The passing days had become something of torture. Night’s were spent in the hospital, Minseok always accompanying Luhan, promising to never leave his side, especially during times like this. It was heartbreaking to see the usually bubbly Luhan fall apart, and it only got worse when Yixing began to ignore everyone and everything. Minseok didn’t know Sehun well but it still hurt, of course it did. He would watch Sehun’s friends and his family visit, all silent and teary eyed. You really didn’t know how much you meant to someone until you were on the blink of death. It was upsetting.

Minseok bit his lip in thought as he watched Luhan for the millionth time to try and get Yixing’s attention. He had tried not to think about his family problems during Sehun’s state as he thought it could be rude but being in the same hospital as his mother almost every day wouldn’t stop his worried mind. He was running out of time and now that he had stopped working at the club there was no way of getting money. Visiting his mum’s room only made him realise how sick she was getting. Minseok ran his fingers through his hair. He needed the money for the treatment by the end of the month or she wouldn’t make it.

“What the hell! What is this!?”

Minseok jumped out of his thoughts at Luhan’s yell, and with a quick glance into Yixing’s bag he didn’t have to ask what the boy was enraged about.

“Look at this!” Luhan tipped the backpack upside down, bags of various pills and already rolled joints of falling to the ground, “What the hell!” Luhan repeated before turning his gaze to Minseok, “Oh, you don’t look surprised.”

Minseok groaned, “Luhan...”

“Since when has he been taking all of this stuff?”

Minseok kneeled down and began collecting the drugs from the floor, “Since this first started,” He placed the bags back into the backpack, “It helps him –“ He noticed the disapproving look from Luhan and added, “it helps him in a way...” He stood and took Luhan’s hand in his, “Look, even I would take this kind of stuff now and then, to help forget.” He rubbed his thumb slowly across the boys wrist, “and Yixing-ah needs anything more than to forget – you never saw how wrecked he was after... god, he looked so tiny, so vulnerable.”

"You...?" Luhan closed his eyes, “I don’t even want to imagine it,” He opened his eyes and looked at Yixing who now had his head resting against the wall, his eyes open but distant, “Everything will get better...” Luhan mumbled more to himself.

Minseok swallowed and nodded, really hoping it would. He also looked at Yixing, a memory coming back to him of a particular night on his apartment’s rooftop, him being twenty at the time, Yixing being nineteen. It had been a night after a hard evening at the club. It was a memory Minseok wouldn’t forget because it was the first time he had seen Yixing smile, a real smile.

***

Minseok shifted, turning his eyes from the sky and towards Yixing. He could see the stars shining in the youngers eyes as the high began to indulge his body, the way his shoulders visibly loosened and his body relaxed. Minseok watched Yixing take another long puff from the joint between his index finger and his thumb before he broke the comforting silence, “Yixing-ah... what do you want to do when you get out of here?”

Yixing inhaled, waiting a few beats before he exhaled, the smoke slowly leaving his mouth and disappearing into the cool night air. “I want to write music; play music – like what I do in my spare time – but I want to sell it... I want to play for people... I want to dance for people,”

Minseok lips turned into a small smile, “Like an idol?”

Yixing nodded, “Like an idol.” Minseok then accepted the joint being passed to him, breathing in the smoky taste of the drug. “I want to... I want to see my parents.” Minseok choked mid exhale, waving the smoke out of his face.

“But they... I mean what they did to you, how could you want –“

“I know,” Yixing interrupted. He fumbled with the hem of his sweater, “I know...” The older watched him breath in a shaky breath before releasing it with a sigh, “I still think there must be a reason as to why –“

“Yixing –“

“No I do, I won’t give up on them.” He frowned, “Even when I get angry at them or... or feel I should stop believing, I won’t.”

Minseok sighed and placed the joint to his lips again, this time not choking. Ever since Yixing had opened up about what his parents had done, how they had just left him alone in the city, a boy of fifteen. It had infuriated him. And yet this boy still wouldn’t give up, annoying as it was Minseok was quite impressed with his insistence.

“And I want to see my friends.”

Yixing broke his thoughts and when Minseok looked to him, the smoke wasn’t caused for his choking this time. Yixing was smiling and it was beautiful. That’s when he remembered Yixing telling him that smiling was something rare for him but it being rare was just what made it perfect now, he was happy. “They must be good friends.”

Yixing hummed in agreement, “They are.”

“Then I’d like to give them the biggest hug for bringing that smile to your face.” This only made Yixing’s smile widen, the indent on his right cheek deepening.

“You have made me smile,”

Minseok made an ‘ahhh’ sound, shaking his head disapprovingly, “When? I’ve never seen you smile like that.”

Yixing began to laugh and again, it was beautiful. “I just don’t let you see.”

Minseok passed the joint back to the laughing boy and lay down on the cold cement, “Let me see it more okay.”

***

Luhan gave a small smile and pulled his hand from Minseok’s as he tried to get Yixing’s attention again by waving his hand in front of his face, only to receive a hum. “What else is there that I don’t know about?”

