#10: What if there’s no him in between us, would it still be the same?

"How do you like it here?" Jackson asked when he wasn't receiving any reaction since they arrived.

"Sure." Mark answered, looking around to admire the backyard area of the huge pension house that seemingly too big for them.

"You don't like it, it's facing the sea." Jackson pointed out, sadden that the older didn't look excited or interested like he expected.

"Why do you bring me here?" Mark asked, he truthfully wasn't in the mood to enjoy his time by the sea especially not after that picture, it still haunts him until now.

He would rather just staying at home, it was better for his heart at least.

"Honeymoon." Jackson answered, he wanted them to experience it even if Mark thinks otherwise, it was their honeymoon afterall.

"I want to go home." Mark stated firmly, he obviously had made it clear that a honeymoon wasn't needed, he didn't need any more fond memories with Jackson because it will just hurt more every time he sees Jackson with someone else that's not him.

The older was ready to walk away, out of that house and find his way home but a hand grabbed hold of his wrist, holding on tight.

"Mark, please. Even if it's just for a night, please stay." Jackson pleaded, holding on tight to the other whose hating himself right now for being so weak against the younger's plead.

Sighing, he pulled his wrist out of Jackson's hold before taking a seat at the bench located in the backyard while Jackson mentally cheered, placing his backpack on the sofa inside before joining the older in the backyard.

"Jackson." An elder lady appeared  with a box full of groceries that caused the said person to quickly got up and helped the smiling lady.

"I got everything that you asked for." The lady said before turning to look at the awkward Mark who greeted her with a small bow.

"This is Mark." Jackson introduced after he done putting the box on the wooden table right beside the older's bench.

The elderly nodded, didn't seems to interested before turning to ask Jackson about his usual companion who seems to be her favorite in Mark's eyes.

"Where is Jinyoungie? He didn't come along with you, he is always here with you." The lady asked, talking fondly of the younger man that she had clearly took a liking on.

"Yes, he loves it here but I'm here on my honeymoon." Jackson pointed out awkwardly while Mark inwardly sighed, he didn't know what he should feel about this.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry. I didn't know, I thought you were dating him." The lady apologized even if she didn't look sorry at all which cause Mark to just sighed, he hates it when the elderly starts playing favourite.

"It's fine, Imo. I'm sure Jinyoung is a better choice for him than me anyway." Mark said, looking at Jackson for the last time before going inside, leaving the two speechless with his words.

He plopped himself down on a nearby sofa, he couldn't help but to just laugh at the absurdity of everything.

"Hey, what was that back then?" Jackson asked, appearing from the backyard's direction with the box, obviously didn't look too happy.

"I didn't say anything wrong, right? If Jinyoung likes this place so much, why did you bring me here instead of him?" Mark asked, he had enough of everything revolving around Jinyoung always.

"Well, I thought since Jinyoung loves it here, you would like it too. I'm just trying to make up for yesterday, why must you act like this? Can't you just appreciate it?" Jackson sighed, he couldn't understand what is such a big deal that Mark acted this way.

"Firstly, I'm not Jinyoung and secondly,  thank you for this honeymoon. It has been wonderful so far." Mark mocked as he got up and took the box from Jackson's hold, headed straight for the kitchen because he needs something to distract him and calm him down fast.

He didn't ask anything of the younger and how dare Jackson said that, if he didn't appreciate the effort then he wouldn't had stayed in the first place.

Mark dislike it, no he hates it that the fact that Jackson brought him to Jinyoung's favourite place for their so called honeymoon, a place that it's gonna be apart of their memories.

He wonders why does everything that happens between them, Jinyoung would be the one in the middle of everything.

The older quickly throws the thoughts aside before keeping away the stuffs and it didn't take that long before he was done just to be greeted by the delicious smell that leads him back to the backyard.

He was greeted with the sight of Jackson barbecuing meat and seafoods for their dinner he assumed, totally focus until he finally noticed him a few minutes later.

"Mark, take a seat. I'm working on dinner." Jackson called out awkwardly, realizing that he might had hurt the older's feelings by just assuming and not asking.

Seeing there wasn't really much option, Mark took a seat back on the bench as he continues watching Jackson busily working on their dinner.

