"What is this?" Hyuk whimpers, staring at the shop sign. He blinks once but the "XxX Pleasure" in hot pink doesn't disappear and a whine escapes his lips. He wants to run away and get back home, into the comfort of his room and his mangas.

Sungjae chuckles as he wraps an arm around Hyuk's shoulder, effectively blocking any attempt of escape. "A shop, duh," he deadpans, confirming his best friend's fears. "It's your birthday today, gotta celebrate in style, big boy!" He flashes an eat-ing grin at Hyuk's horror-stricken face.

"What―No―I'm going home," Hyuk protests, but Sungjae's hold is too strong and the next moment he's getting pushed into the store despite his whines and groans of protestation. "Sungjae, l don't think this is a good―" Hyuk tries again, avoiding all the toys and unidentified objects displayed on the shelves.

Sungjae rolls his eyes. "Don't think, Hyogi, it's bad for you." He loosens his grip on Hyuk's shoulder only to grab the his wrist instead, and the birthday boy sighs. He's not going to be able to leave until this pain in the has embarrassed him enough.

"Holy , look at that!" Sungjae breathes, stopping in front of what looks like an inflatable doll. Hyuk's eyes widens as he looks at it and oh God, it looks so creepy. "She has three s," Sungjae continues, "and a mouth. Wow, I need one, dude!"

Hyuk grimaces at the mental image of this and the doll marketed as the "kinkiest slave in the galaxy". He gets away from Sungjae's now-loosen hold, the other too busy staring at his future girlfriend. Sungjae has always been a creep but this is taking the cake.

He walks around the shop on his own, trying not to stare too long at all the toys on display. The furry handcuffs and massage lotions are fine, but the orca shaped and the plug with Jesus' face engraved on it are certainly not. He's going to need mental bleach after getting out of here- that, or at least three bottles of soju. He shudders, moving on the aisle quickly.

Hyuk stops in front of the biggest pairs of s he has ever seen ― even bigger than all the ones in the AV animes he has on his 1To hard drive. He's not really a s man but these are just so enormous that he can't help but stare. He raises a tentative hand to touch them, just poke really―

"They have big , too," Sungjae yells from the other end of the aisle. "They're more your style, here, catch one!" Hyuk has barely time to blink before a huge silicon comes flying towards his face and oh God, is he going to be turkey-slapped?

He doesn't, as he manages to catch it before the hits both himself and the ground. He's going to throttle Sungjae later, Hyuk thinks, he really is.

He fumbles with the in his hand, walking softly towards Sungjae when movement near the cash register stops him. The cashier is glaring at him- at both of them, really- and Hyuk feels like dying as he tries to hide the enormous behind his back.

"Aigo~ Hyogi is all red and shy~" Sungjae coos, leaning in closer to pinch his cheeks and completely ignoring the death glare Hyuk throws him. He grabs the from Hyuk's hand and puts it haphazardly on a shelf, completely ignoring the cashier's deadly stare.

He knows these eyes, he thinks upon taking a better look at the cashier. Oh my ing God. Sunghyuk looks between the employee and Sungjae with wide eyes. "Sungjae, the cashier..." he whispers, trying to avoid being heard by the man who's now leaning up against the wall, looking completely ready to kick them out, with his arm crossed against his chest and dark eyes, "that's Jung Taekwoon, isn't it?"

"Holy , you’re right," Sungjae gasps and Hyuk knows the cashier is indeed the top soccer player of their university. He had never expected this. "What is he doing here?"

"Working," Hyuk deadpans, ignoring Sungjae's indignant noise beside him. "I know that, but in a freaking shop? He's such a tight- he probably doesn't even know what is!"

Hyuk rolls his eyes, shaking his head. "I would shut up if I were you," he advises, taking a glance at Taekwoon who hasn't stopped looking at them with his brooding eyes, "he looks like he's ready to bury you alive. Let's just leave."

"Yeah, yeah," Sungjae says and Hyuk almost feels tears of relief escaping from his eyes. Finally. "but I have to buy this before we go!"

Hyuk doesn't know what's worse ― Sungjae's cackle as he moves towards the register singing "happy birthday, Hyogi~" loudly or Jung Taekwoon's eyes full of silent judgment.

He feels like dying.

