“Really, Jiyong? Could you stop doing that? Spend your money paying someone to find her for you? It is five years already yet you can’t move on from that girl, seriously? You don’t even know her well for God’s sake. She is just a stranger you accidentally ed when you were drunk. Just move on and go find someone else who worth it.” I sigh by hearing the words my best friend Dara throws me after she caught me again giving order to one of my men with the very same order; find the girl, the girl as Dara called a stranger who I accidentally slept with 5 years ago.

Call me crazy for being a lunatic obsessed over that girl, I don’t give a damn about that because yes I am crazy over her, I am obsessed to have her. To be honest, she is not a stranger at all; I know her name, Park Bom, it was so hard to have her name, thanks to my man. Our first meeting perhaps wasn’t a normal one. It was 5 years ago the beginning of all this crazy things happened. I was in a deep pain of brokenhearted after my girlfriend decided to break with me, making me so depressed and frustrated it led me to the decision I had to shove it off from my head. I thought perhaps a few shots of drinks would help me I found myself already in the club that was when I saw her. The beautiful young girl with the most perfect body and angelic face I’ve ever seen, sitting enjoying her drinks, but one thing I noticed about her, she was crying. It was when one drunken man approached her and tried to get under her , I collected all my nerves to go to her. She was too drunk and too sad she didn’t care at all I told the man that she was mine. Feeling it wasn’t the right place for her, I brought her to my car. She was also in the same state like I was I can tell by the way she cried and called a name, her boyfriend name perhaps, him with all he had done, but it somehow made my heart felt uneasy. She suddenly kissed me, and perhaps because we were on the same boat for being left by our lovers, I responded her kiss. It was getting hot and deeper until I decided to drive my car to my apartment. We did the deed in my apartment, to my surprise, she was a , and it ended up making her regretted all things happened when the morning came. She left my apartment before hearing my explanation and worse, I didn’t know her name yet.

Second meeting with her, it was God loved me so much I met the girl on the same day she left my apartment. I saw her in the drugstore near my office. I decide to approach her, thankfully she wanted to talk with me after I insisted. She told she was drunk, of course what kind of girl who gives her ity to someone she doesn’t know? I felt guilty of course, even until now the guilty feeling still lingered inside me.

Third meeting wasn’t a coincidence at all, I asked my man to find her, she lived in the apartment near her campus. I visited her the next week after the second meeting because I didn’t know why all I was thinking about every day was her. I even forgot about my broke up with my ex-girlfriend. She was surprised to see me in front of her door that morning. I asked her to have breakfast together, she rejected me first. She lied she had a class to attend. Of course I had already prepared to that kind of case. Before I came I already knew her schedule that day. When I told her she had no choice but agree with me, and so then we had breakfast together.

So it continued like that, we met every weekend only to have breakfast or lunch or dinner together, in didn’t care back then, because all I needed was to see her. And so does now, all I need is to see her, and have her, damn it. I swore that was the worst day in my life, the fourth weekend I supposed to have with her was never happened. She wasn’t there when I visited her apartment, when I looked for her in her campus, she left. Just like that’s she is gone.

From that day, I have tried my best to find her. I search for her in every corner of South Korea but she is not here to be found. She really is gone. And so that’s the reason my life is a total mess. My life is ruined just because of her. But I don’t blame her, because somehow she makes me feel alive. I know and I believe I love her so much. If it was not, I wouldn’t ask people to find her, I wouldn’t wait for her, I wouldn’t be ing single for these past five years.

“Jiyong! Do you even hear my words?” I snap out from the thought of Bom after hearing Dara’s high pitch of voice. Well, Dara, she is the one who dare to scream to me like that despite of the fact that I am her boss in office, it is kind of insult to me but then she is also my best friend. She is the one who encourage me in work, she is my supporter, cheerleader, advisor, well everything the great best friend should be. She is the one who always telling me all the truth and good things to do, well perhaps telling me to stop searching for Bom is the only exception.

“Of course I do.” I say to her as I give her the smile I usually throw her whenever I feel her mood is going to change into the bad one. Too late, her face is now red by anger. I curse myself inside as I wait for her to beat all the s out of me.

“Don’t give me that ing smile Kwon Jiyong! That is not going to work! I’m tired doing this thing, mind your ing stupidity every day. Why don’t you change for good? For the sake of yourself? There are too many good women out there waiting for you to at least take a glance on them but here you are like a pathetic lunatic craving over an unknown who is now nowhere to be found! I’m tired of you! You abandon your work, yes you are the CEO and you own this company, but if you keep doing this you will ruin this company and everyone’s life!” Dara’s words are somehow true, I shouldn’t do this to my life, my company, but then calling Bom an unknown is too much. I feel my blood rushes, anger boiled inside my head.

“Then I guess it’s the time you stop taking care of me with my stupidity and my life. For ’s sake you’re not my ing mother or nanny so from now on mind your own business! Don’t think too much about this company as I run this company well until now as you can see. And please considering you’re my best friend, stop calling the woman I love with the dirty names you give her because it is kind of irritates me.” That’s the ing long sentence in one breath with the sarcastic and cold tones I’ve ever give to someone, especially she is my so called best friend. I immediately take another deep breath only to realize I am being so stupid to talk to her like that. I notice the face of her, she is nearly crying. Damn I shouldn’t do that at the very first place.

“Dara, I’m..” I find my voice cracked losing all my words.