Chanwoo closed the side door of the theatre he was about to enter and rushed to her side with a plastic bag in his hand. She saw the milk bottles in the bag, registering that Chanwoo was running errands. But she didn’t spare time to address the chores Chanwoo was doing as she threw her arms around Chanwoo, squeezing him.

Nothing was going her plan, but it was okay, because her best friend was in her arms now and they weren’t fighting. Sure, he wasn’t crying for her forgiveness and she wasn’t cursing at him as she had planned, but this much was enough for her – the short moment of joy that they had both missed so much while they were separated.

Chanwoo placed his hand on her back for a brief moment, enjoying the hug, but pulled back when he remembered that he was actually hugging the real-life version of the girl and that wasn’t just part of his imagination.

“Yah!” he whispered, pouting at her. “Why are you here again…? Are you trying to get me in trouble?”

Haesoo shooked her head fervently. “No, no. This time, it’s not illegal. She showed him the sticker on her belly: “Kim Haesoo, 1998”. I got in because of the audition.”

Chanwoo’s eyes rounded. “Are you serious!? You’re auditioning?!”

He shook her by her shoulders, hoping for an answer quickly. The girl burst out laughing.

She shook her head, slapping her thighs. “Are you crazy? I’m talentless.”

He clucked his tongue at her. “Buuuull. You are far from talentless, liar.”

“I’m not auditioning for real, loser. I’m just here to see you,” she smiled, poking him.

For a moment, Chanwoo almost looked disappointed. “Ah… Right.. Well, Haesoo… About last Friday, I crossed the line. I’m sorry. I was really, really horrible. I did try to call you on Sunday but my phone started screwing up and now it’s at the shop getting fixed. But I’m still… sorry... Really.”

It then made sense why Chanwoo was so heartless with their first fight; why he hadn’t so much as messaged – he didn’t even have a phone.

She’d almost thought he had completely changed after getting closer to his idol dream, that the special Mix&Match program had completely stolen her best friend from her and changed him into an arrogant, cold bastard, much like Jisoo, the species she feared most. A small part of her kept telling her there was a new Chanwoo and this new version of him was responsible for ignoring all her calls like he didn’t want anymore of her in his life.

But she knew now that it was all a misunderstanding, and she never felt more relieved.

“Nah…” Haesoo shook her head, now knowing the truth. “I’m actually more sorry for not thinking about you getting into trouble if we got caught. I put your dream at stake because I was so rash when I saw the back door open like that and… and… I happened to dress like a crew member. I just thought, really thought it was such an ingenious idea… that I forgot… the implications on you.”

Chanwoo shook his head, opening his arms for a hug.

Haesoo laughed, entering his embrace. “We’re both .”

They shared a hug for a few minutes before finally pulling away.

“Hey… the audition is almost over. Aren’t you going to try at least?” Chanwoo raised an eyebrow.

The girl could not miss the hopeful look on his face. She knew this face very well. Chanwoo wanted her to audition for real; he wanted her unprepared self to present something in front of the big crowd in the theatre that consisted of, not only hundreds of audition candidates and famous Korean stars, but also GD, her ultimate fave.

…

Is he even sane?

“Look, even if I did try, I don’t have any of that kind of talent. Do you expect me to showcase my bird whistling hidden talent or something? I can’t even play basketball on that stage.”

Chanwoo didn’t give up.

He knew it was a stupid question, but he tried. “Haesoo, you do have musical talents. You know you do. Don’t you have any routines you think you can cook up?”

Haesoo shot him a look, making him raise his arms in defense. Haesoo quitted ballet for a reason.

“Okay, okay,” he nodded. “Why not act?”

“I only know your – what – two lines from The Heirs? You weren’t even a girl. I can’t do anything with that scene, OR the one from your other dramas when you were still a kid.”

Chanwoo nodded, knowing that it was true.

“Ah! Ah!” he clapped, then pointed at her. “What about sing? You know! You used to sing that song Baby, Baby a lot when we were younger. You remember? You kind of rocked that song. You sort of do got the voice!”

