Summary: Lay wanted to apologize, but he still couldn’t find the right time. He was holding him back from going to where he truly belongs. The guilt that was holding him. It was their last Christmas together; it was their happiest yet the saddest.

When Lay woke up, it was an early morning in his office. His desk lamp light was on, and he realized that he has fallen asleep on his desk while reading some thesis. He looked at the clock idly as the time ticked by. Then, he sighed deeply while standing up. As he stand up from his chair, he heard his bone cracking. His joints ached from sleeping on the table, sitting down uncomfortably. He massaged his back a little before yawning and stretching at the same time. He came out of his office to the washroom in order to wash himself for work. He scratched his head, then made his way to wash his face. After washing his face, he was drying his face with the towel next to the washstand. While drying his face, he realized a boy behind him through the mirror. Shocked by the sudden presence, he turn to his back immediately.

“What…” Lay started.

“You slept at your office on the table again.” The boy said.

“...How did you know?” he asked.

“It’s just intuition,” The boy replied with a smile.

“Then, what are you doing at this time?”  Lay asked.

“To see you…”

“Then, show your presence sooner...I was surprised.”

How can I do that? Chen asked jokingly with a huge grin on his face. As Chen said his words, Lay shaked his head in sadness. As he came out of his room, Chen followed after him; however, Chen’s footstep couldn’t be heard. Lay continuously turned back to check if Chen was behind him. In the end, Lay slow down and walked right next to Chen.

“Why?” Chen asked questioningly.

“It’s making me uncomfortable...I can’t be sure if you are actually behind me or not.” Lay answered back.

“Hehe, should I keep talking?” Chen asked while laughing.

“It’s okay.”

Despite the cold attitude Lay was displaying, Chen kept smiling. In the hallway, there were lots of nurses, doctors, and patients that were roaming around. Lay was simply greeting with a slight nod to the people he was passing by; meanwhile, Chen would greet with a bow stating “anyeonghasaeyo”  to every person his eyes met with. Even though Chen would greet them, the people around the hallway would only respond to Lay’s simple greeting, and they wouldn’t give any reaction to Chen’s. Although his greetings weren’t recognized, Chen would greet them nonetheless with a huge smile on his face. Lay frowned upon at Chen’s actions.

“Why...are you working so hard?” Lay asked.

“Huh?” Chen questioned back.

“Those people...they don’t even return your greeting,” Lay stated quietly, almost as close to murmur.

“It’s just that they can’t return it,” Chen stated matter of factly.

“Don’t waste your energy...only your neck would hurt from continuous bowing.” Lay said with a slight worry.

“I can’t be feel any pain….anymore,” Chen said with a sad smile on his face.

Lay stopped abruptly at Chen’s statement. Because of the sudden pause, Chen, who was walked ahead a little, stopped to turn back and look at Lay. Lay’s facial expression looked sad and was full of guilt.

“Is something wrong?” Chen asked with worry.

“Nothing...it’s just…” Lay couldn’t say anything.

“It’s been awhile since the incident...and you are still like this,” Chen said with a slight joking tone.

“You’re right...it’s been already past month,” Lay said quietly.

“Yup, time goes by really quickly, right?” Chen asked.

After his statement, Chen stared at Lay for an answer, but Lay seemed like he didn’t want to answer as he started to walk again. Chen smiled at Lay’s reaction as he followed after Lay. He was about to put his arm around Lay’s arm, but he stopped himself. Lay turned around to see Chen.

“You shouldn’t be doing this anymore...this is not good” Lay said to Chen.

“...You are right...I am a real idiot aren’t I,”

“But...shouldn’t you be get going soon,” Lay asked quietly.

“Yea...but...I still have some time left,”

“Really? Then, stay with me longer…”

There is too much people here. Lay murmured quietly before going inside his office, which Chen diligently followed him in. Lay closed the door, then sat down on his chair while Chen sat down on the bed next to the desk.

“There’s nice bed right next to you...but why do you always sleep on your desk?” Chen asked as if he couldn’t understand.

“I just crash whenever I am tired while reading some thesis.”

“But...you’re going to injure you back. You can get sick and ill really easily...like me….” Chen said the last part quietly in which Lay could barely catch it.

“You didn’t get your health deteriorated...you were just really weak since young…”

“Still…” Chen said weakly.

As Chen weakly stated his statement, Lay could only look at Chen in sadness. The coffee on his desk from last night was cold, and the plant his patient gave him as a present was dead long ago.

“How long?” Lay asked.

“Huh?”

“You...have to get going soon...how long do you have until then?” Lay asked again

“Not much….like really little bit more…”

Chen looked at the ground in sadness. He wanted to touch Lay, but he couldn’t. Both stayed silent for long, until the PDA inside Lay’s white coat rang. Lay took out the PDA and answered while standing up from his chair. He made a serious expression before stating that he would get there immediately. He hanged up and looked at Chen for a little bit.

“Is it emergency patient?” Chen asked with a curiosity.

“It’s an arrest (Cardiac arrest: Where your heart stop momentarily) patient.”

“This time you can do well...Make sure you can save the patient this time,” Chen said as in encouragement.

“...”

Lay was silent.

“If you don’t do that...you are the one who will always be sad…” Chen said sadly.

“I will be back…”

Then, Lay ran out of his office, even forgetting to close the door. Chen was able to see the hallway through the open door. He stood up from the bed, where he was sitting, and he went right behind the door. He looked at the door worriedly.

Need to close the door….

He stared at the door until a passing nurse closed the door.

--

After a while, Lay came back to his office with a tired expression. He looked around to see Chen sleeping on his bed. Not wanting to wake Chen up,