Jessica came home from university – excited to hear from her father that her Provisional Drivers License had arrived. She had waited approximately 2 weeks for her license to be mailed to her house. She was excited to drive the car by herself. No more naggings. No more scolding from her father.

Upon arriving home, she kicked off her shoes and ran upstairs to her bedroom and see’s the driver’s license on top of her laptop. She grabbed it and smiled down at it. She was proud. She had received many compliments from both her driving instructor and from the person that tested her. She got a total of 103 which was 98% of the total score.

She then took out her Learner’s license and replaced it with the Provisional license card. Her father walked passed and shook his head with a chuckle and went downstairs. Looking up, Rin tilted her head, confused. She thought she would get more of a reaction from her father considering he sounded happy earlier on the phone call.

“Aren’t you happy?” she asked when she came downstairs in her pyjamas and tied her hair up in a pony tail.

“Happy for what?” her father questions as he stirred the soup he was cooking for dinner.

“You’re not happy that I’ve passed the test?”

Her father chuckled. “Of course I’m happy dear.” he gave her a big smile. “What else do you want me to do? You can drive on your own now.”

“Okay...” she muttered. “I thought you were going to give me something.” She stared at the floor and headed back upstairs, and instead of doing her assignments like the good girl she’s supposed to be, she went straight to sleep.

Few days later, Jessica decided that she was good to drive by herself. She told herself many times that she was confident and told her father sometime on Wednesday afternoon that she was going to go the markets to buy some food and asked him if he wanted anything.

“Just buy some shallots.” Her father said as he sits down on the couch. “I’ve already drunk 3 cans of beer so I can’t come with you.”

“Okay!” Jessica runs out to the garage to put on her joggers.

“Jessica, wait!” her father called out to her before she even opened the front door.

“Yes?”

“You must remember to look carefully when you’re reversing the car. Go out slowly. Check both the front and back when you’re reversing the car.”

“Yes, yes. I know.” she rolled her eyes. “I’ll be back.”

Jessica arrives at the plaza’s parking lot and because it was a hot day, she parked the car under a tree. She knew that she had to reverse the car back to get out later but she was confident that she would be fine.

Locking the door of the car, she heads off into the plaza to get the things she wanted to buy and what her father wanted. After buying what she wanted; chips, lollies, drinks, shallots and a whole bunch of junk food, she decides it was time to head back home.

Carrying four heavy bags of food weren’t the brightest idea. Man, I should have just taken the trolley with me. She thought as she huffed and puffed towards her father’s car. “Why did I park so far?” She grunts and pulled the bags up and tried to stretch her arms.

When she arrived back at the car, she proceeded to put everything in the back seats. The moment she got in the driver’s seat and started the engine, another car parked fairly close to her car. The gap between Jessica’s car and the car beside her was probably only half a door gap to get out.

Jessica was confident that she would reverse out without any problem but she was dead wrong when she was reversing back out. She turned the wheel to the right a bit too early and the front of her car scratched the back left door of the car beside her. She froze in horror and stared at the male that was standing behind her car. She didn’t know what to do until she was gestured by the man to drive forward and she did.

. I’m so dead. She turned off the engine and got out. Then she was talking to the driver and the driver’s father. She cursed at herself and stared at the scratch on the car. The car looked new as well.

Jessica had to call her brother because she was too afraid to call her father and tell what happened, only because she took her father’s car and needed her brother to bring her father to where the shopping plaza was.

What seemed like hours, her brother and her father arrived. Jessica did everything she could to avoid her father’s gaze. She was in deep and she feared for the worst. While her father and brother were talking to the two males, she was in her car, her heart beating like crazy. Her father was all smiles while talking to the man, but she knew better. He was angry and he was when he sat in the passenger seat.

“What the did I tell you?” he yells and buckles the seat belt. “Well, what are you waiting for? Start the bloody engine.”

Jessica bit down on her lower lips, trying to fight back the tears.

“I’m telling you to look behind and at the front! How many times do I have to tell you? How many times have you done this? I’ve told you before!” he snaps, pulling Jessica’s hair.

“Can you not be so violent!?” Jessica’s brother shouts and shakes his head.

 Jessica felt more miserable when she got back home. She immediately took off her shoes and ran upstairs to her room as she hears her father yell at her, cuss at her, insult her, calling her stupid and much more. She curls up in her bed, crying softly.

It was only a small mistake. Everyone make mistakes. He talks as if she had committed a crime and how he’s saying all these things feels like she’s being stabbed in the heart multiple times. She couldn’t take it anymore and continued crying. She hears her father’s footsteps and him taking his keys before leaving the house with her mother.

Now she was alone in the house. She sniffs and stares at the scissors beside her bed. Jessica remembers the times she felt like she wanted to kill herself so many times but never had the courage to do so. When she wanted to take her life, she thought about her friends, the people she would leave behind and would back out of it.

She stares at it before reaching out to it and holds one of the blades. She places the blade on her arm and stared at it before pulling the blade over her arm over and over until it bled. It hurt. It hurts so much but her heart was even more pain. The pain soothed her pained heart and to be honest, all the things she had put up with her father had made her question whether she really wants to live anymore.

She remembers the time her father called her un-respectful daughter because she was side-eyeing him while he was giving a lecture. But, she wasn’t giving him a side-eye. She couldn’t take it anymore and stared at her arm that was now bleeding with cuts caused by the scissors.

Dropping the scissors, she got up and went to the bathroom and the showerhead. After taking a knife with her back to the bathroom, she placed it down and sat down and held the knife.

I can’t take this anymore.

She tears up and a single tear drops down. She blinks away her tears and tried to steady her breathing.

I don’t want to live anymore.

She raises the knife and brings it back down into her thigh. She bites back a scream and more tears flows down her cheeks. She pulls the knife out and gasps.

My dear friends, I’m sorry. I’ll be going first.

She positions the blade of the knife near her stomach.

I’m sorry I was such a bad daughter. My dear older brother, thank you for always being there for me, buying me things…

She s the knife into her stomach and pushes the knife in deeper before pulling it back out. The knife falls out of her hand and onto the floor. Her body was already wet and her own blood was slowly going down the drain.

Jessica’s vision slowly blurred and the pain became unbearable. Her breathing was fast as she tried not to cry.

I love you. Goodbye.

Her vision blacks out and her body slumps to the side. Nothing could be heard but the running water from the showerhead.