No, not me!”

Mark just rolled his eyes before shutting the door behind him. He truly did miss this man.

______________

JB smiled to himself as he watched the couple laugh before heading inside. Love was truly a beautiful thing. It brought out the best in people.

He put his key in the ignition, but before he could pull off, his phone rang loudly in his cupboard. He unlocked it before checking the screen, answering with a smile when he saw who was calling.

“Hello?”

“AHHHHH!”

“Ah,” JB flinched before pulling the phone away from his ear. He looked to the screen to see if it was who he thought it was before putting the phone cautiously back to his ear, “What was that?” 

“Youngjae, don’t yell at the poor man,” the voice on the other end chastised, “I know you’re excited but you don’t want your papa to go deaf do you?”

JB smiled as he heard his son let out another scream, as if to answer. The tone even seemed like he was defending himself. He laughed. His boy was a little fighter already.

“Yah,” the other voice continued, “Don’t talk back to me!”

His son screamed once more, his tone a little harsher.

“Do you hear this JB,” the other said jokingly, “Our son is turning into a little delinquent! You need to hurry up home and help me discipline him!”  

“God, Jinyoung” JB smiled, “I’ve missed you two today.”

“Huh,” Jinyoung questioned. It was strange to hear such words from his husband. Jaebum wasn’t a very romantic man and although he loved his family very much, Jaebum was too embarrassed to say words like that. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” JB exclaim, his cheeks turning pink, “I can’t tell my family I miss them.”

Jinyoung laughed because he just knew that JB was blushed a pretty pink right now. “No,” he said with a smile before becoming serious, “I’ve missed you too. Hurry home, honey. Your two favorite boys need you here.”

JB smiled bright, his eyes disappearing, “I’m on my way. I’ve just dropped off my last client.”

“We’ll be waiting.”

With that JB hung up and pulled off, rushing back to his family that he missed dearly. 

I don't know where this came from, but it is another songfic. The song is name Cab Ride and it's by Tweet. I don't know, I just wanted to write about missing someone, both the bad things and the good. The nerves, the excitement, and the memories as well as the sadness. For some reason people only write the bad part of missing someone, but I wanted to show it in a warmer light. It was those thoughts plus the song that made this. I hope you liked it!