"Ouch.." Jackson hissed in pain when his arm accidentally hit the scorching hot barbeque pit which instantly got Mark by his side on reflex.

"Be careful." Mark scolded with worry evidently on his face , pouring water from a nearby water bottle over the red skin area before running off to find a first aid kit that he fortunately found in the bathroom drawer.

By the time he was done treating Jackson, the younger was grinning like a fool as he watches Mark worried expression throughout the whole process.

"You still do care about me." Jackson exclaimed which caused Mark to froze, he forgot that he was supposed to be mad at Jackson Wang.

"Not really." Mark muttered calmly once he recovered before letting go of the arm and returning back to his seat.

Jackson just smile before he continues his task, silence once again taking over them but it didn't lasted long especially with Jackson's phone ringing non stop from the living room coffee table that it even annoys the owner.

"Can you answer my phone? Tell whoever that calls that I'm busy right now, I will return their call later." Jackson requested with his puppy eyes that Mark ignores because there was no way he would do that but the moment it started ringing again for the fourth time, Mark knows he need to help if he wants his peace back.

He walked to the living room before picking up the buzzing device from the table, a familiar name flashing on the screen.

"Jackie." Jinyoung's excited voice was heard from the other side, greeting happily while Mark almost cringed at that high tone he personally never heard before.

"It's Mark." Mark answered, knowing he probably disappointed the other because he clearly heard a sigh and the changes in Jinyoung's tone.

"Where is Jackson?" Jinyoung asked calmly, masking his surprise at the fact that Mark Tuan just answered Jackson's call for him.

"He is busy right now, I will ask him to call you back." Mark informed nicely as instructed just like the owner requested.

"What is he so busy with that he can't pick up my calls?"  Jinyoung questioned, unknowingly his tone turns demanding with the thoughts of Mark purposely distracting Jackson away from him.

"He will call you back." Mark assured even though he wasn't fond of the younger's tone towards him.

"What is he busy with, why can't you just tell me?" Jinyoung clearly demanded this time round, surprising Mark because he never expected this side coming from the usual quiet and sweet Jinyoung.

Before Mark could reply, Jackson's voice was heard calling out for him which Jinyoung obviously caught on, annoying him even more.

"Mark, are you done yet? It's ready, I can't wait. Hurry up!" Jackson shouted, obviously referring to dinner since he was starving but it didn't seems like that to Jinyoung at all.

"What are you guys doing?" Jinyoung hissed in annoyance, his mind already imagining stuffs wherelse Mark obviously didn't appreciate that tone therefore he decided to end the call so he can go and enjoy his meat.

"What do you think people do during honeymoon? Well, I need to go. Jackson is waiting." Mark exclaimed before hanging up without realizing that those words just drive Park Jinyoung insane.

Jackson watches the older quietly enjoying his food, smiling in accomplishment at how it brings smiles on Mark’s face.

“What are you looking at?" Mark asked, finally looking straight at the younger seated opposite of him who had been staring him the whole time.

"Nothing." Jackson exclaimed, quickly looking away upon being caught as he stares at his own plate in embarrassment.

Mark shake his head at the weird younger before continue eating, not trying to think too much at why he was staring so intensely at him.

"Do you really hate being here so much? We can leave after this if you want." Jackson suddenly asked after some thinking about how it will turn unpleasant for the both of them if they stay longer.

"Since when my opinion matters, I'm touched." Mark said with a tint of sarcasm that cause Jackson to sighed, since when did Mark Tuan's words got this sharp.

"Mark, I'm serious. Can you please just give it a rest for now?" Jackson sighed, he had enough for that attitude for today.

"I'm serious too. When did I start to matters in anything especially concerning you?" Mark pointed out as he stopped eating, looking at Jackson straight on that the younger almost regretted saying those words.

"You always had, what are you saying?" Jackson said in disbelief, clearly getting annoyed as he for once didn't understand that attitude that Mark had given him, all day long.

Mark just laughed dryly, he must be stupid if he believes that because if he did matters in the first place, Jackson wouldn't tortured him for these past twelves years.

“If I had matters, you wouldn’t put me through hell all these years, Ka Yee.” Mark said, almost in a whisper before he got up, trying to walk away.

