Spilling forth like stars, defying the darkness.
It’s time for me to make you bloom,
make even the tears you’ve hidden shine.
The dawn has come, everything is going back in place,
and it’s here and now I will give you my everything.

***

 

It was slightly late when Yujin left her place, she walked halfway the corridor when a figure came to her sight. Leaned against the wall not far from the lift, Sehun was folding his arms to the front. She carried on walking without even looking at him until she stopped in front of the lift, it had just left the highest floor when Yujin reached it. Sehun moved to stand beside her.

“Going to that place again?”

“None of your business.”

“Do you still want to meet him after all?”

“Not even your problem.”

He roughly turned her to face him, she groaned from his sudden tight grip on her arm.

“What’s wrong with you?”, she exclaimed.

“Listen, I’m not judging you just because of that things, but you’re still going to meet that jerk again even after what he had done to you, I couldn’t help but judging you hard.”

She tried to let go of his grip, but he was just way stronger than her, “I don’t care if you’re judging me or not, now let go of this.”, she eyed his grip.

“If you really want to wreck yourself, at least do it correctly from now on.”

She was astounded as he let go of his grip.

“Ride with me and I’ll show you how to do it properly.”

The lift finally arrived and they stepped in, finally reached the basement after minutes of silence. Yujin followed him to his bike. He got on his bike smoothly before he beckoned her to get on. She hesitated but did as told anyway, got on behind him in less seconds than the last time she did it. He handed her his helmet but she refused.

“I don’t want your scent to linger in my hair.”, knowing that he needed it more than her.

“What?”, he turned and laughed.

“Where are you going to take me then? Make sure it’s better than the club.”

He smiled as he put on his helmet, kicked the pole off the ground and started the engine. Without the helmet, she realised that the engine was actually louder in the basement. They darted from the parking lot to the street that heavily packed with cars and passersby.

“Weekend traffic.”, he mumbled.

He speeded up once they passed the main packed street and turned to a less packed road. She hardly opened her eyes due to the strong wind that kept blowing her bare face and sent her hair waving helplessly behind them. She gave in and buried her face in his back with her hands awkwardly gripped on his shoulders instead of circling his waist. Sehun peeked through the rear-view and smiled.

“Don’t even dare to smile, I won’t fall for your trick and do you mind to slow down a bit, I’m suffocating here.”, she mumbled behind his neck.

“I can’t hear you.”, he snickered.

She felt the ride was way longer than the first, she lifted her head occasionally to find out that they were heading out of the city when she started to see the shore.

“Are you planning to kidnap me eh? We’re heading out of town, I’m not stupid you know.”, she complained, and again, he pretended to hear nothing.

She dozed off by the time he slowed down until stopped at last. He was turning off the engine when she tilted her head to find them were on the edge of a steep cliff, beneath them the waves were roaring to break the shore. Her eyes widened at an instance.

“Are you crazy? Why are we here?”, she exploded as he turned at her.

“Get off my bike.”, he said shortly.

She frowned, “No, I have this feeling that you might push me off that edge.”

“What do you think I am? Some sort of psycho like your friend uh?”, he breathed out of desperation, “Just get off the bike, so I can get off too.”

She hesitated but climbed off the bike anyway, he followed her shortly. Now they were standing next to each other beside his bike.

“Now what?”, she subtly asked.

“Now it’s your turn. Jump off that edge and I will make sure no one helps you, not even me, isn’t that what you want all this time? All that drugs and cigars, and your careless manner.”, he paused to examine her expressions, “why aren’t you jumping right now? You’ve been through all that and now you want to step back?”, he smirked, “what are-“

He hadn’t finished his sentence when she slapped him hard on his face. “Stop it! You don’t know me at all.”, he turned as she continued, breathless, “Stop pretending that you know me.”, she turned and walked away abruptly.

He was stunned on his feet, watching her sat on the ground away from the edge.

She folded his legs to her chest and buried her face in it as she leaned against the huge rock. He followed to sit beside her.

“I’m sorry.”, he whispered.

She remained still.

“Please don’t cry again this time.”

“Why should I cry?”, she suddenly spoke.

“Good then.”

“I thought you were different, I thought we were the same, but now it turns out that you’re just like the others, telling me to stop ruining myself, seeing me as a dying girl who needs to be helped,”, she sighed, “why didn’t you just leave me ever since the first time we met at that rooftop then, I’m no more than a dying stupid girl for you, I can see it in your eyes.”

“Why you keep saying that you’re the only one dying here?”

They remained silent for a moment before he slid to lie on the ground. He stared blankly at the clear night sky, summer was going to end soon. She peeked through her folded arms, his eyes were now closed.