He (sadly) doesn’t.



-



Hyuk stares at the pink and purple rubber duck sitting on the edge of his bathtub, and he blinks once, twice and even thrice in the hopes of it disappearing.

It doesn't.

It’s still there, an awful eyesore amongst the dozens of shower gels, shampoos and hair conditioner bottles he has used since he moved there and hasn’t thrown out yet. He rubs a hand all over his face and another promise of killing Sungjae escapes him as he sinks lower in the tub.

He has just gotten home, ready to call it a day after the traumatic events of his 20th birthday but his awful breath and the soju he had poured on himself had convinced him to take a bath. His mom would refuse to wash his smelly sheets and lecture him on hygiene for the nth time.

The damn duck seems to be smirking at him now and Hyuk thinks he might have gone crazy. Probably, he guesses, since he hasn't thrown it away.

Sungjae wouldn't have left him do so anyway. Hyuk knows his best friend is probably going to ask for a proof of "Duckie" ― he rolls his eyes at the stupid nickname Sungjae has given this thing ― still being with him and cared for.

Maybe, he should do just that, Hyuk thinks as he gets out of the tub and reaches for his phone lying on the sink counter. Anything to get Sungjae to off is definitely a "must do".

The two of them have always been like this, teasing and annoying each other. It had started on the first day of elementary school when Sungjae had ruined his homework by drawing all over it. Hyuk had then proceeded to steal Sungjae's who instead of being mad, had grinned and proclaimed them best friends.

Hyuk is determined to get the last word today. He plops back into the tub, splashing water and foam everywhere on the floor in the process. He thanks God for being able to live alone now, his mom would have killed him for that.

He shudders as the barely lukewarm water hits his skin. He should probably hurry, he thinks before quickly unlocking his phone, opening the camera application and reaching over to grab the duck in his free hand.

Hyuk starts taking a few pictures, torn between laughing and crying and not being able to believe he’s actually doing this ― posing for a picture with a rubber duck next to his face. It's ridiculous and completely dumb but he's not going to lose to Sungjae.

He ends up taking a few dozen of them, each of them being a different pose before dropping the duck in the water.

There are a few good ones but he ends up picking one of him doing duck lips to match the toy's, half of chest also put on display before the rest of his body gets hidden by foam. It's probably going to get a good laugh out of Sungjae, he guesses.

He's ready to send it and is scrolling down his contacts when something weird grabs his attention. Something weird has definitely happened to his contact list.

Of course, he realizes, remembering that Sungjae had used his phone earlier on the pretense of "needing to show him something really cool". Hyuk had been too trashed to say no and Sungjae had obviously taken advantage of that.

He stares at all his contact names, now named after anime characters. It's going to take ages to find out who's who and he's already cringing inwardly at all the awkward texts he will have to send later.

Even more annoyed at his best friend now, he opens a text quickly and types the digits he thinks make up Sungjae's number. Take that, you , he growls under his breath.
 

Hyuk cringes at the lame pun he just made but shrugs, figuring it's worth it. He hasn't really won, not when he’s just done what his best friend had expected him to do but at least, he has done something.

He gets out of the tub, and grabs his favorite dark green towel to dry himself with one hand when his phone vibrates in the other. Hyuk rolls his eyes at the speed of Sungjae's reply, pretty sure that the latter had been waiting for his text.

Three things happen simultaneously when he opens the text:

1. His towel drops on the floor and he slips on it, falling right down on his
2. He starts to laugh hysterically
3. His hits his head against the wall, multiple time until he stops laughing and wants to die instead
 

He really wants to die now.



-



"You did what?" Sungjae asks, clapping his hands against the table they're sitting at and grinning crazily at him. He looks like a mad man and Hyuk wants to slip under the table and hide from all the café customers looking at them.

Hyuk face-palms as he remembers last night's events, and he takes a sip of his hot chocolate before sighing. "I texted him back and told him he was really attractive."

Sungjae's grin gets even wider if it was possible and Hyuk doesn't like that. He doesn't like that at all. "Let me get this straight," he starts loudly, only to be kicked in the shin by Hyuk.