“It seems that all you know is to walk away every time, right? Did you ever wondered how I felt back then? How I felt when you were forced out of my life? Did you expected me to act like per usual after all that?” Jackson said, tone almost broken as he stares at the older’s back while Mark just closes his eyes, trying hard to control his own emotions.

“Fine, it’s my fault. I failed to understand you.” Mark said, he knows at the end of day he will turn out to be the bad guy.

“Mark, it’s isn’t like that. I…”  Jackson exclaimed, approaching the older but paused when he saw tears dripping down Mark’s cheeks.

“You know what, it for me too but being the older one, I always it up and withstand everything even to the point when you shattered me into a million pieces. I’m a human too, Ka Yee. I got hurt just the same like everyone else.” Mark said, smiling bitterly at the younger as he quickly wiped those tears before heading straight for an empty bedroom.

Jackson feels like smashing something, he feels so angry at how broken they both are but he did nothing but make it worse all these years, he deserve a punch or something.

In order to control his emotion, Jackson distracted himself with cleaning up the mess he created while preparing dinner before finally settling down in an empty room beside Mark’s.

Unknowingly both struggled to get some sleep especially with million of thoughts going through their head, it feels like as if it’s gonna explode.

####

Mark twisted and turned, trying hard to fall back asleep but it wasn’t working so he decided to just give up before getting up to grab a drink.

If only he could sleep a bit more but it doesn’t seem possible, especially with the fact that Jackson still bothering him even in his sleep.

He was surprised to see Jackson seating in the dark living room, spacing out with a mug in his hold.

Upon hearing those faint footsteps, Jackson looks up and caught Mark staring at him.

"Hey.." Jackson greeted softly while Mark hesitate, he still feel awkward especially after what happened during dinner.

"What are you doing up?" Jackson continued, knowing that it's probably awkward for the older just like him but he needs to make it work.

"I wanna get some drink." Mark replied, looking everywhere else expect the younger who only nodded before getting up after putting his mug down on the coffee table.

"Take a seat first." Jackson said, walking past the older before heading straight for the kitchen while Mark just took a seat, he wasn't in the mood to state otherwise.

It took a while before Jackson return with a mug and present it to Mark who accepted it with a soft 'thanks'.

"Don't worry, I didn't add anything into it." Jackson assured, taking a seat back at his previous spot while Mark whose seated not to far just let out a small smile.

"I don't think you would dare especially after what it got us into." Mark said causing Jackson to look down in guilt, knowing this mess is a result of his stupidity.

"I know, right? It must being stuck with me." Jackson exclaimed, a bit hurt by Mark's words even though it was the truth.

"I didn't say that, you were the one." Mark pointed out before he slowly sipped on the hot drink while Jackson just pouted, it's hard to read Mark Tuan.

The silence soon returned as the pair just sit quietly, both caught up in their own thoughts until Jackson finally break the silence again.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I don't know what to say.” Jackson apologized, he knows that he needs to clear up about earlier incident.

"You don't have to, I didn't understand you but you didn't understand me either so it's fair.” Mark pointed out, they had a fair share of pain throughout the years so there wasn’t any use in harping on it.

"I hated you for putting me through everything but I didn't realized that you were going through the same thing. I hated the fact that I lose my best friend just like that, at that point I even hated my life." Jackson said it out in his mind, he wanted to shout it out at the older but it was just stuck in his throat.

"Have you ever hated yourself for having to let go of that someone?" Jackson suddenly asked instead, surprising Mark with the question.

Of course he does, he hates himself of letting go of Jackson all these while just to help their parents out with the plan, he always wonders if things would be different if the younger had known the truth.

Taking Mark's silence for something else, Jackson just laughed bitterly which instantly caused the older to look at him, lost.

"What am I even asking you? Someone like you wouldn't even have to worry about letting go because there's always someone else willing to replace that empty spot." Jackson exclaimed, knowing that a guy like Mark Tuan didn't had to worry about such a thing.

It's true, he was always surrounded by suitors especially with most of his clients setting him up their child or just blind dates that popped up every now and then but Mark never really found anyone that managed to replace Jackson in his heart.

"How about you?" Mark asked slowly, wondering why the other would come up with such a question out of the blue.

“I hate myself so bad right now, you had no idea.” Jackson whispered out in a low tone as he stares at the face of the person he let go all these years.

