“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

I coughed a few times when I finally finished screaming, my lungs crying out for oxygen, my throat raw, and my knuckles white from the force of my grip on the railings. I straightened up and looked out at the view from the building’s roof. The glittering lights of the city sprawling out before me.

The pressure was just too much. Being the only foreigner in my group is proving to be harder than I thought it would be. Everyone laughs at my Korean even though I’m trying my best. I know my dancing isn’t as good as the others, but my singing makes up for it… at least I think it does… Ugh... Now I’m second guessing every little detail. I glanced down at the magazine at my feet, the pages crumpled up from my rough treatment of it. I slumped down and picked it up, my eyes skimming over the article about our debut. My eyes focusing on certain words throughout the article, highlighting all of my weaknesses.

I sighed loudly and let my head smack off of the railings with a loud clang. I winced at the noise but didn’t make any move to alleviate my now throbbing skull. “Feel better after that?” asked a voice that I immediately recognised. I looked around and saw Hoseok, his figure appearing from the other side of the rooftop. He smiled at me before sitting down beside me.

I looked down at my feet as I tried to slip the magazine out of his line of vision, but he was faster than me. He plucked the magazine out of my hands and flipped through it. “Why are you up here?” I asked. Hoseok smiled, “I've been up here for a while. I come here when I need some peace and quiet or just some time to myself.”

Peace and quiet? Oops. “Oh, I'm sorry, I’ll leave.” I moved to stand up but was stopped when Hoseok gently grabbed my wrist. “You don't have to, I don't mind sharing this space with you.” I nodded, not knowing what to say and sat back down, crossing my legs. This serious Hoseok catching me completely off guard.

We sat in silence for a while, him looking through the stolen magazine, me looking up at the stars. Eventually I couldn’t take the silence any longer, “How long have you been coming up here?” I asked. “Quite a while, it’s the best place to go because no one would think of looking up here. I come up here if I need to relax or just… get away.” Hoseok replied as he shifted his pose to mimic mine. I nodded in understanding, “Same here.” He looked at me, with a look of concern. “So what’s bothering you?”

I kept my gaze upwards. I was about to answer, but Hoseok interrupted me. “Don’t say nothing, Aria. I heard your scream. Something must be bothering you, I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”

I closed my mouth and dropped my gaze, feeling guilty for being caught before I even spoke. I could feel the intensity of Hoseok’s gaze on me, but I didn’t feel pressured, his gaze was warm, and reassuring. “I just feel like no matter what, I’m not good enough.” I took a deep breath, it felt like I had opened the flood gates with no way to close them up. I’d always felt this connection with Hoseok, from my first day as a trainee when BTS came to give us all a pep talk. They’d come in when we were dancing, something I’ve always been weaker at and he still complimented and encouraged me. We’d become friends since that day, he felt like an older brother, even though we’re the same age.

“I know I’m not the best dancer. I know I’m not as pretty as the others. I know my Korean isn’t great. But it’s not like I’m not trying. But no one seems to say that. Everyone just seems to focus on the things I’m crap at.” I said, my hands gesturing wildly and pointing at the magazine. Hoseok sighed, “You’re not taking this seriously are you?” he said as he lifted the magazine up to my eye level. “It’s kinda hard not to.” I said, trying not to pout. “This is what I think about these articles.” Hoseok said as he tore the page out of the magazine and ripped it into tiny pieces. My eyes opened wide at his actions. “Hobi…”

“These articles always nit-pick and need things to write about. Why would you take them seriously? Your Korean is amazing, especially considering it’s your third language, you’re obviously gorgeous, and so your dancing might not be up to my level, but let’s be honest, not many people are on my level.” He said with a big grin which I couldn’t help but return. I shoved him gently. “Listen to the people in your life that matter, not the opinions of some stupid reporter that’s trying to sell their stupid magazine.” I sighed and leaned back against the railings. “Thanks Hobi.” I said as let my head rest on his shoulder.

He chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, sharing his body heat with me in the cold November air. “That’s why I’m your hope!” he said, his cheesy line making me laugh. We sat in silence for a while until Hoseok spoke up, “Hey, Aria? I don't mind sharing my quiet place with you, but there's one condition though.” He said seriously making me move away from him so that I could look him in the eye. “What's that?” he gave me a big grin, “You have to warn me if you're going to yell like that again. I nearly had a heart attack!” I chuckled and gently pushed him before settling back against him, “I will, I promise.”