It's October of his junior high school year that Jongup finds a new job at the local flower shop. He decides to keep his new job a secret from his parents and even his best friend. Previously, Jongup had worked at the small coffee shop by the school and it was a constant distraction because half the patrons went to his high school.

But a flower shop? It was rare to see classmates come by. Most of them were too busy with their studies to even consider dating so flowers were out of the question. That didn't stop some of his acquaintances from dropping by everyone once in a while to request a "congratulatory" or "get well" bouquet to be arranged.

He kept his job hushed, and his best friend wasn't all too happy when Jongup starts bailing on their weekend plans. Junhong's a year younger, so it's not like they had any classes together through out the day. They'd meet up in between classes and during their lunch breaks, and some days they'd hang out after school at each other's house.


It's early spring when Junhong finally gets fed up with Jongup's frequent disappearances.

"You're not seeing some girl behind my back are you?" They're sitting in Jongup's room with their homework splayed across the floor. Music to a low hum, and Junhong's tapping his pencil to the beat. He's irritated, and Jongup doesn't like seeing him anything but happy.

"Wha— no? What makes you say that?" Jongup raises both eyebrows in surprise.

"You've been bailing on our weekend plans. It's not like you're working at that coffee shop anymore, and we've barely hung out during winter break. What gives, man?" He looked hurt, like a kicked puppy, and Jongup just gapes at him.

"I've just been busy." Jongup picks up his chemistry textbook and places it on his lap. Flipping to a page unrelated to what they were doing in class, trying to look busy. He doesn't want to look at Junhong's face.

"Too busy for your best friend?" Junhong gives him a skeptical look, "You're not getting into some dangerous gang are you?"

Far from it. Jongup wants to say. "You're being paranoid, man. I'm just kinda freaking out about uni, that's all." It's not like he was lying, he did study during his slower shifts when he wasn't maintaining the store or arranging a piece for a customer. The owner did more of the arrangements anyways, he just simply helped clean and water the plants and would ring up orders whenever needed.

"That's what senior year is usually dedicated to. You've still got a few months."

"Easy for your freshman to say." Jongup huffs, tossing his textbook off his lap.

"C'mon hyung. I just wanna spend more time with you." He's pouting now, and Jongup hates that. You'd think puberty would get rid of Junhong's sad puppy pout, but no, he's tall and lanky and still awkwardly adorable. They've known each other since elementary school, and that pout hasn't changed since then.

"Alright, fine." Jongup rolls his eyes, "It's like you don't have any other friends." Which was almost true. Junhong was a pretty popular kid amongst his classmates, but he preferred to keep his circle of friends close. He felt like he didn't trust anyone he didn't really grow up with, but most of his closer friends were either seniors, or in university. So it was just usually the two of them.

"Does that mean you'll finally play—"

"I'm never playing League of Legends."


It's Friday after school when Junhong brings it up again after spending a few rounds shooting hoops in the school basketball court.

"So you really aren't lying about seeing some girl right?" They're sitting by the wall, rolling the ball back and forth between each other. The sun's already setting, and it's getting colder.

"I promise, man." Jongup laugh is hoarse, he wasn't sure if a few rounds on the court had made his throat scratchy or that he's lying straight through his teeth.

This was how they used to spend their Fridays during middle school. Playing basketball and then sitting down and sounding philosophical about everything. The year they had spent apart when Jongup became a high school freshman and Junhong was still in middle school was difficult. They've been inseparable since elementary school, but their relationship hadn't always been a smooth ride.

The transitioning year between elementary and middle school had almost torn their friendship apart. There was actually a girl involved that time, and Jongup had fallen head over heels with her. Yoonmi was pretty and smart, but she wasn't the nicest person at all. She was mean towards their classmates, and she hated Junhong with all her fury and neither boys knew why. She had spread malicious rumours about half grade and Junhong, and the poor kid wasn't even in middle school yet. Jongup didn't know what to do then, he was thirteen and naïve and first love come off strong. But Junhong was his best friend, and has been since they've first met, so he eventually broke up with her.

Of course, she backlashed at him hard with what she did best, spread rumours, and lie, but at that point, everyone knew she was practically the devil.

They tried not to make the same mistake the second time around. Opting to spend even more time with each other, and Jongup didn't think that was even possible. They spent every waking hour with each other, and often they'd stay at each other's houses overnight. Their parents didn't mind, they were practically brothers at this point.

They're in high school now and it'll be a short two years together before Jongup's off to university to join their other friends. But Jongup rarely stays in touch with the other guys in their group, and he's afraid that his and Junhong's relationship was going to strain again. He's afraid they won't have enough time for each other in the future, but the more time he spends with Junhong, the more he feels like he should be spending it away from the younger boy. It was a friendship he couldn't risk losing because he couldn't control his feelings.

He may have developed a crush on his best friend.

He may have promised to tell Junhong about whatever future crushes he had to avoid the whole Yoonmi Incident from happening ever again. He liked spending time with Junhong, he felt like he could talk to him about anything, except his feelings towards Junhong.

Jongup tried to spend less and less time with the other boy. Distancing himself further away, and hoping that it's another phase that'll pass. It's been four years since he's pondered on the fact that his feelings were more than platonic and two years since he's realized that he's dug himself a grave too deep.

"But... is there someone you like?"

You.

Jongup pauses a second too long before replying, "Nah."

"Liar." He's pouting again.

"It's getting cold, wanna head back and play some video games?" Jongup picks up his basketball and backpack, readying to leave.