Mark looked away, he clearly knows who the younger meant because right now he was the reason of their separation but deep down in his heart, he was praying hard that he might be wrong.

“Aren’t you going back to sleep?” Jackson asked upon realizing that the atmosphere got heavy again, trying to lighten it up.

“No, I don’t think I can.” Mark answered as he continue sipping on the drink while Jackson decided to inched closer before plopping his head on Mark’s lap.

“What are you doing?” Mark asked in surprise as he stare at the younger who just adjusting his head to get more comfortable on his lap.

“Help me out, please. I can’t sleep properly and I forget to bring my sleeping pills.” Jackson said, pouting with his puppy eyes as he

look at the older who smile a little, successful in breaking that heavy atmosphere.

“Sleeping pills?” Mark asked in concern, worrying because why would the younger even need sleeping pills for.

“Yes, I just have problem sleeping most of the time and it’s your fault.” Jackson replied nonchalantly, adding in the last part playfully even though it was true.

“How is it my fault?” Mark wondered out loud, getting worried even though that excusation didn’t sound serious.

“Not telling but you have to take responsibility.” Jackson exclaimed, sticking his tongue out at Mark before hiding his face on the older’s stomach.

“Fine, just don’t drool on me.” Mark sighed in defeat with a smile as he watches the younger nuzzled against his stomach.

“Don’t worry, I will try my best to drool as much as possible.” Jackson chuckled causing Mark to smack his arm playfully.

“Gross.” Mark scolded before unconsciously playing with Jackson’s hair, not realizing that it’s helps the younger to relax and unwind totally.

“Is it really my fault?” Mark asked softly this time round, watching the other breathing slowly with his eyes close.

“It doesn’t matter as long you are by my side now.” Jackson said, opening his eyes before giving Mark the sweetest smile that he could probably imagine coming from Jackson Wang.

At that moment Mark knows that it’s gonna be hard to push Jackson Wang out of his life even if he tried hard too.

Those faint snores pulled him out of his thoughts before a smile appeared on his face, watching Jackson fast asleep on his lap, face hidden by his stomach.

Mark rested his head while watching the younger, glowing with the bit of moonlight shining through the glass door and just like that he drifted off to sleep, peacefully.

By the time Jackson stirred up, it’s already passed breakfast time so he slowly got up to whipped up some food after repositioning the still asleep Mark on the sofa, comfortably.

“Mark…” Jackson whispered into Mark’s ear after settling their readied brunch on the coffee table, chuckling when he saw the older scrunched his nose cutely as he stirred from sleep.

“Wake up...Dimsum..” Jackson whispered again, this time poking his cheeks which proved to be effective because Mark’s eyes finally fluttered open, staring at him in confusion.

“Good morning.” Jackson greeted softly as the older slowly got up, trying to register at what’s going on and when he finally did, he muttered a soft ‘morning’ to the younger.

“I whipped up some simple spaghetti meatball, hope it isn’t too bad.” Jackson said, passing a plate to the older who looked at him weirdly, spaghetti for breakfast.

“It’s past lunch.” Jackson pointed out, pointing to the clock hanging on the wall which caused Mark to smile sheepishly, realizing that he was the one that slept in till this late.

“I’m sorry, I don’t usually slept in much. Was it difficult to whipped this up?” Mark apologized, knowing that the younger had very basic cooking skills so he probably did struggled to cooked this up.

“It’s fine, I’m confident enough in the dish.” Jackson exclaimed proudly, glad that he picked this skill up so that he can cook Mark’s favourite for him.

Mark just smile before twirling some spaghetti on his fork, taking his first bite that makes the confident Jackson beside him, nervous.

The older purposely frowned, just to tease the younger which of course cause Jackson to panicked almost instantly, taking a bite himself.

“It isn’t that bad.” Jackson exclaimed in defence, pouting at the older which cause Mark to burst out laughing at the poor younger.

“You are such a meanie.” Jackson grumbled, glaring at the older before stuffing more spaghetti into his mouth, staining it in the process.

Mark puts down his plate before reaching out to wipe the stains with his thumb which instantly caused Jackson to froze at the contact, staring at the older.

Without realizing his eyes travel down to those lips and unconsciously, the distance between them where close as Jackson’s lips rested on Mark’s, shocking the older.

