That morning.....

                Early the morning our kitchen already noisy with some inhuman scream by me and black smoke due to my lack of cooking skill. I stared at the dish in front of me and bitterly smile. Messy kimbab,tasteless cheese stick, unknown sandwich, look-like-laundry-water-soup and my most confident kimchi fried rice Ok, I admit. I can’t cook. Heh.

“But still. Lucky I don’t burn the house.” I said to myself with a  proud face. Then I started to clean all the mess that I made in the kitchen. I’m good at doing house chores but still, not cooking . My wife always forbid me from entering the kitchen because I might burn everything. Usually my lovely wife who cook for the family. But today is special, it’s her birthday.

                After finish washing all the pilling dishes, I peeked a glance at the clock. “Crap, it almost afternoon!!!”

I rush to my 3-year-old twins, Jung Dani and Jung Daeho who were still sleeping.

“Boys!!!!!! Wake up!!! Rise and shine, boys!!!!!” I scream brightly while pulling away their blanket to annoy them. Dani and Daeho started to whine irritated. “You are too loud, appa~~~”  Daeho said annoying while covering his ear with both of his hands. His brother, Dani continue his sleeping and not bother with their father’s high-pitch inhuman scream. “You scream like an old man, appa~~~” Dani’s answer shock me out.

                I throw them my judging face and started to nag. “What did you guys said just now? I’m too loud? Scream like an old man?” I walked toward them slowly as I keep on babbling. Then I attacked them with my hands, I tickle them until they laughing for hard. “Do you know with this handsome face, I made your lovely mother fall in love with me? And this old man also the one who made you? Do you know?” I asked joking and they still cracked up like crazy on the bed.

                “Aigoo… Appa is tired. Enough boys, enough… Hahahahaahaaa…” I said while still giggling when the twins attack me back. Dani and Daeho rolling back on their bed with huge grin plastered on their face. “Boys, go take your bath. We are going to a surprise picnic for mom. Today is her birthday, remember?” I said as I lying in between them and stared at the ceiling.

“When? Now? Meet mom?” Daeho asked excitedly. His cute little eyes sparkling as he staring at me.  “Really appa??!!” Dani literally screamed right beside my ears.  I sighed and noded, “Yup. I told you guys last night. Go take your bath now~~~~”  

The boys ran toward the bathroom and took their bath. “Quick, Dani-ah~~~ Daeho-ah~~~ We need to look cool and handsome went meet mom. “ I said and getting their cloth ready. While my eyes also peeking their action in the bathroom because sometimes they will fight for the soap in the toilet.

“Appa!!!!!!!!! Dani don’t give me the soap!!!!”

I told you, they will fight.

                After the chaos letting both Dani and Daeho ready I packed our food into a picnic basket. The boys were just staring at me. “Appa…. You are so slow.. Mommy already wait for us… You really got no jam..” My cheeky Dani spoke. I throw him a judging face, “I now… Mom already  wait..”   “But who’s on earth  teach you to said like that toward your old man??!!”  I asked in shocked.

                “Namjoonie uncle~~~ Haahahahahaha….”  Both of them laugh and quickly ran to escape from me. I froze for a moment.

“ I should never let them hang out with Namjoon after this..”

                As fast as lightning I went into my room. A white shirt and black tie caught my sight; a smile drew on my face. I still remember vividly the first time I meet my wife in this outfit. ”You look good in this outfit..” She said and gave me a sweet smile that made my heart flutter. Without reason I’m blushing while get myself ready. Felt like falling in love with her again.

                Dani and Daeho were busy running all the way to the top of the hill. “Mum!! We already here!!” Daeho said happily from the far. Both of them already arrived at the place where my wife was. They must be really happy meeting her. Yes, that place where she always there.

“Hye, babe.. We are here…”

A white cemetery caught my eyes and a bitter smile came out from my lips.

                I set up our picnic beside her cemetery  that under a shady tree. Dani and Daeho busy nagging beside ‘their mother’.

“Mum, it’s your birthday!! We bought food!!”

“ And cake too!!! “

“Daeho bring you sunflower. You love it don’t you.” They said cutely. I just stared at them while holding back my aching heart.

“Mum, when will you come back?”

“Appa can’t cook!” Dani rant.

“Yes!! Appa always cook black smoke!!” Daeho added. My eyes widen when I heard what they talked about.  “This little…”

“Don’t you lonely down there? Can we follow you, mum?” My words stop.

“Comeback, mummy. We miss you….” My heart ripped into pieces. I knew it was hard for them, for me too.

                “Never shed tears, okay? You’re my hope! Hope is hurt once, pain end, remember oppa?” Her sweet voice echoed in my ears, her last words through the phone before left us forever. Because of a reckless driver she got hit by a car during her way fetching the twins from the daycare. She hurt badly and I was not with her that time. I was too busy with my career. It hurt me every time I think of it. I wasn’t with her during her hard time, I blame myself for that. The one who should be taken was me not her. I was just a helpless rotten husband.

                I watched Dani and Daeho running around the hill. They busy playing with their own. I knew they’re happy, met their mother. Again I hold back my sadness that already filled my heart. I need to be strong enough to support both of our sons. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks without I realized, it’s hurt.

“Babe, you’re never coming back. And I honestly trying my hardest to be ok with that. But still.

 I miss you.”