“Chanwoo-ya… Why do you want me to audition so much?” she eyed him. “Can’t you just be the idol and I’ll be the normal high school student? I think that’s cool enough to brag about.”

Chanwoo poked her forehead. “Is that all you think of? Bragging?”

Haesoo shrugged.

Chanwoo continued. “I’m just… really, absolutely happy you’re here in front of me. I missed you a lot. This past week, I realised I really do need you in my life. No calls, no text. I couldn’t even meet you. Then this audition! I didn’t think of it before but, it’s a really good opportunity! If you can just pass this and be a trainee, we can meet every single day.”

She clucked her tongue. “So I just give up school and spend years in YG training to be an idol? What do I do when you debut and I have no proper education to resume my normal life? Chanwoo, being an idol is your dream, not mine.”

Chanwoo shook his head. “You and I know you are a performer no matter what you say. Haesoo… It’s time you face the truth. Music was your heart and soul and it was all you wanted to do. Haesoo, you get lost in music. I know that dream is still real. I wanted to talk to you about it but I never found the right moment to do so. It that I have to bring this up like this, but you had a dream.”

Chanwoo was right. There was a dream that Haesoo once had. The dream that was never silent. There was always music. Haesoo once lived and breathed music like it was her source of life. It wasn’t Big Bang or mainstream pop back then. It was music that Haesoo danced to and music that she made and dedicated her days to. Her dream was, once, more intense than Chanwoo’s, like her life depended on it, like there was nothing she would rather do, before she decided to erase it from her life at the age of 13, for reasons – reasons that she didn’t bring up anymore.

And that was the precise problem.

Music was no longer Haesoo’s thing.

Yet Chanwoo’s face threw her in an unavoidable dilemma, because it didn’t seem like a bad idea when he said it. It was just bad when she thought of actually listening to him. But her best friend was her best friend and convincing her was part of his many expertise.

Haesoo rolled her eyes, the smile on her lips hiding the huge conflict she was having within her. Deep inside, there was the fear and anxiety she used to once feel whenever she heard a piano key or the sweet vibration of a violin. The feelings had long been supressed but being faced by a situation like such brought out all those emotions relentlessly again.

She found herself sighing, taking in his words. “You’re such a charmer. You want me in YG that bad, huh?”

Haesoo effortlessly masked the unsettling feeling brewing within her.

He nodded, a hopeful smile on his face. This smile was Haesoo’s weakness. It was Chanwoo’s ultimate weapon in getting Haesoo to agree with him.

She found herself grunting and he knew he had succeeded.

“You , Channie,” the girl stuck out her tongue at her.

He smiled, satisfied. The precious smile of his was the gift for every sacrifice Haesoo made. When he was this happy, she was too.

“You gotta do your best out there, okay? Remember when we used to sing it together. Do it again. And you… you don’t show it but you’re actually good at it. So this is going to be a breeze. Enjoy yourself. Hwaiting!”

Chanwoo cheered her on with his fist as he took steps back to the side door of the theatre. He gave her a last fist cheer before disappearing through the door.

Haesoo took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

“For Jung Chanwoo!” she cheered under her breath.

*******

Haesoo sat at the seats next to the stage with a few others. She was one of the last ones to go, and there were 3 people before her turn, and 2 more behind her. In all honesty, Haesoo was scared less.

She was actually naturally a confident girl and got around well with most people. Everyone in school was either her friend or a friend of her friend. Some way or another, the name Kim Haesoo wasn’t foreign to people because that’s just how well the girl got along with people.

But to perform a song she hadn’t sung in years in front of hundreds of people and with a success rate that should be high enough since it determined the future of her friendship with Chanwoo? This was tough AS HELL.

This ignored the fact that if she did succeed in getting through the auditions and made it as a trainee, her life would change. She wasn’t going to have time to play as much basketball with Jisoo. She was also going to leave the comfort of her room to live in dorms with strangers, away from her mother and guardian. Things weren’t as simple as Chanwoo had put it. This was a whole new battle for her.