“Don’t try to steal a look at my face, up above you is a better scene to be stared at.”, he suddenly spoke to her shock. She blew the air out of softly before she looked up to the sky. It was indeed a better scene, she thought. She was still admiring the night sky when Sehun opened his eyes, “nice isn’t it? Summer is over soon.”

She looked down to meet his gaze.

“Don’t look at me like that, you make me scared.”

Sehun chuckled to her complaint.

She followed him to lie on the ground when the rough cold surface was striking her back. She continued to stare at the clear sky before she turned to face him.

“Lucky we’re here in summer, I can’t imagine how freezing this place is during autumn or winter.”

He nodded at her.

She returned to face the sky and tried to close her eyes, listened to the sound of the waves beneath.

“You’re not the only one here to think that you live a worthless life.”, he spoke without looking at her. “to the point that you only want to end it soon and envy people who can live theirs to the fullest.”

She exhaled silently as he continued.

“There was a time when I kept trying to kill myself, I took a tube of meds at once, stopped eating and drinking for days, and even drowned myself, but I was just too afraid to cut my wrist or jumped off the building, do you know why?”, he paused and turned to face her, she shook her head lightly before he continued, still looking at her, “because I was just 8 when  the thoughts kept coming into my head.” , she was holding her breath, “don’t look at me like that, now you scared me.”, he tittered.

“How could you think like that?”, she carefully asked, examined his fragile blank stare.

“I don’t know, it just happened right after my mom passed away.”, he caught his breath when she mouthed sorry. He closed his eyes just before she got a hold of his hand, cold and trembling. He opened his eyes to her sudden touch.

“It’s okay Sehun, now I’m here with you.”, she whispered. Their fingers entwined as they looked into each other’s eyes. No one spoke a word, their eyes locked in a deep silence before he brought their hands to his lips. She could feel his soft lips on her skin when her arms outstretched to reach his face, she it gently.

Their heartbeats raced as he brought his face closer to hers, his other hand slipped under her back and now she was utterly in his arms. His face was hanging above hers as he her face back. Her hand was down to his shoulder, tried to uselessly maintain the gap between them.

“Aren’t you afraid of me now?”, he suddenly whispered as their tip of noses met. She smiled and shook her head lightly before he gently pressed his lips against hers. She couldn’t even think when his lips grazed over every inch of her thin lips, they were softer than they seemed, so delicate. She was gapping for the air that she needed to push him away gently. He waited as she breathed heavily, she smiled and pulled him closer to her just before he planted another kiss on her lips, he smiled between their kiss as his lips began to trace her jaw line, down to her neck, lower to her clavicle when his hand tried to her shirt. she pushed him fiercely away to his common sense. She fixed her shirt as he looked at her in an apologetic way.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to-“

She stayed still.

“Yujina,”

“It’s okay, I’m just-“, she halted midway as she leaned her back against the huge rock. He followed to sit next to her. None of them spoke when he accidentally looked down to her trembling hands, she tried to hide them just before he held them gently in his hands.

“I’m sorry.”, he whispered again as he kissed her trembling hands.

“It’s me who have to be sorry,”, she wavered, “I’m such a filthy pathetic creature.”

Sehun halted before he hugged her tightly in his arms. He tried to soothe her by rubbing her back up and down gently. She was quivering in his arms. He rested his head on hers as he spoke, “I don’t give a to any of it as long as you’re here with me.”, she burst in his arms before he tightened them around her and kissed the top of her head.

//

Yujin could feel his stiff arm under her head and his jacket covering part of her body when she was opening her eyes to find him was already awake.

“Morning...”, he smiled at her.

She smiled back, “How’s your sleep?”, she mumbled.

“Couldn’t be better.”

She snickered, “You’re such a bad liar, look at your tired eyes.”, she pecked his cheek before she got up to find the sun was rising in front of them, “Wow! How beautiful-“, she stopped midway and turned at him, “Did you bring me here for this Sehun?”

He rolled his eyes before she punched him gently on the arm. He rounded his arm behind her shoulder as they watched the sun rose.

“Let’s have an early breakfast, you must be starving by now.”

She nodded before he briefly kissed her lips.

They stood to dust off their clothes..

“I feel like a scout girl to sleep outside like this.”, she laughed.

“You’re my scout girl then.”, he .

She laughed even harder when he hugged her and buried her laughter in his chest. She looked up, “I’m okay with that.”

He smiled before leading her to his bike. They got on the bike swiftly, now with her holding on to his waist. He put on his helmet before they darted away. The morning wind was brushing the side of her face as they went by, she smiled when he pulled her hand to his chest. She could feel his heart beating under her hand.