I need memories

The image of you loving me
is fading away
I can’t see your face
The love is being forgotten

The tears that fell down my cheeks
Have dried up at some point
As if to show you, my weight that got so thin
Has become the same as I was with you
Now I don’t skip meals,
I can fall asleep without shedding thick tears

Yes go, no don’t go

When I had this crazy cycle of heartbreak
You looked at me with a pitiful look
I can never forget that
I can never forget that
I can never forget that
I was mistaken and now
I can’t even remember your face

Baby bye bye bye
I tried to hold onto you
But I couldn’t easily hold you
So I forgot you without even knowing
Baby bye bye bye
Now I don’t even shed tears
Your eyes, your touch, your everything
They’re being forgotten

Places I went with you, food I ate with you
Things I talked about with you, they’re becoming blank
I forgot about the black and blue bruised reasons too
I long for the days I uselessly tried to
wash you away and erase you
I miss the scars from back then
Why? I want to be hurt because of you again
I want to be in pain

because of you and shed tears

I want to shed tears
I want to shed tears
But now my heart is dull
and there are no tears left to shed

Baby bye bye bye
I tried to hold onto you
But I couldn’t easily hold you
So I forgot you without even knowing
Baby bye bye bye
Now I don’t even shed tears
Your eyes, your touch, your everything
They’re being forgotten

Yeah I need need need memories
Yeah I need need need memories
Yeah I need need need memories
Yeah I need need need memories

Yeah I need memories
The times I laughed and cried with you
Yeah I need memories
Your face that looked at me
I can’t forget it like this
I loved you too much to forget
I can’t easily let go of you
I’d rather go back to the past
Hold you when you were leaving and say I love you
I should’ve shaken off reality and flipped our fate
I can’t let you go like this, I’ll never let go
Even if I lose you, I can’t ever forget you
To make it forever,
I’ll love you not with my heart but with my head

Baby bye bye bye
Though you’re not by my side
I’ll remember the you of the past
I’ll love you once again
Baby bye bye bye
Even if I shed tears again
I’ll think of your eyes, your touch, your everything
As I cry

Yeah I need need need memories
Yeah I need need need memories
Yeah I need need need memories
Yeah I need need need memories

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was all a mass of gray, really, in the end. Like brain juice. Like when you press your palms hard against your closed eyes and see nothing but swirling colourlessness and specks of harsh blinding light. It looked like that; it felt like that. It hurt.
That was what it was like once the memories returned - it hurt.

Ravi pressed his palms against his eyeballs, driving them into his skull, and relished in the throbbing pain, letting the searing ache numb what he was feeling in his heart. It was all so wrong, as if some force had suddenly jarred reality, and brought into existence these ...unreal memories that didn't belong to him. 

That wasn't him, was it? That little boy in the large grey shirt, sitting in front of the swings and watching his friend swing higher and higher while singing some song to the clouds, trying to guess at which point the younger would make a mistake and fall...? It couldn't be him, yanking that boy from before, darting across a less than busy street to the eating house across the road? And ordering bubble tea and mocha? And pointing and laughing at the cream-mustache on the other's lip? He remembered these, now. He remembered, but it felt artificial; he felt removed.

Because although he remembered he had once laughed, he could no longer understand why a mocha-mustache could make him smile, why it had even made his lips twitched then, or why the uncontrollable rolls of laughter had crashed out of his stomach like waves against a rough shore, a stitch burning into his side from laughing too much. 

He remembered, but it was merely a baubled memory, trapped within a glass globe. He could see through its transparency, but the cold glass kept his touch away from the core. He could remember it all, but his heart couldn't reach a single emotion of his memories.

~~~