“Noona~~ make me a coffee pleaseeeeeeeeeeee /big grins/” Mingyu ask.

“Mingyu-ya, noona is working right now, I can’t leave my work.” With stern face I tried to resist his aegyo. Mingyu is a guy full of aegyo and if someone have a weak heart, they really should avoid this guy.

“Noona jeballll just one americano juseyoooo” he pouted. How dare he pouted in front of me!!

“Mingyu it’s not that”

“Mingyu-ya, let’s go. Seungcheol tell me to get you.” Joshua cuts my word before I can finish it and walk away.

“Seems like your hyungs has called for you and when Joshua is the one to call you better go.” I said to Mingyu. With a sigh he walk out from my room but stops halfway, “you better finish your work quickly and make me an americano afterwards okay? Bye noona~~!”

This is my 2^nd year of working in Pledis Entertainment as a Web Designer for Seventeen. I handle their fancafe and the design of all their online websites are done by me. I have been with the boys for 2 years, a year after their debut. It feels awkward and scary working for them actually at first since they are so famous since debut and handling their fancafe is not easy. Maintaining their websites is working smoothly with increasing number of members is just complicated at some times, especially during comeback season. Okay why am I briefing about my works. Now, let’s get back to the boys. All of them are so friendly, and full of manner. Including the hyung line which is the same age with me. Yes, I’m a 95-liner, older by 2 months from Seungcheol. I can’t forget their expression when we first met, all of them have different expressions on them and mostly are so hype up and welcome me with smiles on their face. Except one person.

 

Joshua. Hong. Ji. Soo.

My bias. For the first time that I saw them, I can’t take my eyes off him, and I definitely cannot control my expression /sings pyojeong gwanri/. Perfection. The other 12 boys are equally good looking but my eyes and my heart are fixed on him. It feels heaven seeing him. But the feelings was crushed when he just walk away without any expression from the boys after seeing me. I thought that he might just have some bad mood at the time, but it’s not. He will always avoid talking to me, and everything around us turns awkward when it’s just me and him together. It feels like Joshua hates me or something. He never smiles when we bump each other, and if I talk to him, he would just answer me with what’s needed and walk away. It’s been 2 years and things are still the same.  And I have gave up trying to smooth things out with him. Still, he is my number one bias. No one can ever change that.

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

9pm. Oh no! I was too absorbed in finishing my work that I’m already an hour late. I have to hurry and catch the bus to go home. In another 30 minutes the last bus will arrive. Packing my thing in rush so that I won’t miss the bus, I rush out of the room and wait for the lift outside. As the lift open, Joshua’s in there. He was wearing loose jeans, with jackets tighten on his waist, and a grey sweatshirt wrapping up his perfect body.  I stood there like an idiot for a few seconds before he then said “Aren’t you getting in? Or just stay here until tomorrow?”

I gather my sense back and get in the lift. The air feels hot for a sudden. And I feel hard to breathe being in the same place with him.

“Why are you late tonight?” he suddenly speak up.

“Umm, I just forget to keep on looking at the time.” with almost an unheard voice, I answered.

“It’s late already, and it’s dange—“ he couldn’t even finish his words when the lift stops.

“Ting! Ground floor.”

“Oh I better go now or I’ll missed my bus. Bye Josh see you tomorrow!” I said and rush out, but before I can even go outside the building, he called me.

“Hey _________ ! Wait up. I’ll send you home. It’s already late and dangerous.” He walks up to me while putting his jacket and mouth mask on.

I was not feeling too good with that idea so I try to stop him. “Hey Josh, you don’t have to. Well your fans might saw you and it might become chaotic. I’m fine by my own.”

“No. My fans won’t recognize me so don’t worry and start moving or you might walk back home.” He said and just start walking to the nearest bus stop. I follow him from behind and everything just become so quiet on our way there. As we reach the bus stop, a café near us play Adore U, and surprisingly Joshua starts singing to the song. He NEVER, ever sings in front of me like ever. Whenever he sang anything and he saw me, he’ll stop immediately. What happen to Joshua now?

“Hm, you rarely sing in front of me” I use the word rare since it feels like too cruel to use never.

“Really? Oh I didn’t realize that.” He said and he chuckles. JOSHUA CHUCKLES. HE SMILES. HE LAUGHS. IN FRONT OF ME. AM I DREAMING?

“Yes. You’d stop singing whenever I appears tho”.

“Hey the bus arrived” he said and hop in, paying the fare for two person.

The bus was almost empty, maybe because it’s already late and other people have gone home. He sat at the back and I follow, choosing to sit at the seat opposite of him.

“Just sit here, next to me. I don’t bite people, _______.” He said and pat the seat next to him.

I swear. Butterflies flew all over in my stomach when he said that. I sit next to him. I finally sit next to my bias. He is sending me home. It was unbelievable. I try really hard to control my expression and not showing how happy I am. It took 20 minutes to reach my neighbourhood and 5 minutes of walking to reach my house, so I have like 25  minutes to feel like this today. The day that holds the memory of me and Joshua. Might be the only nice memory tho.

 “Do you like it? Being in Pledis?” he starts the conversation.

“Of course I do. It’s my dream after all.” I said with a meaningful smile.

“Why? Is it because you are working with us? Or you have other things that you like?”

“Mostly because I’m a hardcore kpoppers before so being an employee in an entertainment company is literally all fangirls dream. No matter whether it’s their bias company or not.” I replied, telling him the true dreams of most fangirls out there.

“So are you still hardcore now? Who’s your bias?”

