Jimin knows the other side feels lonely. He knows it. But he can’t help wanting to leave. Yes. He wants to leave. Leave everything. He’s cold. So ing cold. He could stand up and get a towel if he wanted, but he doesn’t. He shifts a little bit deeper into the freezing water that is keeping each of s from moving. It feels like thousands of little needles -no- knives are trying to pierce through his flesh, and he likes it. He likes it. He sees from the corner of his eyes white snowflakes falling outside the open window and lets out a sharp laugh.

Only one.

Only then does he suddenly feel the cold air on his face, freezing, slowly, each of his muscles. He doesn’t cry, he never did anyway. Nor does he let his mind wander, no. He concentrates on the pain because if he makes the mistake of thinking about someone… something else, then he could change his mind. And changing his mind would be even worse than what he is feeling right now. Jimin tries to remember for how long he has been there, he makes a real effort to remember but his mind doesn’t seem to want to collaborate. And he understands, who would want to do math at dawn of death?

He can’t feel his toes and his legs are almost all numb. He stared at the snow falling from the grey clouds a last time before letting himself slip until he is completely under water. A wave of pain hits his whole body like a shiver. Jimin knows he won’t see his whole life before his eyes when he will leave for the other side. He has been too bad for this. He knows the only things he’ll see are his mistakes. He knows he will see them. Wait for me, he thinks and for the first time since weeks he feels like crying, but it’s too late.

Everything is too late.

Just like everyone.

He hears footsteps echoing and tightly shut his eyes. Don’t come in. Don’t save me. Don’t. He wants to scream. He doesn’t focuse on the sounds he’s hearing because he knows his mind will translate them into familiar words, words he’s too scared to hear. At that moment he feels his mind slowly losing the game. He can’t think straight. Everything is blurry in his head. He can hear his heartbeat in his ear. It’s growing more and more irregular. The last thing he sees before meeting the others, is a smile he knows way too well. A smile that distort into something else. Something he swore to never think about. The door opens in a loud fuss. Two arms reach to get Jimin out of the water. Falling to his knee the youngest keep his hyung close to his heart while crying and yelling at him to come back.

Don’t leave me alone, hyung. Don’t do like all of them. What about me? Why are you leaving me here? Come back, I need you. You promised…

Butterflies can’t fly when it’s snowing

Neither can I

However, I surely know how to run

But I won’t run away

You have me Jungkook, I promise

Are all butterflies liars then, hyung?

**

Im sorry wow I just realized I post this in the foreword smh.