"Ouch, man. Anyway," he says again, this time only for Hyuk to hear, "you sent a dude a selca of yourself and Duckie in the tub thinking it was me... and he sent you one selca back, of him and his own ing duck while asking you if he could your ." He laughs until tears of laughter roll down his cheeks. "This is glorious."

" my duck, not ," Hyuk corrects, trying to keep the rest of his dignity in check.

Sungjae waves this excuse away, "Duck, , it's the same thing. You telling him he's hot is the icing on the cake, though."

"Ravi said "thank you", mind you. We talked a little... He's a cool guy."

It's true. They’d talked for a few hours, exchanging text messages, after Hyuk's initial embarrassment had passed. He had started by apologizing but the other had thankfully laughed it off.

Sungjae's eyebrows wiggle teasingly, "Ravi, eh? Sounds either like a douchebag or a star."

"Shut up," Hyuk mumbles, annoyed by his friend's comment. "Don't be an . He's really nice. His real name is Wonsik."

He had been a bit nervous about the other at first. The tattoos and bright blue hair he had seen on the selca were a little intimidating, but Ravi had been nothing but polite and funny.

"Sorry," Sungjae says, lowering his face and rubbing the back of his neck, "this was uncalled for. Show me his picture, man."

Hyuk shakes his head, "Only if you fix whatever you did to my contact list. Also, Nami² for my mom?" His nose wrinkles at the discovery he made this morning. "You're a creep."

"Your mom is hot." Sungjae shrugs, raising his hands innocently as Hyuk throws him a glare. He doesn't look threatening at all but Sungjae doesn't want to take the risk of pissing him off for real. "Anyway, yeah, I will fix it. Just show me."

"Fine," Hyuk sighs, but still takes his phone out his jeans' pocket. He unlocks it with a quick slide of his finger on the screen and opens Ravi's thread of messages, looking for the picture. "Here," he says after a few minutes of backtracking, shoving his cellphone under his friend's nose.

"He looks cool," Sungjae agrees. Hyuk nods, ready to put his phone back in his pocket when Sungjae grabs it from his hold. "What?" The slightly older boy says, smiling innocently, "I'm just going to fix the numbers now."

"Oh, okay," Hyuk says, handing his phone over. There's something suspicious in Sungjae's attitude and the way he grins but it's too late anyway and Hyuk just hopes it's not going to be anything bad this time.

Hopefully, Sungjae isn't in the process of sending his pic with Duckie to all his contacts. Hyuk mentally cringes at the thought of it happening as he finishes his drink. His mom would probably disown him and he doesn't want to even think of his friends' reactions. Taehyung and Jimin would probably print it and placard it all over the campus and Namjoo would happily share it with all her noona friends and the friends of her friends and―

“Done,” Sungjae exclaims, pushing his chair back to stand up and putting the phone on the table. Hyuk raises an eyebrow as he wonders what’s going on. Sungjae is usually the laziest dude ever, never leaving early or even on time. “Sorry dude, I need to leave. I’m taking Sooyoung¹ out and you know how she is…”

“Yeah, I know,” Hyuk says, as he can imagine Sungjae’s on-and-off girlfriend’s look of impatience. Despite being a year younger than them, Park Sooyoung is scary. She’s loud, has no limits, and is also able to completely turn Sungjae into a shy puppy. He is completely whipped by her and Hyuk can understand why. That girl could drive anyone crazy. “See you later,” he adds, grabbing his phone.

“Yeah, talk to you later,” Sungjae echoes as he leaves with his cup of cappuccino in one hand. Hyuk hums, not bothering to look up from his phone as he starts scrolling down his contacts list. Everything seems to be in order and he smiles, relieved that Sungjae hasn’t pulled another move so soon after the last one.

He jumps as the phone vibrates twice in his hand and he quickly presses on the screen to open the text message he’s just received.

Of course, Sungjae had done something. Of course. Why had he even hoped for something different? Hyuk stares at the text, unsure of what to do.
 

Another text comes in before he even decides if he should reply to the first and he bites his lower lip, wondering if he should throw his phone into the Han River, move away from Seoul and preferably, far away from both Yook Sungjae and Ravi.
 

Hyuk raises an eyebrow. What the hell is he talking about? He reads the message again before taking a look at the contact number being displayed on top of the screen, except it’s not a phone number anymore. Grimmjow Jaggerjack, he reads and he chuckles, forgetting to be angry at Sungjae for a second.

