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Chapter Twenty

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One, Two, my heart
Three, Four, my breath
Five, Six, my entire body walks
Only seeing you

 

One, Two, even now
Three, Four, even today
Five, Six, even tomorrow
Walk towards me.

 

 

—Girls’ Generation-TTS, “Baby Steps”

 

 

T

 

he flea market was quite busy that day.  People crowded the rows of vendors in such a way that reminded Taehyun of the busy rural streets back in Seoul and Beth of those same streets, although she had only seen them in k-dramas and not in real life.  Taehyun had never been fond of such congested places--they made him feel claustrophobic and agitated--but his nerves were appeased by the simple reminder of Beth’s hand in his.  Besides, she seemed to be enjoying herself immensely, and that also placated him. 

            Beth smiled and nodded at all of the salespeople, and marveled at their wares.  There were scarves and hats, jewelry, books, artworks, toys, collectables, and so much more.  She bought a black and yellow beanie emblazoned with the Hufflepuff crest, after explaining the concept of the Hogwarts Houses to Taehyun and immediately ascertaining that he was, undoubtedly, a Slytherin.  She then proceeded to scold him for never having read the Harry Potter series, and that he was missing out on the greatest works of literature that would ever exist in their generation.

            She pestered him about it until he finally promised that he would read the books over the summer.

            “Are you hungry?” Taehyun asked her, when the time was nearing noon. 

            Beth raised an eyebrow at him.  “...Are you?”

            “I asked you first.”

            She laughed.  “I am.  We should go to the food court, then.”  She sat down the funny little statue that she had been examining before taking Taehyun’s hand again and leading him to where all the food vendors were.

            Choosing what to eat was incredibly difficult.  It seemed that there was every type of food imaginable.  There were hamburgers, fries, cheesesteaks, hot dogs, fish chips, sub sandwiches, pasta, pizza, even poutine and various Asian foods, and desserts of every kind.

            They ended up splitting an enormous cheeseburger, an order of garlic fries, and a vanilla milkshake.  Taehyun insisted that he pay for the meal, per the ‘conventional rules of dating.’  Beth just smiled and let him do his thing.  She could tell that he was still stuck in an awkward zone of not fully realizing just yet that he was a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend--there was no reason to make him feel any more embarrassed.  Besides, she found his little efforts to be heartwarmingly endearing.

            “My aunt is vegan.”  said Beth, after taking a bite of her burger, “And not because she loves animals.”

            “Poor, unfortunate soul.”  Taehyun said.

            Beth reached out her hand and placed it on top of his, resting on the table.  His skin was cool and clammy.

            “...What do you want to do after lunch?” he asked.

            Beth shrugged.  “I dunno.  We could do anything... how could I possibly choose?”  She smiled when Taehyun made no response.  “...Ferris wheel.  Let’s ride the ferris wheel.”

            “Okay.”

            After they finished eating, Taehyun bought them each a ticket to ride the ferris wheel and Beth simultaneously had an embarrassing moment of realization.

            She was afraid of heights.

            Why couldn’t God give her a cool phobia, like mirrors or ringing phones or artificial lights?  But no--here she was with a boring, ordinary, ridiculous fear of something that was her own idea to begin with.

            She sighed.

            “Everything okay?”  Taehyun asked.

            “Of course.”  she said with a smile.

            “If you aren’t feeling well, let me know.  I wouldn’t want you to be out and about if you’re feeling like .”

            “And ruin our fun?  No way.”

            He eyed her.

            “I’m joking.  I’m fine.  Really.”

            He let her into the wheel car first; she almost stumbled.  Her legs felt like jelly already.  She could hear Rap Monster’s voice in her head.

            Hey Beth.

            What?

            You got no jams.

            Taehyun got in and sat down.  It was a cozy fit and their thighs touched.  Beth found that a little comforting.

            It seemed like forever before the wheel started moving.  When the car jerked forward, Beth subconsciously put her hand on Taehyun’s leg.  He didn’t say or do anything, but he watched her surreptitiously.

            The wheel paused at intervals to allow time for those towards the top to take photos of the view of the city and river from up there.  Beth really was not looking forward to the moment that she and Taehyun’s car would pause way up there.

            He leaned towards her. “You’re afraid of heights, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

            “No!” she said immediately. “...Yes.”

            “Then why did you want to ride the ferris wheel?”

            “I couldn’t tell you, to be perfectly honest.”

            He laughed.  Taehyun actually laughed.

            Beth was annoyed.

            “You’re very strange.” he said.

            “A reproach, coming from you.” she quipped, and he laughed again. “Shouldn’t you be a bit more understanding of my situation?” He was still smiling, but he held out his hand for her.