“Yixing was – is my best friend but now I know hardly anything about him...” Luhan breathed out through his nose when Yixing wouldn’t acknowledge his attention, instead he grabbed his wrists and began waving his arms around; earning a raised eyebrow from Minseok.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to snap him out of it,” Luhan began repeating Yixing’s name, over and over until he felt Minseok reach from behind his back, placing his hands over Luhan’s.

“It won’t help, not when he is like this,” He gently unclasped Luhan’s hands from Yixing’s wrists, pulling them away, “It will be temporal, you just have to –“ Minseok was cut off by Luhan pulling his hands harshly from him. “What are you...” Confusion was replaced with realisation when Luhan tugged at Yixing’s left sleeve, revealing small swollen cuts down his arm. Minseok frowned; Yixing had never cut his arms.

“You knew about this didn’t you?” Minseok still staring at his arm startled when Luhan pushed at his shoulders, “Listen to me! W-why don’t you tell me... why didn’t Yixing tell me!” Minseok reached out to Luhan only to be pushed away again.

“Luhan... I know what you must feel now –“

“Like hell you do!” Tears began to stream down Luhan’s face, making him look younger than he was, “Both of my f-friends... Yixing isn’t eating, isn’t sleeping and what.. now I find out he is harming himself... and.. and Sehun,” He walked over to where Sehun was laying, the beeping of the machines becoming louder, “Sehun could die.” Minseok and Luhan both jumped when Yixing shot up from his seat and rounded on Luhan, his finger pointed at him.

“Don’t you dare say he will die! Don’t you dare! D-Don’t you...” Yixing paused, wavering side to side as he tried to control his breathing.

“Yixing...”

“Don’t you dare!” He pushed past Minseok and leaned his hands against the bedside table.

“Yixing, you wouldn’t be feeling like this if you got some sleep...” Yixing seethed, a sudden anger raging though his body, he grabbed the nearby lamp, ripping it out from its plug and throwing it across the room, it hitting the wall with a loud thump and crash. Next he threw his hands on the desk, pushing everything off and to the ground.  Minseok and Luhan grabbed Yixing from behind before he had got to throw the chair, “Calm down, okay.” But then he was screaming, his shoes thrashing against the tiled floor as he tried to pull away.

“Let go of me! LET GO!”

“Yixing –“

“I don’t want to be anyone’s toy anymore! I d-don’t want... please don’t do this to me.” Shocked, at those words they immediately let go of Yixing; who fell to his knees and buried his head in his hands, loud cries filling the room, “I-I’ll do anyt-thing to make it stop... please make it stop.”

The last month had been hell but to Minseok, this was what tore him apart.

--

 Luhan ruffled his hair and padded out of the kitchen with a glass of water in his hand. He couldn’t sleep, especially after today. His eyebrows furrowed, remembering Yixing’s breakdown in the hospital room. The things he had found out; the cutting, the drugs... all of the fears that spilled from Yixing’s mouth. Luhan wouldn’t even be able to understand the trauma he must have gone through. Fortunately he was able to convince Yixing to come to his apartment, not without a few arguments.

With a quick glance of Yixing’s [hopefully] sleeping figure on the sofa he made his way back through the hall, passing his bedroom, he made his way to the spare room where Minseok would be. Minseok promised not to leave his side; he had been true to his words. Luhan took a sip from the water and placed it on the table before he quietly slipped under the covers, draping an arm over Minseok’s side who voluntarily turned his body towards him, snuggling closer to the smaller boy.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you today... I’m just worried –“

Luhan paused when Minseok’s finger was placed on his lips, “Don’t be, I understand.” He kissed Luhan’s forehead gently making him scrunch up his face and burry his head in Minseok’s chest. He chuckled and kissed the boys head this time earning a muffled laugh; exactly what he wanted to hear. “I will tell you everything about Yixing-ah.”

--

Yixing smiled politely to the nurse that passed him when entering Sehun’s room. He sighed, Sehun hadn’t moved; though what was he expecting. Yixing played with his too long sweater sleeves as he approached the bed. “I got sleep... well some and Jongin said your history lecturer is letting you take the exam again too... When she found out what had happened. So that’s good right, that means you can’t die.” Yixing bit his bottom lip. Nurses had told him that talking to Sehun would help with his progress but it had been six weeks now and Yixing was losing hope.

Yixing wrapped his arms around Sehun’s middle and rested his head against the youngers heart. He blinked a few times to stop the tears from falling. “My... my grandmother would say that my hugs could heal people.” He placed his hand in Sehun’s and squeezed it; he waited. “T-then why won’t it work” He didn’t stop the tears this time, allowing them to fall and soak into Sehun’s hospital clothes. Yixing cried harder when he felt the boys hand wrap around his, squeezing lightly.

It took him a moment to realise... Sehun just moved his hand.

Yixing looked to his face; although still seeming to be in a deep slumber. He looked to their clasped hands and a breathy laugh escaped his lips. The hope that had once faded re-sparked in his stomach. Maybe his grandmother was right.

--

A/N - Hello, I'm sorry if this isn't well written. I have been sick and feeling down lately but I wanted to still post something. ~ to subscribing, reading, commenting - thank you so much ~