Gladly, I reply him. “Well you of course.” And oh. What did I do. Did I just reveal my most top secret? Oh gosh. What should I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But then, he laughs. I look at him. He really is laughing. His eyesmile, and his wrinkle at the end of the eye when he smile pops out. Since he’s wearing a mask, I can’t see his laugh but his eyes tells everything. This is the laughter that comes out everytime he’s with s. And now he’s laughing because of my confession?

“Why… Why are you laughing Josh?” I need to know why.

“You are so cute. I have been waiting for this time to come tho. I need to know who’s your bias, haha”

What the hell is this guy doing? Why does he wanna know who my bias is? He’s acting all weird right now.

The bus finally arrive my destination. I got down, and he follows me from behind.  I walk in front of him, literally thinking.

“Are you curious about something? You seems distracted.”

I turn around. “Of course I am. Why would you wanna know who my bias is? You have never talk to me before tho. For 2 years. That’s why I’m curious.” And I continue walking backwards, waiting for his answer.

“Before I answer please walk forward not backward.” He said with a serious voice.

“No you tell me the answer first.” And as I said that, I tripped on something. Before my head meet the ground, I feel an arm wrapped on my waist.

“Didn’t I tell you to walk forward?” he gets me to stand up straight before releasing me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m all fine. Thanks to you.” I let out a couple of awkward coughs before continue walking, forward.

“Well. About before, it’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, but it’s hard. Which part is hard? I don’t even know.” He stops talking for a while, seems like he’s hesitating. “ Seeing you and my members talking and playing happily, I want to be a part of that but doing that in front of my members will make me feel awkward. Would it be best to say that as shy? At first, watching you with my members are just fine. Heart calming when members and you have those happy moments together. But as times flew, it’s getting to be heart clenching. Especially when I saw how close and clingy Mingyu and Hoshi are towards you. That’s why I always appear when situation like this noon happens.” He explain all long, and fix his gaze on the ground while walking.

I was stunned. What does this all mean? This noon? The moment when Mingyu asks me for a coffee? Is he jealous or something?

“Josh I really don’t get it. Why? Are you jealous?” I stop and ask. We have already reach my house so I decide t0 wait and listen to him before we part ways.

It took him a while before he shift his gaze at me, I don’t know why I think that he has such a shiny eyes. “Yes. I am jealous. I don’t know since when. Maybe it’s since the first time you step into the company. I realize how you look at me, but I don’t wanna show it. Since that, I keep wanting to know will you look at me the same way like the first time, or you’ll look at other members like that since you are so close with them. I keep on looking at you secretly to know if you have that kind of sparkling eyes when you look at other members. And sometimes I think I do saw it when you were talking with Wonwoo and Jun. Or is it just my imagination? I don’t know.”

I was totally speechless. What is this thing I’m hearing? Have I gone mad or something? Before I could say anything, Josh continues to talk.

“I know you always go home exactly on time at 8pm. I will always be at the ground floor’s café to make sure that I see you go out on time. But tonight you were late, and I was so worried that I go up to check on you whether you have gone home early or not. You don’t know how relieved I am when I saw you in front of me. And I’ve decided to take this chance to spend time with you and tell you all of this.”

I played with my finger, as I was speechless and nothing that I could think to talk about. My hearts are fluttering. I wonder if he could hear my heart beating loudly that it might make me sick and heartache all of a sudden. I gather up my confidence and face him, eye to eye.

“Josh, you don’t know how all of this make me. All of this seems crazy. I thought you hate me all this while.” My eyes starts tearing.

“As of tonight, I’m confessing. Dear _______, I have never hates you and I will never. Will you accept my heart?” he said as he opens his mask and I can see his beautiful smiles all over his face, with hands open as if he’s asking for a hug.

“Are you crazy? Of course I will!” I said and I hugged him directly. “I really love you _______ !!!!!!!!” He  said and he spins me all around but then his phone rings. Of course, it must be his manager since it’s late and he’s still here with me. He let me go and check out his phone.

“Oh it’s Seungcheol”, he answer the calls and turn it on to speaker.

“Yaaaaa Jisoo where are you!!!!!” Seungcheol’s voice echoed through the speaker.

“Hey I’m outside. Be back a few minutes. Just sent _______ home safely.” Josh said and grinned at me.

Suddenly my phone rings, a call from Mingyu. I answer and put it on speaker too.

“Nae Mingyu-yaa wae?”

“Noona, could you tell Joshua hyung to return now? We are tired waiting in the car, kekekekekeke” Mingyu said and I heard more people are laughing at the back.

“Yaaaa Kim Mingyu Choi Seungcheol! You guys are here right? Where are you are you guys following me?” Joshua said half screaming. He cut Seungcheol’s call and starts looking around for Seventeen.

“Noona. Look left.” Mingyu said afterwards.

Both of us look way left and we saw it. Seventeen’s van is right in front of us. Clearly they saw what happens just now. Mingyu, Seungcheol and Jeonghan pops their heads out from the window and grinning foolishly towards us.

“Jisoo-ya, now that you have let it all out let’s go home before it’s too late. ______ needs to rest after a shock.” Said Jeonghan as he laughs and goes back in the car.

“Noona don’t be late to work tomorrow okay? I’ll wait for your americano!” Mingyu ends with a wink before laughing and going back inside after he met Joshua’s eyes. “Mian hyung! Noona naekko!”

“Aish that kid. How can you stand his aegyo?” Joshua asked while looking at me and all I can do is just >______________<

“Seems like I have to go now, Cheol is still popping his head out. I see you tomorrow okay?” he give me a peck on the lips before he runs towards their van and get smacked in the head by Seungcheol. And I can totally hear those guys wooing him.

I’m so done tomorrow.

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