OUR FAREWELL

***

I may not let the tears out of my eyes

but my heart will silently weep and cry

***

Time flies in the blink of an eye. Before you know, everything changes. You look back and all of what was familiar is gone. Sunggyu couldn't accept Woohyun. Well... maybe he just couldn't accept his own feelings towards the other boy. The younger one was supposed to be his enemy. He was everything Sunggyu wished to be, but knew that never will. He was a thief, who wanted to take his father. He was an attention stealer. Sunggyu didn't want to play with him or talk to him but... Woohyun was also smart and honest and... beautiful. 

Every time Sunggyu made him cry, he found strange pleasure in it. Every time he hurt the other boy, he liked it. However, he was old enough to know, that causing pain to others is wrong. That's not what a human is supposed to do. It was sick and it made Sunggyu scared. Maybe, the others were right. He was weird afterall. 

He couldn't let his twisted side to ruin everything so he did the only thing he could think about. He cried and whined and protested until finally the parents agreed to send Woohyun away. Sunggyu will never forget the day when they were taking him. They didn't tell Woohyun, what was happening but he could tell. Somehow, he knew he was not coming back and he had cried more than ever before. Holding to Sunggyu as if his life depended on it and Sunggyu couldn't understand why would Woohyun do that. Didn't he see the evil in him? Wasn't he hurting him? How could he not know that this was the best for him? That Sunggyu was trying to save him before he could completely break all the pieces that made Woohyun the wonderful person he was. 

They were talking the night before the farewell...

"Hyung~"

"What?" Sunggyu replied annoyed.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"I don't know... for whatever that makes you hate me."

"Woohyun-ah."

"I don't know what I did. I am really trying..."

"Stop it. You can't fix it. I just don't like you."

"But I can't understand... I like you so much."

"Woohyun!"

"I won't play with your toys. I won't eat your sweets. Your dad doesn't even pay attention to me so you don't need to worry. I will share my mom with you. Or you can have her, if you want to. Just please... Don't hate me."

"You don't know what you are saying."

"Hyung~" Woohyun sobbed and Sunggyu's eyes prickled with tears. The decission had already been made. Woohyun was leaving tomorrow. There was no going back.  
 

"Woohyun-ah, listen to me carefully because I won't repeat myself. You are still too young to understand some things. There are emotions, that are too complex for you. I can't explain it to you because it's not only you who wouldn't understand but I... I also don't know what it is. I don't understand you or myself. But I know something you don't. Something, that I wish to keep a secret forever. And that secret is making me do something, that will change your life forever. If my wish is granted, you will never find out the truth but even if you hate me and curse me, remember what I am saying right now. It's better for you this way. Trust me."

"I will never hate you or curse you."

"Never say never."

"I've already told you. I will love you forever."

"Forever is a long time. Sometimes too long."

"It's not. I... I may be young and not know many things but I also know something, you don't. I may not be able to name it or explain it, but it's here, between you and me and it will remain there."

"Woohyun-ah~"

"You know... one day you will realize, that you don't hate me at all."

They both fall asleep crying that night. Woohyun was right about almost everything but there was one mistake he made. Sunggyu already knew he didn't hate him. Not even in the slightest. 

That was the end of the their childhood story. Woohyun was send to the U.S. and they have not seen each other or kept in touch for years. The time spend together was nothing compared to the time spend away. When they met again... they were no longer the little kids who wore their hearts on their sleeves. They were both growned up with walls around that were high and strong. They shared the strongest connection once but now they were complete strangers.
 

What will happen to them?

In my hands
A legacy of memories
I can hear you say my name
I can almost see your smile
Feel the warmth of your embrace
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are

Never thought
This day would come so soon
We had no time to say goodbye
How can the world just carry on?
I feel so lost when you are not at my side
But there's nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?

So sorry your world is tumbling down
I will watch you through these nights
Rest your head and go to sleep
Because my child, this not our farewell.
This is not our farewell.

***

to be continued

a/n: the lyrics are from the song Our Farewell by Withing Temptation.