            “If it helps.”  he said, his tone unusually gentle.  It took Beth a moment to realize that he was offering his hand for her to hold.  She took it gratefully, feeling a great deal safer but not much less frightened.

            “It’s okay.” he said, leaning closer to her.  “I’m afraid of the dark.”

            Beth gawked at him, disbelieving that he could still joke around when he could see that she was sincerely scared. “You are not.”

            “I am,” he continued with a nod, “I sleep with a night light--just ask Tao.”

            Was he being serious? She didn’t know, and she didn’t have time to think about it.  Their wheel car had reached its apex and had come to a halt.  Beth could feel her hands shaking.

            “Hey. Beth.” said Taehyun, snapping her from her moment of panic. “Look at me.”  She tore her eyes away from the dizzying scene below and looked at him instead.  There was genuine concern in his expression.  “Are you okay?”

            If this was a k-drama, it would’ve been the perfect moment for the two of them to have their first kiss.

            But this isn’t a k-drama.

            “If I say no, what are you going to do about it?”

            He was silent, and she smiled so the moment wouldn’t get awkward.  “Let’s take a selca, while we’re up here.”  she said.  She took her phone out of her purse and tried to keep her hands still as they took a selca. Taehyun ended up taking the phone from her and holding it up; his arms were longer, anyway.  It was a cute photo, with him squinting in the sunlight and her double peace signs.

            “Aish.” said Taehyun when he saw the photo. “Don’t put that on Instagram.  Or anywhere else.”

            “But I like it!”

            “I don’t.”

            She just smiled at it. “Very well.  I will keep it all to myself.”

            “Good.”  he said.  The ferris wheel had begun to turn again.

            “Are you having fun?” Taehyun asked her.  She looked him straight in the face, which made him more than a little nervous.

            “Yes.  Very much.” she said.

            “Good.”  he said.

            “Are you having fun?”  Beth asked him.

            He smirked a little, and nodded.  “Yes.  As much as I can.”

            “Good.”  she said, and she settled into her seat, pleased.

            The two were quiet for the remainder of the ride.

            Taehyun held onto her hand as Beth up after the ride--she was rather eager to get out.

            “Watch your step.” he said.  She stepped out and felt a wave of relief come over her that both of her feet were on solid ground again.

            She heard Taehyun laugh slightly behind her.

            “Are you making fun of me?” she asked, turning on him.  His raw, honest smile quickly vanished, but she had caught it for a split second before.  She smiled back at him and he looked away from her direct stare. “...Ha ha! You’re so cute!”

            “Stop it.”  he said, rolling his eyes and walking away with his hands in his pockets.  Beth just grinned and hurried after him.  When she was by his side, she slipped her hand into his pocket to find his hand again.  He didn’t fight it.

           

 

The drive back to campus was much less tense.  Beth connected her phone so that she and Taehyun could listen to k-pop instead of the same five mainstream pop songs over and over again on the radio.  Taehyun translated the songs for her, which Beth found immensely interesting.  Most of the lyrics were quite “deep” and beautiful, even if the song seemed obnoxious.  She admitted to herself that she never really had the desire to look up the lyrics to most of her favorite k-pop songs; she just listened to them because they sounded good.  Now, Beth felt a new connection to her favorite genre of music. 

            She made a mental note to ask Taehyun to teach her Korean sometime.  It made her smile, secretly, to think that she might have a whole lifetime with him to learn the language.

            Then she knew that she was getting a little ahead of herself.  She was indeed very attracted to him both physically and emotionally, but whether or not she truly loved him (and if he truly loved her) was yet to be seen.

            When they got back to Nagano, it was pretty late.  Taehyun insisted that he walk Beth to her dorm room, despite the possible presence of the Liseiux House’s rather neurotic housemother, Miss Bryan.

            Beth fished her key out of her purse and unlocked the dorm room door.  She took a quick peek inside; Mari hadn’t returned from her date with Luhan yet.  She turned to Taehyun.

            “Well, Tay, I had a great time today.”

            He nodded plainly.  “I did, too.”

            “Kamsahamnida.”  she said, smiling.

            He smiled a tiny smile and corrected her pronunciation just a bit.  “...Not bad, though.  I’ve definitely heard worse.”  he said.

            “I’ve been listening to k-pop for over five years; you would think that I’d be able to say thank you in Korean by now.”  she said, a little embarrassed.

            “You can also say gomawo,”  he said, “but it’s less formal.”

            “So you say kamsahamnida when you’re being quite serious.”

            He nodded.  “Mm.”

            “Then I used the correct one.”  she said, smiling.

            He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at his shoes, rocking back and forth