The rational part of Haesoo wanted to run out in fear but the annoying smiley boy from the crowd easily stopped her with his fist cheer and him mouthing “hwaiting”. This went on for a while and Haesoo finally gave up on any remaining thought of chickening out. Chanwoo convinced her way too easily. There was no refusing with him, unlike when it was with everyone else. Haesoo knew, at the end of the day, she was going to get up on stage whether she did willingly or simply because Chanwoo wanted it.

When the next girl went up on stage, Haesoo shifted to the chair on her left once it was emptied. She then turned to the girl next to her.

“Excuse me. How does this thing work? You go up on your turn and perform… Then, you head over to the seats once you’re done. And then… go home?”

The girl rolled her eyes. Rude.

“You come all the way here and you don’t know how the audition works? Does it hurt to do a quick research?” she snapped.

Haesoo scoffed. “If you don’t know, you can just say so.”

Haesoo shot her another look and rolled her eyes away from the girl who continued to engross herself with lyric sheet in her hands.

Finally, it was almost Haesoo’s turn. The rude girl she was talking to confidently sauntered onto stage, flipping her hair as she did so. Haesoo rolled her eyes.

But Haesoo’s judgmental thoughts didn’t last. The moment the rude girl set her hands on the microphone, she threw her voice in a high note. A wave of whispers could be heard as people were in awe of the talented girl on stage. Yang Hyunsuk, right in the front, where the table was, smiled and nodded at her. He seemed so happy to see such a talent, totally forgetting how she had literally strutted awkwardly onto the stage. Her confidence was unbelievable to Haesoo, but Yang Hyunsuk was completely charmed by it.

As the girl did her introductions, it began to dawn on Haesoo how this might just not be for her. She wasn’t like that girl. She didn’t have a powerful voice and she wasn’t confident or charming. She couldn’t leave Yang Hyunsuk smitten like that and going right after the girl was just going to make her look like a total loser.

As she began panicking, looking around for an escape, she set her eyes on Chanwoo who nodded at her, giving her another fist cheer.

On Chanwoo’s side, Hanbin gave him an odd look, wondering what the new maknae had been doing the past half an hour, randomly saying “hwaiting” to himself.

Hanbin traced the kid’s line of sight to a girl seated at the candidates’ seating area across the theatre; the only girl who was looking their way. He raised an eyebrow. Did Chanwoo know the girl?

Just then, Hanbin felt a nudge on his arm. Bobby was giggling uncontrollably on his right side.

“H-hyung, kekekeke,” Bobby pointed to the candidates’ seating area. “Look at that girl. She’s been slapping herself the past half an hour since she entered.”

Hanbin turned to look at the girl Chanwoo had been staring at again. Indeed, she was slapping herself and mumbling with her fist. She slapped herself again when the fearful expression made its way to her face, trying to get rid of it. But he barely laughed, contrary to Bobby who was slapping his thighs, laughing it off with Junhoe.

Meanwhile, Haesoo slapped herself once more.

“Yah, you seriously gotta stop. Oh, God. She’s good but you’re fine. You can do this. Come on, chill out,” she scolded herself.

The girl to her right looked at her oddly but decided she understood the nervousness Haesoo was going through. Soon, the dreaded moment came and the rude girl finished her performance with a BAMMMMM. People were applauding her, something that they weren’t doing the past few performances.

The rude girl was just a huge wall for Haesoo. First, she completely dissed Haesoo. And now, almost as though she was doing it deliberately, she set the bar so high for the worried girl.

But there was nothing to be done. There wasn’t much stalling Haesoo could do, merely subjecting herself to her fate. Taking slow steps, Haesoo went up the stage and stood right in the middle. When she looked up, the spotlight shining on her briefly blinded her and she raised her arm to cover her eye.

Once she got used to the light, she studied the theatre. There were hundreds of heads and times two of that of eyes, and all were focused on her. She saw Chanwoo give her another fist cheer and the members of iKON looking at her with serious expressions.

But the scariest look she was getting had to be Yang Hyunsuk. There was that smile-smirk he always had on his face that she saw a lot on K-POP STAR, and this time, it was focused on her. Haesoo blinked in fear and her lips nervously.

“Hello. What’s your name?” he asked through the mic.