"Don't change the subject!"

"I'll tell you one day, maybe when you're old enough." Jongup gives him a quick teasing wink. He doesn't want to have this conversation right now. Or ever.

"I'm not a child anymore." Sure as hell wasn't, not with puberty hitting the kid like a freight train. He's six feet of awkward now, and probably still growing.

Jongup rolls his eyes.


The next two days, he works his usual afternoon weekend shift before requesting for evening shifts from the owner. It'll only rouse suspicion from Junhong more if he continued to disappear during their weekend plans. He'll spend his afternoons with his friend and then go off and close the store in the evenings.

He's learnt a few things about arranging bouquets and had read up on the language of flowers during his spare time. It wasn't uncommon for him to come up with different flower combinations and writing them down on a notebook for future reference.

Pink and white camellias, and ferns.


It's Monday morning that Junhong finds a bouquet of pink and white camellias, and ferns wrapped in silver foil on his desk. His face inevitably flushes as pink as the the flowers as his classmates gape. There's a small card that reads:

To: Choi Junhong

I really like you. I wish I couldn't have given these to you myself.
Our relationship is perfect the way it is and I don't want to ruin it.

— J.

Jongup meets up with Junhong after school.

"For me? You shouldn't have." Jongup jokes, there's a bit of unease in his voice.

"Wha— no..." Junhong face is flushed red, "I found these on my desk this morning."

"Well aren't you lucky." Jongup swings an arm around the younger teen's back, giving him an affectionate pat and squeeze on his shoulder, "You should probably get these in water."

They head back to Junhong's place and found a makeshift vase that was too short for the stems.

"Do you have any shears? We'll have to recut the stems." Jongup says, filling the vase up with water from the kitchen sink. Junhong goes to retrieve a pair from the backyard.

"You know... flowers have different meanings." Jongup says absentmindedly, it was a habit when talking to customers. "Pink camellias represent longing, white camellias mean the person that sent these think you're adorable." Jongup grins, "Ferns generally mean they're fascinated with you. They're a nice touch than having just flowers."

"What a nerd," Junhong snorts, "You know this because...?"

Jongup trims a few inches off the stems. He pauses, glances at the other boy and purses his lips, debating whether or not he should tell him but his words are already escaping his mouth, "I work at Gardenia on the weekends."

"That's why you've been bail— wait. Then you know who sent these right?" Jongup thanks the heavens that the Junhong's more curious about the sender than rather the fact he's been lying to his best friend for the past five months.

"They said they wanted to stay anonymous." Jongup smiles and places the flowers into the vase, arranging them so they're scattered evenly in colour, "Client confidentiality." Jongup motions his fingers into a zipping motion of his lips.

"Is that even a thing for a flower shop?" Junhong is now sitting on one of the kitchen stools, swinging his legs back and forth, "I just feel bad that they're spending money on flowers and I don't know who they are."

"Maybe they don't want to make things awkward between you and them." Jongup shrugs, but it's better than admitting he's the one sending his best friend flowers.


It's two days later when Junhong gives him a pointed look during their lunch break. They're sitting across from each other in the school cafeteria.

"You." Junhong's got a serious expression on his face, and Jongup's got half his lunch in his mouth and responds with a raised eyebrow.

"You're the one behind the flowers."

Jongup chokes on his lunch, "Don't be silly—"

"Hyung." Junhong's voice is stern, and Jongup swears its dropped an octave or two.

"Dude, I'm not sure if you're aware but you're kind of a popular kid and you're bound to receive secret love letters and bouquets every once and awhile." Jongup tries to laugh it off, "Didn't you get a few letters during Valentine's day?"

"It's like you've said, you're practically my only close friend. I don't think I have many relationships to strain... and... and... who else in our group has a name starting with J?"

Jongup doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything. He could continue to lie to his best friend, he could continue to lie to himself.

"Hyung." There's that stern voice again, "This isn't some sort of prank you're trying to pull is it?"

"No." Jongup shakes his head, "I'm sorry. This was a mistake." Because how do you low-key tell your friend you like them and hope they acknowledge it and just move on. Junhong was never for confronting people for anything, but apparently he was adamant on figuring this whole thing out. Maybe they'll joke about it one day, nickname this the Camellia Crisis. Maybe their relationship will be okay enough for them to even talk about this, maybe they'll just move on.

But now? Jongup doesn't know what to say. He just mumbles a few more apologies before he picks up his belongings and leaves.


It's not until Friday evening that Junhong shows up on Jongup's front doorstep with a potted flower in his hands.

Purple Hyacinths; Please Forgive Me

"They're purple hyacinths." Junhong says, "Your coworker says they're nicknamed 'apology flowers'..."

"Yeah?"

"Part of me hoped you really were the one that sent the bouquet and I didn't just ruin our friendship by freaking out." Junhong's words are a bit stumbled, and he's flushed red, "I just... wasn't expecting you to... feel the same way..."
"What?"

"I..." He's thinking about it, "I like you, hyung."

Jongup feels like the air around them has become less dense. Part of him was relieved, but what now? Even if the feelings were mutual, what would happen if it didn't work out in the end? What if it just made things worse?

"You dweeb." Jongup chuckles, "I like you too."

"Oh? So there really wasn't a girl involved this time?"

Jongup just smiles. It's always been springtime when they're together. Friends fight and so do couples. There needs to be rain for things to grow, and they've been at the pinnacle of their relationship for years.