Seunghyun was shocked more than he thought possible.  Daesung loved him?  How was that even possible? 

“You said you loved her.  I know I heard you say it, believe me.  It’s why I could tell you I was willing to do what you wanted.  Because, just yesterday, you loved her.  And now you love me?”

“I loved you, hyung.  Loved.  Not love.  I love her.”

If Seunghyun thought he was in pain before, he was in a new hell now.  All of his own making.  Daesung’s clarification had only served to twist the knife in his gut more.

“I was hung up on you for years, hyung.  But, a few years ago, when it seemed like you were maybe more interested in other things, I started trying to get over you.  I was kind of relieved when they sent me to Japan, it meant I’d see you less.  Maybe then, think about you less.  It was all working, at least kind of, when I met her.  She helped take my mind off of you more, and by the time the tour started, I was in love.  But then, of course, I saw you every day, and before I knew it, started to let you right back in.  All the hugs, touches, dancing, smiles and whispers… they all broke my defenses down little by little.  In my heart, I was happily basking in your attention again, knowing it meant nothing.  And as she started to become suspicious, I realized how stupid I was being.”

“It doesn’t mean nothing!  Stop saying that, now that you know it’s not true.  Interested in other things, when?  When you went to Japan, I was miserable.  I decided to learn more about Japan, so I started looking up artists and galleries, so that I’d have a reason to visit.  Have you ever seen me with anyone else, Daesung?  Have I ever even so much as flirted with someone else?  You got a girlfriend. One you say you love.  And all I have – now and yesterday – is no hope.”

As the biting, accusatory words left his mouth, Seunghyun wasn’t sure what the point of what he just said was.  He just knew he needed to get them out of his brain.  He felt defensive, but he wasn’t sure why.  His brain felt exhausted too, his heart sending too many powerful emotions to be able to process with any sort of clarity.

Daesung must have felt it too, because he was silent after their last bursts.  He slowly stood up and made his way toward the door.

“Where are you…”

“I can’t be here right now, hyung.  I have to go,” Daesung said, closing the door behind him.