That’s a good one, he admits, but it doesn’t make anything better.

Yook Sungjae is going to die and this date isn’t going to happen (not so soon, at least).



-



It happens.

Hyuk spent the night awake, trying to come up with the perfect plan to escape his fate and this probably disastrous date but it hasn’t worked. He shot down idea after idea for being either too ridiculous or impossible.

The simplest one, he had figured, would have been to cancel on Ravi but it was also the only thing he could not do. Hiding from Sungjae and break a bone to avoid the date, sure, he would have done if it had a chance of working (it didn’t). Cancelling a date with a hot guy and pass for a loser? No way in hell. Han Hyuk isn’t a loser.

That’s how he finds himself in Starbucks, five minutes early and sitting at the table he usually shares with the demon sitting one table behind him.

Sungjae had been waiting in his living room when he woke up, clearly determined to make sure Hyuk attended the date. Hyuk had rolled his eyes and neck-chopped him a few times but hadn’t kicked him out. He wouldn’t have been able to for long, not with the three spare keys Sungjae had made for ”emergencies”, ”really urgent emergencies” and ”just in case I miss you.”

His best friend had also decided to stay in the café after accompanying him, even grumbling about the lack of popcorn for what would be the ”most awkward date in history” and obviously taking advantage of Hyuk’s sense of decency in public.

Someone clears his throat next to him and Hyuk looks up from his drink, ignoring the squeal coming from behind him. Damn, he thinks, Ravi is even more attractive in person. “You’re Hyuk, right?” He asks and Hyuk nods dumbly, not trusting his voice.

“Okay, cool,” Ravi says, taking a seat in front of him. “So, um, it’s cool to meet you. You’re… really attractive,” he says, winking as he uses a line from one of Hyuk’s text message. The younger just nods again, wondering how many minutes are left before Ravi leaves.

“Speak, ,” Sungjae whispers loudly from behind him and Hyuk squeaks before rubbing the back of his hair. “Ah, thanks, you too, yeah,” he stammers, “I really like the hair. Very Grimmjow.”

Hyuk tries to ignore the strangled noise Sungjae makes, instead focusing on Wonsik and the curious expression the other holds. Ravi finally chuckles, nodding his head, “It’s that dude from Bleach, isn’t it?” Hyuk’s eyes widen and he nods, clearly impressed. “Yeah.”

“My roommate ― his name is Jaehwan, is an anime freak so I kind of… know stuff,” Ravi explains and Hyuk smiles, happy he didn’t humiliate himself. “That’s cool. He’s the anime freak and you’re the duck freak…” Hyuk points out, looking innocently at his date.

Both Sungjae and Ravi choke on their drinks and Hyuk wonders if there’s a chance the earth would open up to swallow him whole. Apparently not.

He had always been nervous during dates ― he’s been on two before but that wasn’t the point ― and Wonsik being so good looking isn’t helping– but this is a new record on the loser scale. Sungjae is going to make fun of him for years after this.

“That makes both of us, I guess,” Ravi jokes, not affected by Hyuk’s foot-in-the-mouth syndrom. “Yours is quite cute. Wouldn’t mind playing with it.”

“Oh, yeah?” Hyuk asks, suddenly feeling a bit bold now that Ravi hasn’t left despite his weirdness. “I thought you would have liked to play with me more.”

From the corner of his eyes, he can see Sungjae’s horrified face and this is even better. If he has to be honest, it might even be the main reason for him being so forward. That, or the fact that Ravi is really his style.

“Play with you, eh?” Ravi grins, winking at him. “Very forward, aren’t you. I like that.”

“That’s good, then because I think I might really like you.”

Ravi smiles, winking at him once again. Hyuk wonders if he might have an eye defect. That’s alright, he’s still hot with it. “Let’s just go p―”

There’s a loud noise behind them and both look over when Sungjae gets up, his face white with what looks like horror written all over it. “ this, I’m done.”

Han Hyuk is the real winner ― a boyfriend (a hot one!) and a best friend who’s not going to bother him for a while.

Bow down, peasants.
 

¹ Park Sooyoung is actually Red Velvet’s Joy real name.
² Nami is a character of the Bleach series.