It took Jackson a while to registered what he just did before he pulled away, looking away from the flushed older whose looking everywhere else except him.

Due to that sudden kiss, the atmosphere turn super awkwards as they continue eating in silence before the door bell rang which Jackson when ahead to answer.

“I brought you some dessert, did you already had lunch?” The familiar voice was heard before the elder lady from yesterday reappeared with Jackson into the living room area.

Mark greeted the lady with a smile and a nod which she might just had ignored before taking a seat at the single seater sofa opposite of them.

“Yes, we are just having some spaghetti that I cooked.” Jackson informed, not really noticing the tense between the older lady and Mark as he took a seat back beside the older who just staying quiet and eating slowly.

“Oh, you cooked? Can I taste some?” The lady exclaimed excitedly which of course got Jackson excited too as he got up to grab a plate of it.

When he finally returned with a plate, the lady instantly give a taste before smiling in delight, giving Jackson a thumbs up.

“Delicious, you did well but it does taste familiar. It taste like Jinyoungie’s.” The lady exclaimed in delight upon pointing out the taste causing Mark to look at Jackson, somehow getting a bad vibes.

“Yes, I learned to cook it from Jinyoungie. You know he's a great cook, Imo.” Jackson exclaimed oblivious to the fact that Mark Tuan just stop eating his favourite food.

“Of course, his cooking is superb. Definitely praiseworthy.” The lady praised, looking at Mark who didn’t react, just stayed quiet.

In an instant, Mark just loss all of his appetite to eat his favourite and excused himself from the chatting duo.

Mark almost cheered in happiness when he was greeted by the mess that where created in the kitchen by Jackson, he actually had something to distract him from bursting out in anger at Jackson Wang.

“Mark, there you are. Do you wanna taste the cake?” Jackson appeared, obviously in a good mood after chatting with his Imo without realizing Mark’s mood right now.

“No thanks.” Mark replied, rejecting the dessert straight away even though Jackson was standing beside him, he only focus on the washing.

“Come on, have a taste.” Jackson tried to feed but Mark just jerked away, surprising the younger who obviously dropped that spoonful of cake.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jackson hissed, clearly annoyed at the moody older who he can’t even understand.

“Didn’t I say I don’t want?” Mark pointed out, wiping his hands before moving around to keep the utensils away.

“It’s just a cake, it’s not gonna kill you if you eat it.” Jackson exclaimed in anger as he watches at how the older acted like he didn’t do anything wrong.

“It’s not gonna kill you either if I don’t eat it, right?” Mark rebutted, finally turning to look at the other with an annoyed expression.

“Can you stop being so difficult? What else do you want? I have done everything to make it work.” Jackson shouted, he had enough of this nonsense since yesterday.

“I’m difficult?” Mark muttered in disbelief, hurt clearly in his eyes that it makes Jackson looked away in guilt.

Before Jackson could even said anything, his phone rang again which just caused Mark to laughed dryly.

“You should probably picked that up, your Jinyoungie is looking for you since yesterday.” Mark snickered, smirking before trying to exit the kitchen but Jackson grabbed on, holding to his wrist.

“Do you have a problem with that? Jinyoung is my best friend.” Jackson hissed after he spurned the older around to face, grip getting tighter on Mark’s wrist.

“It doesn’t appear that way to me. You left our wedding for a best friend? You lied to me over a best friend? Are you sure he is just a best friend? He seems special to me.” Mark said dryly, that smirk never leaves his face before he harshly pulled his wrist out of Jackson’s hold.

“I…” Jackson was stumped, obviously didn’t expect all that coming from Mark since he thought that he covered his tracks well while Mark is slowly getting super pissed at the ringing device in the background.

“You know what, just save it. Answer that damn phone and than we are heading home.” Mark hissed, glaring at the younger before heading to the bedroom, away from the stupid younger.

A/N: Hi, how did the chapter when for you guys? If you were Mark, would you be pissed at Jackson too? I know I would, oh well don't forget to share your feels with me like usual and also I skipped on replying comments because I'm down with a bad cough which comes with my laziness so forgive me but i did read all the comments. Thank you to all subscribers for subscribing and please support my ebook for Work To My Heart (click here for details). See you in next update.

<3 InfinitelyCassie